Class of June 2011 Part 5
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Class of June 2011 Part 5
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Good morning everyone! I get to break in the new thread!
Just a quick update on my work/golf/dinner function that I was so worried about. It went great!
First off...I play much better golf when I haven't been partaking in the "aiming fluid" as I used to call it! I shot 103...which is pretty good for me. I was quite worried that I'd really want a beer on the course as that is the most natural thing in the world to me, but I had no problem saying no...none at all...felt natural.
The drinks and dinner after was fine too...the setup was ideal...there was a bar and we had to get our own drinks, so I was able to quietly order a virgin caesar and later on I even had a non-alcoholic Becks. With the faux beer in hand I was able to rub shoulders with the guys and then had no problem turning down the wine at dinner and ordering a Perrier instead.
In the past I would have had several beer on the course, a few more before dinner plus a couple of glasses of wine and then hit a bar on the way home. As it was I was in bed by 10 and up at 6 to get in an 8km run before work!
Feeling pretty good today! Thanks for all the support everyone!
Oh...and btw...today is number 40 for me! Woot Woot!!!
And, the weekend is almost here.
Just a quick update on my work/golf/dinner function that I was so worried about. It went great!
First off...I play much better golf when I haven't been partaking in the "aiming fluid" as I used to call it! I shot 103...which is pretty good for me. I was quite worried that I'd really want a beer on the course as that is the most natural thing in the world to me, but I had no problem saying no...none at all...felt natural.
The drinks and dinner after was fine too...the setup was ideal...there was a bar and we had to get our own drinks, so I was able to quietly order a virgin caesar and later on I even had a non-alcoholic Becks. With the faux beer in hand I was able to rub shoulders with the guys and then had no problem turning down the wine at dinner and ordering a Perrier instead.
In the past I would have had several beer on the course, a few more before dinner plus a couple of glasses of wine and then hit a bar on the way home. As it was I was in bed by 10 and up at 6 to get in an 8km run before work!
Feeling pretty good today! Thanks for all the support everyone!
Oh...and btw...today is number 40 for me! Woot Woot!!!
And, the weekend is almost here.
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 210
Love your explanation for starting the new thread Dee! Sleep tight 
So, on the topic of step-parenting...
Buelah, you hit the nail on the head with your step-parenting advice to Chimp. It's not easy, but if all adults involved are reasonable and aren't the type to push boundaries, things should go well enough.
Chimp, My ten year old behaves a bit mouthy and aggressive his first couple of hours of most visits here. Seriously it requires his brothers and me pointing out his behavior and a little family discussion, and then he settles back into his easy going mood and the rest of the visit it great. My middle son told me last week that his dad has been stressing over the hassle my youngest son gives him. Once in a while if my ex asks me for advice or support regarding the boys behaviors I'll give it. But he hasn't asked me yet. Anyway, you may have to deal with the little one's behavior on each return, but it sounds like you have a good handle on it and he readjusts to his life with you and his mom quickly enough. It's definately not abnormal though
So, on the topic of step-parenting...
Buelah, you hit the nail on the head with your step-parenting advice to Chimp. It's not easy, but if all adults involved are reasonable and aren't the type to push boundaries, things should go well enough.
Chimp, My ten year old behaves a bit mouthy and aggressive his first couple of hours of most visits here. Seriously it requires his brothers and me pointing out his behavior and a little family discussion, and then he settles back into his easy going mood and the rest of the visit it great. My middle son told me last week that his dad has been stressing over the hassle my youngest son gives him. Once in a while if my ex asks me for advice or support regarding the boys behaviors I'll give it. But he hasn't asked me yet. Anyway, you may have to deal with the little one's behavior on each return, but it sounds like you have a good handle on it and he readjusts to his life with you and his mom quickly enough. It's definately not abnormal though
instant
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Australia
Posts: 5,711
Beulah did you write this yourself I thought it was great and everyone should read it again
May today there be peace within. May you trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith in yourself and others. May you use the gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you. May you be content with yourself just the way you are. Let this knowledge settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love. It is there for each and every one of us.
Friday night here. A very ordinary day. I feel so warm and now increasingly secure with myself, the occasional nagging idea that I am kidding myself- seems to impact on me less. Why can't I continue to live this way? I am starting to think of my days as 68 days into my new life rather than "not drinking"
Goodnight all
May today there be peace within. May you trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith in yourself and others. May you use the gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you. May you be content with yourself just the way you are. Let this knowledge settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love. It is there for each and every one of us.
