"Today's Hope"
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
July 31
This is posted from the "Today's Hope" site of Alanon.
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
Al-Anon is helping me to learn to love myself just the way I am.
- Heard in a meeting
DAILY REFLECTION:
Boundaries
To this day I still have a very hard time keeping boundaries. My tendency has always been to give too much of myself to everyone, leaving me worn out and frustrated in the end. Part of me has always thought that the more I gave, the more people would know that I truly loved them. Instead, oftentimes my friends and family were left feeling that they could never do enough to compare with what I had given them or feeling indebted to me and resentful.
There is nothing wrong with being a generous person unless your generosity is being used to please others.
Over the years, I have learned to watch my actions and pull back if necessary and work on my boundaries. If I feel myself become anxious, stressed, or helpless after giving too much, or by accepting actions from another person that seem totally unacceptable to me, then I know that it is time to stop, assess the situation, and re-establish secure boundaries.
Having boundaries does not mean that I have to be rigid with all of my actions and rules. Having boundaries lets others know what I will tolerate and how I am willing to be treated as well as helping to build self-respect and setting an example for those who love me.
Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
Al-Anon is helping me to learn to love myself just the way I am.
- Heard in a meeting
DAILY REFLECTION:
Boundaries
To this day I still have a very hard time keeping boundaries. My tendency has always been to give too much of myself to everyone, leaving me worn out and frustrated in the end. Part of me has always thought that the more I gave, the more people would know that I truly loved them. Instead, oftentimes my friends and family were left feeling that they could never do enough to compare with what I had given them or feeling indebted to me and resentful.
There is nothing wrong with being a generous person unless your generosity is being used to please others.
Over the years, I have learned to watch my actions and pull back if necessary and work on my boundaries. If I feel myself become anxious, stressed, or helpless after giving too much, or by accepting actions from another person that seem totally unacceptable to me, then I know that it is time to stop, assess the situation, and re-establish secure boundaries.
Having boundaries does not mean that I have to be rigid with all of my actions and rules. Having boundaries lets others know what I will tolerate and how I am willing to be treated as well as helping to build self-respect and setting an example for those who love me.
Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
August 1
This is posted from the "Today's Hope" site of Alanon.
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
Just for today I will have a program. I may not follow it exactly, but I will have it.
- Heard in a meeting
DAILY REFLECTION:
Everyone
Everyone you will ever meet knows something that you don’t.
– Bill Nye, the Science Guy
I used to think that I had to have the answers for every problem in my life. I used to think that I had to fix everything and everybody around me, by myself. I used to think that asking for help showed weakness.
I have learned that others often have a better answer than I ever think of. I have learned that it is not my responsibility, nor within my ability, to fix everyone and everything. I have learned that asking for help shows strength.
Sometimes it is not that you are smarter, more knowledgeable, or more capable than me. It is just that you are not me. You have a different perspective, you see things in a different way, you have different life experience to draw upon, and you definitely know something that I don’t. I can only gain from asking you for help.
Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
Just for today I will have a program. I may not follow it exactly, but I will have it.
- Heard in a meeting
DAILY REFLECTION:
Everyone
Everyone you will ever meet knows something that you don’t.
– Bill Nye, the Science Guy
I used to think that I had to have the answers for every problem in my life. I used to think that I had to fix everything and everybody around me, by myself. I used to think that asking for help showed weakness.
I have learned that others often have a better answer than I ever think of. I have learned that it is not my responsibility, nor within my ability, to fix everyone and everything. I have learned that asking for help shows strength.
Sometimes it is not that you are smarter, more knowledgeable, or more capable than me. It is just that you are not me. You have a different perspective, you see things in a different way, you have different life experience to draw upon, and you definitely know something that I don’t. I can only gain from asking you for help.
Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
August 2
This is posted from the "Today's Hope" site of Alanon.
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
The moment we want to believe something, we suddenly see all the arguments for it, and become blind to the arguments against it.
- George Bernard Shaw
DAILY REFLECTION:
Sorrow
Once you express your sorrow from the bottom of your heart it will be washed away. Look at a flower;
it can never hide its scent nor its color.
