Class of June 2011 Part 5
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: near London, UK
Posts: 582
Sleep
Its interesting to see so many of us having sleep "issues" - my current experience is that I just cannot get enough of it - even if I sleep for 9 hours I could sleep longer if I didnt have to get up.
My sleeping was always an issue and I thought myself an insomniac and often used drink to help me knock myself out. After my various attempts to get sober I found after around a week I was sleeping wonderfully and took that as a blessing.
This time round I find myself 7 weeks in still getting great sleep but very little energy the rest of the time and if I could sleep 12 hours out of 24 I think I would.
Perhaps it is the brain trying to heal? I realise the sleep gotten when passed out through booze is not healthy sleep so im hoping that is the reason and eventually my daytime energy will come back and I can feel refreshed after a good 7 hour sleep.
Im really not knocking it the sleeping I am doing is heaven compared to the tossing and turning I did on the rare sober nights when I was an active drinker - im just interested in others experiences and any theories.
I have spoken to my Doctor - ive had full blood tests and there is nothing wrong (even my liver is fine which is incredible). He did mention depression which I have had in the past but I really think now that was all down to booze and I dont feel down too often although I am getting weary of the various pains which still are with me alot of the time.
Blackbird you feel free to vent and we want to hear how you are doing and whats going on with you. I hope you find some good meetings I know I wouldnt have got this far without AA.
Chimp and Raqell congrats on day 30.
Just gone 10am here and still trying to wake up - im lucky I work in the afternoons its certainly fitting into my sleeping patterns at the mo.
My sleeping was always an issue and I thought myself an insomniac and often used drink to help me knock myself out. After my various attempts to get sober I found after around a week I was sleeping wonderfully and took that as a blessing.
This time round I find myself 7 weeks in still getting great sleep but very little energy the rest of the time and if I could sleep 12 hours out of 24 I think I would.
Perhaps it is the brain trying to heal? I realise the sleep gotten when passed out through booze is not healthy sleep so im hoping that is the reason and eventually my daytime energy will come back and I can feel refreshed after a good 7 hour sleep.
Im really not knocking it the sleeping I am doing is heaven compared to the tossing and turning I did on the rare sober nights when I was an active drinker - im just interested in others experiences and any theories.
I have spoken to my Doctor - ive had full blood tests and there is nothing wrong (even my liver is fine which is incredible). He did mention depression which I have had in the past but I really think now that was all down to booze and I dont feel down too often although I am getting weary of the various pains which still are with me alot of the time.
Blackbird you feel free to vent and we want to hear how you are doing and whats going on with you. I hope you find some good meetings I know I wouldnt have got this far without AA.
Chimp and Raqell congrats on day 30.
Just gone 10am here and still trying to wake up - im lucky I work in the afternoons its certainly fitting into my sleeping patterns at the mo.
instant
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Australia
Posts: 5,711
Well done Chimp, Raquell and Pumpkin. I think the days that end in a zero are special!!
Blackbird my heart goes out to you. I hope you can find space to heal for yourself in amongst it all.
I told myself I would welcome my next angry/resentful period. It came and I did not welcome it!! I did recognise what was happening though so at one level now the time has past I can laugh (sort of) whereas before I would be stewing on things.........and drinking. I noted that the way I talk to myself at those times is really very different but I could make some space to reflect as it was happening, and I thought about 'being here' on SR which is very comforting.
Anyway not drinking, tomorrow I get a new opportunity.
Blackbird my heart goes out to you. I hope you can find space to heal for yourself in amongst it all.
I told myself I would welcome my next angry/resentful period. It came and I did not welcome it!! I did recognise what was happening though so at one level now the time has past I can laugh (sort of) whereas before I would be stewing on things.........and drinking. I noted that the way I talk to myself at those times is really very different but I could make some space to reflect as it was happening, and I thought about 'being here' on SR which is very comforting.
Anyway not drinking, tomorrow I get a new opportunity.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Toronto ON
Posts: 1,180
Good morning all,
Today is day #43 for me on what started out as a one month mission. Marathon training is going very well...got all my runs in and played squash twice last week. That's a lot of exercise and calories burned!
Earlier this year I put myself on a very strict diet and had gotten myself down to a very lean 183 pounds - I'm 6'1". But, with all this exercise and no drinking I'm down to 177 this morning. In University I played varsity volleyball and can distinctly remember being listed in the program as 180 pounds. That when I was about 21 years old - now I'm 42.
