How Quickly the Tables Can Turn
To thine own self be true.
Join Date: May 2009
Location: U.S.A.
Posts: 5,924
Good for you Kitty! I'm glad you are taking all this so well. I thought for sure there was going to be a trainwreck at the end of this post, whew! I'm also glad that you stayed in your home and changed the locks. Just keep your eyes open, though, and don't let him distract you from what is really going on. Those people are VERY sneaky and just while your back is turned, they wiggle themselves back into your life (and your house!) and that chaos starts all over again. Take care. You did the right thing!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 3,095
Hi Kitty,
As a recovered alcoholic, I'm sure I see things from a different perspective than you. But delusional behavior is the same for all of us. We just can't see it until we can see it.
With kindness, I'll point out...
I hope you are done trying to control a situation that is beyond your abilty to control.
As a recovered alcoholic, I'm sure I see things from a different perspective than you. But delusional behavior is the same for all of us. We just can't see it until we can see it.
With kindness, I'll point out...
Originally Posted by KittyTET 
I called his mother... I did, however, tell his friends...I looked her number up... I called the police...I told him I had spoken to Kerri...I did yell...and told him...I find out...
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 1,103
Me too, Lucidgirl. It's a sad, unhealthy game of "I set my boundaries and you see how far you can push them back." A game that nobody wins. It's like a parent-child dynamic, really.
Originally Posted by luciddreamrgrl
What a fantastic post! You are so right. This is what I did with my XABF. Two ultimatums and then leaving but not REALLY leaving because I continued to text him and email him and call him. I thought at the time I wanted him to know why I was leaving. But what I really wanted was for him to tell me he would stop drinking and then I could come home. It didn't work like that! I let myself get hurt for 3 weeks before I realized I wasn't truly taking action. He knew he still had me hooked. He thought I would come home without him admitting his problem. He had told me he would let me know if he could get his sh*t together. He told me he had gone to a "support group". He told me he went to see a therapist. Then one day, he was mad at me for a reaction I gave him to something mean he said. He told me that when I walked out the door, that ended it for him. In that moment I realized that he was playing games with me. He was stringing me along and lying to me. He was trying to beat me down so low, that I would have nothing left and want to come back. So I stopped all contact. It's been 10 days. He has still not contacted me. No emails, no anything! Maybe he was serious. But I've learned that I can't put my life on hold anymore. I can't wait for him to get better. I need to get busy livin'!
Sorry for the rant. That post just hit so close to home for me. Thank you for posting it!
Sorry for the rant. That post just hit so close to home for me. Thank you for posting it!
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 1,103
You are a strong strong woman Kitty!! Good for you for taking the steps you need to take, and having no doubt whatsoever that this man is sick and needs to be out of your life.
I know you've been through a very traumatic situation-you may want to consider therapy-I forget whether you're in it or not. You've had a multiple whammy of, alcoholism in your family, lying, cheating...you've just been bombarded with a motherload of pain. I'm so sorry. Know that we are here for you!
**{hugs}}
I know you've been through a very traumatic situation-you may want to consider therapy-I forget whether you're in it or not. You've had a multiple whammy of, alcoholism in your family, lying, cheating...you've just been bombarded with a motherload of pain. I'm so sorry. Know that we are here for you!
**{hugs}}
Originally Posted by KittyTET
Hi everyone! I'm sorry I've left you guys hanging about the situation, but you wouldn't BELIEVE how much has happened since my last post. I will TRY to summarize:
He did NOT show up to the Lebowski Fest, but he texted me a lot while I was there. Same pattern every time: "I love you. I need you...", but when I wouldn't swoon he'd turn nasty and hateful. He still kept insisting his Columbus pals were NOT enablers. When I got home from the trip on Sunday, I found him completely drunk at the house. I told him I hated to see him that way and he replied, "Well, thanks for not being here." I said, "I CAN'T be here," and I left.
The next day (this past Monday), I got a text at 9:30 AM that said, "I'm going to kill myself when I'm finished typing this. Take care of the dogs...I love you." I didn't cave. I called his mother who had just spoken with him and she also told me not to cave. I did, however, tell his friends, Rob and Patrick, about his text message. They both told me later that they'd been trying to contact him, but he wouldn't answer the phone. Well, I knew that if there was ONE person whose call he would take, it was Kerri's.
