Saying Good Bye,,,
I Finally Love My Life!!!
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: New England
Posts: 648
Hey CE,
Remember those claws? The more you pull away, the tighter they grasp, the deeper they cut.
I got promises on paper, too - they were all broken in a time span of 15 minutes.
Grrrr - it makes me angry to see these attempts to manipulate you.
Remember those claws? The more you pull away, the tighter they grasp, the deeper they cut.
I got promises on paper, too - they were all broken in a time span of 15 minutes.
Grrrr - it makes me angry to see these attempts to manipulate you.
Fool To Do Your Dirty Work
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Greenflower Street
Posts: 362
((((CE)))) Good job!!! I know it must have been sheer torture though!!!!
I hope I am able to be that strong when mine shows up one day - more than one of my friends is sure he will....only reason he hasn't already is b/c of the distance and him not having a license!
Thinking of you and so proud of you!!! Stay strong and get all of those feelings out!!!!!
I hope I am able to be that strong when mine shows up one day - more than one of my friends is sure he will....only reason he hasn't already is b/c of the distance and him not having a license!
Thinking of you and so proud of you!!! Stay strong and get all of those feelings out!!!!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2007
Location: FREEDOM
Posts: 665
Remember those claws? The more you pull away, the tighter they grasp, the deeper they cut
I know it must have been sheer torture though!!!
I've done EVERYTHING to keep myself distracted today. Repeated all my mantra in my head (Romancing the past, remembering the truth, cause, control, cure, 10 minute rule)
But i've been shown humbleness and humility
Dear Spirits, I have been humbled by my cockiness in thinking I was 'cured'. and it is with great humility that I ask for your guidance
Been thiking about this, him, ALL day. Obsession is alive and well in my codie brain. But the worst thing is feeling like i let someone down. Not my A per say, but someone/anyone. People pleasing tendancy because i feel so bad about MYSELF, I don't want anyone else to make me feel even worse. Thats why I'm a giver. Takes the oneness off of me, and buts it squarely on someone else. I can blame them if I feel bad, and never have to take a look at why I feel bad about myself. Ain't THAT a kick in the pants?!?!?! (chero doesn't like it when I say "bad words",,,lol)
Me thinks figuring out why I feel bad about myself if a "theme' for a few runs,,
Go figure
Peace
Member
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: phoenix arizona
Posts: 741
Originally Posted by CE Girl 
But the worst thing is feeling like i let someone down.
If I hadn't made my choice, I would really have failed myself.
Run a little extra for me, too.
Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: England
Posts: 3,410
Wow, that must have been tough. I got some of that after my ex moved out but I was still in the area. I am so grateful that he didn't drive all the way to where I live now and tdo the same - although I lived in fear of that for a long time. That is, until I worked out what I would do if it ever happened and then the fear went away.
You didn't let him down. He asked you for a Band Aid to fix a broken leg. Saying no was the only appropriate response.
You didn't let him down. He asked you for a Band Aid to fix a broken leg. Saying no was the only appropriate response.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: anomaly
Posts: 2,180
Hi CE..how are you doing ?
For me...it was like detoxing. The relarionship was very intoxicating.
My body tremble all over, I felt sick half of the time.
I was an emotional wreack. I would have to just step outside
or lock myself in the bathroom and allow myself to cried..during work.
Strange as it was..i had a puppy follow me home and stay with me
for a week. it was as if something knew I needed help and an angle
was there for me...in a form of a puppy.
i didn't judge myself much..the rule of thumb for me was..
not to beat up on myself no matter what. i had plenty of
break downs the tears were hot as if all the pioson were being
flush out of my mind..I notice after a good cry..I get clearer.
i still had a bit of a rough time with my HP becuase my head would
spin sometimes. I just focus on god or my HP or the light at the end of the tunnel
or the prize. i knew changes wasn't going to be easy.
It's like going against the grain of everything i was taught.
And the guilt trip was there..so i remember "screw guilt"
iT was five minutes at a time at first, but that what i did
to get me through. Gradually i started to be kinder and more gental
with myself. i started doing things for me..even at first I felt guilty
for doing it..but screw guilt.
This sentence help me when guilt creeps in..
"it not that I don't love her...It that i love her too much"
For me...it was like detoxing. The relarionship was very intoxicating.
My body tremble all over, I felt sick half of the time.