I find this weight loss even more interesting given that my eating discipline has really gone out the window since I've stopped drinking. All of a sudden I have a sweet tooth and never miss a chance for dessert. I've been putting cream in my coffee. I've been drinking non-diet coke. And I just simply cannot get enough ice cream!
I feel that I'm very lucky to have a good family situation. My wife is a fantastic woman. She's been quietly supporting me through all of this. We don't talk about it a lot. She still has her one or two Caesars in the evening but asked me if I'd rather she didn't. We have two great kids - boys 8 and 5. We have a lovely old Yellow Lab named Angus that you've all seen here. We both have good jobs and are in a good place financially. I feel really bad for those here that have to go through all these trials while attempting to undertake this Herculean task of achieving sobriety.
I've got a couple of hours before I have to start getting ready for work. I might go out and grab some pictures for you all.
Have a good day. Be strong.
Today is day #43 for me on what started out as a one month mission. Marathon training is going very well...got all my runs in and played squash twice last week. That's a lot of exercise and calories burned!
Earlier this year I put myself on a very strict diet and had gotten myself down to a very lean 183 pounds - I'm 6'1". But, with all this exercise and no drinking I'm down to 177 this morning. In University I played varsity volleyball and can distinctly remember being listed in the program as 180 pounds. That when I was about 21 years old - now I'm 42.
I find this weight loss even more interesting given that my eating discipline has really gone out the window since I've stopped drinking. All of a sudden I have a sweet tooth and never miss a chance for dessert. I've been putting cream in my coffee. I've been drinking non-diet coke. And I just simply cannot get enough ice cream!
I feel that I'm very lucky to have a good family situation. My wife is a fantastic woman. She's been quietly supporting me through all of this. We don't talk about it a lot. She still has her one or two Caesars in the evening but asked me if I'd rather she didn't. We have two great kids - boys 8 and 5. We have a lovely old Yellow Lab named Angus that you've all seen here. We both have good jobs and are in a good place financially. I feel really bad for those here that have to go through all these trials while attempting to undertake this Herculean task of achieving sobriety.
I've got a couple of hours before I have to start getting ready for work. I might go out and grab some pictures for you all.
Have a good day. Be strong.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: MI
Posts: 720
Good Morning every one!
Oh the sleep....I'm the same way. I keep telling my husband how I feel guilty about how much I can sleep at night. But, he keeps telling me and I have to tell myself...this is healthy and good. As PS mentioned, it's not that horrible tossing and turning I used to do. I slept horrible when drinking. So, I guess we shouldn't question it and just realize our bodies must need it.
Tippingpoint - I agree. For those of you with more turmoil in your life, you are rocks. You truly inspire us. The strength you have is above and beyond. I've always been fascinated with the stories of courage and drive by people who have nothing or who have been dealt a bad deck of cards. I know the reason they keep pushing on is there is a higher power inside them that wants them to succeed so they can help others. You are the true soldiers in this battle, whether you feel like it right now or not. You give so many others hope and inspiration, and we love you for being here. TP - you are very blessed, and I'm glad you have continued without the drink.
Instant - the angry periods. You know, I've had a couple here and there (over stupid things) and thought "this is why I used to drink". Then the mood sets in, and I have to shake myself out of it - take a quick walk, cool down, do whatever. But, I have to push that thought aside, and tell myself to find something to make me laugh or smile, or I pray and "talk" to my loved ones that have passed. And most of all, I still think of all of you. I know this may sound corny, but I still feel God pointed me towards all of you. I can't imagine having been without a drink for this amount of time without becoming a part of this new family. You all bring a new joy into my life, and I feel it every day.
I was out with Mom Saturday evening for an early birthday outing. And we weren't just having such a nice time. I really wanted a cocktail - weekend, a celebration, etc. But, I had to tell myself - NO WAY. It is amazing how that thought can become obsessive. I had to keep saying in my mind "I am an alcoholic, soooooo enjoy that Cranberry juice". Good or bad moments the thoughts can truly creep up on you.
On a very good note - my brother-in-law is at a month today! My hubby and I will be sure to call him and send him congrat. And my oldest brother will celebrate his 10 years on August 5. When he came out of rehab, it was 9/11. Pretty hard to forget that part of our history. Just as the poor folks in Norway will find as well.
And speaking of history, Chimp you are making your own - 30 days as well for you...well now 31 - but that is awesome.
If anyone has heard from Squishy, please shout out.
Happy Monday to all!
