miserable
once in a . . .
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2004
Location: looking in / looking out
Posts: 1,214
It doesn't feel like I'm doing great or even so-so -- I'm not doing as good as I was a few weeks ago cuz I'm going thru bi-polar med changes - and oh! I just realized that it ALWAYS sucks to have to do that - sigh
I think the bottom line is that I have never really figured out how to live in the moment when that moment REALLY SUCKS -- I tend to think that it is going to be this way forever (cuz it sure feels that way!) (and then I hear my Granma's voice "Why are ye so fearful, oh ye of little faith?") (my avatar is me trying to fill Granma's shoes)
MUSIC! I had thought of that and then promptly forgot
that'd be much better to do my laps and exercises to than the tick-tick-tick in my brain -
oh and YOGA! I've always been interested in that, have never had the chance to try it and it's another motivator to get back in walking shape - they have classes downtown which is walking distance - also my old gym is downtown - all things I would like to be doing -
today has real suck-potential - I didn't manage to get out of bed until 11am and I'll probably beat myself up for it all day -
when someone else is saying these things, I know what to say to them (and I BELIEVE it) when it's ME thinking the negative things, I can't get out of it - I've never understood that ---
ok - I've managed to think of a couple of positive things without even realizing it!
now I'm going to go work on my family tree program and exercise my BRAIN.
Blue
I think the bottom line is that I have never really figured out how to live in the moment when that moment REALLY SUCKS -- I tend to think that it is going to be this way forever (cuz it sure feels that way!) (and then I hear my Granma's voice "Why are ye so fearful, oh ye of little faith?") (my avatar is me trying to fill Granma's shoes)
MUSIC! I had thought of that and then promptly forgot
that'd be much better to do my laps and exercises to than the tick-tick-tick in my brain - oh and YOGA! I've always been interested in that, have never had the chance to try it and it's another motivator to get back in walking shape - they have classes downtown which is walking distance - also my old gym is downtown - all things I would like to be doing -
today has real suck-potential - I didn't manage to get out of bed until 11am and I'll probably beat myself up for it all day -
when someone else is saying these things, I know what to say to them (and I BELIEVE it) when it's ME thinking the negative things, I can't get out of it - I've never understood that ---
ok - I've managed to think of a couple of positive things without even realizing it!
now I'm going to go work on my family tree program and exercise my BRAIN.
Blue
A jug fills drop by drop
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
Hi Bluemoon,
I am so happy you are posting more often... it's really great to hear from you.
Regarding yoga, you can start from your own home! Of course its always better to have an instructor... but there are some really simple movements you can do, even in bed, they are worth checking out!
There are videos for beginner's yoga at home, or also books, perhaps you could order one online? Or look for some Internet resources. For instance, you can just sit and perform the following neck exercises (given you do not have any neck issues!):
Neck Exercises
Yoga, Postures, Neck Exercises, asanas
Eye Exercises
Yoga, Postures, Eye Exercises, asanas
Breath Exercises
Yoga, Pranayama, Breathing exercise, Retained Breath Exercise
Or also, another mini idea, is to check for local yoga listings and perhaps have a yoga instructor go to your home and give you simple exercises suited to you... it may very well may be worth the $$ so you have another "home routine" to add
I get all excited about yoga... I just cannot help it
I am so happy you are posting more often... it's really great to hear from you.
Regarding yoga, you can start from your own home! Of course its always better to have an instructor... but there are some really simple movements you can do, even in bed, they are worth checking out!
There are videos for beginner's yoga at home, or also books, perhaps you could order one online? Or look for some Internet resources. For instance, you can just sit and perform the following neck exercises (given you do not have any neck issues!):
Neck Exercises
Yoga, Postures, Neck Exercises, asanas
Eye Exercises
Yoga, Postures, Eye Exercises, asanas
Breath Exercises
Yoga, Pranayama, Breathing exercise, Retained Breath Exercise
Or also, another mini idea, is to check for local yoga listings and perhaps have a yoga instructor go to your home and give you simple exercises suited to you... it may very well may be worth the $$ so you have another "home routine" to add
I get all excited about yoga... I just cannot help it
once in a . . .
