Twofish

It's recovering

Twofish

Hey, Look at trouble shooting and forum rules, last stickie, there's a lot of abbreviations that will explain tons. Take care. TF

lizwig

Good Morning Jend, it must have felt really good to write that all out....get it out of your head and onto paper. It's much harder to deny the things we are faced with once we write them out. I'm sorry your 13 year old is suffering due to her sister's addiciton. Ala-teen could help her...there is a lovely 16 year old boy who comes to our group and he always says how much support he feels there. His mother attends with him but she always sits separately, I believe to recognize him as his own individual. At any rate....just a thought. In regards to your son, mine also started with pot. So many people feel this drug isn't as "serious" as others but I truly feel it was a gateway drug for someone who is actively seeking a way to escape reality. Perhaps it's time to give him a nudge out of the compfy nest. Does he pay rent? If not, that may be your first request. He might decide if he's going to have to pay you rent why not get a place of his own? It does sound like your brother in law means to help in relation to your daughter but I totally understand your fears. If you are upfront about them he shouldn't be surprised if any of those things happen. I've always told my son that moving to a new place has the potential to help....but if you are bent on finding drugs it will only be a matter of time before you are able to. It's really just geography.

Sending you hugs today, do something really nice for yourself. Even it's just acknowledging you are truly doing the best you can. xx

Jend719

Thank you lizwig...it really does help to get it all out. My AD says she is "tired of it all". Wants help. My BIL will take her to ER detox in the morn when she starts her withdrawal. Here we go again on the merry-go-round. I pray that this is "the one"!

lizwig

I will pray for the same. As well as strength for you.

Twofish

Dear Jend, I'm so sorry that my life is falling apart just when you need support. Do you see how addiction is so crazy, drives us moms crazy. Even sober, the lies continue. I pray your AD will have a comfortable detox, hopefully not too bad. It's not a vacation, but doing it in the hospital is safe, she will be monitored, checked medically and perhaps given meds to make her feel more comfortable. I also pray your daughter will NOT do to you what mine is doing to me. I just can't believe her complete turn around from love ya mom, to your a shi$$y mom. That darn AV talking in her ear again. You will be so happy in the next 5 or so days, if she stays, the detox and start of sobriety are remarkable. You deserve a break, she will be well taken care of, get the rest you need, don't worry, feel guilty or blame yourself. Yu might get a lot of phone calls begging for this or that or no phone calls. I called every morning to see how she was doing, got a report, asked the nurse to tell her hi and that I called. I left it up to her to call me back...and she did. What's going on now, I'm confused, but I'm gonna concentrate on your daughters recovery and sobriety and you of course. Please rest, eat well and try not to worry. Take care, gentle hugs, good things are about to happen, ya! TF

Twofish

Dear Jend, So did she reconsider her decision? Did she go to a rehab or detox program? If not, she's not ready and it would waste every ones time and money. This really is so unfair that the sibling is affected by addiction too. This little girl doesn't understand that it's addiction talking not her sister, really. Alateen or a private therapist might help, we certainly don't want her to get sucked into the world of addiction. These teens are so innocent, look at my 14 yr old, was a pretty good 13 yr old til his sisters were actively using, all the attention was put on my daughters and he was left with no attention so within months a pot pipe shows up, he's acting up, all cause addiction had a temper tantrum. It's so sad and I feel so helpless. I pray your situation goes better, your family, your 13 yr old deserves it. Hugs and ill be thinking of you! TF

Jend719

Oh man.. Very bad day. She is at BIL house still. Used there last nite n now shooting water into her veins. She's combative n not cooperating. We are trying to see if we can just get her arrested because she does have a warrant. She will die back on the street. I'm soo sick to my stomach about all of it. I feel like a zombie but trying to act normal so I can take my daughter and her friends trick or treating (in the rain no less).

