rayofsunshine

I remember how a thread titled this helped me so much when I first got here.
(Thanks, Loves!) It's not meant to bash the addicts, but to help the ones who
love them know they are not crazy, that the things/lies their A tell them are part
of what an addict does while in active addiction. Humor is a great release in recovery.

I'll start with a few from my AH... please add your own.:ghug2

"I'll be back in a few minutes." (When going to the store for cigarettes. Comes home the next day.)

"I'm short on $, I was holding the $ in my hand earlier and the wind blowed it away. I found it all but $100 bill." (and I believed this and actually went searching where he said he was at at the time, cause that was bill money!)

When I asked why his eyes were bloodshot, his answer would be "I got sawdust in my eyes at work." He was in construction.

" I have a cold " = rationalization for being half dead/ half alive after weekend binge/disappearing act.

MsPINKAcres

How about . . .

I only took a Benadryl

Not everyone can be perfect like you

Those are not my pills (found bottle in his stuff)

geez - I could go on for days!!!

parentrecovers

i'm sorry. and keeps doing it.

lightquest

How can you abandon me?!

I'll go to a meeting. You just call and get the time and place, then remind me.

If you had just (insert yours here)had sex with me I wouldn't have used.

I promise that I will never use again.

If you had been more supportive and celebrated my successes, I would not have used.

I love you more than anything in the world. You are the sweetest, kindest most caring person I ever met. I need your support to get sober.

Upon setting boundaries...after all of the quacking stops...."I respect you." That's the best one!

rayofsunshine

If you are going to accuse me of USING, I might as well go use.

And recently, from AH in prison:

I need you to love me... if you don't love me I might as well give up.

You're a Christian. You're supposed to support me in my recovery.

nytepassion

I am only living up to your expections of me. You didn't believe in me enough and expected me to use and I used. Its all your fault. You set me up to fail.

cece1960

"Mom, I swear to you..."

"What money?"

"I'll have the money tomorrow."

My absolute favorite line was his reasoning after a DUI:
"Mom, it was a fluke. I usually drive the back roads when I'm drunk"

cinderellawkids

Yeah mine said that yet still relying on others to feed and shelter him, now the excuse is hes depressed and cant function without me.

Let me add a few:
Your selfish, your crazy, you only care about money.

Im a good father I deserve to see my son Im trying here (Meanwhile has no concern about whose supplying food for his son, nor does he call to speak with him)

Im sorry I called at 3 am, but I had a nightmare and had to make sure you were ok.

liesagain

I know what went wrong, what I missed last time

don't worry

no, I promise

and any fancy story on why hes running late only to find.............lies hes using

Lovestoomuch

Yea......that thread went on for like 20 pages or so LOL.

"My stupid boss shorted my paycheck again!"

"I went ahead and paid for a truck load of shell rock for the driveway" (Which btw.....never came because........."The truck was in an accident on the way to our house and was over turned and there's no refund on the money"

"It's not mine"

"I only do $70 a week in drugs" Seems like the number 70 was pretty popular around here at one time LOL

"The devil made me do it."
Oh I have many more. I just need to remember them all......but those were some of the more ridiculous excuses LOL

InAnotherLife

I'm quittting when....
October comes
before christmas
since you are pregnant
When the baby's born
when I get a my new job
after this one time
after I move out of my parents house
when I get back to work etc etc. I learned to stop asking... he's moved out, baby was born, got his job, went back to work, october and xmas came more then once, and yet, he was at it last I know of two weeks ago. Whatever.

"I love you, please don't leave me"

"Why can't I see my kid when and where I want, I'm not a sex offender" (Ummm ok, sure why don't you pick her up without a licence and drive her around the city for a while).
"You are using the baby" (For WHAT? he can't tell me)

"I lost my.... (whatever he happened to sell)"

"I owe $$$ can you bring it"

"I was robbed" (like 6 times in 2 years whatever)

"Can you come get me" (after he'd blown every last cent)

nytepassion

Can you lend me x amount of dollars I PROMISE I WILL PAY YOU BACK

GoodKarma

He was arrested and put in jail for having a suspended drivers license.
He said "They made a mistake. I'll be getting my license back next week."

After standing me up for two dates because he was somewhere getting high.
He said "what's the matter, don't you love me anymore?"

Lovestoomuch

"I don't understand why I can't have both the loves of my life" .......referring to me and crack!

Oh......and he swore to God A LOT!

"I swear to God I'll never mess up again"
"I swear to God I'll just sign my paychecks over to you from now on."
"I swear to God I didn't do anything over so and so's house."

"Why don't you trust me?" Haaaaaaaaaaahahahaha.....idiot!
"Cigarettes are a drug and you smoke them."
"I can quit any time I want to."

Ahhhhhhh........it's all coming back to me now.......lol

cinderellawkids

Hey I got those too, and then I just made a mistake.
Ill fix everything

and even better, I dont have a problem I only smoke crack when Im living with you--(Ok buddy then Im bad for you stay away)

Im cured, I dont have a drug problem anymore

One more I promise, "How will you ever know if you dont give me this one last chance..."

Spiritual Seeker

"Everything is under control, don't worry" "I have a plan"
"I don't know what happened to the car"
"I'll call you right back" "I don't need rehab"

1963comet

It's Tuesday, looks like rain, I fell off my bike when I was a kid, my mom was mean, it's Wed. ect.

I have lived on both sides of that track. My stepdad said that he did not need an excuse to drink. Glad he was honest about that. So, I learned early on that trying to make excuses was crazy.

cantfindaname

Wow I guess this was the right place to come. I've heard so many of those remarks from my husband time and time again and never thought about them being part of his using. I tried to deny for over a year he had a substance problem, another year constantly fighting for him to get help and another year slowly seeing the same things happening. Now, reading all of these I see how blind I let myself be during the times I thought he was clean.

cece

You're Paranoid!

You're %$#@ crazy!

somebody stole my wallet.

I lost my cell phone. . . again. ( you can sell these easily)

Can i borrow ( whcih means have). . .


Do you have $10 for bus fare, haircut, underwear, etc. (anything normal that might get me to think its not for cigs, or ?)

havehope

OMG I love this and want to play.

Mom, can I have $20 for:
flowers for a sick friend
birthday dinner for friend
a traffic ticket
you get the idea! lol

If you loved me you would believe me
I have ony done this one time
I can stop any time I want to
Why are you doubting me?
Well, you drink wine . . .