Grateful to Find This Site
Member
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 2,333
[QUOTE=ASpouse]Oh my God, I am not bitter at all! I have 3 wonderful children, one died from brain cancer at age 3, my husband is a recovering alcoholic of 3 years and having a sober spouse makes my heart sing, I have a great job, a decent house, I breed the occasional litter of Belgian Sheepdogs, I compete with my dogs in agility, I am involved in my children's activities. I am going to meet a special person from these very boards, another Jersey girl in about a month, so MA .... bitter I am not, very far from it for you see, I've been where you are, in MAJOR DENIAL, but now that the sun is shining, I have food on my table and love in my heart, I am thankful for all the good stuff I do have.
Has my life been hard? I suppose it's all a matter of how you look at it, but certainly no more difficult than any of the other folks here or any of my friends lives.
I think you for forgot two very important words in this sentence and those two words are "until now".[/QUOTE]
Ditto on that last sentence.
Has my life been hard? I suppose it's all a matter of how you look at it, but certainly no more difficult than any of the other folks here or any of my friends lives.
I think you for forgot two very important words in this sentence and those two words are "until now".[/QUOTE]
Ditto on that last sentence.
)
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Sussex, NJ
Posts: 1,331
Originally Posted by prodigal
Keep tellin' it like it is, Judy. Those who can't take what you dish out - that's THEIR problem not your's! I'm darn glad you're on this board! Love ya!
As with everyone, I wish her the best in whatever she chooses to do. Personally I think if she wants to learn about the progression the disease, talking to us is only giving her one side, our side. She should talk to some AA's, go to open AA meetings, listen to the speakers. Those are the folks who know, we only know how to take care of ourselves, or at least hopefully.
As many of us know, it's a long road, some of us are still on that journey, some of us are not.
I know that I could not advise anyone on how to live with an alcoholic and I certainly couldn't tell someone the progression of the disease so they could be sure to behave accordingly. Living with an alcoholic was not something I was successful at nor was I proud of it. Surviving it and learning to care about myself as part of the aftermath I am proud of.
It's not a matter of telling it like it is, like me, like you, like most of us, it's something we need to suffer through, no matter how much people tell us differently, we need to see it for ourselves. We all know that social drinking is not an option, we are a tad numb to hearing "I can stop", "if we have children I'll stop" "If you really want me to I'll cut down" .... gosh we've heard it all haven't we? We've heard all the nonsense about rehab's, this time it will work. The bottom line is nothing works unless the A wants and believes that drinking is a problem. It seems a little ludicrous to us "old timers" that someone can say in one breath "I know I have a problem with drinking" and then say "but I won't stop, or like to drink, or doesn't want help". Sometimes, as in MA's case, she seems to accept that. If she is willing to accept that, then there is nothing we can say or do to make her change her mind. We need to ACCEPT that this is the way she wants it. We can all speak our words of wisdom of MA, but my feeling at this point MA won't listen to us. She needs to find her own way, whatever way that will be. I will admit that knowing someone for 6 months is a little bit short of time to know someone to marry them, but stranger things have happened. Being married only 2 short months and he needs his "alone time" is frightening at least to me, especially if he is an alcoholic. But I don't live with him, I'm not married to him. Me, when I was 26 and living with someone, well all I can say is sex was everyday more than once or twice. (Sadly, not like that now! LOL) Cuddling was fine but .........
I can't offer any words to help her on what the progression of the disease is and what to look for. I'm too busy being me and keeping me happy. Oddly, or maybe not so oddly, when I'm happy everything else is happy too.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