I looked her number up on our cell phone bill and ended up having a two-hour long conversation with her. Ladies and gentleman, my husband was not only having an affair (duh), but he is a pathological liar. I had noticed his lying had gotten worse recently, but I was just so focussed on his other issues that I didn't think much of it. However, the things that I found out in that conversation with Kerri BLEW me away! They blew her away, too, because he's been lying to her just as much. For example, the incident that supposedly lead to his relapse when she had the big freak-out and hid under the table and had to be physically removed from the restaurant NEVER HAPPENED. And that's just ONE example.
So, at that point I knew my marriage was over, but there WAS reason to be concerned about him killing himelf because Kerri said he wasn't taking her calls, either. At that point, I called the police. They ended up taking him to an ER and from there he was transferred to a crisis center. I made the decision Monday night to move back into my house for good and start divorce proceedings.
I have spoken with my AH. He called from the crisis center his first night there and that's when I told him I had spoken to Kerri. He barely said anything. I mean, what COULD he say at that point? I did yell at him, though, and told him all the things I found out were lies, but he actually still defended some of them! I believe he is truly mentally ill. I think he actually believes a lot of the lies he tells.
Then, yesterday I find out there was ANOTHER girl he was lying to before he even went into rehab, and that poor girl is now in therapy because of him! He had all but convinced her to leave her husband, and they have two kids!
Anyway, it doesn't even matter. All I care about right now is getting my life back. I had the locks on my doors changed this morning and I have an appointment with a divorce attorney tomorrow afternoon. He checked himself out of the crisis center this morning and has already come by the house to get some clothes, but it went well. I wasn't nice to him by any stretch of the imagination, and I certainly wasn't letting him play any sympathy cards with me, but he was humble and he did say that he realizes that what he's done is unfixable. I told him that when I calm down we ARE going to have to work together to get through this mess and he agreed, but then I made it perfectly clear that I was referring to our financial matters and NOT our marriage. The marriage is over.
It's all just so surreal. I feel kind of numb. Keep in mind, I didn't even fully realize he was an alcoholic until this past April, which was only three months ago!!!! Up until that point, I was a blissfully happily married woman and he was the love of my life! THREE MONTHS AGO! In three months I have had to accept that he's an alcoholic, take measures to educate myself so that I could be as supportive as possible, help him through detox, be there for him through the first relapse, see him through a 21-day stay in rehab, then deal with other icky, guilty, jealous feelings about his Columbus "support group", then find out that he's an adulterous pathological liar, and now I'm kicking him out of the house and starting divorce proceedings!!!!!!!!!! Can you say.....Twilight Zone??!?!?! That's exactly where I feel like I am right now. Nobody can believe all the crap I've been going through.
You know what, though? Everything is going to be okay. I mean, I have to get through the financial mess first and I'm worried to death about what's going to happen to my three dogs, but when it's all said and done I'm going to be MUCH happier without that poison in my life. He is seriously mentally ill and I hope he gets help and gets his life back together, but that's where it ends. I may want the best for him still, but I'm not going to worry about him anymore.
He did NOT show up to the Lebowski Fest, but he texted me a lot while I was there. Same pattern every time: "I love you. I need you...", but when I wouldn't swoon he'd turn nasty and hateful. He still kept insisting his Columbus pals were NOT enablers. When I got home from the trip on Sunday, I found him completely drunk at the house. I told him I hated to see him that way and he replied, "Well, thanks for not being here." I said, "I CAN'T be here," and I left.
The next day (this past Monday), I got a text at 9:30 AM that said, "I'm going to kill myself when I'm finished typing this. Take care of the dogs...I love you." I didn't cave. I called his mother who had just spoken with him and she also told me not to cave. I did, however, tell his friends, Rob and Patrick, about his text message. They both told me later that they'd been trying to contact him, but he wouldn't answer the phone. Well, I knew that if there was ONE person whose call he would take, it was Kerri's.
I looked her number up on our cell phone bill and ended up having a two-hour long conversation with her. Ladies and gentleman, my husband was not only having an affair (duh), but he is a pathological liar. I had noticed his lying had gotten worse recently, but I was just so focussed on his other issues that I didn't think much of it. However, the things that I found out in that conversation with Kerri BLEW me away! They blew her away, too, because he's been lying to her just as much. For example, the incident that supposedly lead to his relapse when she had the big freak-out and hid under the table and had to be physically removed from the restaurant NEVER HAPPENED. And that's just ONE example.
