Alizerin, thank you. This: "We're all something." Has been running through my head all day. We're all something. *I* am something...funny how the emphasis can change the whole meaning, eh? And this *I* needs to stop trying to fix everything and everyone and begin to learn how to be comfortable with all emotion - good, bad, ugly.
Ananda - this: "the realizing I am powerless isn't enough rreally to make me comfortable in my life..it's a start..but it's actually deciding to live my life by that concept...to stop thinking that if i manipulate the world enough I can make it better" has also been running through my head. I do *know* that I am powerless, but I haven't truly been LIVING. Really LIVING. Living is all things good. And all things bad. And all things scary. And all things wonderful. And all things ugly. I run from or try to fix all of the negative things - I think maybe I just need to accept that not everything is comfortable.
Thanks for weighing in.