Just confused
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Join Date: Jan 2024
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Just confused
I got Married just a few months ago . My husband after a month was sick and just wasn’t him self shortly after that he took off and then took off again when he said he was on his way home . He lied and told me he was at a bar . Anyhow it happened a couple of more times and he then admitted he was doing crack . Each time saying he will stop and in denial as he says he is getting better because the binges are less and less . He was an addict before and was off of drugs for so I think 10 years but since I have known him he always drank which gradual got worse and now this . Anyhow the last time he did it I kicked him out he agreed to do therapy and drug testing but says he is too busy to find the time but is staying clean. Anyhow I know Addiction all too well. I refused to spend anymore of my life wasted on it … so I’m confused do I give him more time or file for a divorce. Of course I have Gotten it’s my fault and if I kick Him out he will get worse and even die … all the heartbreaking things… His family our enablers as well. Thank you for your support
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Join Date: Nov 2016
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Hi Chk. Glad you found the forum, sorry for what brings you here, of course.
Yes, the manipulative words - should just be ignored because this is addiction 101.
So he has moved back in? Is now going back on his words about therapy and drug testing?
I wouldn't believe him, addicts lie. You've only been married for a few months and he has already taken off twice?
This could go on for years and years. if you read around the forum you will see that often happens. What do you want to do?
Even if you want to pursue the relationship, or see how he goes, having him leave and work on himself (sober) for at least a year (with little to no contact) would perhaps be a good idea.
Yes, the manipulative words - should just be ignored because this is addiction 101.
So he has moved back in? Is now going back on his words about therapy and drug testing?
I wouldn't believe him, addicts lie. You've only been married for a few months and he has already taken off twice?
This could go on for years and years. if you read around the forum you will see that often happens. What do you want to do?
Even if you want to pursue the relationship, or see how he goes, having him leave and work on himself (sober) for at least a year (with little to no contact) would perhaps be a good idea.
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Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 291
Hi Chk
I would agree with Trailmix.
Remove yourself from the chaos, by having him live elsewhere and sort himself out. Actions speak louder than words, and you don't have a frontt row seat to it all.
Put yourself first.
Much Love
Bute x
I would agree with Trailmix.
Remove yourself from the chaos, by having him live elsewhere and sort himself out. Actions speak louder than words, and you don't have a frontt row seat to it all.
Put yourself first.
Much Love
Bute x
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2024
Posts: 7
Thank you guys . He has taking off I believe four times . Two times he came back home so 6 times I’m aware that he went to smoke crack. I talked To an attorney yesterday and he told me to get out while I still can . I’m very heartbroken. I talked To my husband last night and he was saying I think I’m better than everyone and he is clean he just has no time to call a drug therapist and that’s my fault because I made His life harder kicking him out . I do not know I messaged him explaining I would Be willing to try one more time if he follows through with counseling and sobriety but if not I want A divorce. I can Not loose my life for his addictions. So far no reply .
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Join Date: Nov 2016
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I really am sorry, I know this is very hurtful Chk. You can't trust anything he says right now, so giving him another chance, before he has been clean, sober and in recovery for at least a year will probably just end in more hurt for you.
The lawyer has given you very sound advice.
Addicts lie and distort and deflect to protect their addiction, whether that's alcohol or crack. They also love their drug of choice more than anything else, he loves it more than you, more than his family, probably more than himself. It is his main focus every day and every night. Once you try to come between him and his true love you will be (actually already are) firmly in the enemy camp.
Him saying you think you are better than everyone etc etc is just defending that addiction.
He has left you 6 times!
You honestly deserve so much better than this, respect, kindness.
This is terrible treatment. Why do you think you have such a high tolerance for his poor treatment? Are there people in your family who used drugs or was it dysfunctional in some other way? I ask because, in general, growing up in that kind of environment can set you up for accepting poor treatment.
The lawyer has given you very sound advice.
Addicts lie and distort and deflect to protect their addiction, whether that's alcohol or crack. They also love their drug of choice more than anything else, he loves it more than you, more than his family, probably more than himself. It is his main focus every day and every night. Once you try to come between him and his true love you will be (actually already are) firmly in the enemy camp.
Him saying you think you are better than everyone etc etc is just defending that addiction.
He has left you 6 times!
You honestly deserve so much better than this, respect, kindness.
