Pathwaytofree

I've always been supportive of my local library. :-) I guess I hadn't thought of it this time, because with recovery-based books, I like to own the really good ones so I can refer back to them.

Thank you! This is a great idea! Sometimes I find used books for sale locally, but I hadn't thought to check online.

honeypig

I am the same way, and I use my library to "pre-screen" for which ones I want to buy and which ones aren't speaking to me as much.

I had just been using Amazon as a source for used books, but then FireSprite let me know about Thrift. I stumbled across Abe on my own, and I have been really happy in my doings with both so far. It's great to know I can check a book out of my library, read it, think "I'm going to want to read this again, I KNOW it!" and then pick it up for a couple of bucks from one of the above sources.

When I was more active in Alanon, I would fairly often hear newbies at meetings say they were interested in the Alanon literature, but it was too pricey for them (not hard to imagine, right, b/c we all know the havoc an active A can wreak on household finances, and the books were NOT inexpensive...). I'd often refer them to Amazon for used materials (that was the only source I knew of at the time) to save easily half or more of the price of a new book. I bought all of my Alanon books there, and I liked the idea of someone having used it before me. One or two even had little notes in them, and that made me feel even more like I was NOT alone in this.

AutumnMama

I just started listening to the Daring Greatly audiobook at work. Thanks for the recommendations!

Pathwaytofree

Honeypig I bought one of the ACOA books used on amazon. I will be sure to check out Thrift and Abe for any other recovery books. Thanks to you and FS!

AutumnMama I'm glad this thread is helping others!!

Pathwaytofree

I'm assuming Wayne Dyer and Eckhart Tolle wouldn't fall under the sort of books I'm looking for right now, yes?

FireSprite

I think that depends on you - those are great additions for me, totally. Also a fan of Bruce Lipton (his stuff is all over YouTube - I prefer to listen that way) & Deepak Chopra.

It's less "traditional" but fits perfectly into my mindset, spirituality and recovery.

ETA - I found The Shack to be monumental for me in terms of understanding forgiveness. I loved the storytelling of it, which also made it easy for DD to digest.

honeypig

Pathway, I have found help and inspiration in all sorts of places, often completely unlooked-for. It's almost like once you've tuned your "inner radio" to recovery, you start receiving signals from EVERYWHERE.

If anyone here mentions a book they found useful, I add the name to my list and then check my library for it. If I start reading it and it doesn't speak to me, I just return it and move on to the next one. And maybe a week or a month or a year or 5 down the road, it WILL speak to me. Or maybe never. I just started listening to a CD from Pema Chodron, and THIS time it is touching me. I've tried her a few times in the past and that has not been the case--I wasn't then at a place where I was ready or able to learn what she's talking about, I guess.

But I just don't think you can go wrong by reading/listening to ANYTHING that seems like it might be helpful. Just remember that you can always put it down or turn it off if it seems it's not for you, or not right now.

Surfbee

Thanks to this thread I'm now reading Daring Greatly... 👌

I also recommend Women who Run with Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola. Phenomenal book.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B01N7YOGAD/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1#aw-udpv3-customer-reviews_feature_div

FireSprite

I was coming back to add Pema Chodron, lol!

This was recommended to me by my acupuncturist & I completely forgot until I read your post.


For all you Brene fans, I've been listening to this older interview she did shortly after Daring Greatly was released. It's a great way to listen to a lot of the principles in the book for anyone that wants a different kind of refresher or doesn't have immediate access to the book or whatevs.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kAk4cwjvJ0A&t=1659s

pdm22

Peter Michaelson’s books are pretty good (Phantom of the Psyche; Freedom From Self Sabotage..). He’s a psychotherapist, and his style is to really dig deep into the inner workings of the mind, for anyone who likes that sort of thing. I’ve read quite a few of his books and found them to be very interesting. His website is
whywesuffer.com.

FireSprite

A fun, easy read is "Who Moved My Cheese". It's about 100 pages & illustrates the importance of being able to recognize the need for change & have the ability to go with it when it happens. It's detachment, on some level, in my interpretation.

It's used a lot in business but it's another of those "life" books for me. They make a teen version for kids (the story itself is the same but the intro/background is more relatable) and there's a cartoon version of it on youtube that DD watched when she originally read it since she was really young at the time. (be warned - the quality is not great)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Txy6DwbwZ9g

We also have this .pdf posted in our kitchen as a reminder:
Who Moved My Cheese @ Mind Map Art

Pathwaytofree

Thanks for everyone's posts! I've added a bunch of books to my reading list. :-)

I had also tried to read Pema Chodron's book "When Things Fall Apart" years ago but couldn't get into it. I'll try again.

"Women who run with the wolves" was recommended to me by my first sponsor years ago. I'll look to get that out of the library.

I found it interesting no one recommended a positive psychology type book. A previous therapist of mine called positive psychology a bunch of hog wash. I was curious what others thought. I read some stuff about positive psychology and to me it sounded interesting. But Deepak Chopra had a short video on his facebook page today that said instead of trying to think of positive thoughts, do meditation to clear the mind.

