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Overwhelmed

Old 02-19-2014, 01:26 PM
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Overwhelmed

Hi all! Lately I have been having these awful feelings of dread and just being overwhelmed in general. I have been making time for exercise and stretching. I am currently battling some torn tendons in my elbow (basically bursitis) and it's keeping me off court and out of yoga class. I have been hiking, though, and doing whatever endorphin release I can that fits my schedule, LOL.

Homeschooling my learning disabled teen is really pressing in on me and wearing me out during the day. He's working on a long creative writing assignment, his first literary analysis, for a writing class from his homeschool co-op and I'm about to jump off a bridge because of my frustration with him.

He's a great kid, he just can't string his thoughts together well and struggles with time management and executive function skills. There are days when I'm more patient than others and today is NOT one of them. He was sick yesterday, throwing up all morning, so we've lost yesterday and we're trying to catch up today.

My AH is home this week, no travel for him. He has worked from home for the past 15 years so basically we don't get a healthy break from each other until one of us travels. My house is a mess, the dust is an inch thick, and I'm recovering from having family in town for 10 days, too.

I wanted to make homemade chicken pot pie tonight because I have chicken I need to use up, but I really just want to take a nap. Which is funny, because I never take naps and probably couldn't fall asleep even if I tried, LOL. I just say that because I feel I need to escape. I went to a meeting last night and I went to 2 meetings late last week, too, just trying to center myself back in my recovery work and trying to get back on track with my mental health, etc.

Anyway, I just needed to vent. Anyone else care to commiserate?
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Old 02-19-2014, 01:32 PM
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Have your son write each individual thought out on a note card (index card) and then put them together little by little.
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Old 02-19-2014, 01:34 PM
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I'm sorry if I'm sidetracking here but one of my kids had one heckuvatime writing at one point, too. For him, it was an issue of fine motor skills, but I can imagine there can be other delays/learning disabilities too that can have the same effect: It gets frustrating when you can't write as fast as you think. I'm sure you're all hooked up with support systems and therapists and stuff for his learning disability (you just seem to be "that" kind of mom, who digs till you find what he needs!) but if not, I know there's quite a few ideas out there on how to work through writing difficulties...

I'm in another place in my life than you are, but I can relate to the exhaustion. A friend of mine who went through an ugly ugly divorce said the first nine months, she did nothing but work and sleep. 10, 11, 12 hours a night, and still woke up tired. I've thought about her a lot in the past six months because that's been my life, too. I think sometimes we underestimate how exhausting emotional stress is on our bodies.

My go-to solution is always lowering my expectations of myself. So my house may be a wreck and we may eat frozen pizza and cereal for a week and the kids may get to spend waaaaaay more time on their computers than I like them to... but sometimes, a mom's gotta do what a mom's gotta do. I hope you can get some rest!
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Old 02-19-2014, 01:39 PM
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Adult ADD here *waving*

If I go through something I have written and then write out the first sentence in each paragraph as an outline, I can begin to see where my organization has gotten off track. I'll start be correcting this very basic outline, then fleshing out the additional points under each main point.

Just something that works for me....

So sorry you are feeling a bit out of synch right now!
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Old 02-19-2014, 01:55 PM
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Originally Posted by Seren View Post
Adult ADD here *waving*

If I go through something I have written and then write out the first sentence in each paragraph as an outline, I can begin to see where my organization has gotten off track. I'll start be correcting this very basic outline, then fleshing out the additional points under each main point.

Just something that works for me....

So sorry you are feeling a bit out of synch right now!
Me too! I have ADD but this is more of a processing issue for him. His neuropsychologist basically says it's more about 'how' he processes information and spits it back out. He truly cannot think at times and it kills him when he knows what he wants to say but can't pull the information the front of his brain.

I was an English minor in college, was planning on being a writer/editor as a career. This is hard for me to watch him struggle because writing comes so easy to me. Unfortunately, teaching it is a whole new ball game, LOL! I can sit there and write it for him, but that would be way too much enabling even for me, haha!

The good news is: he has come a long way in just the past few months. He can write simpler things and does a very good key word outline. This particular assignment is just a difficult one. Also, I love the fact that teachers allow kids to type assignments now because his handwriting is slow and atrocious. He has a tic where he shakes his right hand every few seconds and it kills me to watch him try to write. His head shaking tic and eye rolling is hard, too, but he somehow works through them while doing his work.
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Old 02-19-2014, 02:04 PM
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Listen to your body...take that nap!! I usually have one night after work every other week where my body is telling me it needs sleep and I've learned that if I take that nap (20 min to 1 hr), I can function so much better.

