My oldest AD stopped by yesterday...
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
My oldest AD stopped by yesterday...
I've been taking care of her almost 16 year old dog for close to 4 years now, and she's not doing well at all.
My last two dogs were cremated and are in beautiful wooden urns on my piano. I wanted to be able to do the same for sweet Raven when her time comes, but I do not have the money.
I have fed this dog, bought her heart medications every month, paid the vet bills, and made sure she had warm pajamas in the colder months because of her congestive heart failure.
Needless to say there will be no money for cremation, but it was worth a shot. She did ask if she could come to see her yesterday and I said that was okay. She had the grandkids with her (they are with her on weekends), so I got to love on them a while.
I kept an eye on her like a hawk. I don't trust her. Raven (her dog) couldn't care less whether she stops by or not. She doesn't even wag her tail anymore when AD stops by because this has been her home for so long now, and she knows she is loved here.
AD's stay was short, which was fine with me. She wasted no time in acquiring another dog after I had taken Raven in, another one she's drug all over Timbuktu and back. It just saddens me because she did not learn that kind of pet care from me.
When I got Raven from her this last time, she was underweight, coughing, no appetite, flea-ridden, bald in spots from flea-allergy dermatitis, and her coat was dull.
I'm just glad I was able to provide a loving and stable home for the old gal as long as I have. I will have to call AD when the time comes because I can't bury her here (I rent) and she does have some church friends who bought a house out in the country where she can be laid to rest.
I am angry that she can't find the money to have her cremated after all the care I've provided for Raven, but I have to remind myself we're talking about an active addict.
My last two dogs were cremated and are in beautiful wooden urns on my piano. I wanted to be able to do the same for sweet Raven when her time comes, but I do not have the money.
I have fed this dog, bought her heart medications every month, paid the vet bills, and made sure she had warm pajamas in the colder months because of her congestive heart failure.
Needless to say there will be no money for cremation, but it was worth a shot. She did ask if she could come to see her yesterday and I said that was okay. She had the grandkids with her (they are with her on weekends), so I got to love on them a while.
I kept an eye on her like a hawk. I don't trust her. Raven (her dog) couldn't care less whether she stops by or not. She doesn't even wag her tail anymore when AD stops by because this has been her home for so long now, and she knows she is loved here.
AD's stay was short, which was fine with me. She wasted no time in acquiring another dog after I had taken Raven in, another one she's drug all over Timbuktu and back. It just saddens me because she did not learn that kind of pet care from me.
When I got Raven from her this last time, she was underweight, coughing, no appetite, flea-ridden, bald in spots from flea-allergy dermatitis, and her coat was dull.
I'm just glad I was able to provide a loving and stable home for the old gal as long as I have. I will have to call AD when the time comes because I can't bury her here (I rent) and she does have some church friends who bought a house out in the country where she can be laid to rest.
I am angry that she can't find the money to have her cremated after all the care I've provided for Raven, but I have to remind myself we're talking about an active addict.
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 1,906
Dang Freedom, I'm so sorry about all of this. Thank you for providing Raven such a loving life. I told you about my dog Callie. We buried her up @ my parents house right beside my parents dog Wrinkles (they were buds). Callie and Wrinkles both have crosses. Know that when her time comes that you gave her a great life with lots of love. Given Raven an extra hug from me.
You've said it to me many times, you cannot reason with an addict. I'm sorry you're dealing with this in your AD.
You've said it to me many times, you cannot reason with an addict. I'm sorry you're dealing with this in your AD.
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Flint MI
Posts: 4,455
Freedom I have worked with the humaine society for so long it is sick............everyonce in a great while you may find a tenderhearted person..............ask them if when her time comes if they wouldn't mind creamating her for you.........sometimes they will especially for your situation I dont know what county you are in or I would have my old boss make a phone call for me, good luck and Best of health!
Pamm
Pamm
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Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: To the North
Posts: 1,086
Ahhh Freedom. Raven is so lucky to have found her way to you. It breaks my heart, because I know what you want to do, I know you will accept what you can do, but that doesn't make it OK. (((hugs))) to you and Raven.
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
(((DeVon)))
I'm sorry you can't have Raven cremated, but I'm so glad you were able to give her all the love she deserves while she's alive.
It's sad that your oldest AD is still so wrapped up in herself. Unfortunately, I was the same way when I was using. That's part of the reason I am so devoted to my cats now. I can't change the past, but I can certainly make sure I don't repeat it.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
I'm sorry you can't have Raven cremated, but I'm so glad you were able to give her all the love she deserves while she's alive.
It's sad that your oldest AD is still so wrapped up in herself. Unfortunately, I was the same way when I was using. That's part of the reason I am so devoted to my cats now. I can't change the past, but I can certainly make sure I don't repeat it.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
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Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Hackettstown, NJ
Posts: 692
when I did my 4th and 8th step, all the ways I treated my pets so poorly in active addiction came up. I can't believe the stuff I did that I should not have done, and the stuff I should have done that I did not do when it came to these innocent creatures. all I can say is I was caught in the grip and my best intentions went noplace as long as the drugs came first (which they always did). Sad that I insisted on always having a pet, when I was so incapable of caring for one.