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2004
Location: looking in / looking out
Posts: 1,214
kewl! and thanks! I'll check them out. The breathing ones especially sound interesting cuz I have problems with that when I get over anxious/panicky - : |
I am trying to NOT beat myself up for today - after all, my goal was to do laps, exercise and walk down the stairs to get the mail and I did all of it --- whay does it never feel like enough?!?!?
and thanks! I'll check them out. The breathing ones especially sound interesting cuz I have problems with that when I get over anxious/panicky - : |I am trying to NOT beat myself up for today - after all, my goal was to do laps, exercise and walk down the stairs to get the mail and I did all of it --- whay does it never feel like enough?!?!?
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Between the ocean and the mountains
Posts: 653
Hello Blue Moon!
My dearest friends stuck by me for the long time I was struggling and we will stick by you!
Life moves in cycles, BlueMoon. Believe it. It really does. Let that wheel of life turn for you, ever so steadily and surely.
And find some good music! It is the gift from the cosmos to us. The angels in disguise! (My son played Heavy Metal guitar and even that is from angels....just the rebellious ones.
My dearest friends stuck by me for the long time I was struggling and we will stick by you!
Life moves in cycles, BlueMoon. Believe it. It really does. Let that wheel of life turn for you, ever so steadily and surely.
And find some good music! It is the gift from the cosmos to us. The angels in disguise! (My son played Heavy Metal guitar and even that is from angels....just the rebellious ones
.
A jug fills drop by drop
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
Hi again Bluemoon!
I have read that in India they use breathing techniques for physical/mental aches, anxiety, feeling cold, physical pain, etc... as many times they do not have the medical resources we got, or enough clothing, etc. so that is why they developed several breathing techniques. Breathing holds so much power, and very few people actually tap on it, here in the West we do not even know how to breath deeply and appropiately!
Regarding the "never enough" voice I would like to share with you an exercise from my therapy: draw the "clumsy monster" that has that voice.. and post it wherever you can see it!! When you hear that voice telling you its not enough, just see how small and ridiculous (sp?) that monster is!! And know that voice is not you... it's just a little thing talking, and we do not care about it or what it has to say AT ALL
Congrats on achieving today's goals!!
PS LOL bluejay
PPS What kind of music did you play or do you like? I would send you the youtube of the music I play when doing the chores at home, but its blocked at work.. I will post it later, some Latin cumbia, its guaranteed to lift your spirits
I have read that in India they use breathing techniques for physical/mental aches, anxiety, feeling cold, physical pain, etc... as many times they do not have the medical resources we got, or enough clothing, etc. so that is why they developed several breathing techniques. Breathing holds so much power, and very few people actually tap on it, here in the West we do not even know how to breath deeply and appropiately!
Regarding the "never enough" voice I would like to share with you an exercise from my therapy: draw the "clumsy monster" that has that voice.. and post it wherever you can see it!! When you hear that voice telling you its not enough, just see how small and ridiculous (sp?) that monster is!! And know that voice is not you... it's just a little thing talking, and we do not care about it or what it has to say AT ALL
Congrats on achieving today's goals!!
PS LOL bluejay
PPS What kind of music did you play or do you like? I would send you the youtube of the music I play when doing the chores at home, but its blocked at work.. I will post it later, some Latin cumbia, its guaranteed to lift your spirits
once in a . . .
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2004
Location: looking in / looking out
Posts: 1,214
thank you for saying you'll stick by me - I really need that - really Really REALLY!
I put posting here on my list of daily goals - I need help in maintaining my perspective thru this
Hubby will be home soon and that is just the best part of the day cuz he is so opposite of me - all up and bouncy and happy
he must like me or something cuz he keeps coming home even tho I really am a wreck right now and I haven't bathed for a week --- (eeeeew - that's due to be put on the list soon, just not right now)
Blue
I put posting here on my list of daily goals - I need help in maintaining my perspective thru this
Hubby will be home soon and that is just the best part of the day cuz he is so opposite of me - all up and bouncy and happy
he must like me or something cuz he keeps coming home even tho I really am a wreck right now and I haven't bathed for a week --- (eeeeew - that's due to be put on the list soon, just not right now)Blue
once in a . . .
