pineapple2007

I THINK I AM HAVING A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN.

I WANT TO SCREAM BUT I CANT BECAUSE PEOPLE ARE HOME. AND I ******* HATE THESE PEOPLE. MY MOM AND MY BROTHER. MY MOM IS LIKE LAUGHING BECAUSE I AM CRYING. WHAT THE ****

IT STARTED WHEN MY BRAIN WOULDNT SHUT THE **** UP. I KEEP WANTING TO CALL HIM. AND ALL I HEAR IN MY HEAD IS.. ITS OK CALL, HE MIGHT NOT MIND, IT MiGHT MAKE HIM HAPPY... WHO KNOWS HE MIGHT JSUT WANT TO HEAR FROM U....

OVER AND OVER AND OVER OVER AND OVER AND OVER OVER AND OVER AND OVER OVER AND OVER AND OVER OVER AND OVER AND OVER OVER AND OVER AND OVER OVER AND OVER AND OVER OVER AND OVER AND OVER OVER AND OVER AND OVER OVER AND OVER AND OVER OVER AND OVER AND OVER OVER AND OVER AND OVER OVER AND OVER AND OVER OVER AND OVER AND OVER OVER AND OVER AND OVER OVER AND OVER AND OVER OVER AND OVER AND OVER OVER AND OVER AND !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHY THE **** DO I WANT TO CALL HIM SO BAD... WHAT THE **** DOES HE HAVE FOR ME.... I JUST CANT MOVE ******* FORWARD........... **** THIS

WHY THE **** DO I HAVE TO BE SIT HERE AND ******* CRY

THEN I WANTED TO POST AND MY INTERNET WENT DOWN... HOLY **** I AM STEAMING AT THE EARS.... I AM SWEATING AND SHAKING... AND I JUST WANT TO SMASH MY HEAD ON A HARD TABLE CORNER ....

WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING TO ME...... I CANT STOP CRYING AND I WANT SO SCREAM BUT I CANT I HAVE TO HOLD IT ALL IN AND MY HEAD IS POUNDING........

EVERY SINGLE THING IS GOING AGANST ME.

gns

I am sorry pineaplle. I understand the obsession and rationalizing and feeling like everything sucks and wanting to die.

It is an awful feeling. I wish I could help you, but all I can say is it does get better!

What is up with the people laughing at you crying???

pineapple2007

Shes A **** Bitch. Shes The Devil. I Hate Her With All My Heart. My Mom.. Ya She Was Like Oh Oh Why Are U So Upset. U Look Like A Crazy Person!!!!!!!

She Can Rot In Hell

pineapple2007

I Feel Like Spliting My Head Open, Just Cracking It. Or Going Into A Coma.. That Sounds So Good Right Now.... I Just Want To Black Out... Go Totally Unconcious

pineapple2007

omg i just had my finger on the botton to call......... i am so scared i am going to make a big mistake tonight

someone talk me out of this holy smokes

GlassPrisoner

Wow, that's pretty much how I felt before I quit drinking.

((((pineapple))))

Rowan

Hey Pineapple,

You still around? Feel free to PM me if you need to vent - I can listen if you like.
Hang in there - it's going to be alright.

Rowan

BigGirlPanties

Obsessive thought definition:

Is when ONE thought crowds out all other thoughts.

Obsession is the master of this disease....cant control it, I got to asl for help..from God,,,Al-anon....and any one else who has been relieved of the obsession.

Pray..it helps me...you are not alone...Hugs!!

pineapple2007

pray? I feel like God left me and the devil is taking over. I cant believe this is happening because i carry my bible everywhere and i was reading it during my lunch hour every day.

its like 1 bad thing happend... lead to another and another and another.. even the smallest things...like i really wanted to post and let it all out... i wrote my post and then my **** INTERNET CUT OFF..... and that set me off even more. then i wrote it again and it cut off again. like ****...HONESTLY WHAT THE **** IS HAPPENING TO ME? CAN SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN?????????????
I AM JUST WAITING FOR THE NEXT THING TO MESS UP

respektingme

Seems like a good time for the serenity prayer.

BigGirlPanties

what does prayer have to do with the bible?

prodigal

Well, I'm no theologian, but prayer IS mentioned in the Bible. Specifically, The Lord's Prayer, which all are invited to say at meetings if they so desire ...

prodigal

pineapple, reading the Bible a great deal doesn't keep life from turning around and slapping us in the face, as you can see. This is life and sometimes it stinks big-time. I cannot tell you how to react to your own personal situation; that is your choice.