Maybe this is a subject for another thread. But I was just curious if anyone read any positive psychology books and what their opinions were.

dandylion

Why don't you consider "Daring Greatly" positive psychology?

I have seen several books that are recommended in this thread that I would consider to be positive psychology...….

FireSprite

I agree dandy, and while I can't say that I've read anything that specifically falls under this heading I CAN say that I've used positive thinking a LOT in my recovery.

While Lipton's work is based in science, it actually ends up proving that environment rules over genetics.... meaning, that what we believe in our core self is what we experience/manifest. Which means creating a positive, nurturing environment for ourselves is the only way to bring our healthiest self forward.

It might be the #1 tool I've used in all honesty, because it permeates so many areas of my life:

I changed my passwords to be positive-thought focused so that 100x per day, I'm forced to think "happy thoughts", even just for a second.

My vision board is literally a physical representation of the positive things I want to manifest in my life - it hangs on my bedroom wall.

I write in a positive word journal daily - not journaling thoughts, only positive words.

I've used SO MANY mantras ("I am enough", "I am worthy of love", "I am lovable"), mirror-work, feng shui, quantum theory.

https://www.collective-evolution.com...re-of-reality/

I've spent equal time studying gratitude & appreciation (& the difference between them) as I have the more negative sides like abandonment, fear, scarcity, etc.

However, I'm not going to argue that meditation isn't equally useful. Once I finally committed to doing it & not playing around with it, I started to recognize that it was helping in ways I hadn't expected - patience, detachment, etc. It helped me create space internally for the positive stuff to take root. I find it funny that it was Deepak's advice though - so many of his meditations hinge on using positive-focused Sanskrit mantras.

https://chopra.com/articles/7-mantra...-life-you-want

Pathwaytofree

I'm sorry. Forget I said it. I like positive psychology. I'm just a bit hurt at the moment by a friend who is in the positive psychology profession. Her professional opinion is that depression is the person's fault. I really didn't appreciate that.

I agree with everything FireSprite said to help with a positive mindset. I need to do more of that.

Brene Brown is science-based. Not that I only read books based on science for my personal growth, because I don't.

FireSprite

Is she? I hear her say she's "research based" - her theories are developed from what came forward in the data & while that's science/logic at work in compiling the info, very little of her findings can be labelled as "science" in my perception.

She deals with shame, vulnerability, blame, scarcity, creativity, etc. What appealed to me most about her books is that when she discovered what the data showed, it forced her to take a hard, internal look & she let it sit for 2 years while she examined what it showed her about herself. (because her findings didn't line up with her expectations) When she speaks, she shares examples from her Real Life & that made her relatable to me in a lot of ways. Not only the examples themselves, but her willingness to put her vulnerability out there at all.

I think we're finding in today's world that the line between science & spirit is getting thinner & there is a lot more crossover in belief systems than ever before.

I agree - your friend's opinion is hurtful & not helpful at all. It sounds like she's so invested in her path that she can't accept anything outside of what she knows. She takes it personal. That's not cool. Maybe she could benefit from reading the Four Agreements too, lol.

dandylion

The following is a definition of "positive psychology".....

https://positivepsychologyprogram.co...gy-definition/

FireSprite

In perfect synchronicity, I just checked my email & got the reminder for an online summit through the Sounds True organization & many of the speakers have been discussed here in this thread.

These types of things are great for me - I register for free, decide which ones I want to make time for & consider everything beyond that a bonus.



https://www.soundstrue.com/store/wak...d+Online+Event

Starting on September 24, you can join us for this 10-day event to grow your capacity and skill to contribute to the healing of our world, including:


• Eve Ensler reveals what it takes to launch a successful movement
• Van Jones explores how to collaborate with people who have very different views
• Glennon Doyle shares her guidance for restoring our energy and hope
• Eckhart Tolle helps us act from the still point of Presence
• Joanna Macy, PhD, turns us towards our broken-heartedness to mobilize action
• Marianne Williamson shows us that we can bring love and decency into politics
• Prince Ea encourages us to be balanced and free in an uncertain world
• Clarissa Pinkola Estés, PhD, calls upon us to preserve our "heritage seeds"
•Compelling presentations from Caroline Myss, Jon Kabat-Zinn, Jack Kornfield, Parker Palmer, Jill Bolte-Taylor, Tara Brach, LaDonna Brave Bull Allard, and many more

Pathwaytofree

That is so cool, FireSprite!! I have seen numerous ads for Sounds True on facebook. I will check this out.

I just signed up for a free yoga workshop via facebook about finding which form of yoga is best for you.

Here's the link:
Hey! Just thought I'd share this powerful "How To Find The Right Yoga Practice For You" Masterclass with you. Click on the link to learn more and sign up: http://go.mindvalley.com/yoga-invite

Pathwaytofree

Hmm. I guess for me I equate "research" (proper research) with "science". But I understand what you're saying.

I notice that, too.

That's a helpful way of viewing it. Thank you for pointing that out. It is sort of strange because she seems to have blinders on regarding the positive psychology vs anything else. LOL I am curious now if she's read The Four Agreements! xoxo Honestly it floored me to hear a therapist say that depression is a person's own fault. To me that's no better than telling someone with bulimia to just not binge and purge.