I Challenge You To... 100 Happy Days. Can you do it? Part 2
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 500
Day 70 - Got my DD's car fixed just in time for her to return to her job YaY!
Day 71 - Have a lovely little nest of bunnies in my raised garden beds they are so little, I also have no squash, peppers, to tomatoes any more but its a small price to pay for a little bundle of joy.
Day 72 - Therapy today and I needed it to get some perspective. Its funny how I thought I had peaked with the drama happening in my life but seems like its gonna last for a little while longer. Good news is, I see it for what it is and am much better at not engaging in it.
Day 73 - Nice relaxing day got a ton of stuff done and checked off the list, even organized the crap drawer!
Day 74 - Met another person who is gonna take care of some things that need fixing, showed up on time in the rain. I would call that a win!
Day 71 - Have a lovely little nest of bunnies in my raised garden beds they are so little, I also have no squash, peppers, to tomatoes any more but its a small price to pay for a little bundle of joy.
Day 72 - Therapy today and I needed it to get some perspective. Its funny how I thought I had peaked with the drama happening in my life but seems like its gonna last for a little while longer. Good news is, I see it for what it is and am much better at not engaging in it.
Day 73 - Nice relaxing day got a ton of stuff done and checked off the list, even organized the crap drawer!
Day 74 - Met another person who is gonna take care of some things that need fixing, showed up on time in the rain. I would call that a win!
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 6,784
Woohoo - I got my new/used car on the road yesterday afternoon!
Also happy to be getting over feeling like absolute trash all week.
Just in time - DD & I leave very early tomorrow for her Big Adventure & I was getting nervous about traveling.
Also happy to be getting over feeling like absolute trash all week.
Just in time - DD & I leave very early tomorrow for her Big Adventure & I was getting nervous about traveling.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 6,784
Last night I pulled a book from my reading shelf to pack for my trip. I bought it used a while back at a thrift sale; it's an autobiography of sorts by my favorite author, Tom Robbins.
I never opened it until now so I nearly fell over when I saw that it was a signed first edition. Not massively valuable except to someone like me, lol. Best is that it's signed "to" a character from my absolute favorite book by him (Jitterbug Perfume) - "To Bingo Pajamas, Tom Robbins." I'm sure it was part of a marketing blitz when the book released but i can't help marvel at how it ended up in my hands!
I never opened it until now so I nearly fell over when I saw that it was a signed first edition. Not massively valuable except to someone like me, lol. Best is that it's signed "to" a character from my absolute favorite book by him (Jitterbug Perfume) - "To Bingo Pajamas, Tom Robbins." I'm sure it was part of a marketing blitz when the book released but i can't help marvel at how it ended up in my hands!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
I kind of fell off the wagon here, took a couple days off of work, went to visit my mom and help her out w/a few things, and then just relaxed at home--AAAAAHHH!
Delighted for a beautiful, cool night w/the wind in the northeast so it touched my big wind chimes (https://www.chimes.com/p-356-encore-...ne-bronze.aspx go to "Listen to Me!" right under "Wish List" to hear the sound). The moon is waxing, due to be full in a few more nights, and I could see her shining through the branches of the horse chestnut tree, surrounded by wisps of silver cloud. The fireflies were flashing further out in the yard, and it was just heartbreakingly beautiful...
I am so, so fortunate to live where I do.
Delighted for a beautiful, cool night w/the wind in the northeast so it touched my big wind chimes (https://www.chimes.com/p-356-encore-...ne-bronze.aspx go to "Listen to Me!" right under "Wish List" to hear the sound). The moon is waxing, due to be full in a few more nights, and I could see her shining through the branches of the horse chestnut tree, surrounded by wisps of silver cloud. The fireflies were flashing further out in the yard, and it was just heartbreakingly beautiful...
