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What do non-drinkers do for fun?

Old 09-30-2011, 11:05 AM
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What do non-drinkers do for fun?

My wife is fresh out of inpatient rehab. For the past 20 years EVERYTHING we did was alcohol related, centered, and driven. I just thought that was the way it was with everyone. Everyone I know it is. We are successful, mid 30's. What do non drinkers do for fun? Dinner and a movie? That gets old...Have a sitter for tomorrow night. We do live in a metropolitan area. Any suggestions welcome.
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Old 09-30-2011, 11:13 AM
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Museums are fun. Going to a park. Doing something active (riding a bike/going for a walk). Going to the theatre/opera/play. Festivals are great. My kids and I love to participate in fundraiser type events (walks, parties, etc). Volunteering at a charity is fun and helps with gratitude.

I personally like to do things that expand my mind, soul, and spirit Enjoy the night on the town! I hope you find something that you both enjoy!
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Old 09-30-2011, 11:14 AM
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Go to boxing class, go to al-anon / AA meetings, walk, shop, play games, play cards, go to sporting events, talk, visit friends and family, read, go to the library, go the the boardwalk bar-b-q on the grill, ride a bike, meditate, sing, play pool, play foosball, vidio games, chat on-line, talk on the phone, watch tv, go to plays, take part in a play, take a college course, take a fun class, and go to the beach.

The can do pretty much anything drinkers do except drink. The list is only limited by your imagination.
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Old 09-30-2011, 11:19 AM
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I don't remember when I last had a drink, and your question kind of stumped me... because I don't think I've equalled drinking with fun since college... (which was back when dinosaurs roamed the earth...).

Nothing I do involves drinking -- and I consider most of it "fun"... I've had to rediscover myself and my likes and dislikes after divorcing AXH (and actually having some time!), and I've done things like... rock climbing, kickboxing, bowling, volleyball, hiking, pottery, art classes, heck, I've even learned how to change the oil in my car. None of that sounds like a good date, probably, but the times I have done stuff like that with my significant other (a non-drinker), it's been a blast.
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Old 09-30-2011, 11:22 AM
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Everything you did before, only this time without alcohol.
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Old 09-30-2011, 11:27 AM
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Alone22 hit it on the head.

We go out and have lots of fun.

We've met w/ other AA couples for a family game night...it's lots of fun (even if at first mention i would rather have stuck a fork in my eye)..and it included the kids.

We've gone to bbq's.

Concerts, movies, dinner out...

we've even gone to bars...to watch a fight on ppv or to watch a band.. (I wouldn't recomend this so early...but later it's an option if she feels she can deal).
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Old 09-30-2011, 12:27 PM
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Everything is fun without alcohol!
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Old 09-30-2011, 01:07 PM
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Go on a hay ride at the apple orchard, and pick out some pumpkins.

Carve them and decorate.

There has to be a hayride somewhere or orchard.
Even if it is a little of a drive just enjoy each others company, and talk.
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Old 09-30-2011, 01:31 PM
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We enjoy the outdoors--bicycling, hiking, and walking, we spend time with our family & cats, we watch TV, go to movies, play on the computer, listen to music, play music. read, go to concerts, go to city-sponsored events, we sometimes travel on the weekends to check out cool places, we go out to eat, hang out with sober friends, talk, dance. We can do all the same things without drinking.
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Old 09-30-2011, 01:33 PM
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You could check out the Friday paper for events in your area. There should be listings for all kinds of things and also ads about things to do.
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Old 09-30-2011, 01:56 PM
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I run. I go hiking. I coach kids soccer. I'm a den leader. I take my kids to movies. I go to PTA meetings and hang out with other parents. I go to church. I shop. I go out to dinner (I just don't order drinks...)
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Old 09-30-2011, 02:13 PM
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Originally Posted by byrank View Post
My wife is fresh out of inpatient rehab. For the past 20 years EVERYTHING we did was alcohol related, centered, and driven. I just thought that was the way it was with everyone. Everyone I know it is. We are successful, mid 30's. What do non drinkers do for fun? Dinner and a movie? That gets old...Have a sitter for tomorrow night. We do live in a metropolitan area. Any suggestions welcome.
You've been given a number of good suggestions on here, but I think you already know that it's going to take a while to figure out how to have fun without alcohol.

I know exactly what you mean. Even though my ex was the alcoholic, I drank, too, and our social lives centered around his friend's bar and the people who went there. I had no idea everyone else my age at that time (20's and 30's) didn't close the bars on Friday night. One day a coworker mentioned that she went shopping when the mall opened on Saturday morning. I was like, "HUH????" Who is up that early on Saturday morning???"

