minnie

Only if that is your choice to do so, vr.

denny57

I believe consequences are suffered - just not the ones I had in mind or would choose to mete out if I ruled the world :-).

prodigal

I used to think it was the dog having "accidents" around the house (which is why all but the bedrooms are tiled) but then I realized it wasn't ALWAYS the dog. I figured out it was AH when I discovered the tiles on the floor around the toilet were covered with urine and so was the toilet lid. Uh, the dog is one of those low-to-the-floor breeds and could not possibly have hiked his leg up as far as the toilet lid. I guess AH just decided he was close enough that it didn't matter if he hit the floor or not.

I think some of the accidents he blames the dog for, aren't even the dog's. Jeesh, now he's beyond blaming me for his drunken lunacy, he's blaming a poor dumb animal. Now THAT is sad.

baggervance

I hosed down open suit case on a vacation one time think this was around the same time my invitations stopped ?????

respektingme

This is nuts. Dealing with someone peeing? I have a few friends who are nurses and do home health visits for older folks, and they take them Depends. What is wrong with this picture??? Older people who have problems with their bladder wear adult diapers. Why would anyone, alcoholic or not, think it's okay to pee on furniture or anywhere else in the house besides the toilet?

If I cut myself and I was bleeding, I wouldn't go lay my open wound across my AH's best dress shirt. I'd put a bandage on my cut. If I was having my period, I wouldn't bleed all over the couch. I'd use a Kotex (or Tampex). If I had a sinus infection, I wouldn't blow my nose on his toothbrush.

These are common courtesies. Granted, alcoholics aren't always most courteous people. But for crying out loud!!! If they choose to drink until they are going to pee everywhere, why should the rest of the family have to swim in their urine as a result? Wear a damned diaper!! That's just sick. They have to know it's totally inappropriate, or else they'd be peeing their pants at work, peeing at the salad bar at Wendy's, soaking the seats on the bus, or scrolling their name on a wall at the police station. Why don't they? Because they'd be arrested for LEWD behavior. Google, "public urination" sometime. It's illegal in many areas. So if it's illegal behavior in public, what makes it okay to pee all over the house when you have to live in it?

I couldn't take it. If my AH pees in the house, I would duct tape a diaper on his ass the second he was too drunk to care. Or I might just duct tape his plumbing all together. Actually, I would just leave. I couldn't tolerate that.

But you might want to ask him to get himself some diapers.

Taking5

I would buy some depends and give them to him.

denny57

Unless I was willing to put them on him, too, what would be the point?

baggervance

Resectingme
Its not like we know what we are peeing on that anit the deal.Everytime ive done it I thought I was in the toilet.I'm not say'n it's right but jez you think I wanted **** all over wife closet then pay dry cleaning bill.I may have hosed down a salad bar in my time dont remember some things I did.I dont do it sober.

respektingme

That's why I didn't suggest anyone bought them for the alcoholic, I would simply request that he bought some for himself and use them. I mean, come on, who is he fooling when he can't control his bladder? It's time to take a little responsibility. If he says no, well then, guess it's back to square one. But I'd at least ask.

respektingme

lol, about hosing down the salad bar. Perhaps if alcoholics with alcohol-related incontinance issues forced themselves to strap on a diaper before the took the first sip, some of the hose downs could be avoided.

Seems to me we're talking about two scenarios. One scenario is where the alcoholic can't seem to find the toilet, or the aim is off. The other scenario is where the alcoholic urinates without moving a muscle. The second scenario is where I'd suggest to my AH that he spare me the smell/mess/visual, and wear the diaper. The first could be a bigger problem. I could see an alcoholic wrestling to get the diaper off and not having much luck.

minnie

I should make a disclaimer here. I've peed the bed before and I hadn't even had any alcohol. I dreamt I was in the bathroom....... Difference is, I learned to always go to the loo before I go to bed and it has never happened again. *fingers crossed* If it happened again, then more drastic measures would be necessary!

I can't ever imagine getting an adult male to willingly wear a diaper, no matter how nicely I asked, unless the person recognised there was a medical need.

We all have choices, and those choices come with a consequence. In economics, there's a concept called opportunity cost. That relates to the cost of what we give up when we follow a particular course of action. I think pee anywhere outside of the toilet would be weighted quite heavily.

Barbara52

My Ah never peed on the furniture or bed but his personal habits had declined and he often just smelled since he wasn't bathing often enough or changing his underwear often enough, etc. I stopped doing his laundry. I would point out he smelled bad. He always just changed and said hie nose didn't work well.

Boy am I glad to get rid of that part of life!

GlassPrisoner

I just had a bad visual.

Just imagine a naked alkie, all except for an adult diaper. Sitting on the easy chair, beer in hand and smiling like he's got it all figured out. "Yup, used 'ta **** mahself, but now I wear the deepends !" *knocks beer back*

But for the Grace of God......

baggervance

LMAO Glass I think you got a future in advertising

Barbara52

LOL Thank you for that laugh!

respektingme

lol, some solutions work better than others. Obviously the diaper is a last resort. But it's better than living with furniture that continually gets hosed down.

Maybe most wouldn't wear the diaper. I think I would. I'm pretty sure that my AH feels shame when he drinks. Don't know if he regrets or even realizes the agony I've gone through as a result. But for 13 years I didn't go to Al-Anon either, so I was handling it all wrong. Same game, same players.

So I don't know if he'd wear one to spare me the urine infested home, or if he would just be so ashamed of peeing on the furniture. Me? I'd definitely wear one. It's not a big deal. Older people wear them under their clothes. They aren't proportionately thick from babies to adults. They aren't 4" thick.

Would sure as hell beat having a house that smelled all the time. I equate part of my peace to having a fairly serene home, at least when AH isn't drunk. The smell would be irritating, not to mention isolating. Who wants to invite others over when the couches are yellow?

hopeangel

ah has this problem too. i am on mattress #3 and couch #2. he has paid to replace both of them. this is what i did. when he peed the couch - the couch cushions went out in the yard in the rain -FOR HIM TO TAKE CARE OF! so, no couch to sit on until HE took care of it. when he peed the mattresses -they went in the trash. so, nothing to sleep on until HE took care of it. so, once it started to cost him serious money, he stopped sleeping in my nice new soo comfortable mattress and i have it all to myself when he drinks he has chosen (instead of taking care of the drinking problem) to buy himself a little PLASTIC lounge chair for the concrete unfinished basement (so he doesn't pee the floor anymore) which he sleeps on.

FormerDoormat

"This is one of those "you have to be living it, to understand" topics"

Actually, nobody HAS to live with it. Those of you who are living with couch, bed, salad bar wetters, etc., don't HAVE to live with it. It's a choice. So my question to you is, don't you think you deserve more?

respektingme

Ahhhh, isn't it grand to have the whole bed all to yourself? Nothing better than fresh, clean, cold sheets and the room to spread all around, get comfy, nobody pulling on the blankets. Plus, he's not peeing in your bed. Good for you.

LaTeeDa

Actually, there is something better. Sharing a bed with someone who is respectful, unselfish, loving, and smells good. You can't make someone be that way, but you can find someone like that. They are out there.

L