Swedechef2

A little more than a year ago I lost a family member to alchohilism. We be of any yes most vibrant, interesting, kind people I've known or even heard of, that did a LOT in their life, inspired many people, worked as an educator and in the arts, was an accomplished musician, so so many people whose lives were touched by them came to the funeral. A health condition meant they could no longer do all the things they used to and they eventually cut themselves off completely from everyone, never leaving a room, never letting anyone inside. Such a social busy person doing literally nothing but drink until eventually they passed and we are all still filled with grief and confusion.

My ex boyfriend was also drinking constantly and hiding it well, as well as doing other drugs. The combination of substances, the history, and the situation were different. Addiction led one person to isolate themselves completely. For the other person, he became actively abusive to the point of eventually violence. I believe by nature he is an abusive person, that his addiction is not to blame for that although it exacerbated it and is inextricable from it, because active addiction requires deceptive and manipulative behavior in order to feed it and hide it.

My dear relative was a person apart from the addiction that killed them. My ex is a person, with some good qualities and all the rights of a person, apart from his addiction, but his addiction is no excuse for his abuse towards others. So many experiences and predispositions go to make a person. We try to understand those we love and those we dislike, only natural even if it is futile. Only time MAY give us understanding, just the amount we need if not all the answers.

Hunny1116

Thank you for posting this, Swede.

Hunny