he did it....he punched me

Old 11-28-2013, 08:54 PM
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Hi pc,
Just fyi, you are probably having some ptsd from the incident with your A. Being on high alert, jumpiness, sensitivity to unexpected sounds, nightmares. You just might want to be aware of this if you aren't already and expect this might last for some time.

I had a bad case once from surviving a violent incident with a stranger. It really changed me. I get it now from AH's abuse. Makes it hard to do anything sometimes but it helps me to recognize when I am experiencing symptoms.

When AH was violent with me and took off, I was really worried about him, just like you are worried about your A. I thought he had gone crazy and might harm himself.

He didn't. That was me unable to stop being a caregiver. He went right into lying and denying. I was the one I needed to worry about!

So you, too. Give your full concern and care to the one who needs and deserves it right now. You.
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Old 11-29-2013, 04:39 AM
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Hello positivechang,

Have you tried the VINELink system? It's a nationwide victim notification system that you can search to find out if 'your' offender is still in custody, but you can also sign up for e-mail or other notification when the person is released. Might be worth checking out.

Here's the link:

https://www.vinelink.com/vinelink/initMap.do

Mr. S and I used this during his son's fun-filled Crack days...
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Old 11-29-2013, 07:26 AM
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Pippi- it does sound like PTSD for sure. I am sorry to hear about your past experience. That sounds frightening! What things have helped you? I really need to get some counseling, and maybe talk to a doctor about some sleep medication. If I don't get sleep soon I just might break-down.

Seren, thank you for letting me know about that! I have now signed up for alerts. It will help me to also stop compulsively looking at the roster for updates.
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Old 11-29-2013, 10:48 AM
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Pc, I moved to the other side of the state from where away from where I had been attacked. Actually, moving across the ocean really helped tremendously, 23 years later! Crazy, but completely true.

I also finally started taking klonopin for the anxiety and it rewired my body chemistry sufficiently to give it up without any more panic attacks. I think I was on it less than 12 months.

Counselling didn't really help much. Getting a good job and restarting my life did.

But then I met AH and little did I know what I would be in for many years later with him, of all people.

So be careful, pc, because you are vulnerable. Lean on yourself and love yourself extra well.
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Old 11-29-2013, 11:55 AM
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Oh, another thing that really helped with the ptsd. I took up an extreme sport pretty seriously. Putting myself consciously in a position that was really scary and learning to accept, focus in spite of and move beyond fear was really rewarding. When you do brave things, you realize you are brave.
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Old 11-29-2013, 07:53 PM
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Hey positivechang, How are you doing? Is the swelling going down?

(((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))
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Old 11-29-2013, 08:08 PM
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Those are great suggestions, Pippi. I wish I had the option to move far away, bt at this point in time I just can't. I can imagine me atleast moving out of this place would help so much. I like the extreme sport idea! It sounds very theraputic.

Hi Amy, the swelling has gone, thank goodness. I am glad I didn't get any black eyes like they thought. A certain spot on the bridge of my nose is still painful. Must be more bruised than other spots. I keep looking at the evidence photos, I need to submit, and thinking they don't look bad. I just want them to be taken seriously. Ya know? I need to stop comparing other peoples incidents to mine. They are all horrific.
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Old 11-29-2013, 08:16 PM
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What you went through is traumatizing. Don't compare, don't ever do that. I always thought I was the lucky one. The emotional abuse sometimes is worse then the physical. Yes I had black eyes, but that wasn't what hurt me the most. It was the loss of trust. I'm here for you.

((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))

amy
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Old 11-29-2013, 08:20 PM
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I agree, Amy, I feel the emotional much more through the day than my physical. I am here for you too! Thank you so much.
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Old 11-29-2013, 08:24 PM
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Just keep coming back, we are all here for you. Just love yourself, and love your baby. I know right now this must be h3ll for you, but you are strong, stronger then you know.

amy
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Old 11-30-2013, 04:11 AM
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PChange. I do wish I had something to add and I am heartsick and also furious for you. What I am amazed about this morning, is the amazing bright people on this board with fantastic incites and ways to actually point you in the right direction. All I can offer is a hug, but I promise in my heart, it's a really good hug.
And one for the boards members too!
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Old 11-30-2013, 08:20 AM
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Amy, h3ll would be quite the word for it. I can't think of another adjective I can write on here that would be more fitting. Thank you for saying I am strong. Its amazing to me I have made it these 6 days.

