How to be friends with an ex?
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Join Date: Dec 2008
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Originally Posted by Summerpeach 
Problem is, I don't trust his intentions for being my friend.
Hugs, HG
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Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 5,103
Originally Posted by Summerpeach
Hang in there Atalose..... :-)
I guess I get caught up in him NOT coming after me like he's done in the past. I guess when we've broken up before after weeks he'd come back with all his words of love and promises. The honeymoon would last until the cloud of addiction hovered once again.
This time the feel is different, I'm different and he knows that. I know he doesn't want to continue to hurt me and as he'd said in the past, he can't make promises he knows he may not keep and there are no guarantees he won't use again.
So a big part of me accepts that, and that's the part that hurts the most that this if finally it for us. I do have to accept that and I can't have fantasy dreams that just aren't reality for our situation.
The other part of me is scared silly if he does attempt to contact me, not sure what I will do or how I will feel about that. I just pray for the right words to come to me in that moment, if that moment ever happens.
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 1,292
Originally Posted by atalose
I'm trying really really trying!!! Praying all the way!!!
I guess I get caught up in him NOT coming after me like he's done in the past. I guess when we've broken up before after weeks he'd come back with all his words of love and promises. The honeymoon would last until the cloud of addiction hovered once again.
This time the feel is different, I'm different and he knows that. I know he doesn't want to continue to hurt me and as he'd said in the past, he can't make promises he knows he may not keep and there are no guarantees he won't use again.
So a big part of me accepts that, and that's the part that hurts the most that this if finally it for us. I do have to accept that and I can't have fantasy dreams that just aren't reality for our situation.
The other part of me is scared silly if he does attempt to contact me, not sure what I will do or how I will feel about that. I just pray for the right words to come to me in that moment, if that moment ever happens.
I guess I get caught up in him NOT coming after me like he's done in the past. I guess when we've broken up before after weeks he'd come back with all his words of love and promises. The honeymoon would last until the cloud of addiction hovered once again.
This time the feel is different, I'm different and he knows that. I know he doesn't want to continue to hurt me and as he'd said in the past, he can't make promises he knows he may not keep and there are no guarantees he won't use again.
So a big part of me accepts that, and that's the part that hurts the most that this if finally it for us. I do have to accept that and I can't have fantasy dreams that just aren't reality for our situation.
The other part of me is scared silly if he does attempt to contact me, not sure what I will do or how I will feel about that. I just pray for the right words to come to me in that moment, if that moment ever happens.
I believe much of what I think about the ex is fantasy thinking also.
If the moment of contact happens, I'm sure you'lll be fine. It's just because it's all so raw right now and emotions are HIGH!
All we can do is hope/pray for healing and happiness no matter who and how, right?!
hugs
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Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 5,103
Yes very raw right now, the waves of grief are flowing in all directions. Sometimes the overwhelming sadness just comes up and takes over out of no where. A memory will enter my mind, I turn into a mess, pull myself together, hours later another thought enters my mind and I’m enraged with anger. Guess this is the grief process at work where in my past I was never left alone long enough to fully feel all the way through these emotions for longer then a couple of months.
Same with him, he’d get clean then have all these same feelings and we’d talk and rush back together. It’s different this time, I am different and he is acting different – which is good for the both of us in the long run.
I know him well enough to know his noble side, he told my friend back in January that he needs to and will respect my needing space……WTF I broke up with him because he was out of his mind on drugs and befriending “his stalker” again……(long story)
If I’m doing something different this time and he’s doing something different this then good for the both of us…….whether our efforts help US in the long run – well that’s anyone’s guess but I can’t work on me with the hopes of him, if that makes any sense to you.
Same with him, he’d get clean then have all these same feelings and we’d talk and rush back together. It’s different this time, I am different and he is acting different – which is good for the both of us in the long run.
I know him well enough to know his noble side, he told my friend back in January that he needs to and will respect my needing space……WTF I broke up with him because he was out of his mind on drugs and befriending “his stalker” again……(long story)
If I’m doing something different this time and he’s doing something different this then good for the both of us…….whether our efforts help US in the long run – well that’s anyone’s guess but I can’t work on me with the hopes of him, if that makes any sense to you.
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