FiftyPence

You can scratch wine tasting.. you're supposed to spit it out after swirling it around haha...

skippernlilg

RABF and I used to play Strip Trivial Pursuit

Batting cages. My son and I went to the batting cages today for fun. I thought how much fun it would be to go to the cages with RABF and then get some frozen yogurt or go to Starbuck's or something.

Oooh, The Planetarium!! That sounds like fun!! LOVE that.

Or...the gardens here have a butterfly exhibit now.

Couples massage? That sounds GREAT.

There are a billion-jillion things to do!!

byrank

Thanks all. I know day to day stuff. I was thinking more adult night out stuff.

And those of you who arent and never were drinkers...We did all of that stuff. But EVERYTHING was drinking. It was just a different venue. Movies, dinner, sporting events, camping, casino, track, boating, vactions, hiking, cooking, bowling, golfing, baseball, softball, cards, board games, theater, symphony, hay rides, haunted houses...It was all just another excuse for drinking. Since we were 14 years old. I am looking to break old patterns, avoid old triggers, and start some new healthy memories. In the microcosm of our lives, that was normal. Not drinking was completely unheard of and unfathamable! We were young, partying, little responsibilty...4 kids later and things deteriorated quickly. I grew up.

Not sure what to talk about other than recovery or old hurts. It seems that has been all there is for a long while. Thanks for the input! We just did the dinner and a movie thing...Home by 11:00. Dream House-Not bad. Kept my attention!

Programmatic

Recently I spent a week at the beach with some friends.
Every morning I was able to get up and spend the entire day swimming, biking, kayaking, eating and lounging. No hangovers, no sleeping past noon, no arguments. One night we stayed up till 1am playing board games and listening to music. I was certain that was squarely in the realm of drinking only. We got up at 8:00 and were ready for our guided kayak trip at 9:00. Totally impossible if we had been drinking that late.

Life is better sober. I was a fool to think otherwise.

Willybluedog

I would serve wine specific to that party and send it home with your guests, you might also consider sparkling grape juice, I much prefer it to champagne or spakling wine.

byrank

I agree life is much better sober, but it is less exciting. Not that exciting is always a good thing, but it is exciting. I am looking into sky diving, bungee jumping to fill that void.

suki44883

Yeah, it's really exciting wrecking your car, getting arrested, having to go to court, going to probation, doing community service, paying thousands of dollars to people you don't even know, having a DUI on your record. Great fun.

onceuponatime2

Everything is more fun when an alcoholic isn't drinking. My AH ruins every occassion with his drinking..... picnics, birthdays, anniversaries, jobs, our marriage......
A party is definitely more fun without him throwing up, picking fights, and passing out.

byrank

I didnt say fun. Exciting. Big difference. Fun and exciting are 2 very different things. War is exciting. Terrible, but exciting. I know a former green beret, he says life in the real world is like watching a 13" black and white tv with the sound off compared to a 3d imax movie. Because the consequences are terrible and life threatening is the very definition of exciting. If you cant grasp this concept, you dont truely empathise with addicts.

nodaybut2day

Methinks the concept of "exciting" is entirely subjective. For some, excitement may simply revolve around trying a new activity, meeting new people or travelling to a place you haven't been to before. In your world view, it seems to include the notion of "living on the edge", or "walking on the wild side". Just because a person doesn't ascribe to your view of the concept doesn't mean that they do not empathize with addicts.

NYCDoglvr

I'll speak as a recovering alcoholic (20 years) and what my experience was. I couldn't have gotten sober on my own and owe my life to the support of other recovering alcoholics in AA. For the first six months or so, I focused on meetings, meetings, meetings and did things with other recovering alcoholics. Understand that it is very stressful to go from being a daily drinker to someone sober and it doesn't happen overnight. Basically you have to get used to life as a sober person and that takes time. Doing anything sober for the first time was challenging.