Friday night here. A very ordinary day. I feel so warm and now increasingly secure with myself, the occasional nagging idea that I am kidding myself- seems to impact on me less. Why can't I continue to live this way? I am starting to think of my days as 68 days into my new life rather than "not drinking"
Goodnight all
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Colorado
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To all you parents and step parents out there - we have found a miracle! Check out the Love and Logic seminars and information. We went to the seminar last weekend and that night we started to use the techniques and its a wonder!!! Just go to loveandlogic.com they have the seminars all over. This opened my eyes to no more anger and a better way to handle things. Don't get me wrong I still get angry, but not in front of them - works like a charm!!!
Don't get me wrong I still get angry, but not in front of them - works like a charm!!!
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Midwest, USA
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my internet is being an a**! keeps cutting out. DELETING MY POSTS!
I'm feeling frustrated this morning, crazy kids, crazy dog, crazy husband. sigh. Days like today I miss my independence. I want to be able to wake up when I want. To not have to hear complaining about what i did or didn't do, cries, whines, burps, farts, and barks. To not have to wipe up the spills, the poopy butts, and muddy paw prints. Don't get me wrong I do love my kids and they bring a ton of joy to my life... but something inside me can't wait until they are off to college. When that day comes I'm going to sell off all of my stuff, buy a van to live in, and travel across country. Just me, my laptop, and possibly an animal. No whining husband. that’s the life for me.
*sigh* enough, dreams, doom, and gloom. That's still 15 years away. There is plenty of life to be had in there. Live for today, right? Be happy today, right? for me thats proving to be easier said than done. there has been a lot of inspirational stuff posted in here lately. I appreciate and need that.
lol @ you buelah- "dont fall over,,, this is it for the night...."
*one more thing....
*and another thing...
Happy to see you squishy. I know what you mean about going crazy at home!
TP awesome about the successful golf-dinner!
classical! sweeeeet!!!!! I can't wait to see music! you are an inspiriation!
I'm feeling frustrated this morning, crazy kids, crazy dog, crazy husband. sigh. Days like today I miss my independence. I want to be able to wake up when I want. To not have to hear complaining about what i did or didn't do, cries, whines, burps, farts, and barks. To not have to wipe up the spills, the poopy butts, and muddy paw prints. Don't get me wrong I do love my kids and they bring a ton of joy to my life... but something inside me can't wait until they are off to college. When that day comes I'm going to sell off all of my stuff, buy a van to live in, and travel across country. Just me, my laptop, and possibly an animal. No whining husband. that’s the life for me.
*sigh* enough, dreams, doom, and gloom. That's still 15 years away. There is plenty of life to be had in there. Live for today, right? Be happy today, right? for me thats proving to be easier said than done. there has been a lot of inspirational stuff posted in here lately. I appreciate and need that.
lol @ you buelah- "dont fall over,,, this is it for the night...."
*one more thing....
*and another thing...
Happy to see you squishy. I know what you mean about going crazy at home!
TP awesome about the successful golf-dinner!
classical! sweeeeet!!!!! I can't wait to see music! you are an inspiriation!
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 426
Hello superstars -
Wow - so many posts - it feels like we are all back. Squish - so good to see you. Know that we are always here for you.
And Instant - I agree, Buelah your post was absolutely beautiful. Another bit of wisdom that I would love to print out and keep with me. Before you know it I'm going to have to buy a bigger handbag to contain my redwell full of printed out posts!
TP - awesome job on the golf!!! I'm a golfer too and there used to be "nothing" like the cold beers on the course. I haven't been golfing sober yet but I think it will be easier with some time under my belt. And 103! awesome! I've been told "for a woman" I have a great drive but my short game, yikes. And bunkers, forget it.
My best wishes to you all with mixed families. I can't imagine how hard it must be to deal with others in raising children that are your priorities and responsibility. I have a hard enough time with my husbands family and we share no link besides my husband.
Mariano I love the idea of a reunion some time. Count me in. I think we truly are a melting pot with a very deep connection and the more we grow together the closer we become.
I'm getting ready to go home and go on another long bike ride. Yesterday was my first day back on - I was a little nervous because I have to clip into my pedals with my shoes and I did fall once, right in front of about 4 cars. Nice big skinned knee - I look like a 7 year old!
Hey did I send out July birthday shoutouts? Happy birthday all! I'm turning 40 in October and I'm so freaking excited to bring on my 40's. My 30's were a crazy rollercoaster.
OH the hands shaking. I remember when I would be out at brunch with friends after a big bender and I couldn't even get my champagne glass to my mouth with one hand. YIKES. Instant I think it was you describing your job to us - sounds sooo interesting. So - don't everyone hate me - but my career was based on the whole fiasco that ruined our credit markets. You know those books, "The Big Short" and "Too Big To Fail" - yeah, that was my industry. No wonder I'm jobless.
