Blogs


Notices

AS finally hospitalized

Old 03-03-2011, 01:55 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Lilly1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Dousman WI
Posts: 51
AS finally hospitalized

FINALLY. In my heart of hearts I was waiting for this. I'm still piecing things together, which hasn't been easy, but he apparently got another DUI on Sunday...while LEAVING work this time (vs. driving IN last time).....arrested and sent home when sober. He will have an upcoming court date with upcoming jail time in a month. Went home and OD'd (or used excessively) on benedryl and apparently drank for the next 4 days locked in his room. Found by his roommate this morning in the bathroom beating himself against a wall. He was swollen all over, roommate called 911.

He's in the hospital, dehydrated, in ICU while they figure out what he all did to himself. I talked to his nurse (and I'm a nurse) and gave her more info then he gave on his drinking. He's telling them that people were stuffing him in a closet and all sorts of weird stuff. maybe he was hallucinating, maybe he was making up stories to explain his appearance, I don't know. My husband went to the hospital and says he looks like he was in a fist fight...bruises and swelling all over the place.

God I need power now more then ever. I'm so alone in this. My husband wants to continue to enable him and help him. I want to too but I know that's not the answer. I can only PRAY PRAY PRAY that this might be his bottom. I am so lost and I feel so alone in my fight to maintain my stance.

I don't know if he has a job anymore. I don't know WHAT happened this last 4 days....

I'm going to see him after work. Advice and strength please
Lilly1 is offline  
The Following 22 Users Say Thank You to Lilly1 For This Useful Post:
brokenheartfool (03-03-2011), chicory (03-03-2011), Cyranoak (03-03-2011), fourmaggie (03-05-2011), Impurrfect (03-03-2011), Justfor1 (03-03-2011), keepinon (03-03-2011), KerBearz (03-03-2011), LexieCat (03-03-2011), MovingForward (03-05-2011), Pelican (03-03-2011), reefbreakbda (03-05-2011), RollTide (03-03-2011), Seren (03-03-2011), SoloMio (03-03-2011), Spiritual Seeker (03-03-2011), stella27 (03-03-2011), suki44883 (03-03-2011), Sylvie66 (03-04-2011), theuncertainty (03-03-2011), tjp613 (03-03-2011), Untoxicated (03-04-2011)
Old 03-03-2011, 02:11 PM
  # 2 (permalink)  
RIP Sweet Suki
 
suki44883's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In my sanctuary, my home
Posts: 32,381
Oh hun...I don't know whether to say I'm sorry or congratulations. Obviously, he is where he needs to be at this time. It's just such a shame that you and your husband can't come to an agreement regarding your son. In my mind, you are right of course. Your home isn't the best option for him and shouldn't really be an option at all. Maybe you could see if one of the doctors could talk to your husband and explain some better options. Someone needs to convince him that enabling your son is not helping him and is, in fact, hurting him.

Hang in there and please, keep us posted on how YOU are doing.
suki44883 is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to suki44883 For This Useful Post:
keepinon (03-03-2011), Lilly1 (03-03-2011), reefbreakbda (03-05-2011)
Old 03-03-2011, 02:20 PM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Member
 
enodm's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Murray Utah
Posts: 153
Blog Entries: 1
I am so sorry you are going through this!! My as who is 20 has OD'd and ended up in the hospital three times now. One over does he actually was in intensive care from huffing and got methanol posioning. He too is pending jail tim due to having a dirty UA. After allof this inpatient treatment, 3 week stent in a mental hospital he is still using. it kills me and I dread the day I get the call he is dead!! BUT with the support of alanon and family I am detaching!! Yes, I still an enabling him to a point, but I am working on me and keeping me sane!! You need to do the same!! Be strong and keep youe head held up high!! xoxo
enodm is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to enodm For This Useful Post:
Lilly1 (03-03-2011), tjp613 (03-03-2011)
Old 03-03-2011, 02:46 PM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Member
 
tjp613's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Land of Cotton
Posts: 3,433
Blog Entries: 16
I am so, so sorry. You must be so torn up with grief and worry. Would your husband be willing to go with you to see an addictions counselor?


There but for the grace of God go I...

Please let us know how we can help you.
tjp613 is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to tjp613 For This Useful Post:
keepinon (03-03-2011), Lilly1 (03-03-2011)
Old 03-03-2011, 02:46 PM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Member
 
Verbena's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Desert Southwest
Posts: 192
Lilly1, I'm so sorry you and your husband have to watch your child suffer so horribly. I can't think of anything that hurts more.

