Class of December Part 2
mergirl
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Paradise
Posts: 4,161
Hope your feeling better today Jess<3
Warren, you made me smile this morning
"A snowstorm in Atlanta? What a drinking trigger"
Haha, I immediately thought "sunny day in cali, calls for a drink. Rainy day in cali, calls for a drink, overcast day in cali. . .
well you get the idea
Warren, you made me smile this morning
"A snowstorm in Atlanta? What a drinking trigger"
Haha, I immediately thought "sunny day in cali, calls for a drink. Rainy day in cali, calls for a drink, overcast day in cali. . .
well you get the idea
Drunkaholic
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Channelview, TX (Houston)
Posts: 514
Welcome Tennisbum ... weird in that an online friend of mine was just telling me to stay in Manhattan Beach the next time I go to LA.
Sorry you got here just in time to see my Medical Show. hehe!
Sorry you got here just in time to see my Medical Show. hehe!
Drunkaholic
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Channelview, TX (Houston)
Posts: 514
Flutter -- you know I come here to write sometimes and I start and stop over and over. Sometimes I just go away and never write anything at all.
I think on the flip side for someone like me that doesn't share their life with anyone and who spends 90% of their life not even around other people it is nice to know someone is out there even hearing what I have to say.
I cut a lot of people out of my life when I quit drinking (especially bartenders).
I think on the flip side for someone like me that doesn't share their life with anyone and who spends 90% of their life not even around other people it is nice to know someone is out there even hearing what I have to say.
I cut a lot of people out of my life when I quit drinking (especially bartenders).
friend of bill w.
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: east coast
Posts: 218
ExNavy, I also cut alot of people out of my life when I quit drinking. That is why I had to replace them with shiny new sober people. This was years ago, when I had my child and stopped going to the bars. It was easy, because that was our common bond for my drinking partners and I, bars and drinking. So when I chose a path of sobriety (I've had many relapses and 'controlled drinking' along the way), we had nothing in common anymore! We basically just used each other as traveling companions to go the bars..that was the basis of our 'friendship'.
As for the feelings...omg...I cried my eyes out hard for about half an hour last night. I was listening to an old Moody Blues CD and the lyrics to the songs just got me so emotional! Then I had MAD feelings towards my husband who was supposed to be here at 930 and didn't show up until 1040. But I maintained my composure when he finally got here and gave him a expletive-free speech about how I will not accept his behavior, he can just help me with taking out the garbage but then he must leave. I used to drink to cover those feelings up so now they can seem so INTENSE. But someone told me they are 'just feelings' and they won't kill me. And they do pass.
As for feeling deprived. I needed to treat myelf here and there. I buy this herbal caffeine-free tea that is kind of pricey..but oh well..it is Celestial Seasoning Bengal Spice...very cinnamony!!! That is my treat...
I am trying to lead a more healthy life-style. Yesterday I got about 20 minutes of aerobics in at home (remember I had surgery so that's why not that much yet), I have a playlist I put on from youtube and do a combo of jazz dancing, belly dancing and baton twirling, and it was so much fun I cried tears of joy, to be able to MOVE again...after being so sore after surgery!!! And I ate a healthy dinner of roasted chicken and veggies, and had the tea I mentioned for dessert.
Charles, you are amazing..that is exactly the knd of revamping I would love to do some day..thank you for sharing with us!
Suzi, how are the kids? Hope you are enjoying the weekend..I stayed in my pjs until 8 pm last night so don't feel bad!
Warren , so good to hear about your progress on sobriety AND career!
Tennisbum...WELCOME!
Lisa, I had no idea nikki went through that!!! I don't think I could stay sober ever again if that happened to me...that is heartbreaking...and I have the utmost respect for least...she keeps trying...i've seen her struggles, and i've been there too.
I mean I have a confession..I was on the two weeks and under thread for like two months last summer...!!! I kept relapsing and would come back and post DAY ONE AGAIN...but then I felt like I was on a hamster wheel going nowhere..and people did mollycoddle each other there...but for ME..I realized that was not helping me..and I decided not to come back here to soberrecovery until I felt I was ready and willing to get and stay sober!
Hey phal!!! I love your cute puppy,,and that kitty pic is sooo cute!