Booo, thank you for posting on my thread and giving your support. It is so valuable to me. I can feel the great hug. Yes, everyone on here deserves one for their kindness and insight. Hugs to you!
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Old 11-30-2013, 03:59 PM
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You are strong, look at all the sh!t you dealt with already and your survived. You are stronger then you think you are.

I also thought I was weak, I wasn't. I survived, came out on the other side, faced all of my fears of the unknown, and I am actually getting "me" back.

You are stronger then me, because you are looking at this a lot sooner then I was willing to.

You found great support here, and if you ever feel yourself faltering, come here and lean on us for awhile. We're all here for you.
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Old 12-01-2013, 06:53 AM
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positivechang - what is happening to you is very serious and you are brave and strong for doing everything you've done so far. Keep taking care of yourself and keep coming back. Let us know how you're doing today. We care.
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Old 12-01-2013, 07:24 AM
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Thank you Springs! In all honesty I am struggling. I don't think six nights of no consistent sleep is helping either. Yesterday, I was in line at the gas station with my son when this man in front of me kept staring and looking back at me. Really intense like. I thought he was going to assault me so I moved waaay back to "protect" myself. I keep having these episodes in other scenarios. Rent is due and I have nothing.I am lost on how to come up with that. The courts tell me nothing about the case. Then, I felt a tiny bone crack in the bridge of my nose I need to get xrayed again. Some of his family is making excuses for him..."he's sick, he needs help." He will miss our son's first birthday. He will miss xmas. I just needed to vent. Thank you for letting me.
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Old 12-01-2013, 07:45 AM
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if his family is making excuses for him, perhaps they will help him by paying your rent???

they know you have a young child and are not working, I would tell them that he spent all the rent $$.

Can you get help from your family to get the month's bills paid? Can the DV advocate get you some emergency funding to pay your housing and utilities? food stamps? You need to tell people that you need help.
your nose is going to be painful, but a closed nasal reduction is a very quick outpatient surgery (I fell in the parking garage at work and smashed mine), they will fix it however and you will be able to breathe properly.
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Old 12-01-2013, 07:55 AM
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Originally Posted by positivechang View Post
My AH has just been arrested for punching me in the nose twice in our living. He then threatened to "rip me into teeny tiny pieces."
this is something that I post around here (not very often)

my thoughts are usually for ones to seek Christian counseling

but

yours is a different case being abuse of your mind, body and soul

do everything that you can do so as to protect yourself and family

protection order would be first

MM

Last edited by DesertEyes; 12-01-2013 at 09:34 AM. Reason: Fixed broken quote
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Old 12-01-2013, 08:04 AM
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Hi Fandy! His dad asked me on Monday how much rent was and when it was due. I responded to his question. He response: "well, this is a bad time for everyone. I don't think anyone has any extra money." Ummm, ok...I never asked you pay my rent but I get the hint now. I was able to sign up for food stamps. Although, due to the Holiday week everything has been closed. So, Monday I will be contacting as many organizations as I can. Your fall sounds so painful! Thank you for letting me know about the surgery option.

MM, thank you. I agree that I need some counseling. I think a Christian based therapist would be best for me too. Luckily, my husband has signed the protection order the Police Department put in place. He is still on lockdown until his court case.
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Old 12-01-2013, 08:22 AM
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Hi positivechang;
If the rent situation stays impossible, would it be an idea to move into a women's shelter with the baby for a few months?
You would have protection and most likely they would help with childcare, etc. so you could look for something to bring in income or wait for subsidy things to kick in.

You are really brave and amazing pc, and you will come out of this stronger and better than ever.
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Old 12-01-2013, 08:25 AM
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Originally Posted by positivechang View Post

I think a Christian based therapist would be best for me too.
I think that would be a great thing for you

my wife many years ago went to a local church for counseling due to my drinking
and
because of the insane things I was doing
in time I also got to go
we did exactly what the church Elder asked of us
((both were willing))
that may be a long term goal for you ??
but
for now just for you possibly a church Pastor or Elder for some sound moral advice
offered for free at all solid local churches

MM
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