Oh the sleep....I'm the same way. I keep telling my husband how I feel guilty about how much I can sleep at night. But, he keeps telling me and I have to tell myself...this is healthy and good. As PS mentioned, it's not that horrible tossing and turning I used to do. I slept horrible when drinking. So, I guess we shouldn't question it and just realize our bodies must need it.
Tippingpoint - I agree. For those of you with more turmoil in your life, you are rocks. You truly inspire us. The strength you have is above and beyond. I've always been fascinated with the stories of courage and drive by people who have nothing or who have been dealt a bad deck of cards. I know the reason they keep pushing on is there is a higher power inside them that wants them to succeed so they can help others. You are the true soldiers in this battle, whether you feel like it right now or not. You give so many others hope and inspiration, and we love you for being here. TP - you are very blessed, and I'm glad you have continued without the drink.
Instant - the angry periods. You know, I've had a couple here and there (over stupid things) and thought "this is why I used to drink". Then the mood sets in, and I have to shake myself out of it - take a quick walk, cool down, do whatever. But, I have to push that thought aside, and tell myself to find something to make me laugh or smile, or I pray and "talk" to my loved ones that have passed. And most of all, I still think of all of you. I know this may sound corny, but I still feel God pointed me towards all of you. I can't imagine having been without a drink for this amount of time without becoming a part of this new family. You all bring a new joy into my life, and I feel it every day.
I was out with Mom Saturday evening for an early birthday outing. And we weren't just having such a nice time. I really wanted a cocktail - weekend, a celebration, etc. But, I had to tell myself - NO WAY. It is amazing how that thought can become obsessive. I had to keep saying in my mind "I am an alcoholic, soooooo enjoy that Cranberry juice". Good or bad moments the thoughts can truly creep up on you.
On a very good note - my brother-in-law is at a month today! My hubby and I will be sure to call him and send him congrat. And my oldest brother will celebrate his 10 years on August 5. When he came out of rehab, it was 9/11. Pretty hard to forget that part of our history. Just as the poor folks in Norway will find as well.
And speaking of history, Chimp you are making your own - 30 days as well for you...well now 31 - but that is awesome.
If anyone has heard from Squishy, please shout out.
Happy Monday to all!
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: The Deep South
Posts: 14,636
Hi Juners,
I don't chime in often here with much to say. But I've been following most everyone's story... as much as I can. Goodness, this thread is like a soap opera... LOL. But, way better of course. I hate soap operas.
Also, had bit of a "night" last night with my boyfriend. Not sure if it's related to sobriety or not. I've been extremely irritable lately and finding fault with everything and everyone. This isn't highly unusual for me, as I'm sure I was like this when drinking, only worse. But the past few days I've been eating the hell out of sugar and I think it has a lot to do with my mood swings. I knew better, but bought the cupcakes anyway
Anyway... I told him last night basically this: That I don't love him, he doesn't love me, we're basically incompatible and he needs to move out. Upon waking this morning, I heard him sobbing... it was awful. I never thought he really loved me. Am I a fool? I told him maybe there's just something wrong with me, that I have a hard time believing anyone loves me... and in turn, I have a hard turn loving back. I just can't believe how cold I feel inside sometimes.
There are some ways we differ greatly, but I guess it doesn't mean we're truly incompatible... I think he really might love me. And I feel like now, he deserves someone better who knows for certain she loves him... we're stable for now, I told him to stay for now... that I think I might be overanalyzing things.
I'm so confused... Even typing this feels weird. I'm having one of those weird moments. I just feel nothing.
I don't chime in often here with much to say. But I've been following most everyone's story... as much as I can. Goodness, this thread is like a soap opera... LOL. But, way better of course. I hate soap operas.
Also, had bit of a "night" last night with my boyfriend. Not sure if it's related to sobriety or not. I've been extremely irritable lately and finding fault with everything and everyone. This isn't highly unusual for me, as I'm sure I was like this when drinking, only worse. But the past few days I've been eating the hell out of sugar and I think it has a lot to do with my mood swings. I knew better, but bought the cupcakes anyway
Anyway... I told him last night basically this: That I don't love him, he doesn't love me, we're basically incompatible and he needs to move out. Upon waking this morning, I heard him sobbing... it was awful. I never thought he really loved me. Am I a fool? I told him maybe there's just something wrong with me, that I have a hard time believing anyone loves me... and in turn, I have a hard turn loving back. I just can't believe how cold I feel inside sometimes.
There are some ways we differ greatly, but I guess it doesn't mean we're truly incompatible... I think he really might love me. And I feel like now, he deserves someone better who knows for certain she loves him... we're stable for now, I told him to stay for now... that I think I might be overanalyzing things.