This is terrible treatment. Why do you think you have such a high tolerance for his poor treatment? Are there people in your family who used drugs or was it dysfunctional in some other way? I ask because, in general, growing up in that kind of environment can set you up for accepting poor treatment.
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Join Date: Jan 2024
Posts: 7
Originally Posted by trailmix 
I really am sorry, I know this is very hurtful Chk. You can't trust anything he says right now, so giving him another chance, before he has been clean, sober and in recovery for at least a year will probably just end in more hurt for you.
The lawyer has given you very sound advice.
Addicts lie and distort and deflect to protect their addiction, whether that's alcohol or crack. They also love their drug of choice more than anything else, he loves it more than you, more than his family, probably more than himself. It is his main focus every day and every night. Once you try to come between him and his true love you will be (actually already are) firmly in the enemy camp.
Him saying you think you are better than everyone etc etc is just defending that addiction.
He has left you 6 times!
You honestly deserve so much better than this, respect, kindness.
This is terrible treatment. Why do you think you have such a high tolerance for his poor treatment? Are there people in your family who used drugs or was it dysfunctional in some other way? I ask because, in general, growing up in that kind of environment can set you up for accepting poor treatment.
The lawyer has given you very sound advice.
Addicts lie and distort and deflect to protect their addiction, whether that's alcohol or crack. They also love their drug of choice more than anything else, he loves it more than you, more than his family, probably more than himself. It is his main focus every day and every night. Once you try to come between him and his true love you will be (actually already are) firmly in the enemy camp.
Him saying you think you are better than everyone etc etc is just defending that addiction.
He has left you 6 times!
You honestly deserve so much better than this, respect, kindness.
This is terrible treatment. Why do you think you have such a high tolerance for his poor treatment? Are there people in your family who used drugs or was it dysfunctional in some other way? I ask because, in general, growing up in that kind of environment can set you up for accepting poor treatment.
But it’s hard because he sells a good game that he is clean and of course I’m this particular person and I need a paper to show that … I am Like okay say if he had been sober for a week , good for you but we been there down that road already 6 times …. I tell Him he needs help. Anyhow I know How it sounds . I also Am heartbroken knowing the right decision to protect myself is to exit. But I’m not able to at the moment. Still hoping he will come around and get help. He says he is going to talk to a clinician once a week. I told him if he messes up again I’m getting a divorce or post nuptial. I can’t loose my stuff from his addiction. Also sadly with all the stuff he says about now things I need to change really doesn’t give me faith in this marriage. He also says he doesn’t feel comfortable coming back to live here in fear I will throw him out again.. so not really seeing the hope in my marriage at this point , Thank you for talking with me. I really Appreciate it .
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Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 8,649
Originally Posted by Chk
He also says he doesn’t feel comfortable coming back to live here in fear I will throw him out again.. so not really seeing the hope in my marriage at this point ,
As for the addiction in your family. I think it can be much more than just fixing what was wrong. When you grow up in a dysfunctional family you tend to learn a few things. First of all you learn defenses. This keeps you from getting scared and hurt over and over again. Secondly, you can develop that high tolerance for poor treatment.
So how does that work? Well, generally, if you feel "loyal" to your family, you see this dysfunction all over the place but you stick by them. This becomes, while growing up, your "normal". Now you might think well, I'm grown up now, I know better and I think mostly we do, our logical minds know this.
Emotionally though, being in that dysfunction is still "normal" and kind of comfortable. It's what we know.
There are two ways out of that, that I see. You can get help for yourself, to unravel that or at the very least work on yourself. Or you can just stop doing it.
He has given you zero indication that he has any intention to change things at all. You can't change him, you only have control over yourself.
I know you love him and in his own way (as much as he is capable of with his first love being drugs) I'm sure he loves you, but is this a good relationship for you? I don't know if you plan on having children, but I'm sure you know that active addicts make horrible parents.
He may be a nice guy sometimes, but he is one person, nice guy, mean guy, drug addict, you don't get one without the others.
There is "getting sober" and there is recovery, two very, very different things. First the person puts down the drugs (which is very hard) then they need to look and heal from all the things that got them there in the first place. They need to learn to live life on life's terms and to cope without drugs (this is probably even harder and can take a lot of time to sort out).
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Join Date: Jan 2024
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Originally Posted by trailmix
Well translated in to addiction-speak what he's really probably saying is he's still doing drugs and if he comes back he either needs to not do them or hide it. So he is choosing staying away.