Anyway, I'm just babbling and not offering much insight. But wanted to say hi and share what little of interest I have going on. happy friday everyone. Stay cool in the heat wave and stay cool in your head!!
Classical, is this your trip weekend? Have a great time.
Wow - so many posts - it feels like we are all back. Squish - so good to see you. Know that we are always here for you.
And Instant - I agree, Buelah your post was absolutely beautiful. Another bit of wisdom that I would love to print out and keep with me. Before you know it I'm going to have to buy a bigger handbag to contain my redwell full of printed out posts!
TP - awesome job on the golf!!! I'm a golfer too and there used to be "nothing" like the cold beers on the course. I haven't been golfing sober yet but I think it will be easier with some time under my belt. And 103! awesome! I've been told "for a woman" I have a great drive but my short game, yikes. And bunkers, forget it.
My best wishes to you all with mixed families. I can't imagine how hard it must be to deal with others in raising children that are your priorities and responsibility. I have a hard enough time with my husbands family and we share no link besides my husband.
Mariano I love the idea of a reunion some time. Count me in. I think we truly are a melting pot with a very deep connection and the more we grow together the closer we become.
I'm getting ready to go home and go on another long bike ride. Yesterday was my first day back on - I was a little nervous because I have to clip into my pedals with my shoes and I did fall once, right in front of about 4 cars. Nice big skinned knee - I look like a 7 year old!
Hey did I send out July birthday shoutouts? Happy birthday all! I'm turning 40 in October and I'm so freaking excited to bring on my 40's. My 30's were a crazy rollercoaster.
OH the hands shaking. I remember when I would be out at brunch with friends after a big bender and I couldn't even get my champagne glass to my mouth with one hand. YIKES. Instant I think it was you describing your job to us - sounds sooo interesting. So - don't everyone hate me - but my career was based on the whole fiasco that ruined our credit markets. You know those books, "The Big Short" and "Too Big To Fail" - yeah, that was my industry. No wonder I'm jobless.
Anyway, I'm just babbling and not offering much insight. But wanted to say hi and share what little of interest I have going on.
happy friday everyone. Stay cool in the heat wave and stay cool in your head!!Classical, is this your trip weekend? Have a great time.
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Join Date: Nov 2010
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Evening all - work over for the week thank goodness.
Bratnik it was me talking about the hands shaking at work - I was in the same situation today we had a prostate gland which I have not seen before (amongst other stuff) and it took ages for the Dr to do his bits but my hands were steady when I did the things I have to do to assist.
Ive decided not to go to my usual Friday night meeting tonight im just shattered and will be doing step work with my sponsor tomorrow and straight to a meeting afterwards then another on Sunday afternoon so I dont feel like im missing out on topping up my soberometer having also been to one last night. Gonna chill on here and watch tv and have something nice to eat then hopefully wake up early tomorrow with energy and not too painful feet/back - all my bits are going rusty - so I can get the house looking nice then my pedicure which I just booked and will be a real treat for me and my poor feet.
Minor thoughts of drinking are popping in my mind frequently but its just cos its what I always did on a weekend and im about to fix a sobertini and enjoy that with a ciggy in my living room (I only smoke in the living part of the house when the kids are away so its kind of a treat. I dont think giving up the ciggies is going to be on my list for a while - I dont want to enough yet).
Time for that sobertini - have a fantastic holiday Classical - that music invention sounds amazing make sure you give us a link or something when it progresses to that point.
Bratnik it was me talking about the hands shaking at work - I was in the same situation today we had a prostate gland which I have not seen before (amongst other stuff) and it took ages for the Dr to do his bits but my hands were steady when I did the things I have to do to assist.
Ive decided not to go to my usual Friday night meeting tonight im just shattered and will be doing step work with my sponsor tomorrow and straight to a meeting afterwards then another on Sunday afternoon so I dont feel like im missing out on topping up my soberometer having also been to one last night. Gonna chill on here and watch tv and have something nice to eat then hopefully wake up early tomorrow with energy and not too painful feet/back - all my bits are going rusty - so I can get the house looking nice then my pedicure which I just booked and will be a real treat for me and my poor feet.
Minor thoughts of drinking are popping in my mind frequently but its just cos its what I always did on a weekend and im about to fix a sobertini and enjoy that with a ciggy in my living room (I only smoke in the living part of the house when the kids are away so its kind of a treat. I dont think giving up the ciggies is going to be on my list for a while - I dont want to enough yet).
Time for that sobertini - have a fantastic holiday Classical - that music invention sounds amazing make sure you give us a link or something when it progresses to that point.