Talk at ya all later! xoxoxo
As for the feelings...omg...I cried my eyes out hard for about half an hour last night. I was listening to an old Moody Blues CD and the lyrics to the songs just got me so emotional! Then I had MAD feelings towards my husband who was supposed to be here at 930 and didn't show up until 1040. But I maintained my composure when he finally got here and gave him a expletive-free speech about how I will not accept his behavior, he can just help me with taking out the garbage but then he must leave. I used to drink to cover those feelings up so now they can seem so INTENSE. But someone told me they are 'just feelings' and they won't kill me. And they do pass.
As for feeling deprived. I needed to treat myelf here and there. I buy this herbal caffeine-free tea that is kind of pricey..but oh well..it is Celestial Seasoning Bengal Spice...very cinnamony!!! That is my treat...
I am trying to lead a more healthy life-style. Yesterday I got about 20 minutes of aerobics in at home (remember I had surgery so that's why not that much yet), I have a playlist I put on from youtube and do a combo of jazz dancing, belly dancing and baton twirling, and it was so much fun I cried tears of joy, to be able to MOVE again...after being so sore after surgery!!! And I ate a healthy dinner of roasted chicken and veggies, and had the tea I mentioned for dessert.
Charles, you are amazing..that is exactly the knd of revamping I would love to do some day..thank you for sharing with us!
Suzi, how are the kids? Hope you are enjoying the weekend..I stayed in my pjs until 8 pm last night so don't feel bad!
Warren , so good to hear about your progress on sobriety AND career!
Tennisbum...WELCOME!
Lisa, I had no idea nikki went through that!!! I don't think I could stay sober ever again if that happened to me...that is heartbreaking...and I have the utmost respect for least...she keeps trying...i've seen her struggles, and i've been there too.
I mean I have a confession..I was on the two weeks and under thread for like two months last summer...!!! I kept relapsing and would come back and post DAY ONE AGAIN...but then I felt like I was on a hamster wheel going nowhere..and people did mollycoddle each other there...but for ME..I realized that was not helping me..and I decided not to come back here to soberrecovery until I felt I was ready and willing to get and stay sober!
Hey phal!!! I love your cute puppy,,and that kitty pic is sooo cute!
Talk at ya all later! xoxoxo
Member
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 1,055
Hi Everyone~ I just wanted to say something very quickly because for some reason I'm feeling overly sensitive and raw. I've read some things here that have upset me and I feel I need some distance. I know I"m responsible for my own feelings and nobody can *make* me feel bad. Nevertheless is how I feel...
I don't believe in coddling people. I also don't believe in slamming those who are down. To me there is a huge difference between those who are obviously struggling, those who are in so much pain they can't see straight. And in those who seem to enjoy the drama they have in their lives. I don't have all the answers and if I did I obviously wouldn't be here. If I were to fall I don't want to be coddled, but I sure as h*ll would want kindness, specially from those who know what this sh*t feels like! I wanted to post this story:
The Sun had an argument with the North
Wind. Who was smarter? Stronger? The North Wind pointed out
a man walking down the street.
"I can make that man
take his coat off and you can't."
"I'll take that bet," said the Sun.
The North Wind blew and the more that wind blew, the tighter that
man held that coat around himself.
And then the Sun came out and smiled.....and it became warmer, and.....the man took off his coat.
I don't believe in coddling people. I also don't believe in slamming those who are down. To me there is a huge difference between those who are obviously struggling, those who are in so much pain they can't see straight. And in those who seem to enjoy the drama they have in their lives. I don't have all the answers and if I did I obviously wouldn't be here. If I were to fall I don't want to be coddled, but I sure as h*ll would want kindness, specially from those who know what this sh*t feels like! I wanted to post this story:
The Sun had an argument with the North
Wind. Who was smarter? Stronger? The North Wind pointed out
a man walking down the street.
"I can make that man
take his coat off and you can't."
"I'll take that bet," said the Sun.
The North Wind blew and the more that wind blew, the tighter that
man held that coat around himself.
And then the Sun came out and smiled.....and it became warmer, and.....the man took off his coat.
Drunkaholic
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Channelview, TX (Houston)
Posts: 514
Mariposa -- I admire the way you deal with your feelings.
