Ariesagain

Excellent. Sweet dreams...you deserve them.

OT4Kids

Only a little sleep and now time to get kids to school then head to work. I want to stay home but can't risk taking more time off of work right now. But it is gonna be hard to work. I have to put on my happy face and take care of others all day.

Jaeger

OT- I for one am glad you had your kids last night and couldn't rush to the hospital. You seem to be getting stronger each time. No one can do this but you. I'm praying you find the strength to leave this man soon.

I think he is a dangerous man and that he is fully aware of what he is doing to you. I worry about your mental and physical health while with him.

honeypig

You have been "putting on your happy face and taking care of" your A for HOW long now? And you seem to have no problems showing up for that thankless job, time and time again. In fact, you are willing to put pretty much everything else aside in order to do it--your paying job, your children, your belongings, your own health and sanity.

If you can work that hard for someone who gives you nothing but pain, exhaustion and heartache, going to your job where at least you get paid and likely get a little appreciation for your efforts should be a snap.

Make the right choice. How is this time going to turn out different than the last 589, 302 times? YOU get to say!

LexieCat

Glad you got some rest. He's in good hands--leave him alone. According to the cops this was a typical alcohol-fueled accident. Alcoholics do all kinds of stupid stuff. Thankfully no one else was hurt (other than you).

Do NOT let him back into your home, no matter what sob story he gives you. He has USED YOU for the last time, I hope. He may very well claim this was his "wake-up call"--don't buy it. Every time he comes back he is full of promises and you wind up back in this same place.

Hugs, the work will probably be a good distraction. And nothing wrong with putting on a happy face. Sometimes when I do that, it actually does lift my mood.

Jaeger

OT,
I have an idea, go through this thread and the other and write down 1. his reasons for leaving each time and 2. the empty promises and excuses he gives each time he returns. Maybe you will see each time it is the same ole song and dance. When he tries to come back this time, read those lists!

hopeful4

Well, it sounds like he was in good hands. The hospital and police can take care of him with absolutely no involvement from you.

Jobs can be an excellent distraction if you let them. I would let the police know you don't want any further phone calls regarding him, that you are no longer involved. That will stop that.

LET THIS GO, and give yourself some much needed peace.

honeypig

Absolutely. Gives you something else to focus on, gives you opportunities to feel good about what you've accomplished, gives you structure, gives you interaction w/other people, gives you a change of scenery.

Again, absolutely. Simply say "I am not responsible for him. Please do not contact me again regarding him." Or don't even answer the phone. Nothing says you have to...

OT4Kids

It has been a long day. Even though I wanted to go to the hospital i went to work, fed my kids, and we went to my son's chorus and band concert. My kids just left to sleep at my ex husbands which leaves me alone and increases my anxiety.

I don5 know it I already wrote this but the first time I called the hospital today they told me what room he was in and connected me to it but no one answered. When I called back later, they first said he wasn't there. When I said I called earlier and knew what unit and room he was in they said it was confidential. I asked them what if it was a family member who called and they said they still couldn't give the info. I asked what if I go there can I see him.and they said no. I asked well then how can I check on him and his condition. And share information wiith thr dr. And th3y said i cant

SparkleKitty

Take it as a blessing, OT.

LexieCat

Maybe he asked the hospital not to give out any info. His right to do that.

I'd stop calling, stop checking. I'm glad the universe stepped in and prevented you from getting back into this.

Hope you get some good rest tonight. Everything's OK.

Ariesagain

What SK said. For whatever reason, the Universe blocked you from getting sucked back into the nightmare again. Take it as the gift that it is and let it lie.

PuzzledHeart

Do you call to make the anxiety go away? There are other ways to do that, you just haven't figured it out yet.

Do you think anxiety is love?

hearthealth

HIPPA is a big thing. The person who gave out the information first violated that rule. Health care providers can release information only to the patient unless the patient signs a release of information. It's ok to step back and allow him to handle his life.

OT4Kids

He called me last night briefly after he got to the hospital and told me he was hurt and he was at the hospital but couldn't talk. Said he would call today. I have a friend who is a police dispatcher who said since he is under arrest security might be extra tight. Also, if he was under the influence which is highly likely, and he had something illegal in his system or said he was suicidal or if the police passed on to the hospital the info about the endangered missing report I had filed on him he could have been put on a psych/behavioral health or drug /alcohol tx unit and not able to access phone. ( i had very little access to a phone when I got sent to the behavioral health hospital for 2 days). I dunno. I guess I shouldn't be thinking about it this hard.

It is just surreal. This situation. And this is the longest he has ever been gone.

Thank you all for your input and support.

PuzzledHeart

OK, OT4Kids. I have a very off-topic post that is not about your ex. I suspect that you may appreciate it because you have kids.

You know I'm recovering from surgery right? My son has had rash on his arm and it's been there for a couple days. My husband took him to Urgent Care this afternoon. They both came home, and my son comes running up the stairs to my bedroom.

"Guess what Mom! I have strep! No school tomorrow for me!"

And he does a happy dance on my bed and gets his grimy strep-infested hands all over wall. Then he bounces downstairs and he reenacts a football play in our living room.

You bet your life I pulled out the Lysol! After, of course, reminding him to wash his hands.

I did not know that you did not have to have a sore throat and fever to have strep. I know now.

Ariesagain

So...how did he get a call through to you?

LexieCat

I dunno, it doesn't seem particularly surreal given all the other crap he's done. Just more of the same. You do NOT need this kind of trouble. Be done, please, please, be done.

OT4Kids

Oh no Puzzled Heart! Yeah, I have friends whose kids have had strep and no sore throat. And it seems to be making the rounds. I hope he recovers quickly and that no one else in your family gets it!

AnvilheadII

It is just surreal.

really???? after all you have been thru with this guy's disappearing acts, the calls to the cops, missing person reports, car tows, detox, thousands of dollars wasted......you are still surprised by any of this??? it's time to connect the dots......