I'm so confused...
Even typing this feels weird. I'm having one of those weird moments. I just feel nothing.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 711
I'm not sure how far along you are, but I can share with you that for me the early stages made me feel nutty. Right when I quit I started in on chocolates to snack on and I'm sure that put me out of whack. My moods changed, it seemed, each hour from great to crappy to snappy! lol I had to work really hard in not getting charged up for small unimportant things. You know, this ride sure starts off crazy for us. It's sometimes overwhelming, sometimes just fine, and sometimes so underwhelming.
The great thing is: you are feeling. Even if you say it's nothing, it's actually something. Zero has a value because you have value. If I had a dime for all the times I was berated and told "you don't love me, or you "fill in the blank" I'd be rich. In the end, you can't be the judge and jury about how he feels or thinks. You need to focus on yourself first and foremost. Some folks have different theories on the inner workings of relationships, but things sure get compounded when chemicals are involved.
I looked at things regarding relationships this way: If I couldn't take care of myself first, then how could I tend to the needs of others the best way? What kind of husband and father would I be if I couldn't keep my crap together?
The great thing is: you are feeling. Even if you say it's nothing, it's actually something. Zero has a value because you have value. If I had a dime for all the times I was berated and told "you don't love me, or you "fill in the blank" I'd be rich. In the end, you can't be the judge and jury about how he feels or thinks. You need to focus on yourself first and foremost. Some folks have different theories on the inner workings of relationships, but things sure get compounded when chemicals are involved.
I looked at things regarding relationships this way: If I couldn't take care of myself first, then how could I tend to the needs of others the best way? What kind of husband and father would I be if I couldn't keep my crap together?
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 426
WOW - I had 3 pages of posts to read when I finally signed on today.
First - Cherry - I'm so sorry I wasn't available to respond right away when you posted your news. I can imagine you felt scared posting and letting it all out, but I'm so proud of you for doing so. And this is indeed a wonderful blessing for both you and your husband. I'm very happy that your wish came true, I remember vividly when you posted about wanting to conceive. It's a gift.
I wish I could talk more about pregnancy or child-rearing, but I'm just a dog-mom. Anyway, my most sincere congrats and absolute confidence that you are gonna be an amazing mom.
Blackbird - I'm so sorry to hear about what happened with Mr. ____. Don't beat yourself up - just learn that HE'S not worth you hurting yourself with drinking. He's damn lucky to have you - you are very loved by your family here. ***huge bear hug***
Violet - I'm happy to hear you are in a safe place and very proud of you for getting there.
So many more responses I owe - I'm so sorry I'm distant guys - I'm definitely still in a major funk and I feel badly for not being here for you all. I've been in this emotional turmoil and frankly, drinking has taken a back seat to it. I haven't had to think about it because I have other stuff that is taking over. Not eating, not sleeping. Somewhat manic and down at the same time.
Yesterday we had people over to swim and everyone was half in the bag besides me and frankly, all I was was annoyed. My husband and my friend finished a good 8-10 beers and a bottle of Campari. I guess I'm becoming a tee-totaller now and I'm fine with it. I had fleeting moments when I would have liked a little buzz going, but for the most part I was just annoyed with the same stories and the larger louder opinions recited over and over and wanted to go inside and do something else. Man am I a big ugly cranky pants.
I'll have some time to write more tomorrow to everyone. I love you all and don't want it to seem I'm not interested or caring about everyone. You guys are my rock.
oh ps beulah - hahaha I'm not an avid cyclist - I just happen to own a really nice bike. Although I've been completing about 20 miles a day and am LOVING it. The solitude is great. Disclaimer - it's really flat here in Dallas so 20 miles really isn't that hard!!
PS: Can you guys all share with me your *favorite* upbeat workout songs? Stuff that REALLY motivates you?? My playlist is house/dance music from 2007-2010 and I could frankly use some new material. I figured it would be a good way to connect to you all when I'm peaceful and happy!
First - Cherry - I'm so sorry I wasn't available to respond right away when you posted your news. I can imagine you felt scared posting and letting it all out, but I'm so proud of you for doing so. And this is indeed a wonderful blessing for both you and your husband. I'm very happy that your wish came true, I remember vividly when you posted about wanting to conceive. It's a gift.
