positivechang

My AH has just been arrested for punching me in the nose twice in our living. He then threatened to "rip me into teeny tiny pieces." I am horrified. The only positive about this (if there is one) is my sweet baby boy was taking a nap in his room. The neighbors saw and heard everything. They called 911. Now, I am sitting here in the aftermath wondering if he broke my nose...wondering who do I call? What do I do now? I have no job. I don't know whether to call his family or mine first. I don't want to tell anyone but I do. I'm lost!!

hopeful4

Sweetie...first if you need medical help go get it. If your nose may be broken you need to have it mended ASAP.

I also encourage you to be open and honest to both sides of the family. He did this to you, you do not have to be ashamed, he should be ashamed. So happy the neighbors called 911, no one deserves that. Also so glad that your baby did not see his mother being abused. I hope you follow through and do what you need to do to protect you and your baby. Those threats with physical violence should be taken very serious and should not be tolerated. Awful...just awful. And if the police did not take photos, take them right now...yourself.

Gentle hugs. You are not alone and can make it through this. Call the domestic violence hotline. Take help from where you can get it. Rely on family, do what you have to do.

Keep posting, you are not alone in this. We will gently hold your hand every step of the way. Hold your baby tight and know that you have to protect him and get away from this very scary situation.

God Bless!

JustAGirl1971

I'm sorry If you're afraid your nose is broken then your first priority should be medical care. If your nose is not broken, then your first priority is coming up with a plan to keep you and your little boy safe. When trying to decide who to call first, I'd start with whoever you trust the most who is also able to help (someone nearby.) JMO but I'd let him worry about telling his family. Just focus on you & your baby. Be safe.

suki44883

I would suggest getting to a doctor or a neighborhood clinic and getting yourself checked out. I assume the police made a report of the abuse, correct? Next, I would arrange for a restraining order against him so he cannot come within a certain distance of you or your son.

After you get checked out and get the restraining order, you might contact your family and see if they can help you. I'm sorry this happened. ((((HUGS))))

Fandy

if you go to the hospital ER and tell them what happened it will also be further documentation. I hope you do tell your family and they come to support you, help you through this so you are not alone. I agree with the restraining order.

let's hope he sits and cannot post bail if there is any. was he drunk when he did this?

hopeful4

Also..the neighbors called 911. They obviously care. If possible ask for their assistance if you need it with the baby or watching out for you.

Hugs!

PippiLngstockng

I am so sorry that happened. I have been in your shoes and you may have a lot of adrenaline pumping through you right now.

You need medical care. With adrenaline it is impossible to realize how hurt you may be because you won't feel the pain the same way.

Please go to the ER or doctor/emergency clinis at once.

Do not take this lightly. You will regret it down the road. Please believe me. My AH started getting violent in 2008 and it took me four years to begin to understand that it would happen more and more regularly and more seriously until I stopped finding excuses and acting like the abuse was less serious than it really was.

Whether to involve family...if you have someone who you can really count on, do reach out for help.

Also, there is a national domestic violence hotline that I really recommend. Let them walk through the next steps with you.

Please feel free to pm me. Take good loving care of yourself. You are not alone.

suki44883

Here is the number to the National Domestic Violence Hotline:

1-800-799-7233

They can help you sort through all this.

lillamy

Yeah. What Suki said.

Listen, babe -- things will work out. Just please, please, please take care of you and your baby and do not let this man back into your life again. You don't have a job but you can find one if you're alive. If you're dead, you're no good to your baby or yourself.

I'm sorry if that sounds harsh but I've lived with an abuser and I know the fear of leaving. Please let the domestic violence folks help you out here. They will walk by you through all of this and it WILL get better. Your life WILL get better.

And it was NOT YOUR FAULT that he hit you. No matter what he may have told you, no matter what you may feel or think, no matter what anyone may say to you. He hit you because he chose to. Because it meant more to him to hit you than to respect you as a human being.

Seren

Oh honey, I'm so sorry he hurt you! You in no way deserved it...no way at all!!!

