"Today's Hope"
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
June 27
This is posted from the "Today's Hope" site of Alanon.
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
It is so easy to become preoccupied with what is wrong in your life, while just taking for granted all that is wonderful. Take time today to think about all you have to be grateful for. See the good in life.
DAILY REFLECTION:
Attitudes
The meaning of things lies not in the things themselves but in our attitude towards them.
- Antoine de Saint-Exupery
Before recovery, I used to go through my days judging things as “good” or “bad”. For example, if I fell ill, I saw that as “bad.” When I was recognized and rewarded for a job well done, I saw that as “good.” Then, I would go about doing whatever I could to maximize the “good” events that happened and fix the “bad” events.
I realize now that when I did this, I wasn’t accepting the world as it was. The longer I am in recovery, the less and less I see things as “good” or “bad” but instead see things as the universe conspiring to help me in sometimes unorthodox ways.
These days, when I fall ill, I do not see it as bad but instead see it as the universe telling me I need to take a break and take care of myself. I am grateful for these little reminders from my Higher Power because it reminds me that I am loved and looked after.
Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
It is so easy to become preoccupied with what is wrong in your life, while just taking for granted all that is wonderful. Take time today to think about all you have to be grateful for. See the good in life.
DAILY REFLECTION:
Attitudes
The meaning of things lies not in the things themselves but in our attitude towards them.
- Antoine de Saint-Exupery
Before recovery, I used to go through my days judging things as “good” or “bad”. For example, if I fell ill, I saw that as “bad.” When I was recognized and rewarded for a job well done, I saw that as “good.” Then, I would go about doing whatever I could to maximize the “good” events that happened and fix the “bad” events.
I realize now that when I did this, I wasn’t accepting the world as it was. The longer I am in recovery, the less and less I see things as “good” or “bad” but instead see things as the universe conspiring to help me in sometimes unorthodox ways.
These days, when I fall ill, I do not see it as bad but instead see it as the universe telling me I need to take a break and take care of myself. I am grateful for these little reminders from my Higher Power because it reminds me that I am loved and looked after.
Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
June 28
This is posted from the "Today's Hope" site of Alanon.
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
Sometimes we hold onto anger because it's all we have left.
- Heard in a meeting
DAILY REFLECTION:
What happens to us is not as important as how we respond.
The external events of our lives are largely beyond our control. We do not choose our parents, our emotional environment, the historical period in which we live, our body type, or the flow of circumstances that shape our experience. These are givens. We do not select them, but we can choose how we will react to them, and in that choice lies our freedom and our responsibility.
Instead of complaining about the hand we've been dealt, we can concentrate on playing it well. This is the way we exercise our freedom. What might appear to be random chance can take on meaning and purpose as we delve for insight and use our deficiencies as opportunities for growth.
Our responsibility is to do the best we can with what we have where we are. And we don't do it alone. We have help in learning how best to respond. We have a support group, we have a Higher Power, and we have an inner guide if we will listen for direction.
Today I will remember that the what of my life is not as important as the how.
Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope
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DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
Sometimes we hold onto anger because it's all we have left.
- Heard in a meeting
DAILY REFLECTION:
What happens to us is not as important as how we respond.
The external events of our lives are largely beyond our control. We do not choose our parents, our emotional environment, the historical period in which we live, our body type, or the flow of circumstances that shape our experience. These are givens. We do not select them, but we can choose how we will react to them, and in that choice lies our freedom and our responsibility.
Instead of complaining about the hand we've been dealt, we can concentrate on playing it well. This is the way we exercise our freedom. What might appear to be random chance can take on meaning and purpose as we delve for insight and use our deficiencies as opportunities for growth.
Our responsibility is to do the best we can with what we have where we are. And we don't do it alone. We have help in learning how best to respond. We have a support group, we have a Higher Power, and we have an inner guide if we will listen for direction.
Today I will remember that the what of my life is not as important as the how.
Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
June 29
This is posted from the "Today's Hope" site of Alanon.
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
I can only have peace of mind when I forgive rather than judge.
*- Gerald Jampolsky
DAILY REFLECTION:
Self Focus
We need to learn to live, to focus on something good or useful to our lives and let the rest of the world go about its business.
How Can I Help My Children?
Today, I flipped open a book and saw this quote. I think it was a Higher Power moment. I was feeling deeply resentful and angry about some expectations I had of a loved one. Being very stressed at work and outside work, I expected my loved one to pick up the slack at home so that I can spend more time on self-care, which I hadn’t really been doing at all lately! When I reached out to my loved one for help, my loved one simply said ‘no’ and continued to engage in what I judged a frivolous time-wasting behavior. I felt resentful of my loved one’s free time when I barely had time to take a shower in the morning.
After speaking to a friend in the program and my sponsor, I realized that I was expecting my loved one to do certain things that I felt he must do. But I had been prioritizing a multitude of other things over my self-care and the frustration I felt was because I haven’t been tending to my self-care. *As the quote says, I was, at this point, able to understand how to focus on the good or useful by realizing I need to focus on my own self-care. Once I realized this, I was able to let go of my resentments and focus on doing the next right thing for my serenity.
Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
I can only have peace of mind when I forgive rather than judge.
*- Gerald Jampolsky
DAILY REFLECTION:
Self Focus
We need to learn to live, to focus on something good or useful to our lives and let the rest of the world go about its business.
