Wonderful boyfriend, but don't expect any promises...
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Western US
Posts: 9,010
Originally Posted by nicegirlwny 
Thank you, that helps. I suppose I'll never be able to understand why...all that work and it doesn't seem to matter. But I'm not an addict, so I'll never know. Last night when he was at the bar, I tried to get him to let me pick him up, bring him home. He chose to drink. A friend said drink is his wife. Maybe that's why there's no room for a partner.
I can't remember if you said you were going to Alanon or not? You might give it a try.
I used to imagine holding my X tight in my hand and than imagined opening my hand and letting him go into the embrace of God.
Please, keep trying to accept that you need to release him to whatever comes the best you can Nicegirl.
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
all that work and it doesn't seem to matter
oh, it matters. any addict with some time under the belt who contemplates a relapse knows damn good and well what the trade off is. but the drink or the drug and the promised oblivion becomes just too enticing.
i was 7.5 years sober when i CHOSE to drink again. after a LOT of thought....months. and in all that thinking i just couldn't find the will to argue FOR sobriety anymore......i wanted the easier, softer way. i wanted a damn drink!
he's in his own hell right now. and you can't go get him. he'll have to find the door.........its right there and wide open. but that could be next week, or next decade. or maybe never. that's the way the GAME plays out.........
oh, it matters. any addict with some time under the belt who contemplates a relapse knows damn good and well what the trade off is. but the drink or the drug and the promised oblivion becomes just too enticing.
i was 7.5 years sober when i CHOSE to drink again. after a LOT of thought....months. and in all that thinking i just couldn't find the will to argue FOR sobriety anymore......i wanted the easier, softer way. i wanted a damn drink!
he's in his own hell right now. and you can't go get him. he'll have to find the door.........its right there and wide open. but that could be next week, or next decade. or maybe never. that's the way the GAME plays out.........
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Western US
Posts: 9,010
Originally Posted by nicegirlwny
This game sucks. )
Glad to hear you found a crack of freedom/fun in this big yuck of a situation. Keep at it Nicegirl.
Each day without contact is a day closer to healing. I used to count days without contact the way sober alcoholics count days since they quit drinking.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Western US
Posts: 9,010
Originally Posted by Hawkeye13
Watch out--drunks are pretty hard to get rid of.
If the texts don't work, as I said earlier, he may start
showing up at your place.
If the texts don't work, as I said earlier, he may start
showing up at your place.
You might want to set up a plan for staying out of the path of that "Nuclear warhead". I hope you won't need the plan but just in case . . . .
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