I wish I could talk more about pregnancy or child-rearing, but I'm just a dog-mom. Anyway, my most sincere congrats and absolute confidence that you are gonna be an amazing mom. Blackbird - I'm so sorry to hear about what happened with Mr. ____. Don't beat yourself up - just learn that HE'S not worth you hurting yourself with drinking. He's damn lucky to have you - you are very loved by your family here. ***huge bear hug***
Violet - I'm happy to hear you are in a safe place and very proud of you for getting there.
So many more responses I owe - I'm so sorry I'm distant guys - I'm definitely still in a major funk and I feel badly for not being here for you all. I've been in this emotional turmoil and frankly, drinking has taken a back seat to it. I haven't had to think about it because I have other stuff that is taking over. Not eating, not sleeping. Somewhat manic and down at the same time.
Yesterday we had people over to swim and everyone was half in the bag besides me and frankly, all I was was annoyed. My husband and my friend finished a good 8-10 beers and a bottle of Campari. I guess I'm becoming a tee-totaller now and I'm fine with it. I had fleeting moments when I would have liked a little buzz going, but for the most part I was just annoyed with the same stories and the larger louder opinions recited over and over and wanted to go inside and do something else. Man am I a big ugly cranky pants.
I'll have some time to write more tomorrow to everyone. I love you all and don't want it to seem I'm not interested or caring about everyone. You guys are my rock.
oh ps beulah - hahaha I'm not an avid cyclist - I just happen to own a really nice bike. Although I've been completing about 20 miles a day and am LOVING it. The solitude is great. Disclaimer - it's really flat here in Dallas so 20 miles really isn't that hard!!
PS: Can you guys all share with me your *favorite* upbeat workout songs? Stuff that REALLY motivates you?? My playlist is house/dance music from 2007-2010 and I could frankly use some new material. I figured it would be a good way to connect to you all when I'm peaceful and happy!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: essex
Posts: 451
Originally Posted by Pumpkin Soup 
Its interesting to see so many of us having sleep "issues" - my current experience is that I just cannot get enough of it - even if I sleep for 9 hours I could sleep longer if I didnt have to get up.
My sleeping was always an issue and I thought myself an insomniac and often used drink to help me knock myself out. After my various attempts to get sober I found after around a week I was sleeping wonderfully and took that as a blessing.
This time round I find myself 7 weeks in still getting great sleep but very little energy the rest of the time and if I could sleep 12 hours out of 24 I think I would.
Perhaps it is the brain trying to heal? I realise the sleep gotten when passed out through booze is not healthy sleep so im hoping that is the reason and eventually my daytime energy will come back and I can feel refreshed after a good 7 hour sleep.
Im really not knocking it the sleeping I am doing is heaven compared to the tossing and turning I did on the rare sober nights when I was an active drinker - im just interested in others experiences and any theories.
I have spoken to my Doctor - ive had full blood tests and there is nothing wrong (even my liver is fine which is incredible). He did mention depression which I have had in the past but I really think now that was all down to booze and I dont feel down too often although I am getting weary of the various pains which still are with me alot of the time.
Blackbird you feel free to vent and we want to hear how you are doing and whats going on with you. I hope you find some good meetings I know I wouldnt have got this far without AA.
Chimp and Raqell congrats on day 30.
Just gone 10am here and still trying to wake up - im lucky I work in the afternoons its certainly fitting into my sleeping patterns at the mo.
My sleeping was always an issue and I thought myself an insomniac and often used drink to help me knock myself out. After my various attempts to get sober I found after around a week I was sleeping wonderfully and took that as a blessing.
This time round I find myself 7 weeks in still getting great sleep but very little energy the rest of the time and if I could sleep 12 hours out of 24 I think I would.
Perhaps it is the brain trying to heal? I realise the sleep gotten when passed out through booze is not healthy sleep so im hoping that is the reason and eventually my daytime energy will come back and I can feel refreshed after a good 7 hour sleep.
Im really not knocking it the sleeping I am doing is heaven compared to the tossing and turning I did on the rare sober nights when I was an active drinker - im just interested in others experiences and any theories.
I have spoken to my Doctor - ive had full blood tests and there is nothing wrong (even my liver is fine which is incredible). He did mention depression which I have had in the past but I really think now that was all down to booze and I dont feel down too often although I am getting weary of the various pains which still are with me alot of the time.
Blackbird you feel free to vent and we want to hear how you are doing and whats going on with you. I hope you find some good meetings I know I wouldnt have got this far without AA.
Chimp and Raqell congrats on day 30.
Just gone 10am here and still trying to wake up - im lucky I work in the afternoons its certainly fitting into my sleeping patterns at the mo.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 426
hey neighbor leo!! For some reason the sweat and heat and sun while cruising is incredibly therapeutic for me. I just have alot of water and try and get out before noon. Don't wait, it's really not that bad with the wind and it feels great.
