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Iím as bad as he is

Old 07-14-2019, 03:33 PM
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Iím as bad as he is

So in prep for getting out of here, vomit boy is starting to feel the effects of withdrawal. He wants soda, he wants to reconcile, will I drive him to get beer....and he canít find his keys. His car keys are safe away. I have to protect myself and property. So he asks me if I have them and I lied. I told him I donít know where they are. He said if you have them just tell me, letting me keep searching is just cruel if you have them. So I lied AND Iím cruel. If I had spoken truthfully, god knows there would have been a huge problem. As it is Iím keeping away and quiet in prep for tomorrow getaway. So, Iím as bad as him. I lied to protect myself instead of an addiction. I have got a lot of work to do on myself.
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Old 07-14-2019, 03:37 PM
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It occurs to me Iím very self protective. Not a good place to be if one wishes to be married...just a thought.
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Old 07-14-2019, 03:45 PM
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You lied to protect the world from a drunk driver. Thatís okay.

You lied to protect yourself from a massive argument with a drunk guy who wants alcohol at any cost. I think thatís okay, too.

Can you just leave?
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Old 07-14-2019, 03:47 PM
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Originally Posted by Ariesagain View Post
You lied to protect the world from a drunk driver. Thatís okay.

You lied to protect yourself from a massive argument with a drunk guy who wants alcohol at any cost. I think thatís okay, too.

Can you just leave?
right now I have no place to go. Iíve already spent so much money on hotels. Iím quietly away from him right now with the door closed. Heís quiet as well. I have plans to leave tomorrow morning.
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Old 07-14-2019, 08:26 PM
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Originally Posted by Dazedandconfus View Post

right now I have no place to go. Iíve already spent so much money on hotels. Iím quietly away from him right now with the door closed. Heís quiet as well. I have plans to leave tomorrow morning.
Good for you. I've been in situations where I'm sharing a house with someone I can't be around. Man oh man is it tough. I've spent lots of time at coffee shops and libraries.

May tomorrow come quick!
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Old 07-15-2019, 10:39 AM
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Thinking of you and hoping you are doing well today!
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Old 07-15-2019, 11:07 AM
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Originally Posted by hopeful4 View Post
Thinking of you and hoping you are doing well today!
I am well and safe. Itís cool where I am. AH was organizing his entry into rehab and treatment. Iím going to have a good long sleep and stay detached. He wants to reconcile, its too late for me. I donít ever want to feel this way again. Im going thru with the divorce. Words cannot express my gratitude to you all for your kind support and virtual friendship.
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Old 07-15-2019, 11:15 AM
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I am so very glad you are safe and well! I hope for his own sake that he gets into recovery, but I absolutely understand how you feel. My XAH was willing to do anything when I told him we were splitting. Of course, it never would have lasted. I was in the same boat. I did not ever want to go through that again, and refuse to put myself at that risk again, ever.

You have the right to focus on YOU!!!

I think you are very brave to do what you are doing, and to come here and share. You certainly do not ever have to thank me. SR is a place of great support. I know it got me through some of my darkest days.

Sending huge hugs!
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Old 07-15-2019, 11:28 AM
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Originally Posted by hopeful4 View Post
I am so very glad you are safe and well! I hope for his own sake that he gets into recovery, but I absolutely understand how you feel. My XAH was willing to do anything when I told him we were splitting. Of course, it never would have lasted. I was in the same boat. I did not ever want to go through that again, and refuse to put myself at that risk again, ever.

You have the right to focus on YOU!!!

I think you are very brave to do what you are doing, and to come here and share. You certainly do not ever have to thank me. SR is a place of great support. I know it got me through some of my darkest days.

Sending huge hugs!
thank you. Yes, I can not do this again, and I donít want the risk either. I too hope he can recover for his own self, but Iíve seen this before and it will not last. I just need it to last 6 months ....then Iím totally free of it.
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Old 07-15-2019, 11:32 AM
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Originally Posted by Dazedandconfus View Post

thank you. Yes, I can not do this again, and I donít want the risk either. I too hope he can recover for his own self, but Iíve seen this before and it will not last. I just need it to last 6 months ....then Iím totally free of it.
What happens in six months?

Did he sign the papers? IIRC if he ignored them you could have an uncontested divorce in 30 days?
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Old 07-15-2019, 11:47 AM
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Yes, default divorce in 30 days. But we have a 6 month waiting period until itís final.
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