hopealwayz

I had never done meth before until tonight. I really screwed up.

I have to start all over again.
I really need to quit beating myself up over this.

I know I can get and stay sober.

I'm getting ready to get involved with Celebrate Recovery at a local church. I just know in my heart that it can help me.

I'll get better one day.

shockozulu

From what I've read in your thread, I think Celebrate Recovery may be the program for you.

I'm so sorry to hear that you got in trouble with the meth, but know that now you are in recovery...and soon your days will be better than using.

Sending you hugs.

hopealwayz

Thanks Alera!

I know I ended up using because of the (almost) hopeless situation that I'm in. My family is at war so I don't have their support and my friends have turned on me. I felt alone and then the fear of having to give school up pushed me into a bad place.

I am going to get well . I know and believe that with all of my heart.
I just need to learn to love myself and stop beating myself up for the past.

hopealwayz

Just because I fell down doesn't mean that I am going to stay down. I'm getting right back up. I know what I have to do and I am going to do it. I'm going to find and see what was lacking before and I'm going to do that now. I'm determined to get well. I'm not going to let addiction beat me. I'm getting my life back.

hopealwayz

Cocaine is my DOC but it was meth that I used when I relapsed (only one time). Will I have the withdrawals for meth since I wasn't hooked on it and that was the first time I used it?

Christian

short answer, yes.

please stay away from that stuff

hopealwayz

I'm staying away from all drugs and alcohol. I want a completely sober and clean life.

hopealwayz

What are meth withdrawals like?

roadie58

Omigawd!?!?

Why oh why on Earth would you want to start up with a new drug after having other troubles?? I had a friend last year wanted me to try 'hard' coke (smoking crack) after my endless binges on 'soft' coke (snorting). It SCARED ME TO DEATH because I knew of the nearly instant hook that taking the drug like that would do to me.

There is now way I would ever try meth. I look at that drug this way. Take a bunch of ingredients, all of which say DON"T PUT THIS IN YOUR BODY, then mix them up in a not-so-critical way, in a not-so-sterile environment. Then tell me to actually sniff, smoke, or shoot that junk into my body. NO WAY.

Cheryl. Please stop this madness at once and come back to us.

You're better than meth.

hopealwayz

Roadie, don't worry, I'm back. I am not going down that road of meth.
I am getting back into my recovery boat and I'm just rowing in
the direction that I'm supposed to be going. I don't even want to
use. Everything was going good in my life and I forgot what the pain
felt like. This is like one of those tests where you have to keep taking
it until you pass. Well, I want to pass this time. I sure don't want to
keep taking the emotional and physical beatings.

I'm glad that you wrote.

hopealwayz

Sorry that I screwed up everyone...
I hated to come back and say that.

I'm just sorry for everything.... That is me getting knocked in the head.

I know I made poor choices but that is the past now .. I just have to move forward and not kick myself in the ground for making a bad decision.

roadie58

Sorry to sound so harsh in my last post to ya. You can put the BAT down now and stop beating yourself over the head, looks like you've done enough of that.

You're right, just get back on the wagon, in the boat, on the bus, whatever means of transport you care to and GET THE HECK OUT OF THERE!

Is your 'uncle' guy causing troubles again? Housing going okay? Just think it through and try to get to the bottom of whatever caused the last lapse in judgement. It was always important for me to get some good learning from a bad experience like you just had.

Not important that you post about it, unless you want to, but I think it's very important to discover what went wrong, so you can head trouble off at the pass NEXT time. And there will be a next time. This disease is very strong.

Peace be wit ya!

hopealwayz

I know what went wrong last time. I felt like everyone in my life deserted me and I did reach out many times before I picked up and used, but everyone turned their backs on me and yelled at me, making me feel bad. It seemed like everything in my life was falling apart so I didn't think using would even matter since everything else was screwed up already. I was wrong. At least when I'm sober, the bad days can turn into good days. As long as alcohol/drugs are involved bad days just stay bad days..or more like a waking nightmare.

I'm back Roadie!!! I'm holding on tight!!

My mom yelled at my uncle good when they found out that he had been trying to get me to use. He did apologize to me and said he felt bad that he helped cause that much trouble in my life.

My uncle is going through morphine withdrawals right now and he is SICK. He has a morphine pump in his stomach and it ran out of morphine..and he can't get a doctor's appt... I do feel kinda bad for the guy now.. you can look at him and you know he is very sick from withdrawals.

Thanks for communicating with me Roadie!! I appreciate it.

Done_With_It

Sheryl,

I won't even ask you what you were thinking, because I don't know what I was thinking half of the time I did/do things. I am sad for you that you tried the stuff as I am for anyone that tries it. It's some nasty stuff, that feels so good at first. I don't know if you know or not but they call meth-the devils drug, because of how bad it is.

You asked if there was a withdrawel period, I'd say for most, not on the body but on the mind.

I read over all your posts several times, Although they sounded great and positive, they scared me because you were SOO positive and that is exactly what meth does to you.
That's why it's different, that's why it is so damn great. I almost felt as I was reading your posts that I could feel your come-down in each post.

