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AW Did it this time

Old 07-16-2016, 04:21 PM
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AW Did it this time

Youngest daughters wedding is today. So what does aw decide to. Get drunk this morning. Daughter kicked her out of the wedding but I doubt that will straighten her out.
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Old 07-16-2016, 04:24 PM
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I am so sorry Hayfmr, this is something you can never forget.

Sending hugs my friend!!
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Old 07-16-2016, 04:31 PM
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So sad for your daughter. Unfortunately for the AW you didn't cause it, you can't control it, you can cure it.
I would highly recommend going to ALANON to start your healing
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Old 07-16-2016, 04:31 PM
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Just wanted to say that I am so sorry that this happened on someone elses best day, or memories.

I do hope that you stayed and she got sent home in a cab.

This also happened at my nephews wedding. They both left.

So sorry!!!!!!!!!!!

((((((((((hugs))))))))))))
amy
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Old 07-16-2016, 04:39 PM
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I took her home and came back. She is not even in any pictures.
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Old 07-16-2016, 04:49 PM
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i am so sorry that on a day that should be a joyous celebration for your daughter and you, the AW had to act out and try and make it all about her.........how embarrassing for everyone.

nothing changes...............right? unless something changes?
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Old 07-16-2016, 05:03 PM
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'a positive genius for getting tight right before an important engagement must be kept'

'The alcoholic is not like normal people, and never will be.'
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Old 07-16-2016, 05:18 PM
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I hope your daughter was able to enjoy this most precious day. I'm sorry for the rift between mother and daughter due to Mom's drinking, but those are the consequences of her decision to drink
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Old 07-16-2016, 06:24 PM
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I am so sorry this had to happen on such an important day for your daughter. How awful for everyone. My heart goes out to all of you.

I hate this disease and what it does to families.
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Old 07-17-2016, 12:56 AM
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Wedding turned out very nice.

AW has really blown it with this one. Our daughters want nothing to do with her anymore. The big D is going to be very expensive but I want out. When the booze bottle is more important than family things are pretty bad.
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Old 07-17-2016, 03:52 AM
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Sorry to read what happened. Unfortunately big events like weddings seem to be key acting out times for As.
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Old 07-17-2016, 03:54 AM
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H,
It looks like you joined back in 2010. Us codies are very patient people.

You understand that this disease is progressive. Get out before it gets any worse.

Sending hugs my friend!!
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Old 07-17-2016, 04:10 AM
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Wow. It may be expensive to divorce, but peace and freedom are worth every last penny.

Money can be replaced, your time cannot.

I'm glad the day was not ruined by her.
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Old 07-17-2016, 04:55 AM
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Our marriage could have ended in
disaster too as I was the one who
wanted to party all night into the
morning before the wedding to be
held at 11am June 12, 1982 many
yrs ago.

However, with help from relatives
I sobered up enough still holding on
to an unsettling hangover to make it
down the isle.

Yrs later as I looked at wedding pictures,
I saw the Sun shining brightly over the
cross hanging above us as we exchanged
vows, for better or worse, in sickness and
in health till death due us part.

In our 25 yr, marriage, we had 2 beautiful,
smart, talented, caring children, I entered
recovery via a family intervention at about
7 yrs married, relocated to Houston and
all that life thru at us during that time.

I listened, learned, absorbed and applied
an effective program of recovery and held
on to dear life thru my ever changing life
for 25 yrs till I returned to my home town
of Baton Rouge in 2006, separated and
divorced and remarried with a strong,
healthy, happy, honest life built up this
amazing recovery program foundation
I learned many one days sober ago.

With willingness and openmindeness
I did the footwork in life and recovery
to achieve many wonderful gifts in
life and recovery to appreciate, be
grateful and thankful for as I never
close the door to my past but look
forward to what life offers me in the
future.

There are many recovery programs
available to all those affected by
those suffering from addiction to
help heal and grow and live productive
healthy lives moving forward in life.

Seek and you shall find Serenity to
accept the things you can not change
Courage to change the things you can
and the Wisdom to know the difference.
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Old 07-17-2016, 06:43 AM
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Trust me, however "nice" the wedding turned out, your daughter will remember how mom screwed up her happy day.

I'm sorry it happened--sorry for all of you. Your wife has to live with this forever, too. I don't blame you for this being the last straw. Of course, even if you were divorced, things would have played out the same way. I hope you will do what you have to do.

Hugs,
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Old 07-17-2016, 06:46 AM
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For me that would be the final straw. I would choose to end the marriage. From past posts it looks like you were planning divorce 6 years ago. What happened?
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Old 07-17-2016, 10:47 AM
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Think there was some lingering concern over finances, wasn't there? Maybe he can make something uncontestable up. Spent enough on 'rehabs', only so much a businessman wants to write off in life.

Seems to me the rehabs continue to lodge their favorite hook into society's mind, that the alcoholic chooses to drink the way he does. Heck, we even believe it. But rehabs are there to make money, their psychobab may work for addicts i dunno, they may work for hard drinkers and potential alcoholics, for awhile, but for the most part they just keep us as sick as possible as long as possible, and make as much money out of us as possible, until we die. I have come to view them as the thieves in the road that rob a man on the way back home to his father's house. But then i'm weird. Alcoholics and their families make the very best of repeat customers.

Maybe when she finds herself locked out of that bedroom, she might be lucky enough to bump into some sober AAs who know what they have and know what they're doing and actuallyget out there in the world and do it. Those guys can lay one mean trap to catch an alcoholic

The book is good but real live examples seem to lodge themselves in our consciousness in a most fundamental, kinda sneaky way?

The alcoholic, for reasons yet obscure, has lost the power of choice in drink, and has placed himself beyond human aid, i'm told.
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Old 07-17-2016, 12:54 PM
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I was planning divorce 6 years ago. Even had the lawyer retained. Then she was diagnosed as bipolar. So I gave her a chance for the meds to work because she claims self medication. Well the meds do work to a point when she takes them. Things were good for a while but its been a steady decline for the last few years. On top of this she is bulimic and smokes cigarettes in hiding. I absolutely hate those filthy stinky things.

I have spent a lifetime building up a business. Giving half of it to a drunk that is going to **** it all away in not going over very well with me. But it looks like I am not going to have a choice.
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Old 07-17-2016, 04:48 PM
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So sorry to hear about this. I hope your daughter still managed to enjoy her wedding, painful as it was that her mother was drinking. A's tend to flake out at the worst times. My AH just relapsed a few days before I had hip surgery and I told him I'd really need his help with basic things around the house and our child. Needless to say I didn't get the help I needed from him. Wishing you the best.
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Old 07-17-2016, 07:40 PM
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Sorry that your wife is such a disturbance and disappointment to you and your kids. We do manage to bring out the very worst in people who aren't sure if they thought very much of us in the first place.

She is very ill. Through the ages, the best efforts have failed with us. Not much you can do. I think if she might ---ENTIRELY on her own without prodding, take any curiosity about AA, well it is working for me and many others who have been quite disturbed ourselves. Once we come to realize there are folks who drank as helplessly as we did, and are free of it and solid, some of us eventually conclude to try their strange medicine. Has she ever been, or seen their book?

never know. Think if the mate brings it up our bristles fly and we get dead set against. But she'd be more than welcome to sneak into one of their meetings...they would LOVE the one about the liquor store on the flat tires...she has no right to keep one like that to herself...

i have no use for the huggy and prayey stuff either, but it is easy enough to evade that kinda crap.

She might even walk away and sign over her shares, never know.

dunno
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