Ituvia

I got a call from XABF last night and asked me to take him to rehab today and I went and dropped him off at the rehab. Signed forms and whatnot. They told him it's for 30 days but may extend, he didn't really care. He didn't inform work or anything. He told me he doesn't care about his job or anything else right now and that he just wants the pain to end. Whatever the pain is, I don't know. I don't know what to feel now, he was crying and telling everyone he f*cked his life up.

Ladybird579

Why did you take him to rehab? I thought you were going NC after the latest slip up. His pain, whatever it is, is not your concern. He's in rehab now so let them sort him out and you concentrate on yourself.

Ituvia

He had to leave his car at my apartment complex and he said, "I don't trust anyone else right now ". I know all that's bull c*ap, I just dropped him off and said take care and came back.

atalose

I don't know what to feel now,

Are you feeling important to him?

Are you feeling like you matter to him?

Are you feeling optimistic for a future with him now that he is in rehab?

firebolt

That's your sickness. You let his goings on influence how you feel in your life, about YOUR life. We've all done it.

Hun - he's never let your feelings influence what he was doing about his life....and if hes serious about rehab, he still won't.

and I hope you do the same - turn all focus back to you, what YOU want, and what makes you happy...independent of him, his problems, and his feelings.

One day, I hope your posts here are all about you - because that's who has become important to you.

dandylion

Ituvia...I know that you want him to receive the help that he, obviously, needs. Of course.
You have taken him to the water (so to speak).....
Now, it is his job t drink it.... His task...his job...his journey...his side of the street....

Your job is the same...on your side of the street....

You know what is said..."Two sickies don't make one wellie"......

Now, you have some space to return your energy to Ituvia..(yea).....

AnvilheadII

anyone care to take bets on how many days he'll last in rehab?

look, i really hope that something clicks for him in treatment. but more so i hope that something clicks for you while he is there. he could have taken himself to rehab. but he involved you. now conveniently has HIS car at YOUR place. i assume you have the keys. which means you are now fully back on the hook.

hoping the best for both of you.

hopeful4

Why is it he could not simply take his car to the rehab? Most have parking. I am positive there is somewhere else he could have parked his car.

I hope you listen to Dandylion's kind, and true, words.

Cyranoak

...and I wish you and him great success with your recoveries.

tomsteve

hhhmmmm... he "e doesn't care about his job or anything else right now and that he just wants the pain to end."""


hhhmmmm, he doesnt care about anything....but doesnt trust anyone so has to leave his car at your apt. complex.

hhhmmmm...

im a wee bit tired tonight and cant think the best( like i can when im well rested )
but something sure dont seem right there. seems a little future manipulation or something

Ituvia

I think so too. Future manipulation that is. It was a weak moment

SparkleKitty

Well. Now you know. I hope you realize you deserve much better than this, both from him and from yourself.

Ituvia

I am so embarrassed and in the meantime, furious. How can you talk about someone you loved and lived with for five years this way? And is this the alcohol or could it be that this is who he is?

SparkleKitty

Don't try to separate him into two people. This is who is he is. Maybe someday he will be different, take responsibility, and make amends. Rather than waste time and energy trying to unpack and understand it, can you just accept it and move on?

Ituvia

I have accepted and if there is one thing that's clear, it's that I can't forget what he has said to his friends. Forgive? yes. Forget? No.

Ituvia

Hi folks have basically washed their hands off and I signed him into rehab so they basically need my sign to release him. I also have to make monthly payments and whatnot. They said it's for 30 days to him but told me it's going to be at least 2 months.

SparkleKitty

If it's possible to call the rehab and absolve yourself of all responsibility for his ins and outs, I recommend it. You don't need this hanging over you for the next one to two months or whenever he decides he's had enough. He's an adult. The rehab can hold his personal belongings for him.

Ituvia

I should've done that. His brother and his folks are in denial about his whole issue. Unbelievable considering his brother is a doctor :/

atalose

I think there is a part of you that NEEDS to blame all of his bad, disrespectful, hurtful, uncaring behavior on the alcohol because the truth is even more painful for you to bare.

This is what you have wanted for months and months to bring him to rehab, to get him fixed and to be part of it all and now your “hope” is coming true. So the big question now for you is will you see this all the way through or are you finally seeing through it all?

tomsteve

yes, it WAS a weak moment. you have no reason to feel embarrassed.
so, i think the best thing to do is throw out the ass kikin machine. it aint a good solution. youre not a bad person, just a sick one and beatin yourself up aint part of the solution.
one part of the solution,imo, would be to wash your hands of HIS problems. it seems taking the previous suggestion of callin the rehab and find out how to free yourself from any responsability for him being there would be a good 1st step.
AFTER throwing out the ass kikin machine.