How Can I Help My Children?
Today, I flipped open a book and saw this quote. I think it was a Higher Power moment. I was feeling deeply resentful and angry about some expectations I had of a loved one. Being very stressed at work and outside work, I expected my loved one to pick up the slack at home so that I can spend more time on self-care, which I hadn’t really been doing at all lately! When I reached out to my loved one for help, my loved one simply said ‘no’ and continued to engage in what I judged a frivolous time-wasting behavior. I felt resentful of my loved one’s free time when I barely had time to take a shower in the morning.
After speaking to a friend in the program and my sponsor, I realized that I was expecting my loved one to do certain things that I felt he must do. But I had been prioritizing a multitude of other things over my self-care and the frustration I felt was because I haven’t been tending to my self-care. *As the quote says, I was, at this point, able to understand how to focus on the good or useful by realizing I need to focus on my own self-care. Once I realized this, I was able to let go of my resentments and focus on doing the next right thing for my serenity.
Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
This is posted from the "Today's Hope" site of Alanon.
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.
- Marilyn Monroe
DAILY REFLECTION:
Calm in the Middle
Sometimes there is a moment when you feel complete... calm and serene. It is a moment of clarity in the middle of the storm you are walking through.
Feel the calm. Enjoy the release. Take that moment and fully explore it.
Breathe deep. Doesn't it feel wonderful to exhale and be relaxed and serene? Feel the release wash over your entire body. Relish the feeling of calm. Allow yourself to sink into the moment of serenity.
Take the time to curl up into a cool, clean bed, to bathe in a warm, soothing tub, to walk through a quiet, green park. Take that moment and rest within it. Find a way to enjoy the calm to its fullest before the storm rises again.
We all walk through storms, unsure when serenity will come to us again. We may wake to constant feelings of fear, anger, resentment, humiliation, and sorrow. We may lose our center, our balance and feel lost.
It is difficult to feel calm as we walk through difficult feelings.
Accept when the calm sneaks up on you. We don't know how long it will last. Enjoy it now for what it is. Know that life will always have struggles, but at times of great stress, we can still take the calm when it comes.
Dear God, help me to accept the calm when it comes. To enjoy the feelings of serenity that my body has long forgotten. Let me breathe deep in the moment and enjoy the power of the calm. Help me to hold the peace of this moment while I am walking through the storm.
Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.
- Marilyn Monroe
DAILY REFLECTION:
Calm in the Middle
Sometimes there is a moment when you feel complete... calm and serene. It is a moment of clarity in the middle of the storm you are walking through.
Feel the calm. Enjoy the release. Take that moment and fully explore it.
Breathe deep. Doesn't it feel wonderful to exhale and be relaxed and serene? Feel the release wash over your entire body. Relish the feeling of calm. Allow yourself to sink into the moment of serenity.
Take the time to curl up into a cool, clean bed, to bathe in a warm, soothing tub, to walk through a quiet, green park. Take that moment and rest within it. Find a way to enjoy the calm to its fullest before the storm rises again.
We all walk through storms, unsure when serenity will come to us again. We may wake to constant feelings of fear, anger, resentment, humiliation, and sorrow. We may lose our center, our balance and feel lost.
It is difficult to feel calm as we walk through difficult feelings.
Accept when the calm sneaks up on you. We don't know how long it will last. Enjoy it now for what it is. Know that life will always have struggles, but at times of great stress, we can still take the calm when it comes.
Dear God, help me to accept the calm when it comes. To enjoy the feelings of serenity that my body has long forgotten. Let me breathe deep in the moment and enjoy the power of the calm. Help me to hold the peace of this moment while I am walking through the storm.
Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Central O-H-I-O
Posts: 1,689
July 1st
(I'm filling in for Honeypig today).
This is posted from the "Today's Hope" site of Alanon.
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
Dear God, Please send to me the spirit of Your peace. Then send, dear Lord, the spirit of peace from me to all the world. Amen.
- Marianne Williamson
DAILY REFLECTION:
Formula for failure; trying to please everyone.
--Anonymous
It has done us no good to set standards we could not reach. On many occasions, we adopted goals that couldn't be reached from the beginning. We allowed our identities to become tied in with pleasing people. If we suffered rejection, we collapsed into a quivering heap. Each time we wrapped ourselves up in a package for someone to pass judgment on, we set ourselves up for failure.
We know we are not God. We must realize no other human being is God, either. We can't ask any person to judge us. We can't judge anyone else. The foundation of our Program is the decision we made in Step Three to turn our wills and lives over to the care of God. This is the formula for success. Try pleasing God, not other people.
I can't build my life and recovery on always trying to please others. My road to success is pleasing my Higher Power
(I'm filling in for Honeypig today).
This is posted from the "Today's Hope" site of Alanon.
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
Dear God, Please send to me the spirit of Your peace. Then send, dear Lord, the spirit of peace from me to all the world. Amen.
- Marianne Williamson
DAILY REFLECTION:
Formula for failure; trying to please everyone.
--Anonymous
It has done us no good to set standards we could not reach. On many occasions, we adopted goals that couldn't be reached from the beginning. We allowed our identities to become tied in with pleasing people. If we suffered rejection, we collapsed into a quivering heap. Each time we wrapped ourselves up in a package for someone to pass judgment on, we set ourselves up for failure.