I am so, so fortunate to live where I do.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 500
Day75 - still standing, had dinner with people who love me
Day 76 - Enjoyed my kiddos today watched a scary movie and had dinner together they started to cheer me up
Day 77 - went to a concert with my daughter, we danced non stop for 3 hours straight alot of fun and sad as she leaves for college in a couple of months
Day 78- recovered from concert and just did nothing
Day 79- called my sister to hear a friendly voice who tells me what I need to hear, still in my pjs not gonna lie. Just gonna honor myself and my sadness today and try again tomorrow
Day 76 - Enjoyed my kiddos today watched a scary movie and had dinner together they started to cheer me up
Day 77 - went to a concert with my daughter, we danced non stop for 3 hours straight alot of fun and sad as she leaves for college in a couple of months
Day 78- recovered from concert and just did nothing
Day 79- called my sister to hear a friendly voice who tells me what I need to hear, still in my pjs not gonna lie. Just gonna honor myself and my sadness today and try again tomorrow
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
Grateful to be home and done w/work for the day. There is a pleasant cool breeze and rain in the forecast for later in the day. Looking forward to a walk w/the dogs, a quick grocery shop and a stop at the hardware store, then home again to relax.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 1,618
I just posted a woe-is-me thread, so I am going to try to balance it with some appreciation:
I have been mentoring two junior colleagues/interns this past year, and they are both doing really well. One has a book contract and a full-time job in his field starting in July, both connected to his internship, and the other just landed a full-time job. In our field it's really, really difficult to get hired into a permanent position, so I'm happy I could contribute to launching these two younger people's careers.
I have been mentoring two junior colleagues/interns this past year, and they are both doing really well. One has a book contract and a full-time job in his field starting in July, both connected to his internship, and the other just landed a full-time job. In our field it's really, really difficult to get hired into a permanent position, so I'm happy I could contribute to launching these two younger people's careers.
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 6,784
I'm back from leaving DD at college & I am at a sincere loss of words for this opportunity she's been gifted.
I knew ahead of the weekend that this was a Big Deal, don't get me wrong.... we've had nothing but gratitude every step of the way.
But the magnitude of it all just could not be understood until I was immersed in it & saw & heard it first-hand. (3 days of 12-14 hours filled with info & stories of those that have gone through this program already)
The most validating moment was when the intense parenting sessions parroted everything I already know from Brene Brown's work & other resources including things like the gut-brain connection & how it affects these kids ----- DD came out of the student session & was like, "MOM! We're doing it right!!!" My heart nearly exploded with pride & joy that she was present enough in all that I've guided her through to recognize it to be the same guidance being given to her by one of the nation's leading voices in pediatric development at an Ivy League college. Yasssssssss!!!!!!!
(Although, I felt deeply for those parents encountering some of these difficult principles for the 1st time & struggling with the negative feelings that come from thinking we've screwed our kids up out of our deep love to protect them.)
I've wept in appreciation & outright awe no less than a dozen times over these last few days (& I was far from the only one).
It's not just going to change the trajectory of HER life, but the entire FAMILY. I'm so overwhelmed.
I knew ahead of the weekend that this was a Big Deal, don't get me wrong.... we've had nothing but gratitude every step of the way.
But the magnitude of it all just could not be understood until I was immersed in it & saw & heard it first-hand. (3 days of 12-14 hours filled with info & stories of those that have gone through this program already)
The most validating moment was when the intense parenting sessions parroted everything I already know from Brene Brown's work & other resources including things like the gut-brain connection & how it affects these kids ----- DD came out of the student session & was like, "MOM! We're doing it right!!!" My heart nearly exploded with pride & joy that she was present enough in all that I've guided her through to recognize it to be the same guidance being given to her by one of the nation's leading voices in pediatric development at an Ivy League college. Yasssssssss!!!!!!!
(Although, I felt deeply for those parents encountering some of these difficult principles for the 1st time & struggling with the negative feelings that come from thinking we've screwed our kids up out of our deep love to protect them.)
I've wept in appreciation & outright awe no less than a dozen times over these last few days (& I was far from the only one).
It's not just going to change the trajectory of HER life, but the entire FAMILY. I'm so overwhelmed.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 1,618
FireSprite, do you have book recommendations about the gut-brain connection and child development? I've heard of Brene Brown but I've always kinda dismissed her as an Oprah celebrity - sort of like Dr Oz. But maybe I'm missing something!
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 6,784
Of course!
If you're dismissing Brene's entire body of work, you're doing both you & your DD a disservice, IMO. Her audio "The Gifts of Imperfect Parenting" was fantastic, especially because it's more of a lecture. So was her audio series, "The Power of Vulnerability" - those 6 cd's fast-tracked me in my own recovery & "Daring Greatly" really resonated because it also deals with her research in relation to the business world. Our session contained tons of info I can trace directly to her research - shame, vulnerability, connection, perfectionism, creativity, comparison, etc. DD & I both have copies of her Parenting Manifesto & I shared it with another dozen parents following our session together: (pdf link)
https://brenebrown.com/wp-content/up...light-8x10.pdf
I eventually went back & read all of her books (or listened on audio) and some of the info repeats because it sort of strings together to form a long chain... but those 3 would be my go-to's.