I was an emotional wreack. I would have to just step outside
or lock myself in the bathroom and allow myself to cried..during work.
Strange as it was..i had a puppy follow me home and stay with me
for a week. it was as if something knew I needed help and an angle
was there for me...in a form of a puppy.
i didn't judge myself much..the rule of thumb for me was..
not to beat up on myself no matter what. i had plenty of
break downs the tears were hot as if all the pioson were being
flush out of my mind..I notice after a good cry..I get clearer.
i still had a bit of a rough time with my HP becuase my head would
spin sometimes. I just focus on god or my HP or the light at the end of the tunnel
or the prize. i knew changes wasn't going to be easy.
It's like going against the grain of everything i was taught.
And the guilt trip was there..so i remember "screw guilt"
iT was five minutes at a time at first, but that what i did
to get me through. Gradually i started to be kinder and more gental
with myself. i started doing things for me..even at first I felt guilty
for doing it..but screw guilt.
This sentence help me when guilt creeps in..
"it not that I don't love her...It that i love her too much"
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2007
Location: FREEDOM
Posts: 665
I felt like I had failed.
Why?
Because I just want to be loved
Oh brother, that was a BIG one, almost blew my stride.
So, the spirits in their infininte wisdom said, "What about you is unlovable?" And I began to examine, what I had been TOLD all my life. "You are selfish", ummmmmm,,,I don't think so, "You are a liar", ,,,Really? Then how come I just blurt things out, being true to myself, always making it a priority to "do as I say" Even at my own expense. "You will never amount to anything",,,,I've built a good life, am independant and "comfortable". Good at what I do.
I KNOW all fo these things, but yet, when put into play, I always revert back to what I've been told. The bruises on my core.
That was enough. My eyes were swollen shut and I needed to pull myself together,,,
Damn, I'm not liking this,,but its like having a tooth pull, I NEED to do it,,
Wow, that must have been tough.
"it not that I don't love her...It that i love her too much"
How the hell can you LOVE someone too much?!?!? but if you say so,,,,
Hi CE..how are you doing ?
Peace
full of hope
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 1,170
There is nothing wrong with wanting to be loved. You deserve love...the right kind of love.
Your A couldn't give you what you needed. So why is it so hard to let go of someone who can't give us what we need?? Maybe because we give so much of ourselves to the people in our lives and when our needs are met we want to write it off as one of OUR character flaws.
He didn't love me enough to change so there must be something wrong and unlovable about me.
We equate doing with loving. If I say YES enough times and do enough for this person then I can feel loved--then they will love me.
I don't know if it's that we love too much but maybe that we forgot we are supposed to love ourselves first.
How can we expect someone to love us if we don't love us?
So, CE, girl, I'm getting myself totally OT here....I think you loved yourself enough to say NO (finally) and now you feel a little guilty about it. Your A has to love himself enough to say NO to alcohol. You can't do it for him just like he couldn't meet that need for love you have.
You are doing soooo great!!! Don't rush it! It may hurt like he** but it'll be worth it in the end!!
Put your hands back on the plow and set your face towards the goal, Sis!
Your A couldn't give you what you needed. So why is it so hard to let go of someone who can't give us what we need?? Maybe because we give so much of ourselves to the people in our lives and when our needs are met we want to write it off as one of OUR character flaws.
He didn't love me enough to change so there must be something wrong and unlovable about me.
We equate doing with loving. If I say YES enough times and do enough for this person then I can feel loved--then they will love me.
I don't know if it's that we love too much but maybe that we forgot we are supposed to love ourselves first.
How can we expect someone to love us if we don't love us?
So, CE, girl, I'm getting myself totally OT here....I think you loved yourself enough to say NO (finally) and now you feel a little guilty about it. Your A has to love himself enough to say NO to alcohol. You can't do it for him just like he couldn't meet that need for love you have.
You are doing soooo great!!! Don't rush it! It may hurt like he** but it'll be worth it in the end!!
Put your hands back on the plow and set your face towards the goal, Sis!
CindeRella is proof that a new pair of shoes can change your life!
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Spreading my wings
Posts: 7,163
Originally Posted by CE Girl
Because I just want to be loved
Oh brother, that was a BIG one, almost blew my stride.
