RhodeIsland

Oh.. thanks.

the instructor who lectured on the "treatment and care of patients with complex neurological disorders and spinal injuries" is smiling right now, and she doesn't even know the reason.

I graduate in the spring w/ an ADN, then I can take the NCLEX.

positivechang

You are all such an amazing bunch! Thank you for the advice while I am in the midst of this nightmare. The police did get statements from neighbors, and there is a no-contact order on him currently. He is looking at one of his charges a Class-C Felony. That's up to 5 years correct? I thought they were going to charge him with assault as well. I think he will be locked up atleast overnight

I went to an urgent care for x-rays. No significant break, but apparently I will have two black eyes tomorrow. My entire face hurts so bad. What does a drip mean? I took photos of broken vessels, swollen bridge, and crooked tip. MIL knows she had the audacity to tell me know to worry about my family, and just go home and play with my sweet boy. Ridiculous! This is a serious issue. I will be going to a dv center tomorrow. Trying to not future trip too much. I am more than angry at him!

suki44883

Many times, blood is thicker than water. His parents may very well try to minimize what happened. Don't let them! Tell your own family if you want to. They are YOUR blood and will put your interests first.

I'm so sorry this happened. Do whatever you need to do to protect yourself and your son. This sort of thing should NEVER happen, but, all too many times, it does. Don't minimize it. Use your anger to propel you make the changes that need to be made to protect yourself. ((((HUGS))))

thislonelygirl

Yeaaaaaa, Mil's can be like that(go figure their kids are horrrible). My mil would take up for ah no matter what even in a violent situation. I wouldn't expect your mil to be someone to talk too about this.she's not going to see the seriousness of the situation. Hoping for the best for you.

amy55

I'm so glad that they got statements from the neighbors and did issue a no contact order. He should have a court date for the assault on you also.

I remember when my ex hit me in the forehead. I had a big lump there, went to the ER, police took me. Had to have cat scans done, and ice on my head. The next 2 days it looked even worse. It was like the blood from the bruise dripped down to my eye. My eye was almost swollen shut the next day, and I had a black eye. Had to go to the police station 2 days after this, they looked at my bruise, asked me if he came back and hit me again.

Just document everything, then document some more. I don't know what your plans are for now, but this documentation will help with the child custody. He is dangerous.

Wish I could give you IRL hugs.

Remember to keep the ice on !!!!!!!

(((((((((hugs))))))))))

Here for you

amy


PS - When you talk to DV tomorrow find out about a DV advocate. Your H will be charged with domestic violence, (or hopefully will), and it would be a lot easier for your to have a DV advocate with you. You can also find out about DV advocates at the court.

peaceofpi

So sorry you have gone through this. I pray that you (and your baby) never have to face such abuse ever again.

Sometimes focusing on what we can change (a plan of action) can help us from dwelling on what we can't (MIL's opinion). Glad you got to the doctor's and are going to a DV center.

Booo

((((((((((((Hugs))))))))))))). I am so thankful you are getting help. Take good care, your baby needs a Mama.

SpouseRecovery

Seek medical attention ASAP if needed. Speak with your local DVAS, domestic violence assistance services, and file for a DVPO immediately (Domestic Violence Protection Order). DVAS can help you fill out the paperwork and file it with the courthouse, it's all free. If possible stay somewhere else until DVPO is filed and/or you know where he ended up and for how long. When the adrenaline wears off, the reality really hits you. It's hard but you must remain logical and level-headed. I know it is hard during such an emotionally stressful and scary time. Seek out support. People will help in the ways that they can--accept it. Don't be ashamed. Embrace the fear you have right now because it will give the will to push forward with this. Think of yourself and your child. Think of what you want your child to do as an adult if he were in this situation. I know it's hard to be strong when you feel so vulnerable. I know sometimes it might just easier to forgive and forget...stay strong.

PippiLngstockng

Definitely don't waste energy on MIL or your A right now. You are getting great advice here and good job for doing so much already.

Photo your face with the black eyes when this happens.

I was beaten in the face (by a total stranger) once and it was the second day or maybe third when my face was twice its normal wisth and my eyes were swollen shut. That is the photo you want. Have someone like a doctor take the photo. The dv people could advise you on this.

I sound so cold but I am freaked out for you. Don't let anyone try to diminish the abuse. Stay strong in yourself and better days will then surely follow.

LoveMeNow

Please know you are in my prayers.

amy55

Hi, I just wanted to expand a little on my first black eye. I was also charged that time with domestic violence because I bit him during the attack. I felt guilty, so even though the state put a RO on him, I did go to the bank, got the $2000 for his bail, and my daughter bailed him out. He was court ordered to go to abuse no more, and also alcohol treatment. Each time he went to any of those meetings, when he was leaving them, he called me to apologize, but in the short ride home, everything was my fault, and the verbal abuse, and emotional abuse escalated because he was really trying not to hit me.

Within 2 years, he gave me another black eye. Since he went to court on the first, and he had a record, he pleaded with me not to call 911 and to lie to everyone. I didn't want him to lose his job, so I did. As soon as I did, I lied to my son who came up for the weekend, as soon as he left, 11:00 am, he was drunk and he was at it again. He was screaming at me that I can't make him stay with me because of that black eye, I told him, I didn't want him to stay with me, to just leave, he wouldn't. He verbally and emotionally abused me that entire day. I should have left, I didn't. I left for the first time 2 months later.

Left for the last time 6 months later. He just got worse and worse.

I don't know why I am telling you this, other then to tell you don't believe anything that he says, I really don't think that people who are abusive know any other way to survive without being abusive.

We are all here with you.

PippiLngstockng

Some of us see how keeping things hushed up and accepting the unacceptable just brought on more years of worse abuse and harmed the children. The longer it goes on the harder it is to get out. Accepting the unacceptable changes a person.

Seren

Good morning, positivechang;

How are you this morning? Were you able to get through to the counselors at the DV hotline?

Know that you continue in my thoughts and prayers! Remember....no shame, not your fault, you deserve much better treatment!!

S

Springs

Just chiming in with support. We'll be here for you through this. You can do it. You are in my prayers.

MissFixit

hi there, hugs to you.

Pippi makes a good point, "the longer it goes on the harder it is to get out. accepting the unacceptable changes a person." especially in abusive situations. our self esteem gets worn down and we believe the lies that keep us down. you have a chance to end the abuse for yourself and your baby.

i am so sorry you are in that situation. how are things today?

Carlotta

Just sending u a morning hug from my cell. I hope you are ok. If the day after anxiety gets too much remember to stay in the moment and breathe deeply

Lyssy

I am so sorry you are going through this. My prayers are with you and your son.

I suggest reading "Why Does He do That" (Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men: Lundy Bancroft: 9780425191651: Amazon.com: Books).

I know that it is a bit of a hectic time right now and reading probably isn't a priority right now, but when things settle a bit, please consider it. It was very helpful to me.

LoveMeNow

Thinking and praying for you this morning. (((((Hugs)))))

hopeful4

I too and thinking of you and saying many prayers for you and your family!

FireSprite

Also thinking of you & praying for you today!!!