As for the addiction in your family. I think it can be much more than just fixing what was wrong. When you grow up in a dysfunctional family you tend to learn a few things. First of all you learn defenses. This keeps you from getting scared and hurt over and over again. Secondly, you can develop that high tolerance for poor treatment.
So how does that work? Well, generally, if you feel "loyal" to your family, you see this dysfunction all over the place but you stick by them. This becomes, while growing up, your "normal". Now you might think well, I'm grown up now, I know better and I think mostly we do, our logical minds know this.
Emotionally though, being in that dysfunction is still "normal" and kind of comfortable. It's what we know.
There are two ways out of that, that I see. You can get help for yourself, to unravel that or at the very least work on yourself. Or you can just stop doing it.
He has given you zero indication that he has any intention to change things at all. You can't change him, you only have control over yourself.
I know you love him and in his own way (as much as he is capable of with his first love being drugs) I'm sure he loves you, but is this a good relationship for you? I don't know if you plan on having children, but I'm sure you know that active addicts make horrible parents.
He may be a nice guy sometimes, but he is one person, nice guy, mean guy, drug addict, you don't get one without the others.
There is "getting sober" and there is recovery, two very, very different things. First the person puts down the drugs (which is very hard) then they need to look and heal from all the things that got them there in the first place. They need to learn to live life on life's terms and to cope without drugs (this is probably even harder and can take a lot of time to sort out).
As for the addiction in your family. I think it can be much more than just fixing what was wrong. When you grow up in a dysfunctional family you tend to learn a few things. First of all you learn defenses. This keeps you from getting scared and hurt over and over again. Secondly, you can develop that high tolerance for poor treatment.
So how does that work? Well, generally, if you feel "loyal" to your family, you see this dysfunction all over the place but you stick by them. This becomes, while growing up, your "normal". Now you might think well, I'm grown up now, I know better and I think mostly we do, our logical minds know this.
Emotionally though, being in that dysfunction is still "normal" and kind of comfortable. It's what we know.
There are two ways out of that, that I see. You can get help for yourself, to unravel that or at the very least work on yourself. Or you can just stop doing it.
He has given you zero indication that he has any intention to change things at all. You can't change him, you only have control over yourself.
I know you love him and in his own way (as much as he is capable of with his first love being drugs) I'm sure he loves you, but is this a good relationship for you? I don't know if you plan on having children, but I'm sure you know that active addicts make horrible parents.
He may be a nice guy sometimes, but he is one person, nice guy, mean guy, drug addict, you don't get one without the others.
There is "getting sober" and there is recovery, two very, very different things. First the person puts down the drugs (which is very hard) then they need to look and heal from all the things that got them there in the first place. They need to learn to live life on life's terms and to cope without drugs (this is probably even harder and can take a lot of time to sort out).
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Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 8,649
Well he was either lying to you then or he's lying to you now (both probably). The result is the same though.
He is very cavalier with your feelings. I'm scared to come home because I can't promise I won't do what I already promised you I won't do.
OK. Also, a relapse is a blip in recovery and not everyone has them. If he even is sober now (and I seriously doubt it) he's got a pattern.
If he was ready to quit now, if he was serious, he would be home. He's not ready and he's not serious so he will stay away so he can use his drugs when he wants.
How is this your fault. He lied to you, many addicts are really skilled liars, they have had years of practice. So it's not your fault he sounded convincing and it's certainly not your fault he lied, that's all on him.
If you read around the forum and in Friends and Family of Alcoholics, you will see this many times. The addict says he/she wants marriage, a wife/husband, children, a job and a white picket fence. That may all well be true, which is why it sounds so real - because it is.
However what someone wants and what they are actually capable of may be two different things. He met you, he likes you and you probably accept many faults, you're patient? So why not, looking down at a crack pipe thinking I can have a "normal" life, I can do this and wouldn't it be nice to leave all this behind etc etc.
That's very much cart before the horse stuff though. Then he ends up where he is, unable to have the responsibility of a real relationship or any of the other things he would like but cannot manage.
You may find this thread relatable:
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-he-drank.html (He drank)
He is very cavalier with your feelings. I'm scared to come home because I can't promise I won't do what I already promised you I won't do.
OK. Also, a relapse is a blip in recovery and not everyone has them. If he even is sober now (and I seriously doubt it) he's got a pattern.