So now, as part of my 9th step (in addition to caring for my current "recovery pets" as well as can be) I give money to the ASPCA & The Humane Society several times each year.
My own AD has a big pit pull in a tiny little apartment that she shares with her BF. I have no idea what sort of care the poor dog gets. Well at least she's home a lot since she does nothing, and her BF buys her most of her drugs. (I was working or out partying pretty much all the time when i had my "using pets" so a lot of my abuse came in the form of severe neglect.)
So now, as part of my 9th step (in addition to caring for my current "recovery pets" as well as can be) I give money to the ASPCA & The Humane Society several times each year.
My own AD has a big pit pull in a tiny little apartment that she shares with her BF. I have no idea what sort of care the poor dog gets. Well at least she's home a lot since she does nothing, and her BF buys her most of her drugs. (I was working or out partying pretty much all the time when i had my "using pets" so a lot of my abuse came in the form of severe neglect.)
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Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Denver, Colorado
Posts: 45
DeVon-
I'm sorry you have to go through this. I would be so lost in the world if it weren't for my boxer, Clyde. When the world falls apart I still have his smelly face to snuggle.
If my parents had taken in my ill dog for an extended amount of time, I would feel that the VERY least I could do is figure out a way to cover the cremation expense. The guilt alone would kill me.
But like you said, she's an active addict. All logic goes out the windows. I've been told that it's hard for the addict but harder for their loved ones. Always confused and feeling helpless. So true.
Hugs to you and Raven
Maelynn
I'm sorry you have to go through this. I would be so lost in the world if it weren't for my boxer, Clyde. When the world falls apart I still have his smelly face to snuggle.
If my parents had taken in my ill dog for an extended amount of time, I would feel that the VERY least I could do is figure out a way to cover the cremation expense. The guilt alone would kill me.
But like you said, she's an active addict. All logic goes out the windows. I've been told that it's hard for the addict but harder for their loved ones. Always confused and feeling helpless. So true.
Hugs to you and Raven
Maelynn
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: In a good place
Posts: 4,482
Can you ask the vet if they know of any way to humanely put down Raven on an extremely limited budget?
When my stepmother was released from the hospital, she came home to my dad's dog becoming incapacitated. She was broke and in tears, it just broke my heart. I knew my dad would have wanted Lady to be put down humanely because she gave so much joy to them. I called around and found a vet who worked with me on the financial stuff, it was a huge discount and over a 50% reduction. It took me hours on the phone and a lot of begging, pleading, but I know my dad was happy on the Other Side.
Hugs to you, DeVon.
When my stepmother was released from the hospital, she came home to my dad's dog becoming incapacitated. She was broke and in tears, it just broke my heart. I knew my dad would have wanted Lady to be put down humanely because she gave so much joy to them. I called around and found a vet who worked with me on the financial stuff, it was a huge discount and over a 50% reduction. It took me hours on the phone and a lot of begging, pleading, but I know my dad was happy on the Other Side.
Hugs to you, DeVon.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
Originally Posted by Chino 
Can you ask the vet if they know of any way to humanely put down Raven on an extremely limited budget?
When my stepmother was released from the hospital, she came home to my dad's dog becoming incapacitated. She was broke and in tears, it just broke my heart. I knew my dad would have wanted Lady to be put down humanely because she gave so much joy to them. I called around and found a vet who worked with me on the financial stuff, it was a huge discount and over a 50% reduction. It took me hours on the phone and a lot of begging, pleading, but I know my dad was happy on the Other Side.
When my stepmother was released from the hospital, she came home to my dad's dog becoming incapacitated. She was broke and in tears, it just broke my heart. I knew my dad would have wanted Lady to be put down humanely because she gave so much joy to them. I called around and found a vet who worked with me on the financial stuff, it was a huge discount and over a 50% reduction. It took me hours on the phone and a lot of begging, pleading, but I know my dad was happy on the Other Side.
The problem is I live in a small town, and the nearest place for cremation is through the Kansas Humane Society in Wichita, and I just can't afford that. They offer wonderful services, but it's $120 for the cremation and urn. I'm still paying off the vet bill from when Miss Bug was so ill and hospitalized for 5 days.
I'm just going to have to resign myself to the fact that she will be buried and I won't have her ashes here at home.
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Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 10,944
Oh, DeVon. I'm so sorry to hear about this. That dog has been blessed to have you and you have been blessed, too.
I wish I had some advice on how you could manage the cremation, but I don't. Just sending you hugs!
HG
I wish I had some advice on how you could manage the cremation, but I don't. Just sending you hugs!
HG
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