We know we are not God. We must realize no other human being is God, either. We can't ask any person to judge us. We can't judge anyone else. The foundation of our Program is the decision we made in Step Three to turn our wills and lives over to the care of God. This is the formula for success. Try pleasing God, not other people.
I can't build my life and recovery on always trying to please others. My road to success is pleasing my Higher Power
Member
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
July 2
This is posted from the "Today's Hope" site of Alanon.
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
A happy person is not one with a particular set of circumstances, but rather one with a certain set of attitudes
- Heard in a meeting
DAILY REFLECTION:
Newcomer
I appreciate the fact that you remain friendly and even-tempered even though I don't always follow your advice.
Sponsor
Friends can disagree without having to end their relationship. I might have trouble sponsoring someone who never attends meetings, someone who has frequent relapses, or someone who complains about his or her problems without ever being willing to attempt the Steps. But occasional disagreements are a part of life.
A sponsor's suggestions aren't commands, any more than the Twelve Steps are. As a sponsor, I only make suggestions; even though they're based on my experience, I'm not always right about what will work for another person. And I may misjudge what another person's timetable is. I'm not infallible. I try not to let my ego get in the way, to feel hurt or angry when you need to try something on your own. Learning to make your own decisions is necessary to growth.
Each of us makes his or her own way through the process of recovery. We learn more from our own experiences, good and bad, than from anything we read in a book or hear at a meeting.
Today, I learn from my experience
Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
A happy person is not one with a particular set of circumstances, but rather one with a certain set of attitudes
- Heard in a meeting
DAILY REFLECTION:
Newcomer
I appreciate the fact that you remain friendly and even-tempered even though I don't always follow your advice.
Sponsor
Friends can disagree without having to end their relationship. I might have trouble sponsoring someone who never attends meetings, someone who has frequent relapses, or someone who complains about his or her problems without ever being willing to attempt the Steps. But occasional disagreements are a part of life.
A sponsor's suggestions aren't commands, any more than the Twelve Steps are. As a sponsor, I only make suggestions; even though they're based on my experience, I'm not always right about what will work for another person. And I may misjudge what another person's timetable is. I'm not infallible. I try not to let my ego get in the way, to feel hurt or angry when you need to try something on your own. Learning to make your own decisions is necessary to growth.
Each of us makes his or her own way through the process of recovery. We learn more from our own experiences, good and bad, than from anything we read in a book or hear at a meeting.
Today, I learn from my experience
Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
July 3
This is posted from the "Today's Hope" site of Alanon.
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
Detachment is not caring less, it’s caring more for my own serenity.
- Heard in a meeting
DAILY REFLECTION:
To give and to receive are one in truth.
- A Course in Miracles
Giving our love away, honoring someone in need by giving our full attention, will usually bring kindness and concern in return. And unkindness and neglect on our part are likely to result in the same from others. We will usually elicit that which we've so thoughtfully or thoughtlessly given.
Not many elements in our life are so fully in our control as how we choose to treat other people. There are few among us who aren't moved by another's expression of pure, unconditional love. We are humbled by it and feel valued. We can honor the existence of our fellow travelers by our open, willing love for them too.
We need to feel appreciated. And yet, to express appreciation is such a simple act, one that has profound effects for all concerned. Acts of kindness multiply very quickly; we contribute to a world favoring our true humanity when we give out loving thoughts even as we receive them.
I will extend the hand of love to a friend today and thus help to make a better world.
Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
Detachment is not caring less, it’s caring more for my own serenity.
- Heard in a meeting
DAILY REFLECTION:
To give and to receive are one in truth.
- A Course in Miracles
Giving our love away, honoring someone in need by giving our full attention, will usually bring kindness and concern in return. And unkindness and neglect on our part are likely to result in the same from others. We will usually elicit that which we've so thoughtfully or thoughtlessly given.
Not many elements in our life are so fully in our control as how we choose to treat other people. There are few among us who aren't moved by another's expression of pure, unconditional love. We are humbled by it and feel valued. We can honor the existence of our fellow travelers by our open, willing love for them too.
We need to feel appreciated. And yet, to express appreciation is such a simple act, one that has profound effects for all concerned. Acts of kindness multiply very quickly; we contribute to a world favoring our true humanity when we give out loving thoughts even as we receive them.
I will extend the hand of love to a friend today and thus help to make a better world.
Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
July 4
This is posted from the "Today's Hope" site of Alanon.
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
The magic words for a great relationship are, "I love you just the way you are."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
DAILY REFLECTION:
Why Admitting We're Wrong is Right
Sometimes it's painful or almost impossible to admit that we've been wrong. This means we'll probably go on making the same mistakes until we're finally forced to face the truth. Why does this happen?
The problem lies with what we call the ego in our Twelve Step discussions. We commit ourselves to defending this ego at all times, especially around people who seem to put us down. Far from being a minor correction, any admission of wrong feels like total defeat, at least in our warped way of looking at things.
We can release ourselves from this bondage simply by coming to see that admitting and facing our wrongs is essential to growth. A store manager who overstocks a certain item "admits" the mistake by putting the goods on a clearance sale and getting rid of them. We can cut any loss in the same way by admitting a mistake and going on to a better course of action.
