phlegmatic

Hi all,

I've been gone for a while because my AH left to stay with his family for a while, and I thought that would help things. He has been gone a little over a month, I think, and he's now with his family halfway across the country.

Unfortunately, his family is dealing with two alcoholic sons, and I selfishly thought that him seeing his brother in such bad shape would make him see the light, but it's just making him think he's not that bad because he's not as bad as his brother.

My minor vent I wanted to post here tonight is that I just went to the corner store to buy some potato chips. You know, just a little treat for myself. The regular guy who works there has been asking about AH the past few times I've been in. I thought he was just being neighborly, but tonight he sheepishly said, "Um, your husband has a tab here that he needs to pay." Of course. Because everything is tainted by his alcoholism. This is truly minor in comparison to other folks on here, but it just made me break. I was already having a rough week and I just didn't need another reminder of how crappy things were / are.

So I just bought "Codependent No More" online and will read that, and I swear every time I post here I say I'll go back to AlAnon, but I really hated it. I'll try a different group. I got some more sessions with our / my therapist through his EAP, and that is helping.

Right now I'm waiting things out to see what AH wants to do. Which is wrong, I know. But I only have two options--dump him now or wait to see if he wants to come back and go to treatment. He can't go to treatment out of state; our insurance only covers in-state. So I'm trying to help him, but I think things are just going to fizzle out and die.

Anyway, I can't believe that some potato chips made me cry tonight. I thought potato chips were my friend.