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2004
Location: looking in / looking out
Posts: 1,214
well today has been stressful so far - AH took some time off to help me go to the lab for a blood draw to check medication levels. I have been SO stressed about it and I'm not sure WHY - I'm not afraid of the blood draw part, just more stressed about getting to the lab cuz I can barely walk. Anyway, we get all the way to where the lab USED TO BE only to find out they're out of business! We came home and called around and found another lab - it's TWO BLOCKS from my house! *geesh*
It was too late to go today (it's a timed thing) but son says he'll help me go next week
I heard from a friend last night for the 1st time in months - I'd called and left her a msg last week and she was on vacation - I'm not sure if this is a good thing or not, she tends to motor-mouth on + on and makes me nuts but was also the only person I felt comfortable calling - (she's in the program too)
my legs hurt from exercising and from walking this morning - it wasn't very far but still more than I'm used to - waaaaaaaah
I'm really mad that I didn't get to have the blood draw today - now I'll be stressed out for another week ---------------
I feel like hell + I feel very WHINY
Blue
It was too late to go today (it's a timed thing) but son says he'll help me go next week
I heard from a friend last night for the 1st time in months - I'd called and left her a msg last week and she was on vacation - I'm not sure if this is a good thing or not, she tends to motor-mouth on + on and makes me nuts but was also the only person I felt comfortable calling - (she's in the program too)
my legs hurt from exercising and from walking this morning - it wasn't very far but still more than I'm used to - waaaaaaaah
I'm really mad that I didn't get to have the blood draw today - now I'll be stressed out for another week ---------------
I feel like hell + I feel very WHINY
Blue
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Stumbling toward happiness
Posts: 4,706
Thanks for checking in, blue moon. I'll be watching for your posts every day 
What is the source of your stress about the blood draw? What's the worst-case scenario? Sometimes, just calling that out into the bright light can help it not to be so stressful.
And believe it or not, the fact that you're tired and sore from exercising is a GOOD THING! It means the muscle fibers in your body are having to rebuild because you're stepping up what you're demanding of them, and it's about time those little whippersnappers got whipped into shape!
Keep on keepin' on.
What is the source of your stress about the blood draw? What's the worst-case scenario? Sometimes, just calling that out into the bright light can help it not to be so stressful.
And believe it or not, the fact that you're tired and sore from exercising is a GOOD THING! It means the muscle fibers in your body are having to rebuild because you're stepping up what you're demanding of them, and it's about time those little whippersnappers got whipped into shape!
Keep on keepin' on.
once in a . . .
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2004
Location: looking in / looking out
Posts: 1,214
I think I'm agoraphobic, at least to an extent. That's why I haven't been going out at all and that's how I've gotten so out of shape. It's yet another piece of the puzzle. Something I've struggled with for years --
As for the worst thing that could happen?
I'm terrified of getting somewhere and not being able to get home ..... and then it spreads from there -
As for the worst thing that could happen?
I'm terrified of getting somewhere and not being able to get home ..... and then it spreads from there -
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Between the ocean and the mountains
Posts: 653
Hi Blue Moon, So sorry about that lab mix-up! I personally am a bit phobic about blood tests (sounds as though you are not), and it takes me a few running starts (like cancelling appts) until I get there .
I can sure sense your anxiety about some things in your life and just want to remind you that you are loved by God (however you perceive your God) and that keeping "conscious contact" with Him through prayer (however you do that) can bring you comfort and peace. In my very worst times, I felt it was all I had, and I do not know how I would have made it without my faith that no matter what, if I reached out (or up) Someone would reach back. My spiritual life deepened so much and it changed me forever. I had always been spiritual, but not until I was engulfed with crisis that broke me did I really come to know "a Power greater than myself."
I searched out books that comforted me. One was by Sue Monk Kidd (who wrote the Secret Life of Bees) called "When the Heart Waits". It is her story of two very hard years in her life and how she waited on God to bring her through it, as she examined herself and her life. It helped me as I waited to get better.
It's okay to be whiny.. xx
. I can sure sense your anxiety about some things in your life and just want to remind you that you are loved by God (however you perceive your God) and that keeping "conscious contact" with Him through prayer (however you do that) can bring you comfort and peace. In my very worst times, I felt it was all I had, and I do not know how I would have made it without my faith that no matter what, if I reached out (or up) Someone would reach back. My spiritual life deepened so much and it changed me forever. I had always been spiritual, but not until I was engulfed with crisis that broke me did I really come to know "a Power greater than myself."
I searched out books that comforted me. One was by Sue Monk Kidd (who wrote the Secret Life of Bees) called "When the Heart Waits". It is her story of two very hard years in her life and how she waited on God to bring her through it, as she examined herself and her life. It helped me as I waited to get better.
It's okay to be whiny.
. xx
once in a . . .
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2004
Location: looking in / looking out
Posts: 1,214
but i don't liiiiiiiiike being whineeeeeeeeeey!
at least I'm not afraid of the actual blood draw. I guess that's a positive thing in all this. I'm gonna talk with hubby when he gets home from work and make a plan for the next attempt.
