Alegra

Hi All -
Feel like I'm in a bit of a pickle ...

My H is struggling with Alcohol, and fully admits that he has a problem, but wants to see if *he* can fix it, before getting help from someone else, i.e. counselor, AA, SR, etc. *eyeroll* I can't even go there tonight - not really.

Found out this week that my father has Narcisstic Personality Disorder. I always knew something wasn't quite right with him - and based on some things I read, suggested to me by a counselor, assumed that's what he had. I shared my thoughts with my Mom - they are still married - and she finally dragged him off to a counselor and it was confirmed - NPD. Strange thing here is that my Mom didn't tell me - her sister (my aunt) did. I still haven't told my Mom that I know it has been confirmed...I guess I'm just respecting her privacy.

So, I don't know if I have a question here - I guess I'm just feeling a bit alone in all of this. H is 3 bottles of wine deep, my thoughts are kinda floating all over the place, and I'm feeling kinda blah.

Has anyone here ever dealt with NPD?

I want to fix it all. I want to step in and rescue my mom. I want to pour out the alcohol. I want to move forward. And I feel like I can't. I feel like all of this needs to be fixed.

And I know. I know I am powerless. I get that. I have no control over H and his bottles, Mom and her co-narcissitic behavior, but I want it all to be fixed. Acceptance seems so unattainable.

thanks for reading!
alegra

Ceres

We're all something. I'm a codependent. I think I've been involved with the whole wide gamut of personality disordered men. Codependents are famous for that. :-P We try to "fix" people. We obsessively worry about others.

Part of accepting my issues was accepting that everyone has them. I'm only stating this because I remember how lonely I felt early on. Like an outsider to the rest of the planet. But, I'm not, and neither are you and your family. :-)

Ananda

yeah...the realizing I am powerless isn't enough rreally to make me comfortable in my life..it's a start..but it's actually deciding to live my life by that concept...to stop thinking that if i manipulate the world enough I can make it better....

I sometimes go crazy trying and wanting to fix everyone and everything...but although things change and I have hope today....i have to remember that it isn't me that's gonna change the world .... the world will change all by itself when it's ready...

sorry..early morning blithering....

Alegra

Alizerin, thank you. This: "We're all something." Has been running through my head all day. We're all something. *I* am something...funny how the emphasis can change the whole meaning, eh? And this *I* needs to stop trying to fix everything and everyone and begin to learn how to be comfortable with all emotion - good, bad, ugly.

Ananda - this: "the realizing I am powerless isn't enough rreally to make me comfortable in my life..it's a start..but it's actually deciding to live my life by that concept...to stop thinking that if i manipulate the world enough I can make it better" has also been running through my head. I do *know* that I am powerless, but I haven't truly been LIVING. Really LIVING. Living is all things good. And all things bad. And all things scary. And all things wonderful. And all things ugly. I run from or try to fix all of the negative things - I think maybe I just need to accept that not everything is comfortable.

Thanks for weighing in.