So, at that point I knew my marriage was over, but there WAS reason to be concerned about him killing himelf because Kerri said he wasn't taking her calls, either. At that point, I called the police. They ended up taking him to an ER and from there he was transferred to a crisis center. I made the decision Monday night to move back into my house for good and start divorce proceedings.
I have spoken with my AH. He called from the crisis center his first night there and that's when I told him I had spoken to Kerri. He barely said anything. I mean, what COULD he say at that point? I did yell at him, though, and told him all the things I found out were lies, but he actually still defended some of them! I believe he is truly mentally ill. I think he actually believes a lot of the lies he tells.
Then, yesterday I find out there was ANOTHER girl he was lying to before he even went into rehab, and that poor girl is now in therapy because of him! He had all but convinced her to leave her husband, and they have two kids!
Anyway, it doesn't even matter. All I care about right now is getting my life back. I had the locks on my doors changed this morning and I have an appointment with a divorce attorney tomorrow afternoon. He checked himself out of the crisis center this morning and has already come by the house to get some clothes, but it went well. I wasn't nice to him by any stretch of the imagination, and I certainly wasn't letting him play any sympathy cards with me, but he was humble and he did say that he realizes that what he's done is unfixable. I told him that when I calm down we ARE going to have to work together to get through this mess and he agreed, but then I made it perfectly clear that I was referring to our financial matters and NOT our marriage. The marriage is over.
It's all just so surreal. I feel kind of numb. Keep in mind, I didn't even fully realize he was an alcoholic until this past April, which was only three months ago!!!! Up until that point, I was a blissfully happily married woman and he was the love of my life! THREE MONTHS AGO! In three months I have had to accept that he's an alcoholic, take measures to educate myself so that I could be as supportive as possible, help him through detox, be there for him through the first relapse, see him through a 21-day stay in rehab, then deal with other icky, guilty, jealous feelings about his Columbus "support group", then find out that he's an adulterous pathological liar, and now I'm kicking him out of the house and starting divorce proceedings!!!!!!!!!! Can you say.....Twilight Zone??!?!?! That's exactly where I feel like I am right now. Nobody can believe all the crap I've been going through.
You know what, though? Everything is going to be okay. I mean, I have to get through the financial mess first and I'm worried to death about what's going to happen to my three dogs, but when it's all said and done I'm going to be MUCH happier without that poison in my life. He is seriously mentally ill and I hope he gets help and gets his life back together, but that's where it ends. I may want the best for him still, but I'm not going to worry about him anymore.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 26
I posted on an old thread earlier, not realizing it was old and all that has happened since. I'm sorry for your pain. I know you are showing much anger, but, I am sure you feel much pain. Good luck to you and your next stage in life.
mergirl
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Paradise
Posts: 4,161
Holy cow!! What a difference a day makes indeed! I am so sorry your life has been turned upside down. It's going to be a rough ride for a bit dear, I am glad you are on SR for support, and I am so happy to hear the strength in your post.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 40
Originally Posted by keithj
Hi Kitty,
As a recovered alcoholic, I'm sure I see things from a different perspective than you. But delusional behavior is the same for all of us. We just can't see it until we can see it.
With kindness, I'll point out...
I hope you are done trying to control a situation that is beyond your abilty to control.
As a recovered alcoholic, I'm sure I see things from a different perspective than you. But delusional behavior is the same for all of us. We just can't see it until we can see it.
With kindness, I'll point out...
I hope you are done trying to control a situation that is beyond your abilty to control.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,059
hi kitty-
i think many of us have been in a situation with our addict that escalated to life threatening. you did what you felt was best out of love for your husband. you also took steps to keep yourself safe from further harm.
i'm sorry about the pain you must be feeling. i know that trip, having had the triple whammy myself. i found some support on survivinginfidelity.com in regards to the emotional turmoil from his affair. there is a special forum for infidelity due to alcohol.
i think many of us have been in a situation with our addict that escalated to life threatening. you did what you felt was best out of love for your husband. you also took steps to keep yourself safe from further harm.
i'm sorry about the pain you must be feeling. i know that trip, having had the triple whammy myself. i found some support on survivinginfidelity.com in regards to the emotional turmoil from his affair. there is a special forum for infidelity due to alcohol.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Tampa, Florida
Posts: 108
Kitty, What a mess! I can't believe you seem to be doing so well. You sure know what you want and your not going to settle for any less.
