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Annoyed. Very F**king Annoyed.

Old 08-25-2013, 09:26 PM
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Annoyed. Very F**king Annoyed.

So earlier this week, I missed a call from a "blocked" number, and whoever it was did not leave a message. Me being me, I had suspicions, which were confirmed yesterday when I received a text from my AXGF in the form of another picture of her broken ankle.

The title of my post is "Annoyed. Very F**king Annoyed." In some ways, it's hyperbole because it didn't really upset me all that much. On the other hand, there is a pattern. I block the number, things get quiet, and then when the block expires, I'll receive another text a month or two later. Changing my cell number means she wins; it's a hassle to have to inform people and places of that change.

She's an addict. More importantly, she's a Borderline. And this is what Borderlines do: attempt to be disruptive for whatever f**ked up reasons she's got. My guess is even now, even 19 months after her little stunt, she wants to f**k with my head.

What a deleterious, miserable slug.

ZoSo
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Old 08-25-2013, 09:38 PM
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Despite the hassle, I would change the number. Change the things you can and all that.
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Old 08-26-2013, 05:34 AM
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I would also change the number.

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Old 08-26-2013, 06:26 AM
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I'd change the number too.

If that is too inconvenient, just ignore her messages and continue to block her. When she gets no response, she cannot even be certain you received the message.

This stinks, Zoso, I don't like anyone messing with my serenity, particularly those I have deliberately put out of my life.

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Old 08-26-2013, 06:44 AM
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Do you have a friend who is good with accents????

We had a harassing French caller who would call AH's two-way radio all the time. He would call and say rude and insulting things over the loud speaker. One day when AH was out of the truck, I picked up the two-way and in my best French-4-year-old voice, talked to the guy about my blanky, apple juice, what I had done at school that day, and then asked if he wanted to talk to my Daddy, pretending to call him loudly and letting the button go half way through the yell. LMAO And you know, he never called again.
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Old 08-26-2013, 07:19 AM
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Changing my cell number means she wins; it's a hassle to have to inform people and places of that change
.

Nope. By not changing your number......you are giving her the opportunity to win over and over and over again.

I "reconnected" with my XAH a couple of years ago trying to present a united front for our addicted son. Started out ok but within two months it turned into serial texts from XAH regurgitating our divorce and marriage (from 30 years ago!!!) spewing a lifetime of his venom and resentment. It was sad and very very sick. My phone sounded like a winning slot machine from all the dinging from these serial texts. I'd had the same cell number for a very long time (10+ years). It ticked me off but I changed the number after three days of that nonsense. Problem solved. If a winner has to be declared.....I won......because I had peace. I controlled what was within my power to control.

Yes. It's a pain in the butt to change a number that you've had for a long time but doing so makes it impossible for her to contact you ever ever ever again.

gentle hugs
ke
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Old 08-26-2013, 08:25 AM
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Originally Posted by Kindeyes View Post
.

Nope. By not changing your number......you are giving her the opportunity to win over and over and over again.

I "reconnected" with my XAH a couple of years ago trying to present a united front for our addicted son. Started out ok but within two months it turned into serial texts from XAH regurgitating our divorce and marriage (from 30 years ago!!!) spewing a lifetime of his venom and resentment. It was sad and very very sick. My phone sounded like a winning slot machine from all the dinging from these serial texts. I'd had the same cell number for a very long time (10+ years). It ticked me off but I changed the number after three days of that nonsense. Problem solved. If a winner has to be declared.....I won......because I had peace. I controlled what was within my power to control.

Yes. It's a pain in the butt to change a number that you've had for a long time but doing so makes it impossible for her to contact you ever ever ever again.

gentle hugs
ke
You're right, of course. I can't argue with any of this.
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Old 08-26-2013, 08:50 AM
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Nice to know you are still "loved," huh?



ahhhh.

So out Crazy Land and into Z-Man Land . . .

outta school now? Thinking some PhD? PE? R&D? Fun Stuff? High Dollah Stuff?

And all sorts of other helping things -- 12th step work? Turns out for me that is just from showing up to work -- lotta folks out there need help and have no idea where to go. When folks ask about your life -- I tell them just a little of mine, and I see their eyes get teary and say "me, too." I just show them where the Alanon and all the rest is, and they go looking over their shoulder like they met an angel or something.

Big Brothers, IEEE/Mentoring, Even (very fun) Lego (etc) Robotics at the local school -- all want and need you (and me).

You are just having some residual CBS (crazy bytch syndrome). It will pass -- if you let it. Otherwise she will be back bedding you, as a run-a-round on her new hubby.

LET IT PASS. Go do good for you and others.
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Old 08-26-2013, 08:52 AM
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Ok....zoso....here's the rest of the story.....and the not so pleasant part about me.

I do have to admit that I got a bit of a "got ya" moment when I found out (via my son) that XAH continued to send those text messages long after I changed my number. The number was eventually reassigned. The people who got the number had to call him to tell him to knock it off. There was some small victory in that......and there shouldn't be......but it's the truth.

gentle hugs
ke
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Old 08-26-2013, 08:57 AM
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Maybe just look at it as another reminder of how grateful you are that you were able to not only walk away, but run away, from her and her "broken ankle." The way I see it- I went no contact with my AXBF for a long time, and I still ran into him in the town we live in. This sent me into another spiral with him that I had to work hard to walk away from again, because quite frankly, I have to learn things the hard way.