I hope you are right and that your son has reached his bottom and will want to help himself. My heart goes out to you both.
Verbena is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to Verbena For This Useful Post:
Lilly1 (03-03-2011)
Old 03-03-2011, 03:01 PM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Southwest
Posts: 1,207
I am so sorry that you are experiencing this hard time. (((hugs)))
stella27 is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to stella27 For This Useful Post:
Lilly1 (03-03-2011)
Old 03-03-2011, 03:14 PM
  # 7 (permalink)  
same planet...different world
 
barb dwyer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Butte, America
Posts: 10,946
Blog Entries: 7
*prayers* and a
barb dwyer is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to barb dwyer For This Useful Post:
Lilly1 (03-03-2011)
Old 03-03-2011, 03:35 PM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Member
 
SoloMio's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 1,116
Sending my prayers and hugs along with the others.. at least he's getting good healthcare and he's safe from himself.

Hope you find the support you need.
SoloMio is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to SoloMio For This Useful Post:
Lilly1 (03-03-2011)
Old 03-03-2011, 03:40 PM
  # 9 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Lilly1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Dousman WI
Posts: 51
I really really appreciate you all. This board is my saving grace. Thank you for sharing and lifting me up

I'll keep you posted when I get back from the hospital. My husband already made me promise to not say anything about the whole enabling thing and I assured him this is not the time or place. But we'll be talking more about that. I think we both just need to get over the shock right now.

I talked to the cops and they are going to chapter him THANK GOD so I should have thru the weekend and most of Monday before we figure out where he's going. The nurse assured me he'll be in a medical bed at least thru tomorrow, then no court for the weekend so he's "trapped" so to speak. I admit I'll sleep much better knowing he's safe.
Lilly1 is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Lilly1 For This Useful Post:
fourmaggie (03-05-2011), keepinon (03-03-2011), MovingForward (03-05-2011), StarCat (03-04-2011)
Old 03-03-2011, 05:48 PM
  # 10 (permalink)  
A work in progress
 
LexieCat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Hugs, Lilly,

I know how hard this must be. You sound like you're on the right track, though. Keep breathing!
LexieCat is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to LexieCat For This Useful Post:
Lilly1 (03-04-2011)
Old 03-03-2011, 05:53 PM
  # 11 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 74
Thinking of you tonight...living with an AH is a struggle, but I cannot imagine the heartbreak of it being my child in that situation...
HeyImme is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to HeyImme For This Useful Post:
Lilly1 (03-04-2011), MovingForward (03-05-2011)
Old 03-03-2011, 06:37 PM
  # 12 (permalink)  
Forum Leader
 
Seren's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 10,614
Blog Entries: 8
((((Lilly)))) I'm so sorry to hear about your son. I hope that you can rest knowing for now he is right where he needs to be with people who can take care of him.
Seren is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to Seren For This Useful Post:
Lilly1 (03-04-2011)
Old 03-03-2011, 07:14 PM
  # 13 (permalink)  
1000 Post Club
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Midwest USA
Posts: 2,284
I can't believe he got a DUI leaving work. Didn't his co-workers or boss know he was intoxicated? Perhaps his job is enabling him? A 4 day bender can definetly lead to hallucinations. My prayers go out to you.
Justfor1 is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to Justfor1 For This Useful Post:
Lilly1 (03-04-2011)
Old 03-03-2011, 07:29 PM
  # 14 (permalink)  
peaceful seabird
 
Pelican's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: floating
Posts: 4,822
(((Lilly)))

Hugs and Prayers for you and your family!
Pelican is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to Pelican For This Useful Post:
Lilly1 (03-04-2011)
Old 03-03-2011, 08:08 PM
  # 15 (permalink)  
Member
 
theuncertainty's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Alaska
Posts: 2,913
Blog Entries: 8
Hugs, Lilly. I'm so sorry that you're all going through this. I'm afraid I have no advice, but wish you continued strength.
theuncertainty is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to theuncertainty For This Useful Post:
Lilly1 (03-04-2011)
Old 03-03-2011, 08:09 PM
  # 16 (permalink)  
Member
 
keepinon's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2010
Location: central coast, ca
Posts: 1,652
I think this is an incredible blessing..all this happened WITHOUT you intervening..he cannot blame you, you haven't been enabling him, many of us have prayed for our kids to be pulled "in the system"..you keep working your program..regardless of your your husband does..ANY facility he gets put in will STRESS alanon for all family members..that may make a difference to him..TODAY your son is feeling the consequences of his addiction and that is always a good thing:ghug3Hang in there, have faith, more will be revealed..love..another mom of a recovering addict
keepinon is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to keepinon For This Useful Post:
Lilly1 (03-04-2011), seekingcalm (03-05-2011)
Old 03-03-2011, 08:44 PM
  # 17 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Lilly1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Dousman WI
Posts: 51
I'm back and I am exhausted, but I will sleep well knowing he's safe for the weekend. He's been chaptered so he's there until his court date. He's got a sitter. Psych is coming to see him tomorrow along with Infectious disease and Neuro. In true alcoholic fashion, he never mentioned his drinking to the medical staff...just the fact that he attempted suicide by taking 40-50 benedryl tablets. You can bet I cleared up THAT little detail quickly. He's on CIWA (alcohol withdrawl) precautions but so far holding his own.

