Fandy

I can't help but to think she is trying to play for a sympathy card.....

"oh GASP"...I go to rehab. *emergently* and my callous husband tries to throw me out into the street" after I appeal to him for help....(the text messages are a record that she told you what she was doing i guess)...somehow, I feel she may try to use this to her advantage, even the asking you to lie to her employer.

IDK, but this whole episode is snarky, if she was truly interested in recovery she would act more responsibly as a parent and adult...I'm sorry and I hope it gets easier for you and your child.

StarCat

Seriously, if I were her employer?
My first reaction when caller her husband and hearing him say "She went out of town," I'd think she skipped town and her husband doesn't know where she is either. Especially with the information you also added below:

I wouldn't worry about her employer causing any trouble for you. You sound more like a husband who is tired of her shenanigans, as well, and just wants to stay out of the drama.

jayscott

Wow -- AW just gave me a GIFT. She's going no-contact with me!

Turns out she's not in rehab, she's at a friend's house that she met at her previous rehab. She picked up a voicemail from her attorney this morning and learned the news...fun times. The double standards in our conversation were very impressive, but at the end of it all she decided she just doesn't want to talk to me. (I'll bet everyone 10 quack-dollars, though, that there will be at least two flip-flops on that decision before the weekend.)

Work productivity is sooooo down the tubes today.

pixilation

sounds like all the better for you then! She had to have known it was coming, I mean, she can't be that brain dead, can she?

nodaybut2day

Meh screw work productivity. You're dealing with a very high stress situation. Sounds like a good opportunity to have some chocolate (or whatever goodie you treat yourself to usually). Hold on jayscott. We're here for you.

jayscott

Coffee. (I know, caffeine is probably not the best long-term solution, but little guy wakes up at 5am like clockwork.) Music. (iTunes on in the background.) Lunch in 30. These are a few of my favorite things.

Fandy

so she is not "getting help" in rehab??? She has run away??? from her own child? so much for parenting responsibilities and her professed threats of what she would do if she lost contact with her child.

I do not think you will have trouble obtaining what is the best solution. Buy the new locks on the way home, ya think?

Thumper

Oh Jayscott. I'm wishing you all the best. You really do sound so well but I remember being at work, unable to actually work, spouse off running away from our family doing crazy stuff. It was a really difficult time. Hang in there. You are doing the right things. One foot in front of the other. I have to share that I stalled out. I had doubts and confusion and fear. It was such a huge mistake to not keep moving. Keep moving.

jayscott

Not only is she not getting help, she's crashing at the apartment of the guy she developed a crush on at rehab. Oh, drama. She simultaneously misses our child and neglects our child, attempts to manipulate me and accuses me of manipulating her.

Before going no-contact, she asked me where she was supposed to live if she was thrown out of the house. (A rhetorical question, perhaps, since I couldn't get a word in?) That's not my job, right? As long as I provide whatever money is required by the court for her to establish a new residence, I think she can figure that one out.

Tuffgirl

Ouch! That is a pretty crappy stunt to pull, and not very smart, given the circumstances.

Keep on keeping on! Sounds like you are on the right path.

Shellcrusher

Sounds like she already has a place to live.
I am sorry, jayscott.

There's not much I can offer you other than nasty comments like Drop the friggin hammer!

You stay strong man.

pixilation

It is not your concern where she lives(besides, sounds like she found a place) Honestly, I'd pick up a new lock set on your way to daycare tonight and do that now.

Fandy

I thought when you said she was at a "friend's"...it was a girlfriend, for a sob-fest.

this is a whole different ugly can of worms...can you add it to your laundry list for the attorney.

I'm very sorry, it's blatantly disrespectful to your marriage and it IS child neglect. You might want to get a picture of where she is at just for proof...even a picture of her car parked in front of this guy's house.

naive

hmmm. i would imagine if she is crashing with a man she has a crush on, she might be sleeping with him. if i was a betting person, i'd put £10 on it.

sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but i've lived through this already.

it is not your job where she lives. she's an adult afterall.

sorry jay that you're going thru this. been there myself. not nice. mine left with my tent to his lover's house...told me he was going to move her into our home.

we are here for you and we understand.

naive

MsCooterBrown

Not only is she not getting help, she's crashing at the apartment of the guy she developed a crush on at rehab. Oh, drama.

Can't help but feel sorry for the poor dumb sumbeech...he may never get rid of her! Problem solved.

StarCat

Considering her new location, I would say that any judge worth their salt would pick the "abandonment" option.
If she was truly going to rehab, that might pull some heartstrings, but moving in with her rehab crush and abandoning her child? Even ignoring the alcoholism, she's still clearly not a fit parent.


I know it's difficult, jayscott.
At least she's building your case for you, though.

sunshine321

Sounds like your wife is on a crash course of self-destruction with no help from you although she'll be pointing the finger at you all the way down. How very sad for you both! However, she is making this easier than ever for you to do the right thing. HP does for us what we cannot do for ourselves.

Take good care, know that you are doing what is best for you and your baby, and sending lots of prayers for your whole family.

Peace,
Jen

theuncertainty

OMG, Jayscott. I'm so sorry that you're going through this.

Wishing you strength and peace. Hugs for you and your little one.

NYCDoglvr

What a heart-wrenching situation to be in ... The best thing to do is let the past go and keep focused on today and what is coming up. I wish you the best!

NYCDoglvr

You have a good head on your shoulder, you're taking all the right steps. Trust your gut and your instinct. Thank got the baby has you!