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minor vent caused by potato chips

Old 10-29-2010, 10:04 PM
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minor vent caused by potato chips

Hi all,

I've been gone for a while because my AH left to stay with his family for a while, and I thought that would help things. He has been gone a little over a month, I think, and he's now with his family halfway across the country.

Unfortunately, his family is dealing with two alcoholic sons, and I selfishly thought that him seeing his brother in such bad shape would make him see the light, but it's just making him think he's not that bad because he's not as bad as his brother.

My minor vent I wanted to post here tonight is that I just went to the corner store to buy some potato chips. You know, just a little treat for myself. The regular guy who works there has been asking about AH the past few times I've been in. I thought he was just being neighborly, but tonight he sheepishly said, "Um, your husband has a tab here that he needs to pay." Of course. Because everything is tainted by his alcoholism. This is truly minor in comparison to other folks on here, but it just made me break. I was already having a rough week and I just didn't need another reminder of how crappy things were / are.

So I just bought "Codependent No More" online and will read that, and I swear every time I post here I say I'll go back to AlAnon, but I really hated it. I'll try a different group. I got some more sessions with our / my therapist through his EAP, and that is helping.

Right now I'm waiting things out to see what AH wants to do. Which is wrong, I know. But I only have two options--dump him now or wait to see if he wants to come back and go to treatment. He can't go to treatment out of state; our insurance only covers in-state. So I'm trying to help him, but I think things are just going to fizzle out and die.

Anyway, I can't believe that some potato chips made me cry tonight. I thought potato chips were my friend.
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Old 10-29-2010, 11:53 PM
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Ah, the irony. I am chowing down on potato chips right now.

I'm so sorry you're feeling bad. I took my DD and left my AH last week so I have a bit of understanding of what you're going through. It's still fresh, and difficult, and I don't see much of a future for us given that he's not doing anything to demonstrate his sobriety. (He's going to meetings, but hey, he was doing that before and still getting wasted in the evenings/weekends.) It's sad.

I wasn't a fan of the Al-Anon mtg I went to either...I like it here b/c I can choose to read what I want and just like other people can choose to read what I type if they feel so inclined.

I hope you are feeling better soon, and better yet, I hope you get some chips in your system
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Old 10-30-2010, 12:06 AM
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I am sorry. It does make sense...you were steeled to deal with all the big stuff and then this hits out of the blue....and just the smallest, simplist things are even effected...can't even go to the store to buy a bag of chips.

It is something like that that would wreck my last nerve too.

Hope you got some ice cream also!
(on his tab LOL)
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Old 10-30-2010, 07:41 AM
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Thanks, you two. I think you're exactly right--I've been trying to deal with the big stuff and I never thought this little thing would set me off.

On the big stuff, I'm frustrated because, like cambi, my AH isn't demonstrating any progress toward getting sober. He's not even going to AA meetings. When he did go to AA meetings here, he just bought alcohol afterwards. So I feel like I'm just waiting around for a breakup a few months down the road.

Oh, and this weekend is our anniversary, which makes things even better.
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Old 10-30-2010, 12:42 PM
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Hey if potato chips are Oprah's worst enemy imagine their power! Yes, the messes keepacomin and we are all left "paying the tab" in one way or another for a while. I'm sure the anniversary didn't help this weekend
Maybe you aren't ready to make any decision right now.maybe you still have some thinking/praying to do before you will be ready. Take this time while he is gone to get to know yourself again.I know I got the point where I couldn't tell you one thing about me..it was all about my daughter, her addiction, how she was doing, etc.
hang in there..
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