– Rumi
Step 9 asks us to make amends to those we have harmed. When we do so, we are cleansed. We don’t do it to gain forgiveness, we do it to remove the stain of sorrow, remorse, and guilt from our own hearts. The color and scent of our flower show forth more strongly and clearly as we live our life more honestly.
Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope
image hosting above 5 mb
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
The moment we want to believe something, we suddenly see all the arguments for it, and become blind to the arguments against it.
- George Bernard Shaw
DAILY REFLECTION:
Sorrow
Once you express your sorrow from the bottom of your heart it will be washed away. Look at a flower;
it can never hide its scent nor its color.
– Rumi
Step 9 asks us to make amends to those we have harmed. When we do so, we are cleansed. We don’t do it to gain forgiveness, we do it to remove the stain of sorrow, remorse, and guilt from our own hearts. The color and scent of our flower show forth more strongly and clearly as we live our life more honestly.
Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope
image hosting above 5 mb
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
August 3
This is posted from the "Today's Hope" site of Alanon.
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
You grow up the day you have your first real laugh - at yourself.
- Ethel Barrymore
DAILY REFLECTION:
Daily Our Spirits Are Renewed
For most of us, a spiritual awakening does not come once and for all. Instead, we have small flashes of insight here and there, and every once in a while we look back and realize with gratitude how the promises of the program have been coming true for us.
Just as our bodies need daily nourishment, so do our spirits. We can seek people and experiences that leave us feeling warm and uplifted. We can take time each day to become quiet in mind and body so that we hear the inner messages that refresh our spirits. We can read something inspirational, listen to good music, look at a beautiful painting or a sunset, grasp a friend's hand in understanding, and say a prayer.
Our spirits bounce back from hurt and depression. They are more easily renewed when we take proper care of our bodies, since we are a total entity of heart, mind, body, and spirit.
Today I will look for ways to feed my spirit.
Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
You grow up the day you have your first real laugh - at yourself.
- Ethel Barrymore
DAILY REFLECTION:
Daily Our Spirits Are Renewed
For most of us, a spiritual awakening does not come once and for all. Instead, we have small flashes of insight here and there, and every once in a while we look back and realize with gratitude how the promises of the program have been coming true for us.
Just as our bodies need daily nourishment, so do our spirits. We can seek people and experiences that leave us feeling warm and uplifted. We can take time each day to become quiet in mind and body so that we hear the inner messages that refresh our spirits. We can read something inspirational, listen to good music, look at a beautiful painting or a sunset, grasp a friend's hand in understanding, and say a prayer.
Our spirits bounce back from hurt and depression. They are more easily renewed when we take proper care of our bodies, since we are a total entity of heart, mind, body, and spirit.
Today I will look for ways to feed my spirit.
Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
August 4
This is posted from the "Today's Hope" site of Alanon.
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
The spiritual exercise suggested by the Eleventh Step is a powerful force for good in our lives. Let me not ever think I have no time for it.
- Heard in a meeting
DAILY REFLECTION:
Sing
It’s a joy to sing, like the birds do.
- David Byrne, "How Music Works"
One of the joys I have discovered in recovery is in singing. I’ve always loved music but never thought I could sing well. When I came into recovery, I also started going back to church. And in church we sing. I envied those around me who could carry a tune and who could sing in tune. I sang quietly, so my out-of-tune voice wouldn’t bother anyone.
As I practiced, week after week, I started to find my voice. I discovered that I sang best in a different register than I had always tried to sing — my voice is not like Paul McCartney, it’s more like Johnny Cash. The first time I got a compliment on my singing, I was elated, especially as it came from a woman who was in the choir. I continue to sing out in church, and sometimes will even sing a little for friends, which takes a lot of courage.
Some day, I will sing just for the joy of it, like the birds do, and I won’t care who might hear me.
Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
The spiritual exercise suggested by the Eleventh Step is a powerful force for good in our lives. Let me not ever think I have no time for it.
- Heard in a meeting
DAILY REFLECTION:
Sing
It’s a joy to sing, like the birds do.