But once I was on my feet I found I didn't need to limit myself. I don't hang out in bars or with people who drink heavily but otherwise I went on picnics, saw friends for dinner, went to the movies, traveled. What helped was looking for new activities on Meetup where I discovered I love to hike and be outdoors.

suki44883

Oh, I can grasp it, especially since I am an alcoholic. And no, life isn't more exciting with alcohol. You can do the exact same things sober that you do while drinking, and guess what? It's just as exciting. I'm pretty sure there isn't much you can tell me about all that since I lived it for many, many years.

Programmatic

I would have to say driving to work with a cop behind you while drunk is far more exciting than doing it sober.

PaperDolls

At some point during my drinking career, it quit being fun OR exciting.

aasharon90

Enjoying the gifts of the PROMISES stated to us in our Big Book of A.A. Just by living and incorperating the steps and principles in my everyday affairs. Today, some 21 yrs. Sober later, im enjoying and and having fun with wonderful gifts of a new marriage, a new hip, riding passanger on our Harley experiencing the world outside the car. Joys and blessings of continued health and happiness one day at a time. These are just a few my favorite fun thing.

byrank

Exciting is of course subjective. And maybe we are not all on the same page of what exciting means. To excite means, according to Webster, to call to activity, to rouse to an emotional response, to arouse (as a strong emotional response) by appropriate stimuli. Energize. Increase the activity of. To raise to a higher level. Synonyms are provoke, interesting, provacative, sexy, stimulating, dramatic, gripping, thrilling, moving, sensational, rousing, exhilarating, electrifying, intoxicating, titillating, arousing, erotic, fervor, inflaming.

Can anyone say a roller coaster is less exciting than an average car ride? I would say that is ridiculous. Some may hate roller coasters. It is still "exciting." You may be sick of the type of excitement that addiction caused, but it was still there. And as a codependant, I over achieved. I took care of the kids, house, bills, laundry, cleaning, my brain was firing on all cylinders. I had not a second to spare or a stray thought. It gave life purpose and meaning. I was always on edge when we went out because of the inevitable embarassment and drama that I knew would ensue at any minute. Now she is in recovery and I am too, I do feel a void. Much like someone misses an abusive partner. Or a gambler misses the thrill of loss. If you dont get that, or cant at least see the argument, I believe you are missing something big

Chimmy

They do say that exercise is good for recovery so how about joining a gym? get that blood pumping! once you get into it, it is fun and a good habit to get into!

Mightyqueen801

Yes, I realized that after I wrote my post, you were really looking for "date night out" types of things.

Maybe you could try some things you never did before. Go to plays or operas or symphonies or lectures if they are events you normally wouldn't go to. If it sucks, you can always have a laugh together.

StarCat

So much of our culture seems to revolve around alcohol, doesn't it?

I went to a dinner for work last night... They had an hour of (cash bar) cocktails and appetizers, then opened the doors to the dining room. (You could, of course, get refills whenever you wanted). Then, after dinner, they gave away their door prizes - each was a tote bag containing a pair of wine glasses and a bottle of wine.

I was surprised when they called my number - I don't drink, and never have, not even before XABF. So I sent the Sangria home with a friend.
The wine glasses are really pretty, though, so I am keeping them, because I like pretty things, and I deserve them. <3 The wine glasses don't know the difference between wine and fruit juice, anyway.

The best part is, aside from the friend I gave the wine to, nobody knows I didn't take the Sangria home, and nobody made notice that I was only drinking water. If you're used to not drinking, it's possible to have fun doing things not drinking, even if everyone else is. Me not drinking is my normal, and since I don't act like anything is unusual, nobody else acts like it's unusual, either.
Changing habits, of course, is hard. I may not be trying to figure out how to do things while not drinking, but they changed the location of my entry ramp onto the highway I take to go to work, and wouldn't you know I've gone the new way only twice in the month since they've done this. One of these days I will relearn that route, but right now it's completely foreign to my habitual brain, and I keep getting stuck in a traffic jam consisting of all the other people like me who are trying to relearn the same thing.