If he was ready to quit now, if he was serious, he would be home. He's not ready and he's not serious so he will stay away so he can use his drugs when he wants.
I know it’s my fault I believed him when we met he promised I would never need to worry about drugs he had been off them for ten years
If you read around the forum and in Friends and Family of Alcoholics, you will see this many times. The addict says he/she wants marriage, a wife/husband, children, a job and a white picket fence. That may all well be true, which is why it sounds so real - because it is.
However what someone wants and what they are actually capable of may be two different things. He met you, he likes you and you probably accept many faults, you're patient? So why not, looking down at a crack pipe thinking I can have a "normal" life, I can do this and wouldn't it be nice to leave all this behind etc etc.
That's very much cart before the horse stuff though. Then he ends up where he is, unable to have the responsibility of a real relationship or any of the other things he would like but cannot manage.
You may find this thread relatable:
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-he-drank.html (He drank)
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2024
Posts: 7
Originally Posted by trailmix
Well he was either lying to you then or he's lying to you now (both probably). The result is the same though.
He is very cavalier with your feelings. I'm scared to come home because I can't promise I won't do what I already promised you I won't do.
OK. Also, a relapse is a blip in recovery and not everyone has them. If he even is sober now (and I seriously doubt it) he's got a pattern.
If he was ready to quit now, if he was serious, he would be home. He's not ready and he's not serious so he will stay away so he can use his drugs when he wants.
How is this your fault. He lied to you, many addicts are really skilled liars, they have had years of practice. So it's not your fault he sounded convincing and it's certainly not your fault he lied, that's all on him.
If you read around the forum and in Friends and Family of Alcoholics, you will see this many times. The addict says he/she wants marriage, a wife/husband, children, a job and a white picket fence. That may all well be true, which is why it sounds so real - because it is.
However what someone wants and what they are actually capable of may be two different things. He met you, he likes you and you probably accept many faults, you're patient? So why not, looking down at a crack pipe thinking I can have a "normal" life, I can do this and wouldn't it be nice to leave all this behind etc etc.
That's very much cart before the horse stuff though. Then he ends up where he is, unable to have the responsibility of a real relationship or any of the other things he would like but cannot manage.
You may find this thread relatable:
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-he-drank.html (He drank)
He is very cavalier with your feelings. I'm scared to come home because I can't promise I won't do what I already promised you I won't do.
OK. Also, a relapse is a blip in recovery and not everyone has them. If he even is sober now (and I seriously doubt it) he's got a pattern.
If he was ready to quit now, if he was serious, he would be home. He's not ready and he's not serious so he will stay away so he can use his drugs when he wants.
How is this your fault. He lied to you, many addicts are really skilled liars, they have had years of practice. So it's not your fault he sounded convincing and it's certainly not your fault he lied, that's all on him.
If you read around the forum and in Friends and Family of Alcoholics, you will see this many times. The addict says he/she wants marriage, a wife/husband, children, a job and a white picket fence. That may all well be true, which is why it sounds so real - because it is.
However what someone wants and what they are actually capable of may be two different things. He met you, he likes you and you probably accept many faults, you're patient? So why not, looking down at a crack pipe thinking I can have a "normal" life, I can do this and wouldn't it be nice to leave all this behind etc etc.
That's very much cart before the horse stuff though. Then he ends up where he is, unable to have the responsibility of a real relationship or any of the other things he would like but cannot manage.
You may find this thread relatable:
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-he-drank.html (He drank)
our dreams and love being destroyed from yet again by addiction .
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Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 8,649
Yes, it's really a tragedy. A person who may have so many good qualities, who could have such a good life, success and be with a good person - doesn't.
It sometimes, to the outside world looks unbelievable and yet it happens all the time. Addiction.
I sometimes think, after reading these stories at SR, that some people can just wear a mask or last longer in the non-addicted world than others. You see marriages that last a few months, a year or 5 or more before the addiction really comes in to play in a serious way.
Of course addiction, including alcoholism is progressive, as I'm sure you already know. How he drank 2 years ago is not how he drank a year ago and now. You saw the signs and some of it can be denial and some "hope" that this can be turned around probably, but that is rarely the case.
I suspect from what you have laid out that he was using all along, or at the very least before you were married. Once married he could let down some of those barriers to you witnessing it.
It hurts, but the biggest mistake is to look to the person who hurt you for healing - they don't have that to share or to give. You know when you drink and the overwhelming desire, craving to drink happens and you know what will cure that is - another drink. That's short lived. Sure it lessens the pain for a short time, but it will be back when the drink is gone.