So, the spirits in their infininte wisdom said, "What about you is unlovable?" And I began to examine, what I had been TOLD all my life. "You are selfish", ummmmmm,,,I don't think so, "You are a liar", ,,,Really? Then how come I just blurt things out, being true to myself, always making it a priority to "do as I say" Even at my own expense. "You will never amount to anything",,,,I've built a good life, am independant and "comfortable". Good at what I do.
I KNOW all fo these things, but yet, when put into play, I always revert back to what I've been told. The bruises on my core.
Ok...I want to first say this-you are loved by alot in this forum and I'm sure alot on the outside. It NORMAL to want to be loved! I know growing up-I never felt loved-but, I realize now I deserve it! And so do YOU!
This was a tuff one for me as the bruises on my core were very purple! It took a long time to peel those layers one by one and get down to where I knew I deserved to be loved-I knew that I built a good life for myself and it may not be up to the standards of my Mom or anyone else but it is was my journey and I did it on my own with no help. After my husband died (And I know you know this feeling CE) I felt as if my life was OVER that all the work I had done to begin the peeling of the layers were shot to h-ll in a hand basket! It was feeling that way that brought me back to where I had started and was as a child-Kind of the same feelings you mentioned!
It took going through some unhealthy relationships to see what I was doing to myself-(my steps backwards) I then continued so much time after many years thinking you know-I'm tired .....I need to start saying "NO" it had to be the hardest thing for me to learn! I learned it at work, home, friendships etc...but I had not learned it on my A! Because once again the work I was doing was on my core , my childhood not realizing in front of me what I was doing to myself-"WOW" shocker I'm not moving forward very quickly after being in counseling for 8 years! Yup you heard it 8 years! I was working on me alright............I was gaining strength, courage, acceptance, forgiveness but what I was not learning is to apply it ALL to ME yup ME the most important person in the world- those were my steps back-I learned how to handle my mother and accept her for who she is and that she did the best she could with the hand she was dealt and forgave her and alot of other people in my life-what I did not do was the biggest thing FORGIVE myself so that I could really move on and see that I deserve a healthy relationship with ALL in my life!
Getting involved with my A and feeling as your post the other day-exhausted, drained just physically a mess-and wondering why is this happening? I'm taking care of myself I go to counseling-but guess what?! I was sucked into the chaos because I was learning everything I needed I was just not applying it!
Honey....I have been where you are 100 times-as others have too-you are pushing forward which is a good thing-as it was mentioned on here by embrace "just a process. 2 steps forward, 5 steps back. then it's 5 steps forward and 2 steps back. then it just gets better and better. " this is so true! I know I was a big product of this and still in that process!
Please do not sell yourself short as you have gained so much over the past few months! This is a few steps back and "this too shall pass" and as you start having these steps back you will realize each time and it will be quicker at taking those steps forward!
((((Hugs))))) And by the way did I tell you? That we love you?! WE DO!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 792
Originally Posted by chero
Your A couldn't give you what you needed. So why is it so hard to let go of someone who can't give us what we need?? Maybe because we give so much of ourselves to the people in our lives and when our needs are met we want to write it off as one of OUR character flaws.
i even said to my A after we broke up, "just tell me what i did wrong. tell me what i can fix so whatever about me that made you stop loving me will be gone for the next person." duh, there is nothing wrong with me. nothing i think should be fixed or managed by someone else, anyway.
we all have these days CE, and you know it will get better. i'm thinking of you
Member
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: anomaly
Posts: 2,180
it's a sentence a got out of the AA BB about the codi/alki dance.
it jump out at me...
Well you know..it 's kind of like what chero say..we focus on someone else
instead of ourselves..well...that includes love too.
We get into a habit of doing it for so long. We forget to love ourselves.
And we feel like crap or bend over backwards waiting for the love to be
give in returned..Our love tank runs drie..we go into love stravation mode.
and we get that guilt trip going "being selffish" well the damn thing of
it is...we hear those message from alki...my alcoholic father say stuff
like that to me...but thing of it is...he just blurrs it out becuase he's
wacked out of his mind..So i go crazy trying to seek approvel from him
and I always feel guilty..becuase nothing i do is ever good enough...becuase
I'm waiting for him to love me back...but it dosn't happen. my GF in her
drunkness would say al kinds of crazy things...so i take those messeages
as real...but she's just blurring it out...She's numb..so how can she love
me ?
After having some alone time..after things setting down just a bit
something clicks in my head...."cut out the middle man".