I also agree with Amy...lower the expectations of yourself. You can always raise them again later.
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Old 02-19-2014, 02:23 PM
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I agree with lilamy and caryon. Your only one woman! Like they said pick your battles! Freeze the chicken, dust next week(it will wait) get thru the day then take a nice hot bath with epsom salt and candles!!! Dont forget to be kind to yourself!
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Old 02-19-2014, 03:01 PM
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the beauty of DUST is....it stays where it lays....so if you don't get to it today, it will be there tomorrow. if you don't get to it til next week, it will STILL be there! sort of gives the place an antique feel!

i love choublak's idea about the notecards as a tool for your son, one idea, one card. brilliant! and the world will NOT end if the dumb assignment doesn't get done today. it's ok LIZ, go take a nap. we'll make sure the world continues to spin on it's axis, the sun rises and sets, and the bird do not fall from the sky while you sleep. you can be back in charge, but not until your nap young lady!
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Old 02-19-2014, 03:09 PM
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the beauty of DUST is....it stays where it lays....so if you don't get to it today, it will be there tomorrow. if you don't get to it til next week, it will STILL be there! sort of gives the place an antique feel!
Love it!!!
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Old 02-19-2014, 03:36 PM
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Just throwing out a suggestion as I have no knowledge - would something like Dragon Speak possibly help you son with regard to his writing?

((((Lizatola))))

Can you hire a maid service for a one time clean?

I am a list maker and will list everything I need/want to get done. I find gerat satisfaction crossing items off. I may only get the dresser dusted today, but I can cross that off the list!

BTW I never complete my list becsuse there is ALWAYS something to do.
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Old 02-19-2014, 03:54 PM
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I just want say you are an amazing women & deserve a great big pat on the back.
Leave the housework, take care of yourself & rest if you need too.
Hugs.
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Old 02-19-2014, 04:06 PM
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Originally Posted by AnvilheadII
the beauty of DUST is....it stays where it lays....
Well, until you turn the ceiling fan on for the first time in a while and then it's snowing in your bedroom
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Old 02-19-2014, 05:11 PM
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Originally Posted by Rosiepetal View Post
I just want say you are an amazing women & deserve a great big pat on the back.
Leave the housework, take care of yourself & rest if you need too.
Hugs.
Thank you. And, thank you all for the support.

I did wind up making chicken teriyaki for dinner. I got a second wind, as usual.

I'm truly way too wrapped up in what my alcoholic is doing, too, and I would love to find a way to stop spending so much mental energy on HIM. I know that's part of the problem too. Well, AH is out tonight for a few hours so I'm going to enjoy my TV time and get some laundry done and maybe, just maybe, finish that book I was reading!
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Old 02-19-2014, 05:40 PM
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Well, until you turn the ceiling fan on for the first time in a while and then it's snowing in your bedroom

best not to turn on the fan! when the weather is half-azzed decent here, I will open the front door, take our battery powered leaf blower and stand there and blow all the floaties OUT the door! then I go to the back upper deck door and do the same thing! LOL
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Old 02-20-2014, 06:47 AM
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((Liz))

a great friend in recovery said she learned a wonderful lesson about dust - it is a great place to leave notes to herself
So she writes notes on her dusty furniture - to remind herself to laugh, smile, love, dream, hope and enjoy

According to an episode of CSI - a large part of dust is made of up of dead skin - which means that you have a lot living going on in your home ~ what a blessing!

Take a deep breathe and enjoy what you can!

PINK HUGS!!
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Old 02-20-2014, 09:06 AM
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Originally Posted by lizatola View Post
I'm truly way too wrapped up in what my alcoholic is doing, too, and I would love to find a way to stop spending so much mental energy on HIM. I know that's part of the problem too.
Please excuse me for not being caught up on everything around here. I've not been logging in very often.

I must have missed the thread where you decided not to separate? Seems to me that would have been a great way to stop spending so much mental energy on him. You know--out of sight out of mind.

You talk of wishing for a break from each other, but you still live together? Why? I'm not judging, just wondering.

L
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