And hey, I need to choose a college team - I'm thinking Longhorns. Thoughts?
And hey, I need to choose a college team - I'm thinking Longhorns. Thoughts?
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: La La Land
Posts: 503
Hi Everyone!
It was so wonderful coming home form my weekend away and seeing all of your posts.
Congrats Cherry!!! I can relate to the emotions of being in your position. This darling baby is a gift for you and your family. Take good care of yourself
Black Bird- I am sorry that you are going through all of this with @ssh0le!!! I wanted to write something else but stopped lol. It is unfair for anyone to "use" their children in this kind of situation. I am glad you have your dad to lean on during this time. Don't let him intimidate you with your illness. What an @ss!%*&!!!!!
MissDucky- Hope you are feeling better and had a good weekend with your family
I know that I can't respond to everyone individually at the moment- I dont have the brain power. I am thinking of you all and want to thank all of you wonderful people for being there.
I went camping this weekend. We rented a tent trailer and took off up country. Camping is only fun in theory!! I am so thankful for my house, air conditioning lovely bed and indoor pluming. I had a great time watching my daughter run, laugh, swim and roast marshmallows. I knew that we were making memories to be cherished for years. It was very special to me and for that I am grateful.
I turned 27 on Sunday. 27 is going to be a good year for me
It was so wonderful coming home form my weekend away and seeing all of your posts.
Congrats Cherry!!! I can relate to the emotions of being in your position. This darling baby is a gift for you and your family. Take good care of yourself
Black Bird- I am sorry that you are going through all of this with @ssh0le!!! I wanted to write something else but stopped lol. It is unfair for anyone to "use" their children in this kind of situation. I am glad you have your dad to lean on during this time. Don't let him intimidate you with your illness. What an @ss!%*&!!!!!
MissDucky- Hope you are feeling better and had a good weekend with your family
I know that I can't respond to everyone individually at the moment- I dont have the brain power. I am thinking of you all and want to thank all of you wonderful people for being there.
I went camping this weekend. We rented a tent trailer and took off up country. Camping is only fun in theory!! I am so thankful for my house, air conditioning lovely bed and indoor pluming. I had a great time watching my daughter run, laugh, swim and roast marshmallows. I knew that we were making memories to be cherished for years. It was very special to me and for that I am grateful.
I turned 27 on Sunday. 27 is going to be a good year for me
Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 711
Dang bratnik~~ you had to bring up football!! 
I hadn't thought yet how to handle football season! Brats, football, sans brewskie.
At least I'll remember the scores this time around. You picking a team for $ or fantasy football?
I hadn't thought yet how to handle football season! Brats, football, sans brewskie.
At least I'll remember the scores this time around. You picking a team for $ or fantasy football?
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Toronto ON
Posts: 1,180
PaddyB - hope you're okay...often wondered about you. You seemed like an interesting and funny sort of fellow.
Please keep us in the loop and let us know how you're getting on. Aug 1 might be a good day to get started - or sooner?
Please keep us in the loop and let us know how you're getting on. Aug 1 might be a good day to get started - or sooner?
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Midwest, USA
Posts: 1,551
Hi. just checking in. I'm on the emotional outs today so... sorry if I miss someone.
I spent the day hanging with the kids and re-vamping my resume/ trying to avoid emotional breakdown. I'm pretty pleased with the resume and applied for a job that would be perfect for me. If you are the praying type I can use all the help I can get.
I had to take both kids to the dr. for checkups and shots. Shots break my heart. My Jackiebear was crying the whole time.
jennie- sorry to hear about the bout with Mr. Jennie. He must care. I wish the best for you and that situation. I hate soaps too. It sux majorly that my life has turned into a soap or even worse, an original lifetime movie.
Bratnik- super jealous of the long bike rides I, here's some songs I can run to:
Chimp and pumpkin- happy sobriety birthday way to go!
Tuesday- I think camping is great! If you are a kid, or at a lakehouse! I'm happy you are 27! They all gave me crap about turning 28 in a few days! I'm not the only 20 something anymore!
TP- Anxiously awaiting some awesome photos.
Buelah- Cranberry juice kicks booze's
and thanks for the comforting words!
Squishy. all ok?
"I shall call her squishy and she shall be mine, and she shall be my squishy. Come on, squishy Come here, little squishy."