It can be tempting to go back to the person that hurt you because, if nothing else, that eases the pain for an hour or a day or a week, until they hurt you again. Until you see how secondary you are to their addiction.
I'm sorry to be so negative, I don't want to be. If he sounded like someone who was even remotely interested in sobriety - but he doesn't.
It's going to hurt, but you will get through this. One good tool I've found is to write a list of all the negatives about the relationship. So when you start down the "what if" rabbit hole or the "maybe I should try harder" and "maybe I can word it differently so he will SEE" and things were so good for those months. Something like:
- Had to stop on the way home from wedding to drink at a bar
- Left me and didn't let me know where he was
- Refuses to come home unless he can use
- Had to make sure liquor was on hand at all times
- Didn't want to go anywhere they didn't serve or have alcohol
- Agreed to do therapy and drug testing, but he won't
- Lies
etc etc
You get the gist. Keep that list with you, on your phone, in hard copy, whatever words and is handy and refer to it 20 times a day if you need to. Every time you start thinking what a great guy he is.
He's let you down, he's lied, he doesn't deserve to be around you, does he?
It sometimes, to the outside world looks unbelievable and yet it happens all the time. Addiction.
I sometimes think, after reading these stories at SR, that some people can just wear a mask or last longer in the non-addicted world than others. You see marriages that last a few months, a year or 5 or more before the addiction really comes in to play in a serious way.
Of course addiction, including alcoholism is progressive, as I'm sure you already know. How he drank 2 years ago is not how he drank a year ago and now. You saw the signs and some of it can be denial and some "hope" that this can be turned around probably, but that is rarely the case.
I suspect from what you have laid out that he was using all along, or at the very least before you were married. Once married he could let down some of those barriers to you witnessing it.
It hurts, but the biggest mistake is to look to the person who hurt you for healing - they don't have that to share or to give. You know when you drink and the overwhelming desire, craving to drink happens and you know what will cure that is - another drink. That's short lived. Sure it lessens the pain for a short time, but it will be back when the drink is gone.
It can be tempting to go back to the person that hurt you because, if nothing else, that eases the pain for an hour or a day or a week, until they hurt you again. Until you see how secondary you are to their addiction.
I'm sorry to be so negative, I don't want to be. If he sounded like someone who was even remotely interested in sobriety - but he doesn't.
It's going to hurt, but you will get through this. One good tool I've found is to write a list of all the negatives about the relationship. So when you start down the "what if" rabbit hole or the "maybe I should try harder" and "maybe I can word it differently so he will SEE" and things were so good for those months. Something like:
- Had to stop on the way home from wedding to drink at a bar
- Left me and didn't let me know where he was
- Refuses to come home unless he can use
- Had to make sure liquor was on hand at all times
- Didn't want to go anywhere they didn't serve or have alcohol
- Agreed to do therapy and drug testing, but he won't
- Lies
etc etc
You get the gist. Keep that list with you, on your phone, in hard copy, whatever words and is handy and refer to it 20 times a day if you need to. Every time you start thinking what a great guy he is.
He's let you down, he's lied, he doesn't deserve to be around you, does he?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2024
Posts: 7
Originally Posted by trailmix
Yes, it's really a tragedy. A person who may have so many good qualities, who could have such a good life, success and be with a good person - doesn't.
It sometimes, to the outside world looks unbelievable and yet it happens all the time. Addiction.
I sometimes think, after reading these stories at SR, that some people can just wear a mask or last longer in the non-addicted world than others. You see marriages that last a few months, a year or 5 or more before the addiction really comes in to play in a serious way.
Of course addiction, including alcoholism is progressive, as I'm sure you already know. How he drank 2 years ago is not how he drank a year ago and now. You saw the signs and some of it can be denial and some "hope" that this can be turned around probably, but that is rarely the case.
I suspect from what you have laid out that he was using all along, or at the very least before you were married. Once married he could let down some of those barriers to you witnessing it.
It hurts, but the biggest mistake is to look to the person who hurt you for healing - they don't have that to share or to give. You know when you drink and the overwhelming desire, craving to drink happens and you know what will cure that is - another drink. That's short lived. Sure it lessens the pain for a short time, but it will be back when the drink is gone.