I'll not plan to make any mistakes today. But I'll hold myself in readiness to admit them if they occur. This is no threat to my ego. I am much more than my mistakes.
Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
The magic words for a great relationship are, "I love you just the way you are."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
DAILY REFLECTION:
Why Admitting We're Wrong is Right
Sometimes it's painful or almost impossible to admit that we've been wrong. This means we'll probably go on making the same mistakes until we're finally forced to face the truth. Why does this happen?
The problem lies with what we call the ego in our Twelve Step discussions. We commit ourselves to defending this ego at all times, especially around people who seem to put us down. Far from being a minor correction, any admission of wrong feels like total defeat, at least in our warped way of looking at things.
We can release ourselves from this bondage simply by coming to see that admitting and facing our wrongs is essential to growth. A store manager who overstocks a certain item "admits" the mistake by putting the goods on a clearance sale and getting rid of them. We can cut any loss in the same way by admitting a mistake and going on to a better course of action.
I'll not plan to make any mistakes today. But I'll hold myself in readiness to admit them if they occur. This is no threat to my ego. I am much more than my mistakes.
Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
July 5
This is posted from the "Today's Hope" site of Alanon.
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
Reading our literature every day is a big plus, but going to meetings, sharing and listening, and getting into service are the keys to serenity.
- Heard in a meeting
DAILY REFLECTION:
One Day at a Time
Have courage for the great sorrows of life, and patience for the small ones; and when you have laboriously accomplished your daily task, go to sleep in peace. God is awake.
- Victor Hugo
This quote reminds me to focus on doing the next right thing. I often worry about what is going on – my feelings, the future, others’ behavior. When I do this, I start becoming controlling and rationalize my behaving in ways that is contrary to my conscience. When I focus on this quote, I realize that all I need to do is focus on one thing at a time – the next right thing. And I only need to take it one day at a time. When I do that, I am able to do the best that I can. Beyond that, I let it go to my Higher Power. So every night when I sleep, I rest easy because I know that I have done all I can and I trust that my Higher Power will take care of the rest.
Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
Reading our literature every day is a big plus, but going to meetings, sharing and listening, and getting into service are the keys to serenity.
- Heard in a meeting
DAILY REFLECTION:
One Day at a Time
Have courage for the great sorrows of life, and patience for the small ones; and when you have laboriously accomplished your daily task, go to sleep in peace. God is awake.
- Victor Hugo
This quote reminds me to focus on doing the next right thing. I often worry about what is going on – my feelings, the future, others’ behavior. When I do this, I start becoming controlling and rationalize my behaving in ways that is contrary to my conscience. When I focus on this quote, I realize that all I need to do is focus on one thing at a time – the next right thing. And I only need to take it one day at a time. When I do that, I am able to do the best that I can. Beyond that, I let it go to my Higher Power. So every night when I sleep, I rest easy because I know that I have done all I can and I trust that my Higher Power will take care of the rest.
Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
July 6
This is posted from the "Today's Hope" site of Alanon.
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
Resentments are like peeing your pants--they don't affect anyone quite as much as you!
- Heard in a meeting
DAILY REFLECTION:
Empathy
Compassion and understanding on my part can have the power to heal…
- One Day at a Time in Alanon, p. 24
In my life, a lot of situations have occurred that I have still not been able to fully come to terms with as yet. I felt my boundaries had been so deeply violated that I would never be able to process and forgive the other person in those interactions. Moreover, I realize now that deep down, I was angry with myself for not protecting myself in all those situations – even ones that I couldn’t control.
The other day, I was sitting with a friend of mine and he said something condescending to me. In that moment, rather than feeling angry or hurt, somehow I was able to feel compassion for him. I established my boundary and ask that he not say those sorts of things to me, but I did not judge him. Instead, I felt empathy for him and realized what a dark place he was in to say those things to me. By feeling this empathy, I was able to forgive him and forgive myself. It was such a feeling of peace!
I was shocked that I responded in this way. I believe that it was my Higher Power gently was reminding me that I can still grow and change, that I am still capable of compassion for others that I feel have hurt me, and that when I do, I myself am healed. I hope that one day I am able to feel this compassion universally – including for myself!
Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
Resentments are like peeing your pants--they don't affect anyone quite as much as you!
- Heard in a meeting
DAILY REFLECTION:
Empathy
Compassion and understanding on my part can have the power to heal…
- One Day at a Time in Alanon, p. 24
In my life, a lot of situations have occurred that I have still not been able to fully come to terms with as yet. I felt my boundaries had been so deeply violated that I would never be able to process and forgive the other person in those interactions. Moreover, I realize now that deep down, I was angry with myself for not protecting myself in all those situations – even ones that I couldn’t control.
The other day, I was sitting with a friend of mine and he said something condescending to me. In that moment, rather than feeling angry or hurt, somehow I was able to feel compassion for him. I established my boundary and ask that he not say those sorts of things to me, but I did not judge him. Instead, I felt empathy for him and realized what a dark place he was in to say those things to me. By feeling this empathy, I was able to forgive him and forgive myself. It was such a feeling of peace!
I was shocked that I responded in this way. I believe that it was my Higher Power gently was reminding me that I can still grow and change, that I am still capable of compassion for others that I feel have hurt me, and that when I do, I myself am healed. I hope that one day I am able to feel this compassion universally – including for myself!
Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
July 7
This is posted from the "Today's Hope" site of Alanon.
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
It is difficult to make a man miserable while he feels worthy of himself and claims kindred to the great God who made him.
- Abraham Lincoln
DAILY REFLECTION:
Control
We should have much peace if we would not busy ourselves with the sayings and doings of others.
- Thomas ŕ Kempis
Recently I found myself disapproving of the way a loved one was responding to a certain situation. I thought it was inappropriate and incorrect. Eventually I came to realize how much I was obsessing about it and, more importantly, that it was not in my “hula hoop”. All that is in my “hula hoop” is my actions, my behaviors, and my boundaries. I realized that if my loved one was violating my boundaries, I could try to establish my boundaries. If he wasn’t violating my boundaries, then I was just trying to control his behavior.
Even after this realization, I remained resentful of his behavior. Moreover, I was resentful of the fact that it wasn’t in my hula hoop because I wanted to “justifiably” try to control him! After talking it over with a program friend, however, I realized that this wasn’t an opportunity that my HP put in front of me so that I could try to “fix” this person. This was an opportunity for me to learn acceptance and patience. Once I turned the focus to myself, I was grateful for my loved one’s behavior because I realized that it was a way in which my HP was reaching out to me.
Today when I notice myself disapproving of other people and their behavior, I ask myself a simple question of “is it violating my boundaries?” If the answer is yes, I try to establish my boundaries. If the answer is no, then I am grateful to have another opportunity to learn to love and accept others as they are rather than judge them for what I think they should be.
Daily share from the forum can be found here: http://www.todays-hope.com/todays-sharing.html
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
It is difficult to make a man miserable while he feels worthy of himself and claims kindred to the great God who made him.
- Abraham Lincoln
DAILY REFLECTION:
Control
We should have much peace if we would not busy ourselves with the sayings and doings of others.
- Thomas ŕ Kempis
Recently I found myself disapproving of the way a loved one was responding to a certain situation. I thought it was inappropriate and incorrect. Eventually I came to realize how much I was obsessing about it and, more importantly, that it was not in my “hula hoop”. All that is in my “hula hoop” is my actions, my behaviors, and my boundaries. I realized that if my loved one was violating my boundaries, I could try to establish my boundaries. If he wasn’t violating my boundaries, then I was just trying to control his behavior.
Even after this realization, I remained resentful of his behavior. Moreover, I was resentful of the fact that it wasn’t in my hula hoop because I wanted to “justifiably” try to control him! After talking it over with a program friend, however, I realized that this wasn’t an opportunity that my HP put in front of me so that I could try to “fix” this person. This was an opportunity for me to learn acceptance and patience. Once I turned the focus to myself, I was grateful for my loved one’s behavior because I realized that it was a way in which my HP was reaching out to me.
Today when I notice myself disapproving of other people and their behavior, I ask myself a simple question of “is it violating my boundaries?” If the answer is yes, I try to establish my boundaries. If the answer is no, then I am grateful to have another opportunity to learn to love and accept others as they are rather than judge them for what I think they should be.
Daily share from the forum can be found here: http://www.todays-hope.com/todays-sharing.html
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
July 8
This is posted from the "Today's Hope" site of Alanon.
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
Can't we all just get along?
- Rodney King
DAILY REFLECTION:
Listening
Sometimes I ask my Higher Power questions. Sometimes I ask my Higher Power for signs. Sometimes I ask, but I don't listen, or I ignore signs once they appear.
I was always asking questions and asking for signs and then forgetting to listen or watch for them to appear. A friend once said to me, "Remember, when you ask God a question, don't forget what the question was by the time he answers it!"
One day I was hiking on a path. I was having a moment where I was lacking faith and I was questioning my Higher Power. I was feeling abandoned in my time of need. I asked my Higher Power to give me a sign--a sign to let me know that I was not alone and that a spiritual being was with me in my time of need.
I allowed my mind to become quiet as I hiked slowly up the path. I listened to the sound of my breathing, to the sound of the ocean, to the wind blowing through the brush. I watched my footing on the path and took it slow. Suddenly there was a small white feather lying in the middle of the path. I first walked past it, not really thinking much about it, but something inside of me said, "Turn around and pick that feather up--it is a sign from your Higher Power." I turned around, picked it up, and then continued up the path.
I was almost to the top when I noticed a small turnout. I walked over and sat down on the edge of the cliff overlooking the ocean. I sat and cried. I cried feeling so lost and alone. Where was my Higher Power? Where was my faith? How was I to walk through this pain? How did others walk through this pain?
I reached in my pocket for a tissue to wipe my face and the small white feather fluttered out of my hands. It started to catch in the breeze and blow off into the sky when the wind changed direction and sent the feather back into my hand.
I calmed my mind. I quieted my tears. I listened. Something told me to get up, get back on the path and walk on. I stood up, dusted myself off and did just that. It was just a few steps more to the top of the hill, to the end of the path. When I turned the last curve of the trail, I found a giant wooden cross, standing in front of a bench, looking out over the ocean.
I sat on the bench and stared at the cross in awe. It did not matter that the sign was significant of a specific religion. What mattered was the sign was a spiritual one. Something inside of me said, "You see? You were just a few steps away from faith. If you had stopped, you would still be choosing to walk this path in fear, alone."