A lot of what he referenced was stuff I've picked up from all KINDS of sources -
* "The 4 Agreements" (DD is reading this over the summer but we have the agreements themselves posted on our kitchen cabinets)
* "Who Moved My Cheese" (I had DD read this at age 8)
* "Perfect Daughters" was monumental for understanding how girls are affected differently when the addict in their life is their mom vs dad. So while I didn't find the entire book relevant, I highly valued the parts that were. (this book was also super important in dealing with my own FOO issues)
* Some good gut-brain info was in this thread:
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...instincts.html (Listening to our gut instincts)
* I'm a fan of Bruce Lipton's work, which deals with our overall biology even beyond the gut-brain - "The Biology of Belief"
* "Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom" by Christiane Northrup - it's my girl-bible.
* Possibly most important, from Kenneth Ginsburg - "Raising Kids to Thrive" & "Building Resilience in Children & Teens"...... his work synthesizes data from all different researchers into one resource so that's why I would consider it a top-read. His bio:
https://www.amazon.com/default/e/B00...KindleDbs=true
I'll warn you straight-up that this is another one of those "can't pour from an empty cup" things - we were warned about that in-session repeatedly & it was the part that many others had the hardest time with...
You CANNOT teach your children what you don't have/value/give yourself.
Full Stop.
That's REALLY the hard part, IMO.
If you're dismissing Brene's entire body of work, you're doing both you & your DD a disservice, IMO. Her audio "The Gifts of Imperfect Parenting" was fantastic, especially because it's more of a lecture. So was her audio series, "The Power of Vulnerability" - those 6 cd's fast-tracked me in my own recovery & "Daring Greatly" really resonated because it also deals with her research in relation to the business world. Our session contained tons of info I can trace directly to her research - shame, vulnerability, connection, perfectionism, creativity, comparison, etc. DD & I both have copies of her Parenting Manifesto & I shared it with another dozen parents following our session together: (pdf link)
https://brenebrown.com/wp-content/up...light-8x10.pdf
I eventually went back & read all of her books (or listened on audio) and some of the info repeats because it sort of strings together to form a long chain... but those 3 would be my go-to's.
A lot of what he referenced was stuff I've picked up from all KINDS of sources -
* "The 4 Agreements" (DD is reading this over the summer but we have the agreements themselves posted on our kitchen cabinets)
* "Who Moved My Cheese" (I had DD read this at age 8)
* "Perfect Daughters" was monumental for understanding how girls are affected differently when the addict in their life is their mom vs dad. So while I didn't find the entire book relevant, I highly valued the parts that were. (this book was also super important in dealing with my own FOO issues)
* Some good gut-brain info was in this thread:
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...instincts.html (Listening to our gut instincts)
* I'm a fan of Bruce Lipton's work, which deals with our overall biology even beyond the gut-brain - "The Biology of Belief"
* "Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom" by Christiane Northrup - it's my girl-bible.
* Possibly most important, from Kenneth Ginsburg - "Raising Kids to Thrive" & "Building Resilience in Children & Teens"...... his work synthesizes data from all different researchers into one resource so that's why I would consider it a top-read. His bio:
https://www.amazon.com/default/e/B00...KindleDbs=true
I'll warn you straight-up that this is another one of those "can't pour from an empty cup" things - we were warned about that in-session repeatedly & it was the part that many others had the hardest time with...
You CANNOT teach your children what you don't have/value/give yourself.
Full Stop.
That's REALLY the hard part, IMO.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 6,784
Soooo..... today's surprise blew me away.
First thing this morning my Bestie texted me & proposed some new beach ideas because we talked last night about going a bunch while DD is away - mornings, walks, evenings, music, dinners - all of it.
Then on my way to work, a favorite client called to say she'd been up north visiting family & got really sick & while she's OK, they have this timeshare booked at my favorite local beach & just don't have the energy to use it since they aren't even close to 100% yet..... would I like to have it?
It starts Saturday, for an entire week, through the 4th of July. All paid except for maybe a $5 daily parking fee.
I TOLD you all I needed way more beach time this summer!!!
First thing this morning my Bestie texted me & proposed some new beach ideas because we talked last night about going a bunch while DD is away - mornings, walks, evenings, music, dinners - all of it.
Then on my way to work, a favorite client called to say she'd been up north visiting family & got really sick & while she's OK, they have this timeshare booked at my favorite local beach & just don't have the energy to use it since they aren't even close to 100% yet..... would I like to have it?
It starts Saturday, for an entire week, through the 4th of July. All paid except for maybe a $5 daily parking fee.
I TOLD you all I needed way more beach time this summer!!!
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