EJG123

Breathe. You will get through this. If she is jailed she will detox in jail which is not pleasant but she will survive and you'll at least know where she is.

lonelystar

Hi Jend,

Stopped by to welcome you my son is the addict, pain pills, I think now he smokes them he used to snort them it just gets uglier for them and us, he stops for days but then uses again I kick him out when he's high but let him back in when he's not using , no easy answers no rules we do the best we can at times I am so angry at him . But it does help to come here to read to let things out , will pray for you daughter take care of you

lizwig

Jend, I am so sorry. This is powerlessness in every sense of the word. Your BIL now sees first hand how desperate things have become. I wish there was something I could say to ease your pain and fears. Keep in mind if she threatens self-harm in any fashion you can call an ambulance, have her transported to an ED where they can institute a 72 hour hold. They could hopefully get her clean enough that she would consider treatment. Does she have a probation officer? If so, they can often assist. Ugh. My heart hurts for you and the sad truth is any one of us could be dealing with these same issues at any moment in time. Big, big hug to you.

Twofish

Hi Jend, I'm so sorry this is happening. Maybe it's something in the air these past few days...I've been having some troubles with my 19yr old AD, very disrespectful. So yours is shooting water, that sounds desperate, doesn't your BIL think that's odd? Just a hint of suicidal ideas, call 911. If the hospital finds out she is injecting "water" into her body, that may be enough for a psych hold. That's 1-3 days to sober up and hopefully consider sobriety and detox and therapy and get your girl back! What if you just called the police on the non emergency line, ask a few questions without giving too much info and see if they can go get her and take her to the hospital? Even if she ends up detoxing in jail, she will surly NOT get MRSA or some other horrible disease from iv usage. Just my opinion and a thought for you. Be strong, I will be strong too. Our girls have our love, but they need to fix themselves, we can only do so much. TF

Jend719

BIL took her to ER. They have to wait for her get worse before they can treat her. Apparently she recently opened a few bank accounts n wrote some bad checks for cash. One of which was $180 to the dealer (what kind of dealer takes checks anyway).. We'll he called my house looking for his money. Can't have her arrested from ER if she tries to sign out due to the stupid HIPPA laws. She doesn't have probation yet. That would have been assigned last week but she didn't show up to court. She was debating going to the ER tonite because someone offered her a free bundle. That's 10-12 bags of heroin. I'm just sick over it all.

Upsetnneedhelp

Jend, not only do dealers take checks but they also take customers food stamp cards for dope. It is an alternative universe, the drug world.

Jend719

Well she was taken up to detox last night. My husband went to the hospital and tried to talk to her. He said she was hysterical crying and hugging him. My BIL had taken her phone. He looked through it and found that some guy was willing to come from an hour away to bring her the bundle but told her he would have to "keep her for a few days". Sadly she was fine with that. It just confirmed my deepest darkest fears that she is trading her body for drugs. I'm horrified. My husband told her about the warrant trying to put fear in her that this is it. Now the drug dealer had told her he was going to file charges against her too. I pray that he does not show up at my house. I am not well (lupus, fibro, degenerative disc disease) and would not be able to defend myself. My BIL called me hysterical crying when he left the hospital. Today is my husbands birthday besides. I'm worried what will happen after detox. She no longer has insurance. Our ins comp had said they were done. One rehab per year and 2 per lifetime. She's had 3 since we absolutely begged. We took her off of he insurance and she was supposed to get state insurance so she could get more services. Of course she did not follow through because she relapsed. I know the worst time for overdose is right after they get clean. I have to figure out a plan to not have her back on the streets.

EJG123

I'm so sorry for your pain Jend. All I can say is that if she is ready for recovery after detox then she will make it happen. I have heard the Salvation Army has free rehab and there may be other local programs available at low or no cost. Hospitals often have contact info on available services and will give them to you on discharge in cases like your D's.