I worry about the next 24 hours with you, because that high wonderful (but awful) feeling you have gets bad, the meth took your serotin to an extremely high level, and now it's going to take it to a low level. That may leave you feeling like, You need more. You may tell yourself you need more to do your recovery. lol, it sounds crazy but it wouldnt' surprise me.

Everyone is different, so this may not be true, I mean nothing that i said could be true, I'm just going with my gut, So if it doesn't ring true for you, of course don't take it on.
Meth leaves you feeling very vulnerable, and what people say to you are deeper.
The words either leave you feeling very good or very very bad. When they leave you feeling bad your brain may tell you to do another line, just to feel good again, then you'll stop.

Sheryl, Meth IS NOT COCAINE............ IT'S SO MUCH WORSE FOR MANY MANY PEOPLE.......

The roller coaster ride you have been on for so long with coke, DON'T THINK FOR A SECOND that you can do the same with meth. It's next to impossible........
Sweetie it REALLY REALLY IS............

I'm REALLY REALLY worried about you right now. If you pick up or do another line of meth Sheryl, I believe you are going to go down into a world of hell. Not right away, but you will.
It's so different than coke or anything that most people have ever tried. They say it's worse to get off than heroin. Not to mention the holes meth puts in your brain.

Part of me wants to kick your a*s, and the other part wants to give you a huge hug and do this part for you........

You do what you have to do to NOT do anymore of this crap, esp. within the next 72 hours. If you have to post on here or be here the whole time, do it.

Go the Nar-Anon board, if you don't go there much. Reading some of the mom's post will really help you not want to do this stuff. You'll see how far some of their loved ones sunk. It takes away that feeling, "Of that won't happen to me".......
And nothing makes me more angry when I keep see people call people
"Meth Heads", if that makes you as angry as it makes me, lol, it'll stop you from doing another line. Just to prove them wrong.......... ;-)

Keep posting sweetie, and stay away from this stuff. If not you'll be smoking it or shooting it within the next 2 years, the life you live now, will be a distant memory.

For now, be gentle with yourself, Naps, and keep posting. Oh and eat and drink water also.

hopealwayz

Done,

Thanks for your post to me. Those words offered a lot of insight. I don't want to do it because I could honestly see myself getting out of control with that. There is a part of my brain that is wanting some more right now but I'm not going get any. I just need lots of support especially over the next few days.

My cravings during withdrawals are absolutely horrible so I know this is going to be rough. There is always that part of me that says "the drug will make this go away" but it is a never ending cycle.

I don't want to go down the meth road. I've already been down it with coke and I can't do that with something else.
I have to stop it before it even starts. ***NOW***

Done_With_It

Quote:

Done,

Thanks for your post to me. Those words offered a lot of insight. I don't want to do it because I could honestly see myself getting out of control with that. There is a part of my brain that is wanting some more right now but I'm not going get any. I just need lots of support especially over the next few days.

My cravings during withdrawals are absolutely horrible so I know this is going to be rough. There is always that part of me that says "the drug will make this go away" but it is a never ending cycle.

I don't want to go down the meth road. I've already been down it with coke and I can't do that with something else.
I have to stop it before it even starts. ***NOW***

(((Hope)))

That part of your brain that wants more, is going to get worse over the next few hours. I don't want to scare you, just forewarn you.
This stuff is so hard on you mentally. Your RIGHT it will tell you it will make everything go away. It's the worst kind of mental thing I've ever gone through, my e.d. a close run, but a different way.

Fight the urge, again I want to reitterate to you that, this IS NOT LIKE COKE........
You WILL lose all control over it and yourself if you get even one more bag. Coke did nothing for me, and when I randomally accidenatlly tried Crack, it also did nothing for me.

This stuff....... It takes you on in a whole new way.
Keep coming here and posting everytime you get an urge. That is what I did and still do.

ughh, I hate that you are going through all this, cause I know the battle that goes on in the head.

If it helps you to not want to do it, they just found a bunch of puppies that people were "Transportting their drugs in".....

Some of the puppies died after they did the surgery to remove the drugs from them. Some lived.
The whole thing of that right there, freaked me out. Puppies dying so people can seel drugs, puppies dying so people can have their drugs.

I would never buy from a pet store cuz of the puppy mills, I don't think I could honestly ever buy drugs again after reading that article.

It disgusts me to no end.

I don't say that to make you feel bad, just to make you think hard, and keep on thinking the next few days.....

Please keep on posting, and stay away from the meth.

:-)

DWI

hopealwayz

I'm going to stay away from the meth and the coke..and everything else.

I can tell that meth is a whole different ballgame.. more powerful than coke. It is almost as if it instantly grabs on to you. I am going to fight it off though.

Done_With_It

It does, if you get a chance read some of Big Sis's posts and Velvet's. They both have daughters who went this route. One is off of it, but the other isn't.

I wish someone had told me how powerful this stuff is, or what I was getting myself into.

Done_With_It

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...elp-78495.html

(something I wrote about meth)

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ase-84416.html

( a good thread to read)

hopealwayz

http://www.tweaker.org/oldsite/tweak...cyberwall.html

This is what I'm currently reading.