- David Byrne, "How Music Works"
One of the joys I have discovered in recovery is in singing. I’ve always loved music but never thought I could sing well. When I came into recovery, I also started going back to church. And in church we sing. I envied those around me who could carry a tune and who could sing in tune. I sang quietly, so my out-of-tune voice wouldn’t bother anyone.
As I practiced, week after week, I started to find my voice. I discovered that I sang best in a different register than I had always tried to sing — my voice is not like Paul McCartney, it’s more like Johnny Cash. The first time I got a compliment on my singing, I was elated, especially as it came from a woman who was in the choir. I continue to sing out in church, and sometimes will even sing a little for friends, which takes a lot of courage.
Some day, I will sing just for the joy of it, like the birds do, and I won’t care who might hear me.
Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
August 5
This is posted from the "Today's Hope" site of Alanon.
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
Happiness is not a brilliant climax to years of grim struggle and anxiety. It is a long succession of little decisions simply to be happy in the moment.
- J. Donald Walters
DAILY REFLECTION:
Stop expecting too much from yourself.
- Anonymous
When there is too wide a gap between standards we set for ourselves and our actual achievement, unhappiness follows. If we can't improve the performance, we should lower the demands. When we are true to ourselves, we come to expect only that which we are capable of doing. As we grow each day in recovery, we are able to do more.
What we expect from ourselves can change the next day. It is very important that, through our meetings and conversations with fellow members, we keep close tabs on our development. We find out that life is for living, and it is better lived when we do our assignments every day.
We are really never given more than we can do. As long as we have realistic goals, we will be given what we need to succeed.
Today I'll remember that when my expectations are too high, I get stuck and down on myself.
Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
Happiness is not a brilliant climax to years of grim struggle and anxiety. It is a long succession of little decisions simply to be happy in the moment.
- J. Donald Walters
DAILY REFLECTION:
Stop expecting too much from yourself.
- Anonymous
When there is too wide a gap between standards we set for ourselves and our actual achievement, unhappiness follows. If we can't improve the performance, we should lower the demands. When we are true to ourselves, we come to expect only that which we are capable of doing. As we grow each day in recovery, we are able to do more.
What we expect from ourselves can change the next day. It is very important that, through our meetings and conversations with fellow members, we keep close tabs on our development. We find out that life is for living, and it is better lived when we do our assignments every day.
We are really never given more than we can do. As long as we have realistic goals, we will be given what we need to succeed.
Today I'll remember that when my expectations are too high, I get stuck and down on myself.
Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
August 6
This is posted from the "Today's Hope" site of Alanon.
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
Anger is often more hurtful than the injury that caused it.
- English Proverb
DAILY REFLECTION:
Imagine living in your head, untrue to your heart. Imagine the pain of separation. Imagine the depth of the longing for peace.
- G. Carol
Before finding recovery as a way of life, many of us barely hung on from one pain-filled moment to another. We incessantly tried to figure out what was wrong with our lives. We feared everything: our coworkers, our neighbors, the long days, the new experiences, the many strangers who crossed our paths. Miraculously, we were led to this program.
We can experience the joy of peace each time we remember to turn our will and lives over to the care of our loving God. To receive this goodness, we need only an open heart and a willingness to listen for the guidance of God. This guidance may come to us through a special passage in a book, the words of a friend, or in other ways. If we believe that the guidance will come, we will hear it.
I want to know God's will for me today. I will be attentive every moment.
Today I'll remember that when my expectations are too high, I get stuck and down on myself.
Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
Anger is often more hurtful than the injury that caused it.
- English Proverb
DAILY REFLECTION:
Imagine living in your head, untrue to your heart. Imagine the pain of separation. Imagine the depth of the longing for peace.
- G. Carol
Before finding recovery as a way of life, many of us barely hung on from one pain-filled moment to another. We incessantly tried to figure out what was wrong with our lives. We feared everything: our coworkers, our neighbors, the long days, the new experiences, the many strangers who crossed our paths. Miraculously, we were led to this program.
We can experience the joy of peace each time we remember to turn our will and lives over to the care of our loving God. To receive this goodness, we need only an open heart and a willingness to listen for the guidance of God. This guidance may come to us through a special passage in a book, the words of a friend, or in other ways. If we believe that the guidance will come, we will hear it.
