SistersHelp

My sister was back in the hospital again today. She claims it was because she fell and hurt her neck (yeah, right). She also asked my niece how school was today... niece had to point out that today is Sunday... sister followed that by asking if niece's Christmas break is over yet... niece had to tell her it was over a week ago and that they'd already talked about it at the visit the other day. Sigh... my sister's brain has a LOT of burn holes in it.

Impurrfect

I also hope this is all being very carefully documented.

Is it just me,or does it seem that when things aren't going her way, she ends up in the hospital pretty frequently..more and more since the supervision started and your niece no longer enjoys her company.

I'm sorry your sister is still being such a drama queen, but I'm glad the supervisor is standing up for your niece.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

Seren

Yowza....you could really write a pretty good novel by now. I'm sorry that your niece is going through so much with her mom. I'm glad she can see a counseler to help her and that she has the support of two wonderful, stable people--you and your husband!

All my best!
HG

winnie12

I too find it interesting that last week your neice confronts her mom and now mom has a medical problem. she is such a cliche

SistersHelp

I'm wondering about that too. She didn't used to get taken to the hospital at all (six months ago) but maybe that was because she was just living with her daughter who was too scared to call 911 when her mother was passed out.

Now she's living with Hairy Scary and Hairy Scary's Mommy so maybe they're a little more quick to do something when they find her unconscious on the floor? Also I have no idea how many times she's been hospitalized that I haven't heard about it. It's quite the drama.

The first time we heard her mother was in the hospital my niece was very upset, tearful, scared. This time she said, "Uh huh. Okay bye."

NeedingHelp7

Sister....What kind of hospital is she in?

I swear when I read the story of your sister, it's like reading about my AH, identical. It truly gets monotonous. AH had numerous hospital stays, he would call them needing med adjustments. At the time I just thought, boy they sure have his meds all messed up. He's acting funny today, can't walk straight, ya know. Well later (in all my naiveity) I learned he was probably abusing them. But what I did with AH the last time he relapsed and cheated and ended in the psy hospital is I told him if he relapsed and cheated again and ended up in that place, I wouldn't come and see him. He hasn't been in a psy hospital since, that was 2005. But soon after, physical ailments (some caused by drug abuse) caused him some hospital stays. Med time was always the highlight of the day for him. He always doted on the attention he would get from being ill. And me being the caregiver I am loved taking care of him. It's very difficult and very draining when addiction is involved also. I was commander and chief telling the nurses and dr's "don't give him this med, don't give him that med. Those are bad for him, he's an NA!!!" The minute I would leave he would get his drugs. And round and round it went. I don't try to save him anymore.

I'm so thankful your neice is learning now so young, what took me years. God Bless her.

SistersHelp

Thanks so much NH.

I don't know what kind of hospital my sister went to. I don't believe she's telling the truth about why she's there in the first place so I don't bother asking her for any details. (Actually I'm not talking to her at ALL right now. I need a BREAK from her.) She just told her daughter she was there and I didn't comment at all. Just added a note to my little book.

My niece refused to call her tonight, and strangely enough, my sister didn't call here either. So maybe she's still in the hospital. Maybe she's passed out. Maybe she's dead. I have no idea.

And right now I'm not too alarmed about the possibilities. It takes too much energy to live hanging off the edge of a cliff all the time.

NeedingHelp7

I had a dream once, I believe it was last year, AH was driving, I and 2 of my children were passengers, and in this dream he drove us over a cliff. I told my lawyers secretary 3 months ago he was going to try to drive us over the edge, and I also reminded her of my dream too! During this time I think I almost drove his secretary over the edge too.
I'm tellin' ya, it's so hard, but you have to go "no contact" with these kind, or you will go over the edge. The peace is priceless.

Today was the end of Family Court I hope forever, no more temp orders, this one a set order. AH has the same 7 1/2 hrs visitation a wk, kept son in my custody. And an added blessing, AH isn't allowed to take son to his girlfriends during visits.

SistersHelp

I couldn't agree with you more, NH. I feel like I've reclaimed a big chunk of my sanity by taking this break from my sister. It was absolutely necessary. Maybe now that twitch in my eye will let up?


HOORAY FOR THE GOOD GUYS! Yay, I love a happy ending. Congratulations on things working out so well for you. Now don't be surprised if your son, at some point in the future, doesn't want to go for these visits anymore.

NeedingHelp7

Amen Sister!!!!!

Yeah..... goes to show there are some in this world.

Blessings and may you get more R&R.

SistersHelp

There a guy in my grade twelve Drama class who I've had my eye on for awhile. I've been trying to figure him out. He's not rude to me or anything, not exactly... he just doesn't seem happy to be there. He misses too much school and when he's there he just looks tired and annoyed and distracted. I wasn't sure what to think.

The other day he stopped by my office after class and asked if he could talk to me for a minute. I said sure. He came in and said, "I just wanted to tell you something in case you have the wrong idea about me. I don't hate your class or anything. It's just stuff at home that's on my mind."

I pushed out a chair for him to sit down because I felt like he wanted to say more about that; I wasn't sure if he'd take it but he did. Then he said, "I have an older brother. He's 21 and he lives with us. He's an alcoholic and he keeps getting kicked out of rehab. My parents don't know what to do with him and I'm totally stuck between them because I love him but he's wrong about everything. You know what I mean? Like, absolutely EVERYTHING."

Then he sighed and said, "I don't want to lay all this on you. My parents think I should talk to someone about this, but I don't want to."