I also would have called if I thought my XABF was going to kill himself. I would have made every call under the sun! We may not be able to control it, but if you had sat by and let him die, the guilt would have eaten at you. You did everything you could.
I'm sorry your marriage can't be saved, but kudos to you for staying strong and taking action!
:praying
I also would have called if I thought my XABF was going to kill himself. I would have made every call under the sun! We may not be able to control it, but if you had sat by and let him die, the guilt would have eaten at you. You did everything you could.
I'm sorry your marriage can't be saved, but kudos to you for staying strong and taking action!
:praying
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 237
I also wanted to reply and say that I am so sorry that life has thrown you for a loop like this, but you do sound strong and determined. It's very hard to keep the focus on yourself during times like these, so I will pray for you that you keep finding the strength to do just that. You didn't cause it, you can't control it, and you can't cure it. Repeat as a mantra if necessary.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 40
Everyone here is so great. Really. I honestly believe you guys have helped me through this. I even told my therapist about this forum when I had my first session the other day. Oh yeah, I don't know if I have mentioned that here yet, but I AM going to therapy. I actually had scheduled an appointment last week before I had even separated from my husband. Wow. This really has happened very quickly!!! When I scheduled the appointment with the therapist, it was to help me cope with the gulity/jealous feelings I was having about my AH going to Columbus all the time. I wanted her to help me understand his need to seek help and depend upon other people so much. When I walked in her office this past Tuesday, though, I basically said, "Boy, have I got a story for you!" She even let me run over my time by about a half hour because it took that long just to get the details out! She was blown away and suggested about 10 different personality disorders that he could be dealing with, but the bottom line is that she said I am handling it all extremely well. Hearing that from a professional really made me feel good. LOL! I guess I've been a little worried that I might be handling it all a little TOO well. I'm sure at some point I will have my meltdown (probably after the divorce and everything is final), but for now I seem to just have mini-meltdowns that last just a few minutes and then I'm fine.
Anyway, I have an appointment with a divorce attorney today. Eek! Such a big step! I'm feeling better and better about the decision every day, though. Yesterday was difficult because I talked to him twice and I could tell he was really eating humble pie, but it still didn't change my overall opinion of what he's done. I'm actually quite certain at this point that there is NOTHING he can say to make me feel sorry for him. I do think that eventually I will forgive him for what he's done because he IS a sick person, but forgiveness is a long way away.
Anyway, I have an appointment with a divorce attorney today. Eek! Such a big step! I'm feeling better and better about the decision every day, though. Yesterday was difficult because I talked to him twice and I could tell he was really eating humble pie, but it still didn't change my overall opinion of what he's done. I'm actually quite certain at this point that there is NOTHING he can say to make me feel sorry for him. I do think that eventually I will forgive him for what he's done because he IS a sick person, but forgiveness is a long way away.
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Join Date: May 2006
Location: UK
Posts: 1,149
you are doing very well Kitty, be proud of yourself, you have had an enormous upheaval of your world: I feel flabbergasted and am reeling just reading your story, but you are putting your best feet forward, allowing your feelings time and dealing with what is, not what is said.
:ghug2
:ghug2
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,059
kitty-
i just wanted to address the suicide threats. mine did this too, and i've read here of it many times. i haven't read of any of our alcoholics actually following thru on it and dying. not to say it doesn't happen but it seems this is a common threat of the A when he is faced with the consequences of his lying and sees that you mean business.
recently, mine ended up sleeping on his mother's grave in the cemetary, while calling me saying he was going to stab himself to see how much pain he could withstand. there seems to me to be a mood of "i'll punish myself before god can" in their confused, drunken thinking.
the previous time i split with him, he said he was going to drink until he died, and then set about to do it. he ended up hemmoraging from the nose and because his blood was so thin from the alcohol, bled for days and days until he called himself for an ambulance, once he started literally choking on the blood clots.
not a nice story, but i wanted to share it with you so you are prepared. once mine stopped bleeding and healed (under my caring watch), he just went back to drinking again, now that i was back and caring for the household and him.
stand firm!
i just wanted to address the suicide threats. mine did this too, and i've read here of it many times. i haven't read of any of our alcoholics actually following thru on it and dying. not to say it doesn't happen but it seems this is a common threat of the A when he is faced with the consequences of his lying and sees that you mean business.