I want to know God's will for me today. I will be attentive every moment.
Today I'll remember that when my expectations are too high, I get stuck and down on myself.
Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope
♥
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
You are more than welcome, venuscat--I am so glad to have the opportunity to post both these threads. I get a great deal out of the readings each day, and I really love searching for pictures to go w/each day's reading. This is the most enjoyable form of service I can imagine!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
August 7
This is posted from the "Today's Hope" site of Alanon.
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
Al-Anon has shown me another way of living, and I like it. Life can either be a burden and a chore or a challenge and a joy. One day at a time I can meet the challenges of life head-on instead of head-down.
- Heard in a meeting
DAILY REFLECTION:
Serenity
I once heard that serenity wasn't having "all of your ducks in a row" but having all of your ducks scattered and being okay with it. Well, I don't know much about ducks, but I do know that when my world is feeling scattered, when I feel that I don't have a safe harbor or an anchor to cling to, my serenity is in danger.
Sometimes it just feels like a run of bad luck,like I can't catch a break no matter how hard I try. I think I've done the right thing. I think I've chosen the right path and then suddenly something comes along and "scatters my ducks." It can be quite disheartening.
I have learned that during these times of chaos I must go back to the idea of "one day at a time" and really, down to one minute or one second at a time, if necessary.
I have to focus myself on the tasks at hand--getting up, making my bed, getting ready for work, showing up, doing my job well, eating, resting, and taking care of my health until my serenity returns.
If I allow myself to become enveloped in the chaos, I allow myself to become scattered in my mind, in my spiritual beliefs and in my actions and I lose all sense of perspective. By taking it moment by moment, accepting that things are scattered for now but, will return to a since of normalcy in the future, I can keep moving forward on my path and learn to find serenity when all around me is chaotic.
Dear God, help me to find serenity even when my world is full of chaos. Help me to find solace in my day-to-day routine as I struggle through these changes.
Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
Al-Anon has shown me another way of living, and I like it. Life can either be a burden and a chore or a challenge and a joy. One day at a time I can meet the challenges of life head-on instead of head-down.
- Heard in a meeting
DAILY REFLECTION:
Serenity
I once heard that serenity wasn't having "all of your ducks in a row" but having all of your ducks scattered and being okay with it. Well, I don't know much about ducks, but I do know that when my world is feeling scattered, when I feel that I don't have a safe harbor or an anchor to cling to, my serenity is in danger.
Sometimes it just feels like a run of bad luck,like I can't catch a break no matter how hard I try. I think I've done the right thing. I think I've chosen the right path and then suddenly something comes along and "scatters my ducks." It can be quite disheartening.
I have learned that during these times of chaos I must go back to the idea of "one day at a time" and really, down to one minute or one second at a time, if necessary.
I have to focus myself on the tasks at hand--getting up, making my bed, getting ready for work, showing up, doing my job well, eating, resting, and taking care of my health until my serenity returns.
If I allow myself to become enveloped in the chaos, I allow myself to become scattered in my mind, in my spiritual beliefs and in my actions and I lose all sense of perspective. By taking it moment by moment, accepting that things are scattered for now but, will return to a since of normalcy in the future, I can keep moving forward on my path and learn to find serenity when all around me is chaotic.
Dear God, help me to find serenity even when my world is full of chaos. Help me to find solace in my day-to-day routine as I struggle through these changes.
Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
August 8
This is posted from the "Today's Hope" site of Alanon.
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
Keep a grateful journal. Every night, list five things you are grateful for.
- Oprah Winfrey
DAILY REFLECTION:
Blooms
I have a plum tree, and every year it blooms. It has put out its slightly pinkish blossoms without hesitation or haste. It has made no demands on me to admire it, but it has also done nothing to avoid my attention.
- "Having Had a Spiritual Awakening", Al-Anon
There is much beauty around me. I will miss it if I get caught up in my cycle of worry, continuing to work over some small slight, some shame of past behavior, some old, well-worn resentment. The beauty of the world, like the flowers on the tree, does not demand that I admire it, but it doesn’t hide from me, either. My own mind, my own will is what obscures that beauty. When I can take a moment to be in that moment, to let go of the cares and worries of my daily life, then and only then will I see what the universe has placed in front of my blinded eyes.