It can be tempting to go back to the person that hurt you because, if nothing else, that eases the pain for an hour or a day or a week, until they hurt you again. Until you see how secondary you are to their addiction.
I'm sorry to be so negative, I don't want to be. If he sounded like someone who was even remotely interested in sobriety - but he doesn't.
It's going to hurt, but you will get through this. One good tool I've found is to write a list of all the negatives about the relationship. So when you start down the "what if" rabbit hole or the "maybe I should try harder" and "maybe I can word it differently so he will SEE" and things were so good for those months. Something like:
- Had to stop on the way home from wedding to drink at a bar
- Left me and didn't let me know where he was
- Refuses to come home unless he can use
- Had to make sure liquor was on hand at all times
- Didn't want to go anywhere they didn't serve or have alcohol
- Agreed to do therapy and drug testing, but he won't
- Lies
etc etc
You get the gist. Keep that list with you, on your phone, in hard copy, whatever words and is handy and refer to it 20 times a day if you need to. Every time you start thinking what a great guy he is.
He's let you down, he's lied, he doesn't deserve to be around you, does he?
It sometimes, to the outside world looks unbelievable and yet it happens all the time. Addiction.
I sometimes think, after reading these stories at SR, that some people can just wear a mask or last longer in the non-addicted world than others. You see marriages that last a few months, a year or 5 or more before the addiction really comes in to play in a serious way.
Of course addiction, including alcoholism is progressive, as I'm sure you already know. How he drank 2 years ago is not how he drank a year ago and now. You saw the signs and some of it can be denial and some "hope" that this can be turned around probably, but that is rarely the case.
I suspect from what you have laid out that he was using all along, or at the very least before you were married. Once married he could let down some of those barriers to you witnessing it.
It hurts, but the biggest mistake is to look to the person who hurt you for healing - they don't have that to share or to give. You know when you drink and the overwhelming desire, craving to drink happens and you know what will cure that is - another drink. That's short lived. Sure it lessens the pain for a short time, but it will be back when the drink is gone.
It can be tempting to go back to the person that hurt you because, if nothing else, that eases the pain for an hour or a day or a week, until they hurt you again. Until you see how secondary you are to their addiction.
I'm sorry to be so negative, I don't want to be. If he sounded like someone who was even remotely interested in sobriety - but he doesn't.
It's going to hurt, but you will get through this. One good tool I've found is to write a list of all the negatives about the relationship. So when you start down the "what if" rabbit hole or the "maybe I should try harder" and "maybe I can word it differently so he will SEE" and things were so good for those months. Something like:
- Had to stop on the way home from wedding to drink at a bar
- Left me and didn't let me know where he was
- Refuses to come home unless he can use
- Had to make sure liquor was on hand at all times
- Didn't want to go anywhere they didn't serve or have alcohol
- Agreed to do therapy and drug testing, but he won't
- Lies
etc etc
You get the gist. Keep that list with you, on your phone, in hard copy, whatever words and is handy and refer to it 20 times a day if you need to. Every time you start thinking what a great guy he is.
He's let you down, he's lied, he doesn't deserve to be around you, does he?
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 8,649
Yes, obtaining the postnuptial is something you will probably have to start.
And yes, when you are apart for a while it starts to clear the FOG - fear, obligation, guilt. You can see things much more clearly. Although I'm sure you miss him right now, but the consolation of being in a peaceful non drug-filled environment, not having to worry about what he will do next, will hopefully give you some peace of mind eventually.
And yes, when you are apart for a while it starts to clear the FOG - fear, obligation, guilt. You can see things much more clearly. Although I'm sure you miss him right now, but the consolation of being in a peaceful non drug-filled environment, not having to worry about what he will do next, will hopefully give you some peace of mind eventually.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2024
Posts: 7
Originally Posted by trailmix
Yes, obtaining the postnuptial is something you will probably have to start.
And yes, when you are apart for a while it starts to clear the FOG - fear, obligation, guilt. You can see things much more clearly. Although I'm sure you miss him right now, but the consolation of being in a peaceful non drug-filled environment, not having to worry about what he will do next, will hopefully give you some peace of mind eventually.
And yes, when you are apart for a while it starts to clear the FOG - fear, obligation, guilt. You can see things much more clearly. Although I'm sure you miss him right now, but the consolation of being in a peaceful non drug-filled environment, not having to worry about what he will do next, will hopefully give you some peace of mind eventually.
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