I'm capiable of love..I've been loving people who dosn't love back...
so i might as will start loving myself...it feels wierd at first.
Well just like forgiveness..we were taught over and over again
to forgive other people..but how often would anyone say to forgive
ourselves ??? So its harder for us to forgive ourselve becuase we havn't
been practice it. We feel guilty for all the stuff we might have done.
well..look at all the stuff other people have done to us..we forgive them.
It's not that we're incapible of forgiving..we just have to apply it for
ourselves.
it's like a process for me..becuase the message i got at first
was to focus on myself...so that was my foundation..
but i had so much guilt and shame..I felt guilty for doing it..
so I focus on god instead..make sense ??? So my HP gave me
love...unconditional love..my love tank begin to fill up again.
The puppy that stayed with me..gave me more love than my GF
as long as my focus stayed off of my GF..becuase everytime
I thought about my GF I went out of my freaken mind.
At the stage she was in..she was using up my love tank.
being emotionally attached I felt guilty when she wines...
I forget that she would trun at a drop of a hat..so whenever
she loose all of her money or whatever...she's empty..
there i go again..trying to fix her.
Pretty much that same thing your hubby is doing..trying to get
love from you..but you're running low on your love tank and it's
driving you crazy...belive me my gf did the samething...came to my
work time after time crying...
it is why...my boundary is...my GF has to be more than just clean and sober.
She has to be working a program...wheather she learns how to love
herself or get it from her HP or god. i love her..but i can't love her
24/7 and life ain't rossie all the time..I need some one to love me
back every so often and not be taking it from me all the time.
I needed to learn how to love myself..so I won't bend over backwards
and try to seek it from others..so it dosn't becomes a need...need.
A relationship now become a chioce.
God or my HP gives me what I need...make sense ?
it jump out at me...
Well you know..it 's kind of like what chero say..we focus on someone else
instead of ourselves..well...that includes love too.
We get into a habit of doing it for so long. We forget to love ourselves.
And we feel like crap or bend over backwards waiting for the love to be
give in returned..Our love tank runs drie..we go into love stravation mode.
and we get that guilt trip going "being selffish" well the damn thing of
it is...we hear those message from alki...my alcoholic father say stuff
like that to me...but thing of it is...he just blurrs it out becuase he's
wacked out of his mind..So i go crazy trying to seek approvel from him
and I always feel guilty..becuase nothing i do is ever good enough...becuase
I'm waiting for him to love me back...but it dosn't happen. my GF in her
drunkness would say al kinds of crazy things...so i take those messeages
as real...but she's just blurring it out...She's numb..so how can she love
me ?
After having some alone time..after things setting down just a bit
something clicks in my head...."cut out the middle man".
I'm capiable of love..I've been loving people who dosn't love back...
so i might as will start loving myself...it feels wierd at first.
Well just like forgiveness..we were taught over and over again
to forgive other people..but how often would anyone say to forgive
ourselves ??? So its harder for us to forgive ourselve becuase we havn't
been practice it. We feel guilty for all the stuff we might have done.
well..look at all the stuff other people have done to us..we forgive them.
It's not that we're incapible of forgiving..we just have to apply it for
ourselves.
it's like a process for me..becuase the message i got at first
was to focus on myself...so that was my foundation..
but i had so much guilt and shame..I felt guilty for doing it..
so I focus on god instead..make sense ??? So my HP gave me
love...unconditional love..my love tank begin to fill up again.
The puppy that stayed with me..gave me more love than my GF
as long as my focus stayed off of my GF..becuase everytime
I thought about my GF I went out of my freaken mind.
At the stage she was in..she was using up my love tank.
being emotionally attached I felt guilty when she wines...
I forget that she would trun at a drop of a hat..so whenever
she loose all of her money or whatever...she's empty..
there i go again..trying to fix her.
Pretty much that same thing your hubby is doing..trying to get
love from you..but you're running low on your love tank and it's
driving you crazy...belive me my gf did the samething...came to my
work time after time crying...
it is why...my boundary is...my GF has to be more than just clean and sober.
She has to be working a program...wheather she learns how to love
herself or get it from her HP or god. i love her..but i can't love her
24/7 and life ain't rossie all the time..I need some one to love me
back every so often and not be taking it from me all the time.
I needed to learn how to love myself..so I won't bend over backwards
and try to seek it from others..so it dosn't becomes a need...need.