You recognize your emotions and you are able to vocalize them right away. Too many people force themselves to not feel.
One of the biggest shackles that hold us back is not allowing ourselves to ride out whatever life gives us.
To me your reactions come across as passion, and passion is a great indicator just how alive you are.
You recognize your emotions and you are able to vocalize them right away. Too many people force themselves to not feel.
One of the biggest shackles that hold us back is not allowing ourselves to ride out whatever life gives us.
To me your reactions come across as passion, and passion is a great indicator just how alive you are.
mergirl
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Paradise
Posts: 4,161
I hope I didn't upset you hon. A few days ago I went and read back over our class of Dec. where it had become a little heated awhile back. I was pretty glad we all stuck it out and stayed together, as there were like 3 or 4 of us thinking of leaving this thread. What I learned is, I really feel differently about this whole business than some people, and some of what I feel jives with what I see here. The important thing to me is, relapse or no, tough love or coddling, I think we are becoming friends, and I think our reactions to one and other come from a place of caring and respect.
I hope I always feel this way. I hate when any of us has bad feelings because of this thread.
I hope I always feel this way. I hate when any of us has bad feelings because of this thread.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,858
I take issue with the "coddling love-fest" statement. That hurt. The threads here are not in competition with each other over who is the nicest or the toughest. I also know this. When I relapsed I felt like I'd ended my life. I'd flushed it down the toilet. I didn't feel strong enough or WORTHY enough to go on. The love I got from my friends here helped me start over and stop beating myself up.
If I had been yelled at and 'disciplined', instead of "coddled" and "loved" I would have likely just quit. (I do my own tough love much too strenuously, thankyouverymuch.) Quit coming here, quit trying to stay sober, quit trying at all. So to those who think the "love fest" is damaging, well so is the "tough love" sometimes.
Be kinder than necessary to everyone you meet, for everyone is fighting their own battles... or something like that.
If I had been yelled at and 'disciplined', instead of "coddled" and "loved" I would have likely just quit. (I do my own tough love much too strenuously, thankyouverymuch.) Quit coming here, quit trying to stay sober, quit trying at all. So to those who think the "love fest" is damaging, well so is the "tough love" sometimes.
Be kinder than necessary to everyone you meet, for everyone is fighting their own battles... or something like that.
Drunkaholic
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Channelview, TX (Houston)
Posts: 514
If I had been yelled at and 'disciplined', instead of "coddled" and "loved" I would have likely just quit. (I do my own tough love much too strenuously, thankyouverymuch.) Quit coming here, quit trying to stay sober, quit trying at all. So to those who think the "love fest" is damaging, well so is the "tough love" sometimes.
There are many times where silence is the best option.
I certainly wasn't saying it happened in this thread either. We have all (I think) treated each other with great respect.
I'm not sure why feelings are getting so hurt so easily as of late, but if I had anything to do with it - I'm sorry to anyone who might be upset with me.
I am happy as a clam with everyone here and continue to enjoy the input from everyone.
To me -- we are all just talking here. No one seems to be yelling or purposely putting anyone down in particular. I think we tend to talk more in generalities among us, unless we are asked.
In the one case I brought up, one of our own asked us our opinion. I thought we all gave opinions in a respectful manor. Other than that situation, I am lost. But, like I said, after a couple weeks I rarely look at other threads. My December Brothers and Sisters have been keeping me pretty grounded. I do peek in at the Secular Connections thread, and post ever so often.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Southern CA.
Posts: 17
Thanks
Originally Posted by flutter 
Welcome Tennisbum Tell us about you!
Tell us about you!Anyway, after drinking for the past 25+ years, and pretty heavily for the past 8 of those, I've given it up for good. I've tried to quit a couple of times over the past few years, the longest stretch being 2 months.
I really appreciate having found this December '08 Club.
:ghug
Drunkaholic
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Channelview, TX (Houston)
Posts: 514
Hi, Least!
I must say, and I'm only speaking for myself: your relapses are is different in my own eyes than many of the others I've seen on other threads.
I must say, and I'm only speaking for myself: your relapses are is different in my own eyes than many of the others I've seen on other threads.
I feel for you and how you find a way to get off the revolving door and end up on the right side.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,858
I had six months sober and lost it in one awful night. I've been consumed with regret ever since.
