LostinBA

Here is another question about boundaries. Last week I assisted my AW in getting the phone changed over to her name. Texted her the password so she could do what was needed, and now she is asking me again for the password. Is this something I should provide, or am I being controlling in no longer answering her texts?? Thanks.

Tuffgirl

I would simply ask her what she needed this time. If she has already change the phone to her name, what does she need the password for? Ask it nicely...not mean or snide...and see how she responds. If she blows up at you - it was meant to start a conversation. If she is kind in return - she probably simply needs it again.

You are doing good, Lost! ; )

LostinBA

Tuffgirl. Thanks for the advice. I went ahead and replied to the text and asked her what she needed and if I could I would be happy to help. I'll let you know if I get a response, but I'm not expecting one. Thanks for the assistance.

LostinBA

Well it's almost a new year and I'm ready for it. Following my couselors advice I have completed my goodbye letters to the AW. The first one is not for her reading, it lists out all of the things I hated about the marriage, the pain she has caused, etc. and the good things I will take from the marriage (memory wise). This one will be attached to a helium balloon on Saturday 12/31/11 at 3:00 PM, so if you see it someday you will know it was from me!

The second letter is a goodbye letter to her. It lists some of the good memories I will take from the marriage, wishes her the best in the future, and say's my goodbyes. This one will also be sent to her via email at 3:00 on 12/31/11.

Then it is off to have dinner with friends and family. I have rented a couple of funny movies and will enjoy New Years Eve with my dog, movies, and peace. That just leaves next year to sign the divorce papers if they are done correctly, finish up the financial nightmare that was created, and enjoying myself. Should be a much better year.

LostinBA

Part one of my Goodbye is finished. I realized that I wouldn't be at work on the 31st, so I sent the goodbye email today. Tomorrow, I am taking the dog to the park to play and will let the balloon go. Will be the end to a bad year, but I will start the new year off with a clean slate, no bad memories or thoughts. Hope everyone has a wonderful New Year, safe and happy.

Nirvana1

Hey man hope you are doing well. IMO the quicker you go no contact with her, no matter what, the quicker you will get over everything. I've not been in your same spot but have been crushed a few times. Until I went zero contact I still had to deal with some sort of pain or agony. Enjoy the new year by working on your new life and don't let the ex suck anymore life out of you!

LostinBA

If any of you find a letter with a whole bunch of problems & issues on it. You can go ahead and burn it. I have completed the second part of my saying it's over. I feel free to move forward now. No more fear, no more anger, no more lost expectations. Happy New Year to you all.