I believe that whether you ran into her on the street or she called you, that you already have your mind made up about your decision and nothing she does really matters one way or another. She is like a child throwing a temper tantrum and hoping you will notice or do something.

Personally, I don't think it matters what you do with your phone number really. She will continue to try to get to you new phone number or not. Maybe threaten an RO or harassment charge or even better- just do nothing. It's so boring and predictable when they act like this, isn't it?

Hope all is well with you!
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Old 08-26-2013, 09:30 AM
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Originally Posted by Kindeyes View Post
Ok....zoso....here's the rest of the story.....and the not so pleasant part about me.

I do have to admit that I got a bit of a "got ya" moment when I found out (via my son) that XAH continued to send those text messages long after I changed my number. The number was eventually reassigned. The people who got the number had to call him to tell him to knock it off. There was some small victory in that......and there shouldn't be......but it's the truth.

gentle hugs
ke
I can appreciate that, KE. There's a small part of me that would enjoy any excuse to unleash the police on her for harrassment. But that would mean staying coupled to a sick person, and I want no part of that.

It turns out Verizon has a service where you can permanently block numbers, so I'm going to explore that.

All I want is a life completely, 100% removed from my AXGF. Not 99.9%, not 99.999%, 100%.
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Old 08-26-2013, 09:35 AM
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Originally Posted by Hammer View Post
Nice to know you are still "loved," huh?



ahhhh.

So out Crazy Land and into Z-Man Land . . .

outta school now? Thinking some PhD? PE? R&D? Fun Stuff? High Dollah Stuff?

And all sorts of other helping things -- 12th step work? Turns out for me that is just from showing up to work -- lotta folks out there need help and have no idea where to go. When folks ask about your life -- I tell them just a little of mine, and I see their eyes get teary and say "me, too." I just show them where the Alanon and all the rest is, and they go looking over their shoulder like they met an angel or something.

Big Brothers, IEEE/Mentoring, Even (very fun) Lego (etc) Robotics at the local school -- all want and need you (and me).

You are just having some residual CBS (crazy bytch syndrome). It will pass -- if you let it. Otherwise she will be back bedding you, as a run-a-round on her new hubby.

LET IT PASS. Go do good for you and others.
Hey...right now, I'm staying away from school. Which is weird, because this the first fall semester in quite some time that I'm not enrolled in anything. In some ways, it's nice, and it other ways I miss it....

ZoSo
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Old 08-26-2013, 12:52 PM
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Hey Zoso....Verizon has a service for a fee. It's $4.99 a month and you can block unlimited numbers. You can block up to 5 for 90 days at a time for free. ( I think you already knew this)....

I don't think I could resist a response such as "your ankle isn't the only thing broken"...but I know, I know....someone has to take the high road and it's typically us!!
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Old 08-26-2013, 06:37 PM
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With Sprint, you can block indefinitely for no extra charge. The number does not get unblocked until you go in and manually go it.
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Old 08-26-2013, 06:43 PM
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No need to change phone number, look up the app MrNumber it is free. You can block her from calling and texting you and chose the option to have it hang up on her or send to voicemail.
You can also set MrNumber to send all Blocked Calls to VM.
I just love that app
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Old 08-26-2013, 10:34 PM
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I would change the number, because if I remember correctly - she sometimes calls/texts from new numbers herself. I wouldn't think it is worth it to become annoyed and waste time thinking about her. That is what gives her power; the feelings that arise in you, the time you spend thinking about the situation...
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Old 08-27-2013, 12:43 AM
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Zoso,

You don't have to change your # again. Just don't respond. That way they don't
know if their message is getting traction or just disappearing into the ether. She's
chumming and looking for (any) response. Give her a SNR (signal/noise ratio) of zero.

I KNOW you won't bite.
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Old 08-27-2013, 10:17 AM
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Originally Posted by Vale View Post
Zoso,

You don't have to change your # again. Just don't respond. That way they don't
know if their message is getting traction or just disappearing into the ether. She's
chumming and looking for (any) response. Give her a SNR (signal/noise ratio) of zero.

I KNOW you won't bite.
Hi, Vale...I'll never bite.

I guess what I resent is my darling AXGF's feels she's entitled to annoy me after all the crap she's pulled. She's the one that cheated, she's the one that relished telling me that when we broke up, but she still wants to mess with me. How sick is that.

I just want to be left alone.

ZoSo
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Old 08-27-2013, 10:37 AM
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Originally Posted by Kindeyes View Post
The number was eventually reassigned. The people who got the number had to call him to tell him to knock it off.
This gives me an idea. You could pretend like you switched your number and somebody new had your number. Get a friend to call her from your phone and tell her it's their new number and to stop calling/texting them. It might be a little deceitful on your part, but it would probably get her to stop contacting you without you having to change the number.
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Old 08-27-2013, 10:38 AM
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She just knows she threw away a good thing to say the least. That's all this is. The girl that cried wolf. So let her cry and don't respond in any way. Either way, that pesky little resentment is still there more importantly. You can handle this and sure it will only help you move forward. I know whatever you should do is somewhere in the gentle suggestions you have also given me. I appreciate your pragmatic approach and have applied it many times. Just don't forget about your heart. Goodnight from the other side of the world- BnB
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