I realized then that I had to believe. I had to watch for signs and believe my questions would be answered in time. If I wasn't walking in faith, then I was choosing to walk alone and in fear.
Dear God, help me to listen. Help me to look for your signs. Remind me that I can have faith if I choose to walk with you instead of walking alone in fear.
Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
Can't we all just get along?
- Rodney King
DAILY REFLECTION:
Listening
Sometimes I ask my Higher Power questions. Sometimes I ask my Higher Power for signs. Sometimes I ask, but I don't listen, or I ignore signs once they appear.
I was always asking questions and asking for signs and then forgetting to listen or watch for them to appear. A friend once said to me, "Remember, when you ask God a question, don't forget what the question was by the time he answers it!"
One day I was hiking on a path. I was having a moment where I was lacking faith and I was questioning my Higher Power. I was feeling abandoned in my time of need. I asked my Higher Power to give me a sign--a sign to let me know that I was not alone and that a spiritual being was with me in my time of need.
I allowed my mind to become quiet as I hiked slowly up the path. I listened to the sound of my breathing, to the sound of the ocean, to the wind blowing through the brush. I watched my footing on the path and took it slow. Suddenly there was a small white feather lying in the middle of the path. I first walked past it, not really thinking much about it, but something inside of me said, "Turn around and pick that feather up--it is a sign from your Higher Power." I turned around, picked it up, and then continued up the path.
I was almost to the top when I noticed a small turnout. I walked over and sat down on the edge of the cliff overlooking the ocean. I sat and cried. I cried feeling so lost and alone. Where was my Higher Power? Where was my faith? How was I to walk through this pain? How did others walk through this pain?
I reached in my pocket for a tissue to wipe my face and the small white feather fluttered out of my hands. It started to catch in the breeze and blow off into the sky when the wind changed direction and sent the feather back into my hand.
I calmed my mind. I quieted my tears. I listened. Something told me to get up, get back on the path and walk on. I stood up, dusted myself off and did just that. It was just a few steps more to the top of the hill, to the end of the path. When I turned the last curve of the trail, I found a giant wooden cross, standing in front of a bench, looking out over the ocean.
I sat on the bench and stared at the cross in awe. It did not matter that the sign was significant of a specific religion. What mattered was the sign was a spiritual one. Something inside of me said, "You see? You were just a few steps away from faith. If you had stopped, you would still be choosing to walk this path in fear, alone."
I realized then that I had to believe. I had to watch for signs and believe my questions would be answered in time. If I wasn't walking in faith, then I was choosing to walk alone and in fear.
Dear God, help me to listen. Help me to look for your signs. Remind me that I can have faith if I choose to walk with you instead of walking alone in fear.
Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
July 9
This is posted from the "Today's Hope" site of Alanon.
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
The most terrible poverty is loneliness and the feeling of being unloved.
- Mother Theresa
DAILY REFLECTION:
Is there any stab as deep as wondering where and how much you failed those you loved?
- Florida Scott Maxwell
Treating our loved ones as we hope to be treated is our assurance against failing them. And if we listen to our inner voice, we'll never falter in our actions toward others. There is always a right behavior, a thoughtful response, and a respectful posture.
Let us be mindful that we're sharing our experiences with others who need the talents we have to offer. It's not by coincidence but by design that we're given opportunities to treat those close at hand in some manner. We'd do well to let the choice be loving.
How we treat another invites like treatment. Actions from our heart will soften our own struggles. Also, spiteful, critical treatment of others will hamper our steps. We teach others how to treat us by our gestures and words.
The inner voice can be heard if I choose to listen. It will never guide me wrongly.
Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
The most terrible poverty is loneliness and the feeling of being unloved.
- Mother Theresa
DAILY REFLECTION:
Is there any stab as deep as wondering where and how much you failed those you loved?
- Florida Scott Maxwell
Treating our loved ones as we hope to be treated is our assurance against failing them. And if we listen to our inner voice, we'll never falter in our actions toward others. There is always a right behavior, a thoughtful response, and a respectful posture.
Let us be mindful that we're sharing our experiences with others who need the talents we have to offer. It's not by coincidence but by design that we're given opportunities to treat those close at hand in some manner. We'd do well to let the choice be loving.
How we treat another invites like treatment. Actions from our heart will soften our own struggles. Also, spiteful, critical treatment of others will hamper our steps. We teach others how to treat us by our gestures and words.
The inner voice can be heard if I choose to listen. It will never guide me wrongly.
Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
This is posted from the "Today's Hope" site of Alanon.
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
When you feel left out, reach out.
- Heard in a meeting
DAILY REFLECTION:
But what is happiness except the simple harmony between a man and the life he leads?
- Albert Camus
Sometimes we say we're getting our lives together. Together with what? With our selves. The Twelve Steps help us clean up the mess we've made. We're fixing our mistakes. We're looking at ourselves closely – at what we believe, what we feel, what we like to do, who we are. We're asking our Higher Power to help us to be our best.
No wonder our lives are coming together! No wonder we feel more peace, harmony, and happiness!
Higher Power, help me remember that best harmony comes when I sing from Your songbook.
Today, I'll make choices that are in line with who I am.
Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
When you feel left out, reach out.