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Join Date: Jun 2011
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Will do SweetNov. 
with Bratnik. I lol-ed
Pumpkin happy weekend to you! Baby steps. My other unhealthy habit is overeating and underexercising. But I'm not being to strict on myself.. Dont want to push quite that hard yet.
with Bratnik. I lol-edPumpkin happy weekend to you! Baby steps. My other unhealthy habit is overeating and underexercising. But I'm not being to strict on myself.. Dont want to push quite that hard yet.
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Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 711
Hi Juners! Just dropping by, happy to be on day #56 of no nicotine or booze!! It's always a great feeling to login over here and read posts from such amazing people. Fantastic work is being done here and I hope it carries on.
Have a safe and sober weekend, one that you can remember! lol
Have a safe and sober weekend, one that you can remember! lol
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Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: near London, UK
Posts: 582
Good to hear from you Leo - you never told me what your favourite quote was from the film 28 days?
Blackbird - Im the same - overeating and underexercising. I started back on the Wii fit this morning but caused a crick in my neck doing yoga - its like im not meant to do it yet but I will peservere. Just ordered a kebab to be delivered - not too unhealthy I think with the meat being grilled and salad :S
Blackbird - Im the same - overeating and underexercising. I started back on the Wii fit this morning but caused a crick in my neck doing yoga - its like im not meant to do it yet but I will peservere. Just ordered a kebab to be delivered - not too unhealthy I think with the meat being grilled and salad :S
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: La La Land
Posts: 503
Hi Everyone!! Wow..Part 5! That's great!
I can relate with the issues of raising a family without much support...sometimes I just want to run away and find myself wishing the time away until I can be "free". I feel so tied down sometimes- I had my child young, at 17. My partner desperately wants more children and I would rather gnaw my arm off. Dont get me wrong, I love my family but I feel that I need to stop trying to please others and do whats best for me for once. I know that it is going to be a major problem in our relationship in the future.
I am kind of caught in a pickle with it all though.
I have been with my partner since my daughter was 5...she loves him so much and he is amazing in every way with her. I dont have any family or anyone else. I am so worried about the relationship breaking down because I dont want anymore children. I am afraid for her. I dont want it to effect her negatively. Anyway, I dont know what to do about the whole situation and thinking about it too much is a major trigger for me to drink. However, I know that I have to face it somehow... maybe I should put it off until I have more sobriety under my belt...
Anyways, sorry for the rant...once I start typing, I go on and on..
I can relate with the issues of raising a family without much support...sometimes I just want to run away and find myself wishing the time away until I can be "free". I feel so tied down sometimes- I had my child young, at 17. My partner desperately wants more children and I would rather gnaw my arm off. Dont get me wrong, I love my family but I feel that I need to stop trying to please others and do whats best for me for once. I know that it is going to be a major problem in our relationship in the future.
I am kind of caught in a pickle with it all though.
I have been with my partner since my daughter was 5...she loves him so much and he is amazing in every way with her. I dont have any family or anyone else. I am so worried about the relationship breaking down because I dont want anymore children. I am afraid for her. I dont want it to effect her negatively. Anyway, I dont know what to do about the whole situation and thinking about it too much is a major trigger for me to drink. However, I know that I have to face it somehow... maybe I should put it off until I have more sobriety under my belt...
Anyways, sorry for the rant...once I start typing, I go on and on..
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Midwest, USA
Posts: 1,551
dang it! too hard on myself. I do know the difference between to two and too I promise!
ha! You made me lol! I know exactly what you mean. The Mr. has been pushing to have a third. Is he crazy? I flat out say "no, i'm out of the baby making business" every time he brings up the issue. How old is your daughter now? You are right. You need to do what is right for you!
I would rather gnaw my arm off
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Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 711
Pumpkin Soup~ While still in the denial stage and flirting with acceptance, I was watching that movie for the first time and the part that slapped me in the face was when the counselor said soemthing to the effect of "it wasn't a way to live, it was a way to die."
I realized I truly wasn't living life, and def not the way intended for me. I was not living, rather committing myself to a self absorbed form of suicide.
Another thing about the movie was watching her throw it out the window, yet only to find herself crawling back out onto tree branches two stories up, risking life and limb for a chemical on the ground below her. The fall was guaranteed. When we totally lose our grip on that tree branch I believe that we do have a moment of clarity, if only a flash of it, and make a choice to keep on using or keep our side of the road clean.
I realized I truly wasn't living life, and def not the way intended for me. I was not living, rather committing myself to a self absorbed form of suicide.