Today I will take a moment to witness the beauty.
Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
Keep a grateful journal. Every night, list five things you are grateful for.
- Oprah Winfrey
DAILY REFLECTION:
Blooms
I have a plum tree, and every year it blooms. It has put out its slightly pinkish blossoms without hesitation or haste. It has made no demands on me to admire it, but it has also done nothing to avoid my attention.
- "Having Had a Spiritual Awakening", Al-Anon
There is much beauty around me. I will miss it if I get caught up in my cycle of worry, continuing to work over some small slight, some shame of past behavior, some old, well-worn resentment. The beauty of the world, like the flowers on the tree, does not demand that I admire it, but it doesn’t hide from me, either. My own mind, my own will is what obscures that beauty. When I can take a moment to be in that moment, to let go of the cares and worries of my daily life, then and only then will I see what the universe has placed in front of my blinded eyes.
Today I will take a moment to witness the beauty.
Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
August 9
This is posted from the "Today's Hope" site of Alanon.
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
Your world expands with the generosity, compassion, inventiveness, and service that you contribute. The more love that is given, the more love returns. The more a helping hand is given, the more hands are strengthened and empowered to help. We can help each other to all be winners.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
DAILY REFLECTION:
Turtle
It was the spring before we moved again, a list of what we must do on the refrigerator, when my daughter and I found a turtle in the road.…
… At last I put my stick away and left him to decide which direction was best. If I forced him off the road, he might return later. My daughter and I stood a while, considering him. He was a traveler from the time of reptiles, a creature who wore his house like a jacket. I don’t know if he survived his afternoon in the road; I am still thinking of the way his eyes watched me go.
I can’t forget his terrible legs, so determined to take him somewhere, his tail which pointed behind him at the dark spaces between the trees.
- Faith Shearin, "Turtle in the Road"
I often think I know the right course of action for another person. In the program, I have learned that it is best to Live and Let Live. As the poem says, “if I forced him off the road, he might return later”. The author believes she understands his motivation, “because I didn’t // want to move either; I was tired of going from one place // to another”. But, you know, when I believe I understand someone’s inner thoughts and motivation, I often discover that I was wrong, and that the well-meaning advice I was about to give would have been wrong-headed. It is good that in Al-Anon, we share our own experience, strength, and hope, but we do not tell each other what to do.
Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
Your world expands with the generosity, compassion, inventiveness, and service that you contribute. The more love that is given, the more love returns. The more a helping hand is given, the more hands are strengthened and empowered to help. We can help each other to all be winners.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
DAILY REFLECTION:
Turtle
It was the spring before we moved again, a list of what we must do on the refrigerator, when my daughter and I found a turtle in the road.…
… At last I put my stick away and left him to decide which direction was best. If I forced him off the road, he might return later. My daughter and I stood a while, considering him. He was a traveler from the time of reptiles, a creature who wore his house like a jacket. I don’t know if he survived his afternoon in the road; I am still thinking of the way his eyes watched me go.
I can’t forget his terrible legs, so determined to take him somewhere, his tail which pointed behind him at the dark spaces between the trees.
- Faith Shearin, "Turtle in the Road"
I often think I know the right course of action for another person. In the program, I have learned that it is best to Live and Let Live. As the poem says, “if I forced him off the road, he might return later”. The author believes she understands his motivation, “because I didn’t // want to move either; I was tired of going from one place // to another”. But, you know, when I believe I understand someone’s inner thoughts and motivation, I often discover that I was wrong, and that the well-meaning advice I was about to give would have been wrong-headed. It is good that in Al-Anon, we share our own experience, strength, and hope, but we do not tell each other what to do.
Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
And for anyone who'd like to read the "Turtle in the Road" poem in its entirety, here is a link:
Turtle in the Road by Faith Shearin | The Writer's Almanac with Garrison Keillor
I'm partial to turtles myself. I posted the following, which some of you might remember, back on June 22, 2015, the day that XAH and I finalized our divorce:
As we were almost home from the courthouse, we saw some guys trying to move a big snapping turtle out of the 4-lane highway we were on. AH and I pulled over and wrapped the snapper up in a big blanket that was in my car and took him across the road to the pond there. It took some doing to get him out of the blanket and pointed the right way, but he made his way to the water, slowly submerged, still facing us, and bobbed a few times, putting just his weird little nostrils above the water. Then he turned to face the pond and swam gently off, long neck extended, legs w/long-clawed feet paddling, gradually disappearing into the tea-colored water. I want to remember exactly how he looked; I found it calming and somehow reassuring.
Turtle in the Road by Faith Shearin | The Writer's Almanac with Garrison Keillor
I'm partial to turtles myself. I posted the following, which some of you might remember, back on June 22, 2015, the day that XAH and I finalized our divorce:
As we were almost home from the courthouse, we saw some guys trying to move a big snapping turtle out of the 4-lane highway we were on. AH and I pulled over and wrapped the snapper up in a big blanket that was in my car and took him across the road to the pond there. It took some doing to get him out of the blanket and pointed the right way, but he made his way to the water, slowly submerged, still facing us, and bobbed a few times, putting just his weird little nostrils above the water. Then he turned to face the pond and swam gently off, long neck extended, legs w/long-clawed feet paddling, gradually disappearing into the tea-colored water. I want to remember exactly how he looked; I found it calming and somehow reassuring.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
August 10
This is posted from the "Today's Hope" site of Alanon.
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
The unselfish effort to bring cheer to others will be the beginning of a happier life for ourselves.
- Helen Keller
DAILY REFLECTION:
That's what happens when you're angry at people. You make them part of your life.
- Garrison Keillor
Our problems with anger and our problems in relationships go hand in hand. Some of us have held back our anger, which led to resentment of our loved ones. Some of us have indulged our anger and become abusive. Some of us have been so frightened of anger that we closed off the dialogue in our relationships when angry feelings came out.
Some of us have wasted our energy by focusing anger on people who weren't really important to us. Do we truly want them to become so important? Yet, perhaps the important relationships got frozen because we weren't open and respectful with our anger. It isn't possible to be close to someone without being angry at times. We let our loved ones be part of our lives by feeling our anger when it is there and expressing it openly, directly, and respectfully to them - or by hearing them when they are angry. Then, with dialogue, we can let it go.
I will be aware of those people I am making important in my life and will grow in dealing with my anger.
Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
The unselfish effort to bring cheer to others will be the beginning of a happier life for ourselves.
- Helen Keller
DAILY REFLECTION:
That's what happens when you're angry at people. You make them part of your life.
- Garrison Keillor
Our problems with anger and our problems in relationships go hand in hand. Some of us have held back our anger, which led to resentment of our loved ones. Some of us have indulged our anger and become abusive. Some of us have been so frightened of anger that we closed off the dialogue in our relationships when angry feelings came out.
Some of us have wasted our energy by focusing anger on people who weren't really important to us. Do we truly want them to become so important? Yet, perhaps the important relationships got frozen because we weren't open and respectful with our anger. It isn't possible to be close to someone without being angry at times. We let our loved ones be part of our lives by feeling our anger when it is there and expressing it openly, directly, and respectfully to them - or by hearing them when they are angry. Then, with dialogue, we can let it go.
I will be aware of those people I am making important in my life and will grow in dealing with my anger.
Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
August 11
This is posted from the "Today's Hope" site of Alanon.
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
Letting go and letting God helps me relax and move on with my life.
- Heard on a meeting
DAILY REFLECTION:
I love being able to say, "I was wrong," or "I made a mistake," and not feel like it's the end of the world.
- Carol C.
Before recovery, we felt so guilt-ridden we couldn't bear to admit we were less than perfect. Since our insides seemed so awful, we clung to an outside appearance of perfection. That way, we hoped people wouldn't find out what we were really like. But we fooled no one, not even ourselves, for very long.
In recovery, we have a chance to change that pattern. Now we can learn to admit our limitations, our mistakes, and our imperfections. What a wonderful relief, not to have to be perfect. We can be just who we are - very human beings who are groping toward the light. Sometimes we find it, sometimes we lose our way, but still we strive onward. And in the process, we find ourselves as well as serenity.