Please seek medical help for your nose...and please call the DV hotline. They are fantastic people who man those phone lines. They are loving, supportive, and will help you get the resources you need to take care of yourself and that precious little one.

Sending hugs! You have nothing to be ashamed of

BoxinRotz

If you lived fine without him before you ever met him, rest assured, you'll live great without him!

Don't ever feel dependent on a man! Especially an abusive one!!! Even if he was the best husband in the world... He could fall off the face of the earth into his grave for whatever reason and you'd still be here. Point is that no one should be left in a situation wondering WTH do I do now? when the other shoe drops. Become self sufficient. Hard? YES! But it's possible!

And go get checked out. Take pics and document it. When you feel better, go to the local district court press civil charges on him and sue him for pain and suffering. It's a start... You can usually collect for medical bills and double it for pain n suffering.

ladyscribbler

Praying for you. I've been in your shoes, but I waited (too long) to leave. There's some great advice here. Do whatever you need to do to get yourself safe. Leaving won't get any easier, and the abuse will get worse if you stay with this man. Save yourself and your sweet baby more heartbreak. Take care and best wishes. Thanks so much for posting.

amy55

Positive chang, Are the police putting a restraining order on him? Usually they do that when they arrest someone, but make sure that they do, or file one yourself. Under no circumstance pay his bail. Let someone else do it, if they must. Get a doctor to check you out, or the ER depending on how bad. Take pics, document everything. Did the police take a statement from your neighbors? Call the DV hotline, they can help you with many things, including shelter.

Can't really advice you whether you should tell you family. You would be the best judge of that.

The reason I say to document everything and do as much as you can to protect yourself is for yourself and for your child. You may need documentation of this later on, or now, depending on what you intend to do.

I do strongly suggest DV hotline.

I was in your situation, and I didn't report a lot of things. Abuse does not get better. It also progresses. Once he put his hands on you that way, it will get worse.

I really do feel for you.

Keep posting here, many people here care about you.

((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))

Carlotta

Same here, you are not alone and please do follow the suggestions and do not feel ashamed that he hit you. It is NOT your fault.

RhodeIsland

be aware of a runny nose which seems to develop after a good hit to the nose. this could be a sign of a serious problem.

I second the ER suggestion for documentation purposes, as well as making sure nothing is broken. Facial injuries are nothing to mess around w/.

dandylion

RhodeIsland--As a medical person who has worked in neurology---Your warning is very appropriate!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!

dandylion

Recovering2

You've received good advice, get care for yourself and a restraining order to protect you moving forward. Call the DV hotline, get their help so you're not figuring this out alone.

I am sooooo sorry this happened to you. Please know that we're all out here praying for you, worrying for you, caring for you. You can get through this, and we'll be here every step of the way.

NWGRITS

Oh, sweetheart, I hope you've gotten medical help and set the ball rolling on getting help from a DV center, or at least family. There should never be any question about telling someone. He doesn't think you will tell, because you love him and don't want to get him in trouble. He's expecting you to keep quiet while you remain his personal punching bag. YOU DO NOT DESERVE THIS. Nobody should be treated this way. This is not love. Please, please, please get help for yourself and your son. (((Hugs)))

jarp

I don't have any further advice but I just wanted to say I am so sorry that this happened to you. You are in no way to blame, you are not at fault, and you don't need to feel any shame. Let your family (on both sides) know, and let them help you at this time.

thislonelygirl

im sorry he did that to you. I know the feeling you describe....sitting there wondering what the heck just happened like it hasnt even sunk in yet.like a dream though i havent had my nose punched i can imagine the horror and shock you are feeling. You did not deserve that. no one does and you didn't do anything wrong. There was nothing you could have done differently . he would have abused you regardless. Abusive people do. I know your probably feeling guilty that you stuck around until it got to this point but don't. you can't control what someone else does, says or how they think. The first thing is to process everything, then seek medical help,Call who you need too and Talk to who you need too.