From what we can gather from texts, police and the nurse, after his 2nd arrest sunday night (we don't know any details about that...just that he was there long after close and his car was the only one left in the parking lot so the cop saw him leave and caught him right away) he got a ride home monday and laid out his plan. He went to the store and bought the bendryl. He did not mention alcohol but I'd be surprised if it wasn't involved in this somewhere; of course I forgot to ask the nurse if he had a positive blood alcohol level, but I'll check tomorrow. He proceeded to take the benedryl Monday night...he told the nurse the 2nd DUI pushed him over the edge. He remembers bits of Tuesday (something about waking up in a closet??), nothing of Wednesday and some of this morning when EMS came. His roommate heard him beating on the bathroom wall and came to see what was happening. My son doesn't remember if he was beating on the wall for help or ??...just that he did realize at one point that if he didn't get help, he was going to die.

He cannot move his right leg/toes; it's painful enough that he's getting morphine for it. His nailbeds were blue in ER. His face....OMG, that's the worst part. He's got a sore/scab under his right nostril and the entire right side of his face is swollen, right eye is swollen shut. His blood indicates an infection. My husband thought he fell or got beat up, but no, no marks or bruising on his face except for the sore. The swelling is either from the benedryl overdose or the sore.

He gave me all his stuff to take (phone, clothes, paperwork) and permission to the nurse to speak to me. My other son, age 22, went thru his texts (AS is aware) and his responses to people pretty much ended Tuesday. When he did respond to people on Monday, it was all lies about how he was hung up with something, needed to switch hours, blah blah. Work texted him several times after and he never responded...so, I don't know if he'll have a job after this. My 22 y.o did sent a text to the friend that he works with so I'm sure between the friend and room mate (who also works at the same place), someone there will be notified. All my AS said was that he saw a really angry email from his boss and he said "I guess they don't understand where I've been all day".

I am too tired to think of the future at this point. I pray the psychiatrist can get thru to him or start him on an antidepressant or SOMETHING. I have no idea if this is his bottom or not. He is very remorseful and had none of the hate for me that he's had for the last month. He seems confused and disconnected right now (which is why I wanted to clarify if they gave him anything) but I suppose what he did has a way with messing a person up. He's very sleepy.

I pray to my HP that He is setting the path for my AS's future. I pray that he is protected. I pray this was his bottom. It's hard to see your "baby" in a hospital bed and not want to save him. I'm shocked that he went so far down so very fast.

Thank you for the prayers and hugs and for listening. You guys are the main people I have to lean on for this. I have a few close friends who are aware of everything, but they lack the experience I find here. You are all fantastic
Lilly1 is offline  
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to Lilly1 For This Useful Post:
keepinon (03-03-2011), Pelican (03-04-2011), RollTide (03-04-2011), StarCat (03-04-2011), tjp613 (03-04-2011), Untoxicated (03-04-2011)
Old 03-03-2011, 10:34 PM
  # 18 (permalink)  
Member
 
keepinon's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2010
Location: central coast, ca
Posts: 1,652
Hopefully this will be his bottom..I would urge you to go to alanon as soon as you can if you don't already..helped me sooo much with my daughters alcohlism/addiction...it's the best gift you can give an addicted child..a parent in recovery..hope you get some rest...sounds like he is in good hands..
keepinon is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to keepinon For This Useful Post:
Lilly1 (03-04-2011), Pelican (03-04-2011), StarCat (03-04-2011)
Old 03-04-2011, 06:23 AM
  # 19 (permalink)  
Member
 
tjp613's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Land of Cotton
Posts: 3,433
Blog Entries: 16
Wow....this is such a painful story. I wish we could be there in person for you

Well, as you said, your energy is best spent staying here in the moment. Fretting about what the future holds is a waste. You know this but I will say it anyway...use the energy you have to stay healthy, calm and centered. Practice acceptance. Talk to your HP.

It does sound like he's getting good medical care -- you can be grateful for that if nothing else.

((((Hugs))))
tjp613 is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to tjp613 For This Useful Post:
Lilly1 (03-04-2011)
Old 03-04-2011, 10:44 AM
  # 20 (permalink)  
Eating protein and life.
 
Untoxicated's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Just. Plain. Grateful.
Posts: 503
I've thought for two days how or if I should respond to your post Lilly...it's so powerful and has been on my mind.

The only things I'd like to share is that I will be praying for you and your family and I think, to some degree, Al-Anon played a part in saving my life (my mom went and it helped give her the strength that she needed to leave me alone so that I could find mine - I hope the same proves true for you.).

Take good care of you.
Untoxicated is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Untoxicated For This Useful Post:
keepinon (03-04-2011), Lilly1 (03-04-2011), tjp613 (03-04-2011)

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 12:26 AM.