I can't shake the shakes today and it's frustrating as heck.
I feel OLD and decrepit and like I'm falling apart.
At least it's 1/2 over .......
at least I'm not afraid of the actual blood draw. I guess that's a positive thing in all this. I'm gonna talk with hubby when he gets home from work and make a plan for the next attempt.
I can't shake the shakes today and it's frustrating as heck.
I feel OLD and decrepit and like I'm falling apart.
At least it's 1/2 over .......
Last edited by BlueMoon; 06-04-2009 at 01:02 PM. Reason: brain cramp
A jug fills drop by drop
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
Hi BlueMoon!
When I get scared or anxious about health checkups or tests, I remember how the majority of the people on this planet have no access to medical facilities or doctors, and I feel blessed I have $$ and live in a city where it is very simple and cheap to find a doctor....
Hope you feel better!! I will post another thread with links to youtube videos, at least I will distract you a little
When I get scared or anxious about health checkups or tests, I remember how the majority of the people on this planet have no access to medical facilities or doctors, and I feel blessed I have $$ and live in a city where it is very simple and cheap to find a doctor....
Hope you feel better!! I will post another thread with links to youtube videos, at least I will distract you a little
once in a . . .
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2004
Location: looking in / looking out
Posts: 1,214
yeah, I'm gonna have to pay for this lab test out-of-pocket which really sucks ---- til I remember at least I HAVE a pocket, small tho it my be (I'm on SSDI)
I got brave (had to) and called the lab to double check that it was the right place and basic info like that and got Good News ---> they ARE open on Sat. morning and so we can go tomorrow and be done with it - HoOrAy! Pretty soon I can quit obsessing and worrying about it
Yet ANOTHER weird fear I have to deal with is taking a bath - I can't shower cuz I'm afraid of falling - I can't stand for very long --
What's wrong with taking a bath? I'm not sure - I just start getting major panic attacks when I think of it -it's very difficult to get out of the tub and I'm scared of getting stuck of hurt -- and I've gained so much weight that it's a very tight fit *grimace*
I might bragain with myself and trade that for exercises today
I feel really rotten today even with the good news stuff - I know that's the med changes - and it's not quite as bad as it was but it's still horribly unpleasant - Hubby doesn't understand cuz it's been 3 weeks and shouldn't I be ok by now? Ummm, noooo - it's a constant change until I'm OFF that damned med ---
(I'm on SSDI)I got brave (had to) and called the lab to double check that it was the right place and basic info like that and got Good News ---> they ARE open on Sat. morning and so we can go tomorrow and be done with it - HoOrAy! Pretty soon I can quit obsessing and worrying about it
Yet ANOTHER weird fear I have to deal with is taking a bath - I can't shower cuz I'm afraid of falling - I can't stand for very long --
What's wrong with taking a bath? I'm not sure - I just start getting major panic attacks when I think of it -it's very difficult to get out of the tub and I'm scared of getting stuck of hurt -- and I've gained so much weight that it's a very tight fit *grimace*
I might bragain with myself and trade that for exercises today
I feel really rotten today even with the good news stuff - I know that's the med changes - and it's not quite as bad as it was but it's still horribly unpleasant - Hubby doesn't understand cuz it's been 3 weeks and shouldn't I be ok by now? Ummm, noooo - it's a constant change until I'm OFF that damned med ---
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Stumbling toward happiness
Posts: 4,706
Hey blue moon, thanks for checking in!
I think a bath-for-exercise swap sounds okay. Whatever works, right?
Have you & husband considered installing some bars or handles in your tub/shower? I've seen so many of those, designed for people who have poor balance or fears for their safety -- whatever the reason, there are LOTS of reasons -- and I'm always amazed at the cool new stuff they think up. It's just a few screws, zip zip zip, and you might feel much more safe & comfortable in there. My mom-in-law also had a cool waterproof chair (another one of these whizzy products) she put in there when she just didn't feel up to showering. She'd just turn on the warm water, sit down, and wash her hair.
Of course, I'm a sucker for those kinds of things
Take care of yourself!
GL
I think a bath-for-exercise swap sounds okay. Whatever works, right?