Another thing about the movie was watching her throw it out the window, yet only to find herself crawling back out onto tree branches two stories up, risking life and limb for a chemical on the ground below her. The fall was guaranteed. When we totally lose our grip on that tree branch I believe that we do have a moment of clarity, if only a flash of it, and make a choice to keep on using or keep our side of the road clean.
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: La La Land
Posts: 503
Blackbird- She is almost 9. Your post made my lol too.
She isn't his biological child though and he wants a biological child. I would honestly be surprised it I COULD have any more children considering how I have treated myself.
She isn't his biological child though and he wants a biological child. I would honestly be surprised it I COULD have any more children considering how I have treated myself.
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 200
Crap, my post was deleted- I typed too long while logged on.
Just hello, have a great weekend.
I spent the day yesterday with a visiting Pastor from Haiti who runs an orphanage I travel to and volunteer at yearly. We bought food, clothing and other supplies for the children which he will bring back with him. I also gave him some raised cash and he went back to Haiti prepared to care for the kids that much more.
It was after the Haiti earthquake I made my first run at sobriety- 40 days. I need to keep this in mind, that there are people with far bigger problems than I.
Just hello, have a great weekend.
I spent the day yesterday with a visiting Pastor from Haiti who runs an orphanage I travel to and volunteer at yearly. We bought food, clothing and other supplies for the children which he will bring back with him. I also gave him some raised cash and he went back to Haiti prepared to care for the kids that much more.
It was after the Haiti earthquake I made my first run at sobriety- 40 days. I need to keep this in mind, that there are people with far bigger problems than I.
instant
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Australia
Posts: 5,711
Leo "it wasn't a way to live, it was a way to die" that is so accurate, succinct and it's incredible how compassion has squeezed itself in there by the counsellor.
It's really pleasing that we all seem to be very comfortable with our decision with regard alcohol. MissDucky is on the mend and there is a general sense of joy and optimism on in the thread.
It's currently 7.24 on Saturday morning. One of the things that annoyed me most about drinking was waking up and immediately thinking about alcohol, the hangover, how to get through the day, and many other alcohol related issues. It really was groundhog day.
Alcohol is still on my mind a lot, but now it's about how to live sober and avoid the pitfalls. The intensity of the whole "issue" has come down to a far more comfortable level. when I wake up however the 'alcohol issue' in some from or other comes to the fore quite rapidly. am yet to have a day when it hasn't.
I assume at some point I will be "free of the obsession" as the big book says. I am at a stage where I can really see that it will happen. I think that the experience of intense thoughts that have a driven quality is part of the withdrawal process, persisting long after the physical. I was lying in bed imagining what it would be like to wake up and be able to lie there for 10mins in peace and not have one thought that relates directly to alcohol or 'not drinking'..............what will I think about (yikes!!)
My sister is here for the weekend. I am slowly making my way forward in getting things in order. I have not told her why I am not drinking. Today we are planning a walk to the beach, and a coffee, then there is preparing for painting the spare bathroom.
Yesterday I got very long cuddles from both my girls (18, 15).........am I dreaming?
It's really pleasing that we all seem to be very comfortable with our decision with regard alcohol. MissDucky is on the mend and there is a general sense of joy and optimism on in the thread.
It's currently 7.24 on Saturday morning. One of the things that annoyed me most about drinking was waking up and immediately thinking about alcohol, the hangover, how to get through the day, and many other alcohol related issues. It really was groundhog day.
Alcohol is still on my mind a lot, but now it's about how to live sober and avoid the pitfalls. The intensity of the whole "issue" has come down to a far more comfortable level. when I wake up however the 'alcohol issue' in some from or other comes to the fore quite rapidly. am yet to have a day when it hasn't.
I assume at some point I will be "free of the obsession" as the big book says. I am at a stage where I can really see that it will happen. I think that the experience of intense thoughts that have a driven quality is part of the withdrawal process, persisting long after the physical. I was lying in bed imagining what it would be like to wake up and be able to lie there for 10mins in peace and not have one thought that relates directly to alcohol or 'not drinking'..............what will I think about (yikes!!)
My sister is here for the weekend. I am slowly making my way forward in getting things in order. I have not told her why I am not drinking. Today we are planning a walk to the beach, and a coffee, then there is preparing for painting the spare bathroom.
Yesterday I got very long cuddles from both my girls (18, 15).........am I dreaming?
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Join Date: Jun 2011
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Originally Posted by leo21 
Hi Juners! Just dropping by, happy to be on day #56 of no nicotine or booze!! It's always a great feeling to login over here and read posts from such amazing people. Fantastic work is being done here and I hope it carries on.
Have a safe and sober weekend, one that you can remember! lol
Have a safe and sober weekend, one that you can remember! lol
56 days is awesome
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