I am so very glad you are safe and well! I hope for his own sake that he gets into recovery, but I absolutely understand how you feel. My XAH was willing to do anything when I told him we were splitting. Of course, it never would have lasted. I was in the same boat. I did not ever want to go through that again, and refuse to put myself at that risk again, ever.
You have the right to focus on YOU!!!
I think you are very brave to do what you are doing, and to come here and share. You certainly do not ever have to thank me. SR is a place of great support. I know it got me through some of my darkest days.
Sending huge hugs!