However, if your D is not done with drugs yet, then she is not done, and there is nothing you can do to stop her. You need to make sure you get some support for yourself because you sound like you are really suffering. If addiction is destroying your D's life, at least don't let it destroy yours. You are a valuable person and you don't deserve to have your safety and stability rocked by someone else's addiction, even if it is your own D.

lizwig

Thank you EJG123, I was going to mention the same about the hospital being able to provide some info. A care conference with a hospital social worker can also be requested just to get a plan in place and inquire about resources.

I also am so sorry to know how painful this all is for you Jend. Is there any possibility of giving the contents of this text message from the dealer to someone on the narcotics squad? Perhaps the bank could provide information on the person who the check was written to. At least get ths scumbag on their radar. Such a shady underworld and I'm so sorry for this most recent revelation, that truly is heartbreaking.

It's also true what EJG says that if your daughter isn't done....and is hellbent on this...then you really can only protect yourself. Do you have support? A group? Private therapy? When I finally found the courage to reach out is when things became calmer/more managable for me. I still have my moments, as I'm sure we all do, but having tools at our fingertips makes a world of difference.

Hang in there, and know that we care and will be sending strength to you today....

rcutch

Jend, My addict is my AH, and heroin is his drug of choice. I have done all the games of providing dealer names to the police, calling the dealer, etc When my AH wants drugs, nothing will stop him. I can remove 1 dealer, and he will find another. I have also had a dealer show up at my door to collect money. I knew who he was, so I did answer the door and simply told him that if he sold on credit that's the risk he takes. I wasn't paying. Got text from another dealer asking for money...again, same story, you sold on credit - your loss. Even when I gave all that info to the police - I was told it was hearsay - so nothing they could do.

I found peace when I stopped playing the game. You don't have to answer the door if they show up (and odds are they don't know where you live) and you don't have to pay any of her debts - she created them. Dealer isn't going to call the police...what will he say "I got ripped off on a drug deal"? Hopefully the bank will press charges against your daughter - but again my AH has at least 5 bank accounts with well over 2000.00 owed - they have yet to do anything to him.

Please take care of yourself, and when your AD is really done, she will have to seek the assistance herself. I'm not sure where you live, but our County has a Drug & Alcohol Commission and my AH made the call to them for assistance with a rehab - they are willing to pay for him to go. Sadly for us, we cannot find available beds with the ones the will pay for - he is on a waiting list. There is help out there, they just have to want it - we can't make them. Praying for you.

Jend719

Again, the outpouring of support means more to me thN ever right now. You truly are the only ones who understand what I am going through. I do have a private therapist who is excellent! She has written to the court on my behalf, taken time away from her own family to help me through my crisis', even had her husband call the narcotics squad. As far as I know now, the detox is going to keep her until Monday. I am actually waiting for a call back from the intervention team that's been featured on dr. Phil. Yes I called them. I am desperate and will not go down without a fight. I will lay my head on the pillow knowing that I did EVERYTHING I possibly could to try. I know it's up to her. I sit and pray and tell GOD to handle this. If it his his choice to take her from me then so be it but I will fight for her and pray because that's all I can do. This is hell on earth. I will continue to be strong for my 13 yo and allow her to have a childhood. These are the best years of her life and I will not deny her that. I'm praying that these people call me back. Other people get help from them.. Maybe my AD can too. It's worth the try. I have therapy tomorrow. I'm definate my looking foward to it. I'll keep updating. I can't even express to you the proper words in my heart the gratitude I feel for all of you. By the grace of God I found this site and it is is an extreme source of support and comfort to me right now. I hope that one day I can give that support back to someone else who desperately needs it as I do now.

Twofish

Dear Jend, My 22 yr old AD said her $120 helmet flew off her head as she was moping down the road and a car ran it over and wrecked it. Humm...I asked how could it fall off your head? She said that her sister head stretched it out...ya right. I'm sure that the helmet was traded for dope. Dealers will take any kind of payment, checks, gift cards, the clothes or jewelry off your back and sexual payments. It's so sad but true. Drugs are expensive to the addict and the dealers WILL take advantage of these active young or old users. Lets hope all your stuff isn't gone, TF