I cant handle it no more
JTinStLouis
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: St Louis, MO
Posts: 115
Baabaa,
I am sure it is a very tough spot you are in and my heart goes out to you and your children. I know when I was using I too was a mess similar to your husband now. I cannot stress enough how important it is for you to and your family not to be exposed to that situation 1 day longer. I know from my experience I was forced out of my house from my family for the same reasons and I left, did not even give it 5 seconds of real thought. I thought well this is one more obstacle out of the way of my drinking and drugging, that is where my head was at the time. I walked away from my family and our 7 month old little girl. My lengthy point to this story is this, until I was able to get help I was impervious to the wreckage I was causing in the wake of my activities. You will be fine on your own with the kids, and if your husband begins to understand that he needs because of this action than more power to it. I can surely say that he will not stop on his own with no reasons, I did not that is for sure.
Love
JT
I am sure it is a very tough spot you are in and my heart goes out to you and your children. I know when I was using I too was a mess similar to your husband now. I cannot stress enough how important it is for you to and your family not to be exposed to that situation 1 day longer. I know from my experience I was forced out of my house from my family for the same reasons and I left, did not even give it 5 seconds of real thought. I thought well this is one more obstacle out of the way of my drinking and drugging, that is where my head was at the time. I walked away from my family and our 7 month old little girl. My lengthy point to this story is this, until I was able to get help I was impervious to the wreckage I was causing in the wake of my activities. You will be fine on your own with the kids, and if your husband begins to understand that he needs because of this action than more power to it. I can surely say that he will not stop on his own with no reasons, I did not that is for sure.
Love
JT
A Pirate looks at 40
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Southeast of Disorder (FL)
Posts: 264
Originally Posted by j0hn0than1964 
Baabaa,
I am sure it is a very tough spot you are in and my heart goes out to you and your children. I know when I was using I too was a mess similar to your husband now. I cannot stress enough how important it is for you to and your family not to be exposed to that situation 1 day longer. I know from my experience I was forced out of my house from my family for the same reasons and I left, did not even give it 5 seconds of real thought. I thought well this is one more obstacle out of the way of my drinking and drugging, that is where my head was at the time. I walked away from my family and our 7 month old little girl. My lengthy point to this story is this, until I was able to get help I was impervious to the wreckage I was causing in the wake of my activities. You will be fine on your own with the kids, and if your husband begins to understand that he needs because of this action than more power to it. I can surely say that he will not stop on his own with no reasons, I did not that is for sure.
Love
JT
I am sure it is a very tough spot you are in and my heart goes out to you and your children. I know when I was using I too was a mess similar to your husband now. I cannot stress enough how important it is for you to and your family not to be exposed to that situation 1 day longer. I know from my experience I was forced out of my house from my family for the same reasons and I left, did not even give it 5 seconds of real thought. I thought well this is one more obstacle out of the way of my drinking and drugging, that is where my head was at the time. I walked away from my family and our 7 month old little girl. My lengthy point to this story is this, until I was able to get help I was impervious to the wreckage I was causing in the wake of my activities. You will be fine on your own with the kids, and if your husband begins to understand that he needs because of this action than more power to it. I can surely say that he will not stop on his own with no reasons, I did not that is for sure.
Love
JT
I quoted the above post in hopes you really read it well and take it to heart.
Welcome to SR by the way. You are not alone here.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Midwest
Posts: 545
Originally Posted by baabaa
In Ireland its called a Barring Order. It means that he cannot come within a 100 yards of the house, he cannot call or threaten me even verbally or he will automatically get 12 months in prison.
Take care
Baabaa
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: ireland
Posts: 12
Ha Hammerhead i could almost imagine me doing that!!!
I am on my way into the city to get the order out. He is passed out on the couch again. I hope I can get it today. I am no longer willing to facilitate this crap
I am on my way into the city to get the order out. He is passed out on the couch again. I hope I can get it today. I am no longer willing to facilitate this crap
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Midwest
Posts: 545
Originally Posted by baabaa
Ha Hammerhead i could almost imagine me doing that!!!