recently, mine ended up sleeping on his mother's grave in the cemetary, while calling me saying he was going to stab himself to see how much pain he could withstand. there seems to me to be a mood of "i'll punish myself before god can" in their confused, drunken thinking.
the previous time i split with him, he said he was going to drink until he died, and then set about to do it. he ended up hemmoraging from the nose and because his blood was so thin from the alcohol, bled for days and days until he called himself for an ambulance, once he started literally choking on the blood clots.
not a nice story, but i wanted to share it with you so you are prepared. once mine stopped bleeding and healed (under my caring watch), he just went back to drinking again, now that i was back and caring for the household and him.
stand firm!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Toronto, Canada
Posts: 390
kitty, i haven't posted but have followed your story. I'm very sorry about how things have gone; I saw how supportive and optimistic you were. But you took it as it came, and didn't worry or accuse until it all kind of unfolded for you. Your questions were eventually answered. Stay strong, we're all behind you here.
aka Miss Scarlett O'Hara
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 364
This is sort of a different way to look at your situation...
Reading your post, I was almost jealous. Does that make any sense at all?? NO!!! However, you had some extreme pain quickly and now you can get out and move on. I actually kind of wish that my abf would cheat on me and do all of the stuff your AH did so I'd have a clear-cut reason to run! I know these are my own issues that i need to deal with by-the-way
.
But I guess the bright side of your situation is that it didn't have to drag out for years. You were willing to stand by your husband's side and you probably would have stuck around for the roller coaster much longer than you did and it would probably have done more damage to you in the long run.
Good for you for taking control of your life and getting the heck out of there. Take care and best wishes for a happy, healthy, peaceful future.
Reading your post, I was almost jealous. Does that make any sense at all?? NO!!! However, you had some extreme pain quickly and now you can get out and move on. I actually kind of wish that my abf would cheat on me and do all of the stuff your AH did so I'd have a clear-cut reason to run! I know these are my own issues that i need to deal with by-the-way
. But I guess the bright side of your situation is that it didn't have to drag out for years. You were willing to stand by your husband's side and you probably would have stuck around for the roller coaster much longer than you did and it would probably have done more damage to you in the long run.
Good for you for taking control of your life and getting the heck out of there. Take care and best wishes for a happy, healthy, peaceful future.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 245
Way to go. I suspected he was cheating when you told the story the first time. Do you think you can stay in the house--afford it? If so, then you don't have to worry about yoru dogs. Maybe your dad will take the dogs or maybe you rent some of the house out so you can stay there. Just brainstorming.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 40
Originally Posted by justtired
This is sort of a different way to look at your situation...
Reading your post, I was almost jealous. Does that make any sense at all?? NO!!! However, you had some extreme pain quickly and now you can get out and move on. I actually kind of wish that my abf would cheat on me and do all of the stuff your AH did so I'd have a clear-cut reason to run! I know these are my own issues that i need to deal with by-the-way.
But I guess the bright side of your situation is that it didn't have to drag out for years. You were willing to stand by your husband's side and you probably would have stuck around for the roller coaster much longer than you did and it would probably have done more damage to you in the long run.
Good for you for taking control of your life and getting the heck out of there. Take care and best wishes for a happy, healthy, peaceful future.
Reading your post, I was almost jealous. Does that make any sense at all?? NO!!! However, you had some extreme pain quickly and now you can get out and move on. I actually kind of wish that my abf would cheat on me and do all of the stuff your AH did so I'd have a clear-cut reason to run! I know these are my own issues that i need to deal with by-the-way
. But I guess the bright side of your situation is that it didn't have to drag out for years. You were willing to stand by your husband's side and you probably would have stuck around for the roller coaster much longer than you did and it would probably have done more damage to you in the long run.
Good for you for taking control of your life and getting the heck out of there. Take care and best wishes for a happy, healthy, peaceful future.