A relationship now become a chioce.
God or my HP gives me what I need...make sense ?
Last edited by SaTiT; 06-14-2007 at 09:45 AM.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: concord, nc
Posts: 304
Chero took the words out of my mouth--we all must learn to love ourselves first. I so wanted my husband to love me and our girls enough to stop all the madness. I think that I am finally seeing that he couldn't do that because obviously he didn't love himself enough. It just makes sense that a person cannot love others if he/she doesn't love himself/herself. With that said, be kind to YOU, love YOU, take care of YOU and the rest will fall into place.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2007
Location: FREEDOM
Posts: 665
I'm overwhelmed and choked up by all your responses. Who says you can't LOVE in the one dimensional. I am grateful and humbled,,,,,
I took some time to "sort" today. I will admit, I was a mess. Came on so sudden too. Ever here of acts of heroism where brute strength was required (think the 120 lb woman lifting the car of her man cause the jack gave way) and a force greater than yourself takes over? It really isn't until afterwards, you realize what the hell ya did. The enormity of the situation brings you to your knees.
I had to recuperate.
I gave it up to the spirits.
If I'm gonna do the two step (one step forward, five steps back) then their leading!!!! I don't dance, I'm a hippie, we BOUNCE.
Learning to love AND forgive ME is stressing me the hell out Frankly, I don't know where to start. I know I made great strides, forming boundry's, detaching, and thinking about what's good for ME. But I got those little receptors in my brain, telling me, hell even showing me through visualizations the fantasy world of life with my man,,I know GAG me huh?!?!?
The spirits stepped in
Play the tape to the end
Instantly the fantasy turned to a nightmare
I've been EXTREMLY depressed today. Not like me, I find life in the gifts we are given. Wanting to cry most of the day. Tough injun, we don't cry. Put on the stoic lets get the job done hat and plowed through my day. When thoughts went to him, I thought I would go insane
The spirits stepped in,,,,
I loved myself enough to close the door to my office and cry
I came home and went for a run. And the 'theme' just came to me. Why do you feel so bad about YOURSELF? Because I can't always "fix" things, I can't always "accept" things, I can't always be the strong one, I can't love enough for someone to do something I think they should do for themselves, I can't please, satisfy, bring joy to, support, counsel all of the people all of the time,,I guess I saved the HARDEST for last,,,and we all know why,,,
The Spirits stepped in,,,
And their teaching me to forgive myself for not being perfect.
I love all of you,,thank you for not expecting me to be perfect
Peace
I took some time to "sort" today. I will admit, I was a mess. Came on so sudden too. Ever here of acts of heroism where brute strength was required (think the 120 lb woman lifting the car of her man cause the jack gave way) and a force greater than yourself takes over? It really isn't until afterwards, you realize what the hell ya did. The enormity of the situation brings you to your knees.
I had to recuperate.
I gave it up to the spirits.
If I'm gonna do the two step (one step forward, five steps back) then their leading!!!! I don't dance, I'm a hippie, we BOUNCE.
Learning to love AND forgive ME is stressing me the hell out
Frankly, I don't know where to start. I know I made great strides, forming boundry's, detaching, and thinking about what's good for ME. But I got those little receptors in my brain, telling me, hell even showing me through visualizations the fantasy world of life with my man,,I know GAG me huh?!?!?The spirits stepped in
Play the tape to the end
Instantly the fantasy turned to a nightmare
I've been EXTREMLY depressed today. Not like me, I find life in the gifts we are given. Wanting to cry most of the day. Tough injun, we don't cry. Put on the stoic lets get the job done hat and plowed through my day. When thoughts went to him, I thought I would go insane
The spirits stepped in,,,,
I loved myself enough to close the door to my office and cry
I came home and went for a run. And the 'theme' just came to me. Why do you feel so bad about YOURSELF? Because I can't always "fix" things, I can't always "accept" things, I can't always be the strong one, I can't love enough for someone to do something I think they should do for themselves, I can't please, satisfy, bring joy to, support, counsel all of the people all of the time,,I guess I saved the HARDEST for last,,,and we all know why,,,
The Spirits stepped in,,,
And their teaching me to forgive myself for not being perfect.
