I am exactly where you are. I want to file. I know that is the right thing for me, but I am scared to rock the boat. I can come up with a dozen reasons why but it comes down to fear.
The war will be on is exactly what I dread. The war was on the last few months before I left. I stood up to him and it made his behavior worse by far. It was awful.
Don't run back to him. If he is going to change, you will see it. You will see real. I have been gone 4 months. All the change was fake or it was his version of change not real change.
Just because he says so doesn't make it true. Time will tell the truth.
I start missing him and thinking if I change he will too, he really isn't so bad, then I make myself remember the ugly things, the horrible things, and BAM! I am angry all over again and want to call and tell him how SORRY he is. Period. Piece of crap.
I seem to have no middle ground. Alanon, prayer, and busy-ness is what I use to find my way back to sanity.
You need support. Real people make change easier...