I spent the day hanging with the kids and re-vamping my resume/ trying to avoid emotional breakdown. I'm pretty pleased with the resume and applied for a job that would be perfect for me. If you are the praying type I can use all the help I can get.
I had to take both kids to the dr. for checkups and shots. Shots break my heart. My Jackiebear was crying the whole time.
jennie- sorry to hear about the bout with Mr. Jennie. He must care. I wish the best for you and that situation. I hate soaps too. It sux majorly that my life has turned into a soap or even worse, an original lifetime movie.
Bratnik- super jealous of the long bike rides I, here's some songs I can run to:
Chimp and pumpkin- happy sobriety birthday way to go!
Tuesday- I think camping is great! If you are a kid, or at a lakehouse! I'm happy you are 27! They all gave me crap about turning 28 in a few days! I'm not the only 20 something anymore!
TP- Anxiously awaiting some awesome photos.
Buelah- Cranberry juice kicks booze's
and thanks for the comforting words!Squishy. all ok?
"I shall call her squishy and she shall be mine, and she shall be my squishy. Come on, squishy Come here, little squishy."
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Midwest, USA
Posts: 1,551
Bratnik I forgot your tunes. this is my kick butt playlist for sweating bullets...
The Killers: Sam's town, This river is wild
Wolfmother: Dimension, Joker and the thief
Gorillaz: Stylo, Empire Ants, Dare
Muse: Butterflies and Hurricanes*, Time is running out*
Beck: Girl (or any beck song on album guero really)
Regina Specktor: Dance anthem of the 80's
Christina Ag.: Still Dirrty
BEP: Imma Be, dont phunk with my heart, just cant get enough
Cage The elephant: Shake me down, Around my head, Back against the wall*
And I like for cool down
air - Alone in Kyoto
gorillaz- dont get lost in heaven-demon days
Ok.
of course some of these express my general mood these days which is sad and bitter. so there's an astrick by those....
The Killers: Sam's town, This river is wild
Wolfmother: Dimension, Joker and the thief
Gorillaz: Stylo, Empire Ants, Dare
Muse: Butterflies and Hurricanes*, Time is running out*
Beck: Girl (or any beck song on album guero really)
Regina Specktor: Dance anthem of the 80's
Christina Ag.: Still Dirrty
BEP: Imma Be, dont phunk with my heart, just cant get enough
Cage The elephant: Shake me down, Around my head, Back against the wall*
And I like for cool down
air - Alone in Kyoto
gorillaz- dont get lost in heaven-demon days
Ok.
of course some of these express my general mood these days which is sad and bitter. so there's an astrick by those....
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Kent, UK
Posts: 351
Hi All,
I guess it is Day 31 for me. I have been to bed and gotten back out of it. My body is definitely missing something, I feel an emptiness deep inside of me but I am not sure what it is.
The last few days have been the hardest of my sobriety. I used to be a teacher and the first week of the holidays was always an opportunity to get pissed. Now, I am sober, which I must thank you all for. Over the past few days I have had visits from alco-gollum but I have got myself through it.
On Friday night my gf called me an idiot. Even at the time I did not think too much of it but when she got into bed I told her that she was never to call me an idiot again. About twenty minutes ago, in bed, she apologised for it and said she didn't mean anything by it. We had a conversation about it and I brought up all the usual stuff about my past and how I always seemed to be put upon by people. I always seemed to take other people's ****. It was if they had to bring me down and directed their angsts towards me.
Now, there is one thing I know that I am very, very rarely rude to people. I might think it but I never say it. Yet, all my earliest memories are of people having a go at me. When I was 11, in my first week of secondary school, the teacher was talking about apartheid. He asked if everyone knew what it was. I put my hand up and said no, could he tell me. Bloody hell, the abuse I got from him was incredible. I mean WTF!!! He died recently but I once saw him in town, a few years back. I wanted to go up to him and tell him that from that day on until this I had never put myself forward in classrooms, lectures or seminars. Even though I really wanted to know something or had an answer!
Maybe I am just feeling sorry for myself but the past few days I have felt this strong urge inside of me to protect myself. I am an only child (I have a little half-sister and half-brother now - though we can forget the half), I hate being told off, I hate being personally criticised and I hate letting people in close. When I was 10 my Dad left after having an affair which I had seen happen (I had seen him and her holding hands, arranging to meet etc etc) but that is for another time.