Anyway, when you are used to centering your social life around alcohol, it takes a while to find things to do and enjoy life in other ways, but it can be done and life is so much better. I am alone now, and sometimes I think--no, I know--that I could easily make friends if I just go to the nearest bar and start hanging out...and I will end up with another alcoholic on my hands. So I go to the library, I hike, I do photography, I write...

Hey, photography is a good idea. Get a camera if you don't have one, and go look for good spots to take pics. That's something you can do together.

Try different things, but keep trying. Good luck.
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Old 09-30-2011, 02:28 PM
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I can totally relate to this post. There is a nervous energy when trying to do things sober. Everything is more intense and real. It does get easier, the longer that you go. I would say that shopping, cooking, and playing games took the front seat in our household. Good luck.
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Old 09-30-2011, 02:50 PM
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Huh, my AH was sober for 6 years. We would go on vacation and we had wonderful times with our 4 kids, who were mid-teens/early adult.

Since he relapsed 7 hears ago, our vacations are a lot different. Plus our kids are drinking age, so now, everything revolves around the "fun times" of drinking.

But a couple of my kids really miss the sober vacations, when we actually did stuff without drinking. We saw more, did more, experienced more, and no one wasted precious vacation mornings recovering.

When you're a couple you can make anything fun if you're together.
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Old 09-30-2011, 06:52 PM
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I totally understand what you're saying; I worry a little about this myself. My husband is in rehab now. Our social group doesn't revolve around keg parties and drinking games, but it does tend toward dinners out and fancy cocktails when everyone can get a sitter. I think it is going to take some time to adjust to my husband NOT drinking at those events.

I'm not a huge drinker, but I enjoy a cocktail or two. I'm going to need to think about whether I will drink or not -- in some ways, I understand that my having a drink or not shouldn't be the linchpin or his sobriety, but if I were on a strict diet, I might not appreciate it if he ordered a scrumptious dessert and ate it in front of me.

I expect our friends to be understanding -- and they have been, so far. But i also expect a little awkwardness as they navigate how they feel drinking around him or opting not to drink.

I like the ideas here. We've always enjoyed movies, and game nights make everyone groan and then up being really fun.

On another note, I question whether i will serve alcohol if I entertain at our house. I enjoy cooking and entertaining -- and our friends enjoy a couple of glasses of wine (as do I). We have not kept alcohol in the house in recent months, and I certainly don't plan to keep it around as a matter of course when my AH is home. But I don't like the idea of having a dinner party and not offering wine. I'm thinking I'll just go with a BYOB an encourage people to take it when they leave, or dump out whatever is left.

Thanks for raising this topic.

Kitty
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Old 09-30-2011, 06:57 PM
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Here are some of things which got fun after I quit drinking:

Go to a bar late and night and see how stupid all the drinkers look, and how loudly they talk. After 5 minutes it gets boring. It is a reminder that "euphoric recall" was at play more than true fun. (only recommended after a bit of time sober!)

Wake up in the morning and notice what it feels like to not have a hangover. Go for a walk. Call people you saw the day before and know exactly what you said to them. Look people in the eye and not be concerned that you offended them or embarrassed yourself.

Notice details which were previously blurry. Share feelings. Watch movies sober which you saw when drinking. It is amazing how much more there is to those movies!

One thing which shocked me when I quit drinking was how much of the world does not revolve around drinking. There's plenty to do!
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Old 09-30-2011, 07:02 PM
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camping, travel, comedy clubs, sailing, sporting events.

since, she's right out of rehab, Try and find AA and Al Anon meetings at the same location...
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Old 10-01-2011, 01:30 PM
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My Recovering Alcoholic Boyfriend (18 months) and I have so much fun doing many different things without alcohol.

We talk a lot, about everything. We go out to lovely dinners every where, and eat fabulous food, and share dessert, and go to the theater, concerts. We go for coffee sometimes. We have gone out to dinner with friends who drink (not until over 1 year of sobriety on his part), and we are fine. I do not drink when I am with him because there is no need to.

The only thing missing since we took alcohol out of the equation is tension and misery.
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Old 10-01-2011, 01:42 PM
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Take a class together, cook a meal together, play laser tag, play a board game, play an "adult" board game, paint the living room, go window shopping, go ice skating, play a computer game together, buy 10 different kinds of cheese and taste them together (ok maybe we're weird), go for a drive, have a picnic, make up a contest, go to the zoo.
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Old 10-01-2011, 02:05 PM
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I am trying to figure out what activities revolve around drinking. Wine-tasting and bar hopping are the only two I can think of.

Surely you must have done other things?
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