Do you have a friend you can call right now? I don't know if you feel it would help, but perhaps speaking with someone might do you some good. We're out here in cyberspace, so it's a little more challenging to communicate.

I'm going to try to understand. It sounds as if you are in a lot of pain. Things are in the toilet for you right now. Would it help any to know that we've all been there and come out the other side in one piece? If you really do think you are on the verge of some type of emotional collapse, I'd suggest reaching out to someone face-to-face.

pineapple2007

I pray with my bible. i read the word. that is what it has to do with it.

pineapple2007

everyone tells me "pray, go and pray...speak to god..."

i have already. and i am in this mess. Ive gone to far now, i am to angry and upset ive lost all patience in my body for anything or anyone

igetallnumb

hi... I have a mother like yours. I live in a home like yours. I dont drink, I use drugs but we are in the same boat here. i also had a person I was addicted to calling as well... when I read yours good lord it sound like times I went through.
You need to just tune all of the negative people in your home out way out and breathe. Put the phone away. Dont look at it. Just have it near you and just breathe.
Im here and I will listen. PM me whenever you need to talk. ((pineapple))

DesertEyes

Hey there Pineapple,

I'm sorry to hear you are going thru all this. The best thing to do is to get a hold of real people on the phone in your part of the world. In the phone you can find numbers for Al-Anon and AA. Give them a call and talk to a real person right now, that way you don't have to mess with the internet quiting on you or with having to wait for one of us web people to answer.

Mike

GlassPrisoner

Remember, to pray for His will only and the power to carry that out. If you do have a specific request, it should only be in the vain that it would help others.

OK, so that's the ideal. The reality is that I pray for myself, and I pray for specific things. And God, being the Great Guy that He is, ALWAYS see that the situation is remedied.

Is it exactly what I had in mind when I prayed ? Not usually. Is it in the time frame that I wanted it ? Almost never. Is it the right answer, and usually one that I wouldn't have even thought of ? Almost always.....

Pick-a-name

GP: perfectly said.

I don't need as many reminders as I used to,but I did print this out for those moment that I do. Thanks.

Done_With_It

I just posted this somewhere else yesterday because it helps me when I get obsessed with an obsessed thought..

Thought Stopping
Thought stopping
There are times when your mind races, and you're head just buzzes with loads of irrelevant things. And there are times when that one terminally embarrassing or utterly disastrous memory just stuffs itself into your consciousness, and drags you along with it to the bitter end. Or maybe your mind starts that 'what if I goof up?' game, and just doesn't want to let go.
Wouldn't it be nice if you could just turn off the thought?
Two tips for doing just that below:


The Stop Sign
This trick is easy; whenever you have a thought you can do without, visualise a big, red STOP sign. Let that fade away with the unwelcome thought, and move on with what you were doing.
Try it:Put your mouse on the lights, and whenever some thought occurs to you (like "what am I waiting for?"), click.


The example is quite complex, with an abrupt, vivid STOP, and a transition back to an 'OK' state. For a simpler, and often equally effective, variant, just use the STOP to halt a disruptive train of thought (often coupled with a sharp focussing action), and then focus on something more relevant.
Creative distraction
A term used slightly less generally by Syer and Connolly in sporting bodymind, the principle is relatively simple. Ever play that game that goes "DON'T think about Pink Elephants!"?
The way to win this game is to think about GREEN elephants. Or blue elephants. Or best of all, elephants you know and love and cherish...
In other words, just let yourself get interested in something else. "Something else" is typically:
A different thought For example, deliberately turn your mind to a time when you did well, and dwell on it.
Something task-related Very effective, as it combines thought with action. Just focus on what you're doing; check the feel of the bow, carefully examine your arrows for problems; on the line, focus on the feel, rhythm or balance in your shooting...
These quite simple tricks make a big difference; mostly, I think, because they all give you a positive way of controlling your thoughts.


When it works
Thought stopping works pretty well any time. It's most effective when the thought you turn to is vivid and reassuring. It helps (as ever) if you have already found practised and found an image or topic to turn to .
Thought stopping is a good short-term response to immediate distraction, so is effective during an event.

When it doesn't
Weak or irelevant replacement thoughts and images won't help much. Thinking about chocolate, for example, may well stop the original distraction, but it's harder to shoot when you're dribbling...
http://www.tenzone.u-net.com/psych/thtstp.htm#