kia

well ive finally reached the end of the alchoholic road ive removed him from msn and blocked him too this time and it kinda feels good for now anyhow i will go threw with drawl again i know and there will be many times i will miss him but hes messed with my head one too many times hes took the nutjob back in again despite saying i could come up tomorrow to talk so he again didnt think about my safety then he was saying if u did this u will be the one who needs me again ermmm:rotfxko like heck i will do i dont need nobody to live my life for me or not put me first every time and i know this is right thing to do he even said u will regret this blah blah blah more quacking regret what having my nose rubbed in it all the time what hes up to with the nutter i dont think so whats to miss i will have to text him when im going to get my things end of next month prob but this was coming i could feel my temper building and he was triggering me everytime and teasing me that we might get back then pulling the rug away again when he knew he wasnt gonna do so i know wish him look trying to contact me now i feel a sense of relief actually that i dont have to keep living his dramas for him and i know who will need the other first and it wont be me thats for sure i could do with a little support though from u lot on here

LexieCat

Could you maybe make arrangements for someone else to pick up your things for you?

kia

i may well do that but no rush as yet know he wont do anything with my things and he does still have my moby number would change it but i like the number as its only one ive ever remembered but ill go with someone there and send them in with a list to get it will prob go end of nov im kinda been guided atm if that dont sound too nutty and i felt i was been warned not to go tomorrow that was dangerous to go so i heeded this i always listen to my guardians and there telling me november will be safe for me to go my ex hubby has offered to drive me so will be fine xxx

Kassie2

baby steps kia! do what you can and build your strength to find what works for you! You go back and forth but you are gaining strength. Keep doing what you know to work and let go of the thoughts and moments that don't.

kia

yep i know i do my minds all over the place atm this isnt easy but im too stubborn to try going back this time so i will do what i said i would one day at a time and if i cant do it will unblock it that way if i know i can undo it at anytime i prob wont do its the thought that its permanent thats the tough one if i just go day to day knowing i can change it anytime i want that will be easier even though i dont think i will but u get where im coming from eh xx

bookwyrm

You can do this. Just keep on going! Have a read here for some inspiration: http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ing-shore.html

kia

well its day two and can feel myself weakening but im off to me class in a sec so should keep me occupied till this afteroon will have a read of that when i come back later bookwrm xxx