I said, "Seems like you just did."

He smiled. Ahah! The boy *does* smile. And it's the sweetest smile.

So I broke one of those teacher-y rules they give you in university and I told him a little bit about the life I'm living right now. Not all the Hairy Scary details, but I told him my sister is an addict too, and that I have her daughter, and that I remember being his age (seventeen) and living at home with her and my parents and feeling the same way.

Sweet kid.

He talked more about how he's not going to talk to anyone about this stuff and I told him I wouldn't either if he'd promise to come back and talk to me about not talking about it again some time soon. He said yes.

Impurrfect

That is awesome, that he came to you!! I think, somehow, we sense other people that we can talk to about this stuff, sometimes. Of course, it could also just be that you're the kind of person kids feel they can open up to, trust, and talk to, which is really an honor!!

When I got my car insurance changed over, I had told my agent about my history, since I had 2 cars reported stolen and one totaled within 6 months with that same company and I wanted her to know why, and that I was no longer living that lifestyle. Anyway, when I went back, a month later, to sign the paperwork, she wanted to talk to me. Her son was addicted to meth.

What was really cool, was the info I was able to share with her, was the things I'd learned from all the people on this forum, and a little from my POV as an addict. What she needed to hear, was what a mom of an addict needs to hear. Well, I have no personal experience, but boy, do I have a lot of friends, here, that do!

I don't know about you, but when something I've gone through can help someone else going through it, it gives me the warm fuzzy feelings I'm so glad this boy found you, and I really don't think it was any coincidence!

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

Seren

Do you think the kid has access to a computer?? You see where I'm going with this....!

Even if he can't talk to someone face to face, it might really help him to "type it out".

So glad you were able to help him.

HG

winnie12

Its amazing how life puts us with people that we need and who need us. I believe less and less in coincidence the longer i live. Addiction touches so many lives but its still something we feel is a taboo subject so we miss so many opportunities to help ourselves and others.

My daughter deals with the same feelings with her brother and i know she has found a lot of comfort talking with some of her teachers and school counselor. They were all so discreet about it and it was wonderful for her to have someone outside of me to talk to. From a parent's standpoint I want to thank you for reaching out to this boy and giving him a safe place to talk when he needs it. Just knowing that if he needs to talk he has someone is a huge gift you have given him.

NeedingHelp7

What an amazing way to get your answer. And and a wonderful way to show him he's not alone. It took a lot of courage for him to open up and talk about it, and it's especially special because he did it with you....of all people!!! This truly brought tears to my eyes. You just never know what your Higher Power has for you each day....He's full of surprises.

I wonder if it's breaking a teacher-y rule to give him alanon, or better yet alateen (if in your area) literature, or direct him here to SR. It's so difficult when they are teens with these type of problems because they are not always open to recieve help, and they are crying inside, you just do the best you can to guide them to help.


I second that.

SistersHelp

I talked to my sister today. Not sure why I bothered to pick up the phone except that I wanted to tell her myself rather than have her daughter tell her what times the visit would be tomorrow.

She said she's got a placement in a treatment facility and that she's going on Sunday or Monday. She also says the reason she wants to contest my niece going to visit her grandparents in AZ in the spring is that she fears they will try to keep her there! She thinks they're kidnappers now!!! Sometimes it's hard not to kill my sister. Seriously.

I stayed calm this time (even though inwardly I was imagining punching her in the teeth). And told her we'd talk about it later. She told me she's phoned all the airlines to warn them about a potential abduction of her child so if this is true I am concerned that we may have some trouble at the border if she's rung the alarm bell like that. Gawd... she's so awful.

Anyway, that's all the news... same old nonsense.

We're going to pick up the "Views of the Child" report tomorrow from the psychologist and hear his opinions about what needs to happen next. I'm really interested to hear his opinions.

Freedom1990

I think coincidence is just a really long way to spell God.

NeedingHelp7

She is really far gone Sister!!!

I thought the husband was going to be answering her calls so you can get some peace.....

SistersHelp

Yeah, she's completely off her nut. The thing that makes it so hard is that she sounds like a sane person when you first meet her. Quirky, to be sure, but sane. Intelligent too. Then you get to know her and realize she's bat-*&^%-cuckoo but by then she's already taken you for a ride.

Me too! I did so well for just over a week, and then today I fell asleep on the couch after work (got a touch of the 'flu) and the phone rang, waking me up, and I saw her number and thought to myself that I wanted to tell her about the visit tomorrow (so niece wouldn't have to debate with her whether it was long enough)... and I didn't stop to think about other ways to get that information to her without exposing myself to her toxic self.

After I woke up fully I realized I'd have been better off not to talk to her, but by then my ear was already in her mouth. Hee!

She told me that she wanted to discuss her new program in more detail tomorrow. (She says she wants me to do family counselling with her so we can both come to accept our respective contributions to the problem at hand... and if I didn't already deserve a smack for picking up in the first place, I definitely would have deserved a cookie for not rising to that bait.) Anyway. I told her she could leave any further information on the answering machine. My resolve is back in place.


Bring on Round 2 of Plan Boycott Sister.

Impurrfect

I am just amazed at some of the things she comes up with. I shouldn't be, by now, but I am. I've lost track of how many treatment facilities she's been in, but let's see how long she lasts at THIS one! I guess that's wrong to say, but she does seem to find fault with them all or manage to get kicked out. We can always pray that it works this time?

Here's to round 2!!!

Hugs and prayers!

Amy