BobbyJ

Update: Talked with the lawyer...Brought home the papers to fill out for the home & business..

Husband doesnt recall saying he would kill me or my daughter to my mom last night.
Drunk or out of his mind...which one?? i wonder....

He has called & texted all day. And I have not answered to neither.

NEEDS too, WANTS too...know why I want a divorce.
He doesnt believe it will fix anything. Now (after 2 months) of him leaving
he is ready to send me money to help with the house payment. But he promised
he would do it no matter what, when he left...
Now he will do anything so he doesnt lose me.

He said, You have to understand I dont have time for AA. Im busy at work..

But I know he has Fridays off and gets off everyday at 4..

After all of that, I closed my business and came home and cried & slept for 3 hours.

Why do they wait until the last minute to try to put the fire out??
Really messed my head up...

suki44883

I hope you don't buy that line of garbage. It's right out of the alcoholic textbook. It happens almost every single time we finally get tired enough to make a move. They make promises, say they'll do anything, will give you money, will buy you flowers and fix the brakes on your car. ANYTHING to muddle your thinking and second-guess yourself. Again, I truly hope you don't fall for it.

passionfruit

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm......................... ..........

passionfruit

I am exactly where you are. I want to file. I know that is the right thing for me, but I am scared to rock the boat. I can come up with a dozen reasons why but it comes down to fear.

The war will be on is exactly what I dread. The war was on the last few months before I left. I stood up to him and it made his behavior worse by far. It was awful.

Don't run back to him. If he is going to change, you will see it. You will see real. I have been gone 4 months. All the change was fake or it was his version of change not real change.

Just because he says so doesn't make it true. Time will tell the truth.

I start missing him and thinking if I change he will too, he really isn't so bad, then I make myself remember the ugly things, the horrible things, and BAM! I am angry all over again and want to call and tell him how SORRY he is. Period. Piece of crap.

I seem to have no middle ground. Alanon, prayer, and busy-ness is what I use to find my way back to sanity.

You need support. Real people make change easier...

MeredithD1

I know of someone who took this advice. She didn't believe her ABF would really kill her, but he did go into another rant on another day, an insane rant, and ended up hitting her. She reported it to some family, and they took him to the psychiatric ward for observation. He, in fact, WAS having a major anxiety attack and also didn't remember threatening to kill her. The psychiatrist talked with her. He asked if her ABF had threatened to kill her. She had to say yes. He was then put in under lockdown and because he was in under lockdown, the county paid for his subsequent week there (what insurance wouldn't cover). Just FYI. It was a scary time for all of us around her, but of course we wanted to be there for her. The psychiatrists made the point to all of us: If anyone ever threatens to kill you, get away from the situation. Even if you don't think they mean it, the next time they get into that kind of rage or insanity, it could happen.

It's a HUGE red flag.

I also agree with everyone here that what he has said about wanting to repair things is textbook A. If it was me, I would wait, from a safe distance, to see what would come over time.