Have you & husband considered installing some bars or handles in your tub/shower? I've seen so many of those, designed for people who have poor balance or fears for their safety -- whatever the reason, there are LOTS of reasons -- and I'm always amazed at the cool new stuff they think up. It's just a few screws, zip zip zip, and you might feel much more safe & comfortable in there. My mom-in-law also had a cool waterproof chair (another one of these whizzy products) she put in there when she just didn't feel up to showering. She'd just turn on the warm water, sit down, and wash her hair.
Of course, I'm a sucker for those kinds of things
Take care of yourself!
GL
once in a . . .
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2004
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ok I took a bath and washed my hair - I thought I'd feel better but am going to have to just settle for smelling slightly better - bah!
I realized in the tub that that is NOT what I'm afraid of - what I'm afraid of is EVERYTHING and it's because of the (@#* tapering off of my med - - I feel insane- I think I would be if I didn't have this forum to whine and vent to - I just don't want to DO this any more, I am SOOOOOOO tired of it
today is bad because it was the first day of the next step down in dosage -
I want to call the doctor and tell him never mind, I changed my mind, I don't care if it makes me gain ANOTHER 50 plus pounds I can't stand feeling scared about everything all the time --- i NEEEEEEED to know WHEN this is going to get better!
whine whine whine
anxiety order is just so much fun
I realized in the tub that that is NOT what I'm afraid of - what I'm afraid of is EVERYTHING and it's because of the (@#* tapering off of my med - - I feel insane- I think I would be if I didn't have this forum to whine and vent to - I just don't want to DO this any more, I am SOOOOOOO tired of it
today is bad because it was the first day of the next step down in dosage -
I want to call the doctor and tell him never mind, I changed my mind, I don't care if it makes me gain ANOTHER 50 plus pounds I can't stand feeling scared about everything all the time --- i NEEEEEEED to know WHEN this is going to get better!
whine whine whine
anxiety order is just so much fun
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Between the ocean and the mountains
Posts: 653
Hi Blue Moon,
I am so sorry those meds are unbalancing you! If you read the Substance Abuse forum, you'll find many others like you tapering off of medications and trying to hang on through the physical and mental changes. Even though you are not an addict, your withdrawal/tapering from the meds has a similar note, and you may find some feeling of community just by reading that forum. I am just very glad you are under the care of a doctor for the bipolar.
What the addicts tell each other is find ways to alleviate just some of the tapering symptoms. They tell each other to sleep a lot, or take more baths....many forms of advice are given. You might browse the site and see if anything resonates with you.
I do know that you will find equilibrium, Blue Moon, you will find a steady foundation, and this hard period of anxiety and fear and your mind going places you do not like WILL subside and you will be better. You do not have to solve all your issues today, honey. Keep yourself comforted however you can, keep yourself feeling safe, and the days will come when this is all behind you and life feels normal again. You WILL get better, the meds WILL level out, and strength and confidence will return.
Hang on through this, pray to God, stick with this forum, and care for yourself as if you had just emerged from a crash and need tender, gentle, patient convalescence. Allow yourself to heal slowly and surely and let the days mark your passage to better things.
Call your doctor about your emotions if it gets rough, Blue. If you need the meds at a higher dose, and they complicate your desire to lose weight, then you can address the weight issues through Weight Watchers online. They have a great website.
Stick with us!!!
I am so sorry those meds are unbalancing you! If you read the Substance Abuse forum, you'll find many others like you tapering off of medications and trying to hang on through the physical and mental changes. Even though you are not an addict, your withdrawal/tapering from the meds has a similar note, and you may find some feeling of community just by reading that forum. I am just very glad you are under the care of a doctor for the bipolar.
What the addicts tell each other is find ways to alleviate just some of the tapering symptoms. They tell each other to sleep a lot, or take more baths....many forms of advice are given. You might browse the site and see if anything resonates with you.
I do know that you will find equilibrium, Blue Moon, you will find a steady foundation, and this hard period of anxiety and fear and your mind going places you do not like WILL subside and you will be better. You do not have to solve all your issues today, honey. Keep yourself comforted however you can, keep yourself feeling safe, and the days will come when this is all behind you and life feels normal again. You WILL get better, the meds WILL level out, and strength and confidence will return.
Hang on through this, pray to God, stick with this forum, and care for yourself as if you had just emerged from a crash and need tender, gentle, patient convalescence. Allow yourself to heal slowly and surely and let the days mark your passage to better things.
Call your doctor about your emotions if it gets rough, Blue. If you need the meds at a higher dose, and they complicate your desire to lose weight, then you can address the weight issues through Weight Watchers online. They have a great website.
Stick with us!!!
once in a . . .