I am tired now and I want a cup of tea but the rub of it is that the more sober I get, the more protective of myself I become, even from those that I know love me. As a boy I was fiercely independent, in my own little world. Have I been drinking to access the real world? Will my sobriety turn me back to that little boy/teenager that just wanted his books, his writing pads, physical and historical landscapes? Was I drinking to escape my own need to escape? And what will happen now? Is it really the case that I would rather be down here than next to my beatiful gf shunning her sleepy contact?
So many questions! :-)
You are all beautiful people and though I am not responding to you all individually at the moment, I am reading your posts and you are all in my thoughts!
Chimp!
I guess it is Day 31 for me. I have been to bed and gotten back out of it. My body is definitely missing something, I feel an emptiness deep inside of me but I am not sure what it is.
The last few days have been the hardest of my sobriety. I used to be a teacher and the first week of the holidays was always an opportunity to get pissed. Now, I am sober, which I must thank you all for. Over the past few days I have had visits from alco-gollum but I have got myself through it.
On Friday night my gf called me an idiot. Even at the time I did not think too much of it but when she got into bed I told her that she was never to call me an idiot again. About twenty minutes ago, in bed, she apologised for it and said she didn't mean anything by it. We had a conversation about it and I brought up all the usual stuff about my past and how I always seemed to be put upon by people. I always seemed to take other people's ****. It was if they had to bring me down and directed their angsts towards me.
Now, there is one thing I know that I am very, very rarely rude to people. I might think it but I never say it. Yet, all my earliest memories are of people having a go at me. When I was 11, in my first week of secondary school, the teacher was talking about apartheid. He asked if everyone knew what it was. I put my hand up and said no, could he tell me. Bloody hell, the abuse I got from him was incredible. I mean WTF!!! He died recently but I once saw him in town, a few years back. I wanted to go up to him and tell him that from that day on until this I had never put myself forward in classrooms, lectures or seminars. Even though I really wanted to know something or had an answer!
Maybe I am just feeling sorry for myself but the past few days I have felt this strong urge inside of me to protect myself. I am an only child (I have a little half-sister and half-brother now - though we can forget the half), I hate being told off, I hate being personally criticised and I hate letting people in close. When I was 10 my Dad left after having an affair which I had seen happen (I had seen him and her holding hands, arranging to meet etc etc) but that is for another time.
I am tired now and I want a cup of tea but the rub of it is that the more sober I get, the more protective of myself I become, even from those that I know love me. As a boy I was fiercely independent, in my own little world. Have I been drinking to access the real world? Will my sobriety turn me back to that little boy/teenager that just wanted his books, his writing pads, physical and historical landscapes? Was I drinking to escape my own need to escape? And what will happen now? Is it really the case that I would rather be down here than next to my beatiful gf shunning her sleepy contact?
So many questions! :-)
You are all beautiful people and though I am not responding to you all individually at the moment, I am reading your posts and you are all in my thoughts!
Chimp!
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,436
There's still a week left in july Paddy - don't resign yourself to drinking - do something proactive mate.
As regards major changes, especially with relationships - I was *so* many people my first 90 days...I really swung from pole to pole. It was lucky for everyone I was single LOL.
I really had no idea who I was, sober, until then. I'd drunk and been drunk for a long time.
Obviously sometimes changes need to be made for our good/happiness, but if they don't fall into that category, I always think it's probably best to wait on things if we can.
D
As regards major changes, especially with relationships - I was *so* many people my first 90 days...I really swung from pole to pole. It was lucky for everyone I was single LOL.
I really had no idea who I was, sober, until then. I'd drunk and been drunk for a long time.
Obviously sometimes changes need to be made for our good/happiness, but if they don't fall into that category, I always think it's probably best to wait on things if we can.
D
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Spain
Posts: 298
Just check in to say I am OK, 103 days sober and 22 days without nicotine, but feeling a little depressed, tired, insomniac and irritable, most probably because of the lack of nicotine. I hope this will pass soon. I have read that the withdrawal sindrom of nicotine lasts 1 month, more or less, so I have only one more week ahead.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: United states
Posts: 200
The mood in general on SR seems low to me. I think most of us are feeling a bit down. I could be some environmental thing we can't see. The Amy W. Death shook everyone fighting addiction. On some level I think well can I really beat this? I think at times like this we need to maintain our resolve to live a healthier more "in the moment" existance.
I think we may be fatigued because we are doing more physically because we are not zoned out with a drink. I am going to kick those cravings in the head and call it a night. I am close to one month sober. I have to stay committed.
I think we may be fatigued because we are doing more physically because we are not zoned out with a drink. I am going to kick those cravings in the head and call it a night. I am close to one month sober. I have to stay committed.
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