I love all of you,,thank you for not expecting me to be perfect
Peace
Member
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 3,812
Heyyy sweetie.... its ok... you said
Hate to tell ya but this is not the hardest one..... *ducks*
There is still more to come.... not saying this is not hard... but I happen to believe the hardest one is learning to love yourself (really love yourself)... that comes after forgiving yourself. You might want to buy somemore running shoes.
I guess I saved the HARDEST for last,,,and we all know why,,,
There is still more to come.... not saying this is not hard... but I happen to believe the hardest one is learning to love yourself (really love yourself)... that comes after forgiving yourself. You might want to buy somemore running shoes.
CindeRella is proof that a new pair of shoes can change your life!
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Spreading my wings
Posts: 7,163
Originally Posted by Cynay
Heyyy sweetie.... its ok... you said
Hate to tell ya but this is not the hardest one..... *ducks*
There is still more to come.... not saying this is not hard... but I happen to believe the hardest one is learning to love yourself (really love yourself)... that comes after forgiving yourself. You might want to buy somemore running shoes.
Hate to tell ya but this is not the hardest one..... *ducks*
There is still more to come.... not saying this is not hard... but I happen to believe the hardest one is learning to love yourself (really love yourself)... that comes after forgiving yourself. You might want to buy somemore running shoes.
Yup I have to agree with Cynay on this one! I have a pair of nike running shoes and boy do they get worked out at the gym! Before the disc hernations I ran in them!
I guess I should "Duck" too! it is a long road CE and there are bumps which is ok! You are doing fine....forgiving yourself is not easy but I agree the "loving yourself" was a very hard one for me! Of course I kept putting it off for the past 8 years of counseling! I knew what I had to do but was just not ready-and wow the steps back that I had and still have at times! But I do know that I love myself enough today to know what I want and what I deserve in life!
CE honey it is ok to cry it is what we do in recovery! You are human!! It is allowed-you are doing well-it appears that you know which direction to head in....just put those shoes on and keep running! We are all at different paces and it is OK!
(((((CE))))))
May it be
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: A new day. Today I just see bright colors, in the small world of my dreams.
Posts: 384
I will not forget the lesson I was taught. That no matter how much we love, sometimes it simply isn't enough. Thats does not make us "unlovable" but instead prepares us for the real thing. The one we find within ourselves. We come into this world with nothing but love, its up to US to realize the gift and leave the same way, content with the gifts we've been given.
Keep the memories. Accept they are part of who you are. The lessons learned.
I have repeated in myself the phrase - I have learned my lesson, and I have learned it well.
But really it does come to the peace and love we have for ourselves and keep the memories.
Unfortunately, we can't walk 2 roads, either you stay where you are at, or you let him come back in... I really think, it's better, you go on your own, but that is only my thoughts. Maybe... is a big word... anyways, say, that someday he does get on track, with someone else. But from what I have seen, that is the catch, with someone else... Someone else that set the boundaries from the get go... sadly...
I haven't (unfortunately, been with my soul mate) might have met & known him for a short time, but he belonged somewhere else. Like the song "on the one hand.... but on the other hand..." is someone who found him first - just the way it goes...
I sometimes look at what could be a good relationship, while shopping or drinking coffee, etc and observing couples. What I see, might be that elusive bond, and I think I am no different than that woman. I am as good as her, but just didn't have that person, walk into my life. Now I am content with my life as it is, ever grateful for what I have, Peace Content with the gifts... given
Keep the memories. Accept they are part of who you are. The lessons learned.
I have repeated in myself the phrase - I have learned my lesson, and I have learned it well.
But really it does come to the peace and love we have for ourselves and keep the memories.
Unfortunately, we can't walk 2 roads, either you stay where you are at, or you let him come back in... I really think, it's better, you go on your own, but that is only my thoughts. Maybe... is a big word... anyways, say, that someday he does get on track, with someone else. But from what I have seen, that is the catch, with someone else... Someone else that set the boundaries from the get go... sadly...
I haven't (unfortunately, been with my soul mate) might have met & known him for a short time, but he belonged somewhere else. Like the song "on the one hand.... but on the other hand..." is someone who found him first - just the way it goes...
I sometimes look at what could be a good relationship, while shopping or drinking coffee, etc and observing couples. What I see, might be that elusive bond, and I think I am no different than that woman. I am as good as her, but just didn't have that person, walk into my life. Now I am content with my life as it is, ever grateful for what I have, Peace Content with the gifts... given
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