Today help me keep working toward perfection, but forgive my mistakes along the way.
Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
Letting go and letting God helps me relax and move on with my life.
- Heard on a meeting
DAILY REFLECTION:
I love being able to say, "I was wrong," or "I made a mistake," and not feel like it's the end of the world.
- Carol C.
Before recovery, we felt so guilt-ridden we couldn't bear to admit we were less than perfect. Since our insides seemed so awful, we clung to an outside appearance of perfection. That way, we hoped people wouldn't find out what we were really like. But we fooled no one, not even ourselves, for very long.
In recovery, we have a chance to change that pattern. Now we can learn to admit our limitations, our mistakes, and our imperfections. What a wonderful relief, not to have to be perfect. We can be just who we are - very human beings who are groping toward the light. Sometimes we find it, sometimes we lose our way, but still we strive onward. And in the process, we find ourselves as well as serenity.
Today help me keep working toward perfection, but forgive my mistakes along the way.
Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
August 12
This is posted from the "Today's Hope" site of Alanon.
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
Happiness is the absence of the striving for happiness.
- Zhuangzi
DAILY REFLECTION:
My Part
Many of us find that as we practice treating others fairly, with love and respect, we ourselves become magnets for love and respect.
- from "In All Our Affairs"
I remember before coming into the program, when someone was treating me in a way that I did not like, I’d get defensive and critical, or I would yell, or I would emotionally withdraw from the person so that they would feel isolated from me. All of these things were tools that I used to try to get the other person to treat me differently – that is, I used to try to control their behavior. When I started behaving in this way, I then felt like I had to remain committed to that course of action because otherwise how would I “train” the person not to act that way again if I just caved and stopped yelling or stopped being angry?
During and after every such circumstance, I did not feel good about myself or the outcome, no matter what happened. I know now that the reason is because I acted in a way that I was not proud of. At the time, however, I was only focused on the actions of others and never stopped to assess my feelings on my own behavior.
Today, in all my interactions, I try to focus on my own behavior and make sure I am acting in accordance with my conscience. In my recovery program, we refer to this as “keeping my side of the street clean.” That is to say that I act in a way that is respectful and loving of others regardless of their actions. This does not mean forcing myself to suffer or internalize abuse. To me, “keeping my side of the street clean” means being loving and respectful to others and myself in my interactions.
When my boundaries are crossed, I respectfully state that I am uncomfortable. If the behavior continues, I remove myself from that situation while at the same time practicing love and compassion for myself and the other person. Once I started doing this, to my great surprise, the people around me started treating me with love and respect also. I think this is because it is impossible to have an emotional or verbal tug-o-war if one person does not pick up the rope.
Today I try to practice love, compassion, and respect for others because I now take responsibility for my part in all of my interactions. When I behave in a way that that I am able to be proud of and comfortable with, I am at peace with whatever the outcome is.
Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
Happiness is the absence of the striving for happiness.
- Zhuangzi
DAILY REFLECTION:
My Part
Many of us find that as we practice treating others fairly, with love and respect, we ourselves become magnets for love and respect.
- from "In All Our Affairs"
I remember before coming into the program, when someone was treating me in a way that I did not like, I’d get defensive and critical, or I would yell, or I would emotionally withdraw from the person so that they would feel isolated from me. All of these things were tools that I used to try to get the other person to treat me differently – that is, I used to try to control their behavior. When I started behaving in this way, I then felt like I had to remain committed to that course of action because otherwise how would I “train” the person not to act that way again if I just caved and stopped yelling or stopped being angry?
During and after every such circumstance, I did not feel good about myself or the outcome, no matter what happened. I know now that the reason is because I acted in a way that I was not proud of. At the time, however, I was only focused on the actions of others and never stopped to assess my feelings on my own behavior.
Today, in all my interactions, I try to focus on my own behavior and make sure I am acting in accordance with my conscience. In my recovery program, we refer to this as “keeping my side of the street clean.” That is to say that I act in a way that is respectful and loving of others regardless of their actions. This does not mean forcing myself to suffer or internalize abuse. To me, “keeping my side of the street clean” means being loving and respectful to others and myself in my interactions.