- Heard in a meeting
DAILY REFLECTION:
But what is happiness except the simple harmony between a man and the life he leads?
- Albert Camus
Sometimes we say we're getting our lives together. Together with what? With our selves. The Twelve Steps help us clean up the mess we've made. We're fixing our mistakes. We're looking at ourselves closely – at what we believe, what we feel, what we like to do, who we are. We're asking our Higher Power to help us to be our best.
No wonder our lives are coming together! No wonder we feel more peace, harmony, and happiness!
Higher Power, help me remember that best harmony comes when I sing from Your songbook.
Today, I'll make choices that are in line with who I am.
Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
July 11
This is posted from the "Today's Hope" site of Alanon.
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
If we supply the willingness, God supplies the power.
- Heard in a meeting
DAILY REFLECTION:
Value
Too many people undervalue what they are, and overvalue what they are not.
– Malcolm S. Forbes
Recently I have been challenged by God to see people as God sees them. That is, to see them as human beings worthy of love and respect just as they are, rather than as I would wish them to be. What I didn’t understand at first was that I am included in “people.” It is so much harder for me to love myself as I am, even knowing that my Higher Power loves me, just as I am.
Why is it so much easier to apply that vision to others? I think it is at least in part because I am comparing my “insides” to their “outsides.” It is so easy for me to see how I fall short of my aspirations, of the ways in which I think I should act. Even when I am acting in accordance with my principles, I do not adhere to them perfectly, and so I put myself down. I can also look at the ways in which others do some thing better than I do and feel inferior, while overlooking the ways in which I do well, perhaps better than them.
When this happens, I can turn to the love of my Higher Power to remind me to be gentle with myself, and to let me know that I am valued as I am today, in this moment.
Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
If we supply the willingness, God supplies the power.
- Heard in a meeting
DAILY REFLECTION:
Value
Too many people undervalue what they are, and overvalue what they are not.
– Malcolm S. Forbes
Recently I have been challenged by God to see people as God sees them. That is, to see them as human beings worthy of love and respect just as they are, rather than as I would wish them to be. What I didn’t understand at first was that I am included in “people.” It is so much harder for me to love myself as I am, even knowing that my Higher Power loves me, just as I am.
Why is it so much easier to apply that vision to others? I think it is at least in part because I am comparing my “insides” to their “outsides.” It is so easy for me to see how I fall short of my aspirations, of the ways in which I think I should act. Even when I am acting in accordance with my principles, I do not adhere to them perfectly, and so I put myself down. I can also look at the ways in which others do some thing better than I do and feel inferior, while overlooking the ways in which I do well, perhaps better than them.
When this happens, I can turn to the love of my Higher Power to remind me to be gentle with myself, and to let me know that I am valued as I am today, in this moment.
Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
July 12
This is posted from the "Today's Hope" site of Alanon.
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
No one can find inner peace except by working, not in a self-centered way, but for the whole human family.
- Peace Pilgrim
DAILY REFLECTION:
Moving Forward
Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities, no doubt, crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Before the program, I used to carry my past with me. Every flaw, every mistake, I bundled them all up and held them closest to my heart. I believed that each of these imperfections held the truth about me and that if I ever ignored even one, I will forget who I really am and start expecting more from life than I really deserve – that I would become an egomaniac with no real concept of who I am.
In truth, I went the other way to an extreme; I became a person with no self-esteem who had no real concept of who I was. What I didn’t know is that every time I collected these moments of shame, I weighed myself down with self-doubt and fear. I would walk into each day expecting myself to fail and fall short of being “good enough”. My life became a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Today, I try to go for between these two extremes. I do not ignore my mistakes, but I accept them, learn from them, and then let them go. In this way, I can grow. My mistakes don’t weigh me down like an anchor, anymore. I see them for what they are – my Higher Power trying to gently guide me towards greater love for myself and others. Now I can love my mistakes and be grateful for them in the same way that I can love and be grateful for my successes. Both bring me closer to my Higher Power.
Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope
[/i]
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
No one can find inner peace except by working, not in a self-centered way, but for the whole human family.
- Peace Pilgrim
DAILY REFLECTION:
Moving Forward
Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities, no doubt, crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Before the program, I used to carry my past with me. Every flaw, every mistake, I bundled them all up and held them closest to my heart. I believed that each of these imperfections held the truth about me and that if I ever ignored even one, I will forget who I really am and start expecting more from life than I really deserve – that I would become an egomaniac with no real concept of who I am.
In truth, I went the other way to an extreme; I became a person with no self-esteem who had no real concept of who I was. What I didn’t know is that every time I collected these moments of shame, I weighed myself down with self-doubt and fear. I would walk into each day expecting myself to fail and fall short of being “good enough”. My life became a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Today, I try to go for between these two extremes. I do not ignore my mistakes, but I accept them, learn from them, and then let them go. In this way, I can grow. My mistakes don’t weigh me down like an anchor, anymore. I see them for what they are – my Higher Power trying to gently guide me towards greater love for myself and others. Now I can love my mistakes and be grateful for them in the same way that I can love and be grateful for my successes. Both bring me closer to my Higher Power.
Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope
[/i]
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
July 13
This is posted from the "Today's Hope" site of Alanon.
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
The practice of forgiveness is our most important contribution to the healing of the world.