It is strange that you posted this, because while trying to search for "bright sides" yesterday I actually thought about how "lucky" I am that this is just being nipped in the bud. I mean, my God! I actually feel awful saying this, but I have been BLOWN AWAY by some of the stories I've read here from women who have been with their AH's through multiple attempts at rehabilitation and multiple relapses, sometimes occurring after months of sobriety. Despite how strong I may appear in my current situation, I don't know if I would have been able to go through the relapse/rehabilitation cycle with him many more times than what I already did. I mean, after just ONE cycle I prayed that he would be one of those "miracle recoveries" so that we would never have to go through that again. I especially cannot imagine how you wives must feel when your AH relapses after MONTHS of sobriety. The longest my AH has made it so far is 34 days, and when he relapsed recently it felt like I was dying inside. The pain and disappointment of it is soooooo excruciating. My heart definitely goes out to those of you who have been dealing with this for much longer than I have, and I am sure there are many of you.
I don't mean to make it sound like I'm going, "Whew! At least I don't have to play the 'alcoholic's wife' role for the rest of my life!" It's not like that at all. I jumped into that role head-first. I was MORE than willing to do all that he needed of me to support him in his recovery for the rest of his life. I accepted it and figured that if this is how our life was going to be from now on, so be it. I never once even thought to complain or feel sorry for myself.
However, with that said, I would be lying if I didn't say I am somewhat relieved that I am no longer going to be playing that roll for MY husband. I am sure we all play that roll differently. For me, I felt like I lived in a minefield. I was on constant eggshells around him, always afraid of saying or doing the wrong thing. Of course, HE'S the one who made me feel that way by constantly threatening me with a relapse, but that's what I'm saying. THAT is what I am not going to miss. Not one bit.
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 1,103
I agree-I think the whole suicide thing is common and probably stems from the same deep self-hatred that makes someone spiral into addiction in the first place, as well as an attempt to manipulate the co-dependent into staying.
My sister was with her axh for fifteen years and didn't leave until one night in a drunken depressed episode, he slashed his wrists in front of her and got taken off to the mental hospital.
My sister was with her axh for fifteen years and didn't leave until one night in a drunken depressed episode, he slashed his wrists in front of her and got taken off to the mental hospital.
Originally Posted by naive
kitty-
i just wanted to address the suicide threats. mine did this too, and i've read here of it many times. i haven't read of any of our alcoholics actually following thru on it and dying. not to say it doesn't happen but it seems this is a common threat of the A when he is faced with the consequences of his lying and sees that you mean business.
recently, mine ended up sleeping on his mother's grave in the cemetary, while calling me saying he was going to stab himself to see how much pain he could withstand. there seems to me to be a mood of "i'll punish myself before god can" in their confused, drunken thinking.
the previous time i split with him, he said he was going to drink until he died, and then set about to do it. he ended up hemmoraging from the nose and because his blood was so thin from the alcohol, bled for days and days until he called himself for an ambulance, once he started literally choking on the blood clots.
not a nice story, but i wanted to share it with you so you are prepared. once mine stopped bleeding and healed (under my caring watch), he just went back to drinking again, now that i was back and caring for the household and him.
stand firm!
i just wanted to address the suicide threats. mine did this too, and i've read here of it many times. i haven't read of any of our alcoholics actually following thru on it and dying. not to say it doesn't happen but it seems this is a common threat of the A when he is faced with the consequences of his lying and sees that you mean business.
recently, mine ended up sleeping on his mother's grave in the cemetary, while calling me saying he was going to stab himself to see how much pain he could withstand. there seems to me to be a mood of "i'll punish myself before god can" in their confused, drunken thinking.
the previous time i split with him, he said he was going to drink until he died, and then set about to do it. he ended up hemmoraging from the nose and because his blood was so thin from the alcohol, bled for days and days until he called himself for an ambulance, once he started literally choking on the blood clots.
not a nice story, but i wanted to share it with you so you are prepared. once mine stopped bleeding and healed (under my caring watch), he just went back to drinking again, now that i was back and caring for the household and him.
stand firm!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Wizard Land Downunder
Posts: 2,615
Hi Kitty, I am thankful you aren't going to keep on riding the whirlwind like so many of us have done for many years. Yes, I know all about the minefield and eggshell walking has been done so often that I could win a Gold if it was an olympic event.
You did exactly as you needed re his "suicidal" effort, and I don't see it as Codie behavior, just a caring human trying to stop someone from dying.
I admire you so much and hope all works out for you with a real future ahead.
God bless
You did exactly as you needed re his "suicidal" effort, and I don't see it as Codie behavior, just a caring human trying to stop someone from dying.
I admire you so much and hope all works out for you with a real future ahead.
God bless
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