I apologize for being so easily offended today. I'm not at my best right now and have been beating myself up all day over mistakes such as my relapse. I know beating myself up isn't a good thing, but I am so upset with myself that I threw away something so good to be numb for a night and wake up the next day in the depths of despair.
I apologize for being so easily offended today. I'm not at my best right now and have been beating myself up all day over mistakes such as my relapse. I know beating myself up isn't a good thing, but I am so upset with myself that I threw away something so good to be numb for a night and wake up the next day in the depths of despair.
Last edited by least; 03-01-2009 at 03:40 PM.
mergirl
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Paradise
Posts: 4,161
Least, I love you. Look at it this way honey, you had far more sobriety than any of us here, and your right back on track. You have GOT to find a way to love yourself more sweety. When and if I make 6 months, I will have come so far. If I fall off, that 6 months will just prove to me that I can do another 6. And for today, you and I are sober, so we both win.
Drunkaholic
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Channelview, TX (Houston)
Posts: 514
In 2006, I had 6 months too. I just had one of those moments where I said, I will be ok now. I have learned my lesson.
And off I went in the Abyss again. In 2007, I went 75 days and did the same thing.
That's why I accept I have ZERO Sobriety Creds right now. I went a year or something back in the 90s and a year in the 80s too.
So all that I am doing now is "filler" until I get to a year.
I am pretty much not even going to date until I reach a year either. My thinking is I don't think it is fair to go into someone's life telling them I am a non-drinker when I know I am still a high-risk bet. Especially, knowing that if someone sees my personal ad or something and is attracted to the Non-Drinker part of the ad. We never know the trauma this person may have felt from drinking.
I am just tired of letting other people down, as well as myself. So I am going to spend a good year ALONE and not messing with anyone's head or letting anyone inside mine.
I want to feel strong enough to be the right kind of man that a woman deserves when she is sticking her neck out hoping for this best in her life too.
And off I went in the Abyss again. In 2007, I went 75 days and did the same thing.
That's why I accept I have ZERO Sobriety Creds right now. I went a year or something back in the 90s and a year in the 80s too.
So all that I am doing now is "filler" until I get to a year.
I am pretty much not even going to date until I reach a year either. My thinking is I don't think it is fair to go into someone's life telling them I am a non-drinker when I know I am still a high-risk bet. Especially, knowing that if someone sees my personal ad or something and is attracted to the Non-Drinker part of the ad. We never know the trauma this person may have felt from drinking.
I am just tired of letting other people down, as well as myself. So I am going to spend a good year ALONE and not messing with anyone's head or letting anyone inside mine.
I want to feel strong enough to be the right kind of man that a woman deserves when she is sticking her neck out hoping for this best in her life too.
friend of bill w.
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: east coast
Posts: 218
least..I just wanted to say...you didn't 'lose' that sobriety...you still have it and the experience of being sober..and more knowledge...
I have been sober 4 years at one point..and over 1 and 2 years a couple of times...and I must have 'started over' hundreds of times...but i tell everyone...recovery is a process..not an event..and my process started way back in 1988. You would not believe all the AA chips I would have had if I had saved them..I could tile the Taj Mahal. It is humbling to come back and act 'new' when I have probably had a total of 10 years sober if you smooshed all the time together. BUT I do it...and if I fall again...I will get up again...and you do the same..and that will inspire others...
I hope I have not been the cause of any hurt feelings..I will try and be more careful of what I say in the future...sometimes..I'm just tired and I type and things come out wrong...oh well..progress not perfection...
hugs everyone
I have been sober 4 years at one point..and over 1 and 2 years a couple of times...and I must have 'started over' hundreds of times...but i tell everyone...recovery is a process..not an event..and my process started way back in 1988. You would not believe all the AA chips I would have had if I had saved them..I could tile the Taj Mahal. It is humbling to come back and act 'new' when I have probably had a total of 10 years sober if you smooshed all the time together. BUT I do it...and if I fall again...I will get up again...and you do the same..and that will inspire others...
I hope I have not been the cause of any hurt feelings..I will try and be more careful of what I say in the future...sometimes..I'm just tired and I type and things come out wrong...oh well..progress not perfection...
hugs everyone
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