- Marianne Williamson
DAILY REFLECTION:
Maybe You’re Right
I once heard that if you really don't want to get into it with someone, there are ways to stop the argument before it starts. I first started practicing the "Maybe you're right" rule at work. If I thought someone was trying to pick a fight with me, I would stop myself from reacting and say, "Maybe you're right." If someone said something to me that I felt was a dig at my personality, I would calmly say, "Maybe you're right." If they questioned my judgement in a certain situation, I said, "Maybe you're right."
By not reacting, and by taking a step back, I could look at what this person had said with a rational mind. I could see if what they said had any truth in it. If it did, I could approach the person later, in a better state of mind, and discuss their concerns. If what they said didn't "hold water," if it was truly meant to just cause a reaction, then I had removed myself from the situation before it escalated into an argument.
I liked knowing that a person was unable to get the rise they may have expected from me and that I could choose not to lose my peace of mind or my serenity by just saying a few simple words: Maybe you're right.
After practicing this technique for awhile, I noticed that people at work who had tried to get a reaction from me before stopped baiting me because they were unable to get the "hoped for" result. I also found that the people who had honest concerns respected me for the way I was able to keep a cool head, my calm way of thinking, and my ability to take a step back and look at myself and my actions.
By using this phrase, "Maybe you're right," I took my personal feelings out of the situation and stayed rational. I was able to bring an emotional situation a step down, instead of reacting and causing it to "step up."
Dear God, help me to take a step back when provoked. If I can calmly and rationally distance myself from the situation, I can then see if I have a part in it. Taking a step back will give me time to see what I truly need to do.
Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope
This is posted from the "Today's Hope" site of Alanon.
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
The practice of forgiveness is our most important contribution to the healing of the world.
- Marianne Williamson
DAILY REFLECTION:
Maybe You’re Right
I once heard that if you really don't want to get into it with someone, there are ways to stop the argument before it starts. I first started practicing the "Maybe you're right" rule at work. If I thought someone was trying to pick a fight with me, I would stop myself from reacting and say, "Maybe you're right." If someone said something to me that I felt was a dig at my personality, I would calmly say, "Maybe you're right." If they questioned my judgement in a certain situation, I said, "Maybe you're right."
By not reacting, and by taking a step back, I could look at what this person had said with a rational mind. I could see if what they said had any truth in it. If it did, I could approach the person later, in a better state of mind, and discuss their concerns. If what they said didn't "hold water," if it was truly meant to just cause a reaction, then I had removed myself from the situation before it escalated into an argument.
I liked knowing that a person was unable to get the rise they may have expected from me and that I could choose not to lose my peace of mind or my serenity by just saying a few simple words: Maybe you're right.
After practicing this technique for awhile, I noticed that people at work who had tried to get a reaction from me before stopped baiting me because they were unable to get the "hoped for" result. I also found that the people who had honest concerns respected me for the way I was able to keep a cool head, my calm way of thinking, and my ability to take a step back and look at myself and my actions.
By using this phrase, "Maybe you're right," I took my personal feelings out of the situation and stayed rational. I was able to bring an emotional situation a step down, instead of reacting and causing it to "step up."
Dear God, help me to take a step back when provoked. If I can calmly and rationally distance myself from the situation, I can then see if I have a part in it. Taking a step back will give me time to see what I truly need to do.
Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
July 14
This is posted from the "Today's Hope" site of Alanon.
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
There is no situation too difficult to be bettered and no unhappiness to great to be lessened.
- Heard in a meeting
DAILY REFLECTION:
Getting What I Need
Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
I love this quote because the more and more I am in the program, the more I am able to see how the universe is conspiring to help me. I think that, before the program, I wanted to get better but I wanted to get better on my terms. Thankfully, the universe did not give me what I wanted, it gave me what I needed.
Earlier this week, I was pondering the thought that I can be extremely codependent when it comes to my parents because part of me fears that I need them and that I would be lost without them if anything really bad should happen. Later in the week, I hit my car against a pillar, and felt more shame that reinforced my fear that I was incapable and also fear about what my parents would think. Then I was able to take care of the situation on my own. Afterwards, when I met with my parents’ disapproval, I was able to be OK with it because I learned that I could be OK without their help. My trust and faith in myself increased exponentially.
I put out into the world that I wanted to have more faith in myself. The universe delivered me a pillar. Thank God.
Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
There is no situation too difficult to be bettered and no unhappiness to great to be lessened.
- Heard in a meeting
DAILY REFLECTION:
Getting What I Need
Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
I love this quote because the more and more I am in the program, the more I am able to see how the universe is conspiring to help me. I think that, before the program, I wanted to get better but I wanted to get better on my terms. Thankfully, the universe did not give me what I wanted, it gave me what I needed.
Earlier this week, I was pondering the thought that I can be extremely codependent when it comes to my parents because part of me fears that I need them and that I would be lost without them if anything really bad should happen. Later in the week, I hit my car against a pillar, and felt more shame that reinforced my fear that I was incapable and also fear about what my parents would think. Then I was able to take care of the situation on my own. Afterwards, when I met with my parents’ disapproval, I was able to be OK with it because I learned that I could be OK without their help. My trust and faith in myself increased exponentially.
I put out into the world that I wanted to have more faith in myself. The universe delivered me a pillar. Thank God.
Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope
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