When my boundaries are crossed, I respectfully state that I am uncomfortable. If the behavior continues, I remove myself from that situation while at the same time practicing love and compassion for myself and the other person. Once I started doing this, to my great surprise, the people around me started treating me with love and respect also. I think this is because it is impossible to have an emotional or verbal tug-o-war if one person does not pick up the rope.
Today I try to practice love, compassion, and respect for others because I now take responsibility for my part in all of my interactions. When I behave in a way that that I am able to be proud of and comfortable with, I am at peace with whatever the outcome is.
Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
August 13
This is posted from the "Today's Hope" site of Alanon.
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
Go within every day and find the inner strength so that the world will not blow your candle out.
- Katherine Dunham
DAILY REFLECTION:
Unconditional love corresponds to one of the deepest longings, not only of the child, but of every human being.
- Erich Fromm
Feeling the need to be perfect to ensure we'll be loved is as familiar as the robin's whistle heralding spring. Am I too fat to be loved? Do people think I'm dumb when I speak out? Mistakenly, we feel unique in our struggles with our fears of inadequacy, thus we fail to find comfort among friends and strangers who share our selected fears.
If we could understand our sameness with others, we'd be able to feel the gentle urging within to acknowledge their presence, their smiles, and their messages, which are assuredly meant for our ears only. Their desire, like our own, is for the promise of love.
Unconditional love wants expression; pass it around and watch it return tenfold.
Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
Go within every day and find the inner strength so that the world will not blow your candle out.
- Katherine Dunham
DAILY REFLECTION:
Unconditional love corresponds to one of the deepest longings, not only of the child, but of every human being.
- Erich Fromm
Feeling the need to be perfect to ensure we'll be loved is as familiar as the robin's whistle heralding spring. Am I too fat to be loved? Do people think I'm dumb when I speak out? Mistakenly, we feel unique in our struggles with our fears of inadequacy, thus we fail to find comfort among friends and strangers who share our selected fears.
If we could understand our sameness with others, we'd be able to feel the gentle urging within to acknowledge their presence, their smiles, and their messages, which are assuredly meant for our ears only. Their desire, like our own, is for the promise of love.
Unconditional love wants expression; pass it around and watch it return tenfold.
Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
August 14
This is posted from the "Today's Hope" site of Alanon.
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another.
- William James
DAILY REFLECTION:
We believe in Human Ecology, the understanding and care of human beings as whole persons in light of their relationship to God, themselves, their families, and the society in which they live.
- The Philosophy of Human Ecology
The philosophy of Human Ecology covers all three aspects of our recovery: body, mind, and spirit.
We know that taking care of our bodies is essential to recovery. That means eating properly, exercising as much as we can, and not abusing ourselves physically.
Taking care of our minds is also important. We are trying to make choices that enhance our recovery, not diminish it. This includes the things we read, watch, and listen to. We seek out education and positive affirmation. We go to meetings. We gather with others who share our vision.
Spirituality is the common thread through all of this, for without it we are lost. Our spiritual search is our effort to improve our conscious contact with God. Through this search comes harmony of body, mind, and spirit.
Today let me remember the principles of Human Ecology. They provide a simple reminder of where I've been and where I am going.
Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another.
- William James
DAILY REFLECTION:
We believe in Human Ecology, the understanding and care of human beings as whole persons in light of their relationship to God, themselves, their families, and the society in which they live.
- The Philosophy of Human Ecology
The philosophy of Human Ecology covers all three aspects of our recovery: body, mind, and spirit.
We know that taking care of our bodies is essential to recovery. That means eating properly, exercising as much as we can, and not abusing ourselves physically.
Taking care of our minds is also important. We are trying to make choices that enhance our recovery, not diminish it. This includes the things we read, watch, and listen to. We seek out education and positive affirmation. We go to meetings. We gather with others who share our vision.
Spirituality is the common thread through all of this, for without it we are lost. Our spiritual search is our effort to improve our conscious contact with God. Through this search comes harmony of body, mind, and spirit.
Today let me remember the principles of Human Ecology. They provide a simple reminder of where I've been and where I am going.
Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