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2004
Location: looking in / looking out
Posts: 1,214
well I FINALLY got my blood test done on Sat and itwent pretty easily in spite of all my worrying about walking. AH says I walked better than I have for almost a year! So I guess those silly laps araound the apartment ARE doing some good he sounded proud of me and you better believe I like that!
*I* am proud of me too and that should serve as incentive.
It REALLY WORE ME out tho and I came home and just crashed. Mostly from emotions I think.
Sat. AH went to my grocery store with my son and came home with 2 little girls saying "Can we spend the night Grandma? Can we huh?"
Well How am I going to turn them down? Even tho I didn't feel up to it, AH said he'd help so we had an 8yo and 9yo spend the night Saturday nite.
There's proof that I'm depressed cuz even 2 grand-daughters didn't really perk me up - I had to fake it with them and AH had them alot ----
I slept all sunday and til almost noon today . :P
Now I am back to beating myself up *grimace*
Blue
he sounded proud of me and you better believe I like that! *I* am proud of me too and that should serve as incentive.
It REALLY WORE ME out tho and I came home and just crashed. Mostly from emotions I think.
Sat. AH went to my grocery store with my son and came home with 2 little girls saying "Can we spend the night Grandma? Can we huh?"
Well How am I going to turn them down? Even tho I didn't feel up to it, AH said he'd help so we had an 8yo and 9yo spend the night Saturday nite.
There's proof that I'm depressed cuz even 2 grand-daughters didn't really perk me up - I had to fake it with them and AH had them alot ----
I slept all sunday and til almost noon today . :P
Now I am back to beating myself up *grimace*
Blue
once in a . . .
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2004
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oops - my post crossed with bluejays
actually, I AM a recovering alcoholic/addict, as well as the spouse of one -
I'll have to go check out the substance forum ........
You're right, I keep thinking that I have to solve ALL of this TODAY - maybe cuz it's so icky that I don't want to picture doing it tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow ....
I have an appt to see my doc next Monday and will get the results of my blood tests back then. Hopefully, I can go up on my lithium - that's one change I would actually like to make -
I'm trying not to sleep too much cuz then I can't seep at night - everything is such a precarious balance! I do sortof "zone out" here and there for a break now and then
actually, I AM a recovering alcoholic/addict, as well as the spouse of one -
I'll have to go check out the substance forum ........
You're right, I keep thinking that I have to solve ALL of this TODAY - maybe cuz it's so icky that I don't want to picture doing it tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow ....
I have an appt to see my doc next Monday and will get the results of my blood tests back then. Hopefully, I can go up on my lithium - that's one change I would actually like to make -
I'm trying not to sleep too much cuz then I can't seep at night - everything is such a precarious balance! I do sortof "zone out" here and there for a break now and then
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Between the ocean and the mountains
Posts: 653
Hi BlueMoon,
I'm glad you got the tests (and envious you do it so easily when I am terrified). And you know what? I have this theory about depression and sleep. While I realize medical depression creates either too much or too little sleeping....if there's going to be one or the other, I vote for too much. Depression is very hard on the brain tissue. We lose a lot of it while we are depressed. And sleep is so restorative in so many ways. One of God's smartest inventions. And I like to think that while you are sleeping, your brain is healing. Your heart too, for the heart also is affected. I like to think that the body actually might know what it's doing when it says "Sleep a little longer, Blue Moon."
I hope your lithium doses get leveled out for you soon, sweetie.
And it is totally cool you made the walk like a pro.
The day is coming when you will be you again and you can connect with your grandchildren with real happiness in your heart. For now, they LOVE you, and they love you just as you are. I am sure of it.
Bluejay
I'm glad you got the tests (and envious you do it so easily when I am terrified). And you know what? I have this theory about depression and sleep. While I realize medical depression creates either too much or too little sleeping....if there's going to be one or the other, I vote for too much. Depression is very hard on the brain tissue. We lose a lot of it while we are depressed. And sleep is so restorative in so many ways. One of God's smartest inventions. And I like to think that while you are sleeping, your brain is healing. Your heart too, for the heart also is affected. I like to think that the body actually might know what it's doing when it says "Sleep a little longer, Blue Moon."
I hope your lithium doses get leveled out for you soon, sweetie.
And it is totally cool you made the walk like a pro.
The day is coming when you will be you again and you can connect with your grandchildren with real happiness in your heart. For now, they LOVE you, and they love you just as you are. I am sure of it.
Bluejay
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