Npd Hi All - Feel like I'm in a bit of a pickle ... My H is struggling with Alcohol, and fully admits that he has a problem, but wants to see if *he* can fix it, before getting help from someone else, i.e. counselor, AA, SR, etc. *eyeroll* I can't even go there tonight - not really. Found out this week that my father has Narcisstic Personality Disorder. I always knew something wasn't quite right with him - and based on some things I read, suggested to me by a counselor, assumed that's what he had. I shared my thoughts with my Mom - they are still married - and she finally dragged him off to a counselor and it was confirmed - NPD. Strange thing here is that my Mom didn't tell me - her sister (my aunt) did. I still haven't told my Mom that I know it has been confirmed...I guess I'm just respecting her privacy. So, I don't know if I have a question here - I guess I'm just feeling a bit alone in all of this. H is 3 bottles of wine deep, my thoughts are kinda floating all over the place, and I'm feeling kinda blah. Has anyone here ever dealt with NPD? I want to fix it all. I want to step in and rescue my mom. I want to pour out the alcohol. I want to move forward. And I feel like I can't. I feel like all of this needs to be fixed. And I know. I know I am powerless. I get that. I have no control over H and his bottles, Mom and her co-narcissitic behavior, but I want it all to be fixed. Acceptance seems so unattainable. thanks for reading! alegra |
We're all something. I'm a codependent. I think I've been involved with the whole wide gamut of personality disordered men. Codependents are famous for that. :-P We try to "fix" people. We obsessively worry about others. Part of accepting my issues was accepting that everyone has them. I'm only stating this because I remember how lonely I felt early on. Like an outsider to the rest of the planet. But, I'm not, and neither are you and your family. :-) |
yeah...the realizing I am powerless isn't enough rreally to make me comfortable in my life..it's a start..but it's actually deciding to live my life by that concept...to stop thinking that if i manipulate the world enough I can make it better.... I sometimes go crazy trying and wanting to fix everyone and everything...but although things change and I have hope today....i have to remember that it isn't me that's gonna change the world .... the world will change all by itself when it's ready... sorry..early morning blithering.... |
Alizerin, thank you. This: "We're all something." Has been running through my head all day. We're all something. *I* am something...funny how the emphasis can change the whole meaning, eh? And this *I* needs to stop trying to fix everything and everyone and begin to learn how to be comfortable with all emotion - good, bad, ugly. Ananda - this: "the realizing I am powerless isn't enough rreally to make me comfortable in my life..it's a start..but it's actually deciding to live my life by that concept...to stop thinking that if i manipulate the world enough I can make it better" has also been running through my head. I do *know* that I am powerless, but I haven't truly been LIVING. Really LIVING. Living is all things good. And all things bad. And all things scary. And all things wonderful. And all things ugly. I run from or try to fix all of the negative things - I think maybe I just need to accept that not everything is comfortable. Thanks for weighing in. |
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