I am on my way into the city to get the order out. He is passed out on the couch again. I hope I can get it today. I am no longer willing to facilitate this crap
I am on my way into the city to get the order out. He is passed out on the couch again. I hope I can get it today. I am no longer willing to facilitate this crap
You are not alone!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,059
hi baabaa-
good to hear you are taking steps forward. be careful tho, as he has already been violent and might be again.
i believe that there is legal aid in ireland, so if you are on a low income, there is assistance available.
and certainly, safeguard your funds. have you closed all joint bank accounts? car insurance? any checks/valuables would be best to store somewhere else...maybe a well-trusted friend or at your place of work.
i also think it would be good to have an "emergency bag" packed so you can leave in an instant, should you need to. i had one and i used it! i put in important numbers, some cash, change of underwear, id, spare set of car keys...well, you get the idea.
if you cut him off from cash, he might have to come off his drugs, which he could blame you for.
why don't you make contact with the domestic violence people near you and explain the situation. they might have some ideas as to resources available to you that you are unaware of.
are you in northern ireland or southern ireland?
naive
good to hear you are taking steps forward. be careful tho, as he has already been violent and might be again.
i believe that there is legal aid in ireland, so if you are on a low income, there is assistance available.
and certainly, safeguard your funds. have you closed all joint bank accounts? car insurance? any checks/valuables would be best to store somewhere else...maybe a well-trusted friend or at your place of work.
i also think it would be good to have an "emergency bag" packed so you can leave in an instant, should you need to. i had one and i used it! i put in important numbers, some cash, change of underwear, id, spare set of car keys...well, you get the idea.
if you cut him off from cash, he might have to come off his drugs, which he could blame you for.
why don't you make contact with the domestic violence people near you and explain the situation. they might have some ideas as to resources available to you that you are unaware of.
are you in northern ireland or southern ireland?
naive
Baabaa
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: ireland
Posts: 12
I spent the afternoon trying to get a barring order. I didnt get one but i did get a safety order. He has left the house since 6 and so far he hasnt called(fingers crossed) It has been a very difficult decision, I feel that i have been forced to make, not just for me, but for him and most importantly the children. I never thought that it would end up like this but I am very aware that this is not the person I did love. Addiction robbed us of him. I pray for strength not for now but in the coming days and weeks when i will really be tested. Maybe like what JT said this could be the best thing for him. I have the "emergency bag" at the ready just in case....
Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Waterford MI
Posts: 4,202
Addiction robbed us of him.
I have a feeling that this has been a long time coming for you.
You are ready.
Beth
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,059
good to hear, baabaa-
for myself, i found it helpful to focus on what i wanted...
what do you want for yourself? for you children?
be kind and gentel with yourself. wee treats like a long soak in the tub. rest. breathe.
easy does it. one day at a time.
stay safe!
naive
for myself, i found it helpful to focus on what i wanted...
what do you want for yourself? for you children?
be kind and gentel with yourself. wee treats like a long soak in the tub. rest. breathe.
easy does it. one day at a time.
stay safe!
naive
I Love Who I Am
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Midwest
Posts: 3,210
Congratulations!
This thread is amazing! I'm grateful you came here and posted, grateful for the good people here who offered you support. You're going to be amazed at how much better you'll feel. When I left my AH I was SO HAPPY every morning when I woke up. I told people, "I feel like I escaped," but it took months to realize I had actually escaped an insane situation. I had lost myself in his sickness.
When do the kids come home? What are you going to tell them?
This thread is amazing! I'm grateful you came here and posted, grateful for the good people here who offered you support. You're going to be amazed at how much better you'll feel. When I left my AH I was SO HAPPY every morning when I woke up. I told people, "I feel like I escaped," but it took months to realize I had actually escaped an insane situation. I had lost myself in his sickness.
When do the kids come home? What are you going to tell them?
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