hopealwayz

Done_With_It

I think I forgot how much my muscles twitched. On the rare occasion that I slept, I was always woken up by a twitch.
It will take a few days I think, maybe up to a month, but I doubt that long, for me it did, but I used a lot longer than you.

That craving is the worst right now. I'd say in a week you'll start seeing it subside. But give it at least a week. It won't be this strong for the whole week though. Today and maybe tomorow will be the toughest. Three days up to a week after using are typical to stop seeing those crazy things that happen in my experience. That's the toughest part.

This time when i detoxed I did the lemonade diet to get that stuff out of my body. That helps a lot, it draws the impurities out of you body and much quicker.

I'm sure you've learned a lot about what is in meth now, stuff like 'battery acid', 'rat poison', 'comet-like stuff', etc.....
It's just insane. I don't know how we are even able to take the stuff, let alone how it makes you feel so great. It boggles my mind.

Sleep as much as you can. That will help with any of those things going on. It will help to heal what isn't working right.

P.S. My pm box is clear now, Sorry.
(that thing has a mind of it's own)

notready

I'll look before I send to make sure it isn't a duplicate, but this story has given me the backbone to never do meth again. The three times I tried didn't take me away from DOC crack. Plan on making my first NA meeting tonight, hope it's a positive expierience.

http://www.crystalrecovery.com/Pages/MethTookItAll.html

Done_With_It

CrystalRecovery is also a good sight. It sure does give you some good insight.

nutz

I passed all drug test after loosing that job. I got more jobs.
Go thur all the process of being screen from hunders of peaple.
I couldn't hold on to employment. The rate of which , I walked
off a job became more frequent. The job I got paid less and less.

One of the facts that I had to face was, I was unemployable.
It didn't make any sense for me to continue and just build up
a bad record of my employment history. Plus i was in a state
of rage. I used to constantly bite down on my jaw all the time.

It was a hard decision for me to make. For the first time in
my life I had to put recovery first. We hear about it, but
to actaully do it..Will that dosn't jive with my parents or society.
RECOVERY FIRST is my foundation.
In the long run , I'm better off. For some reason, for the first
time in my life, I had to do this onething FOR ME. Not what is
right or wrong for others, but what's right for me.
It was a small step, but at that time it was a big issue i had
to faced.

Having all doors slam in my face from my actions. I no longer
had insurance or finance. The recovery center was full.
I slept in my car, then graduated to the side of my parent's
house, then graduated to the din's floor, then graduated
to the couch. I never made to my old room.lmaf
All that didn't matter. My goal was to make 90 meetings in
90 days. Then it was the 30 day's chip, then a 90 day's chip.
I kept going back to meetings no matter what.
I was still new...You know, i thought AA/NA was going to
teach me how to used drugs without consequences.lmaf

I needed it. I needed to find out what hell was really wrong
with me. The drugs and alcohol abuse are just symtoms of my
deeper problems. Everything was messed up inside and outside
of me. Lots and lots of sorting, healing needed to be done.
For some reason I was lead to nature. It's a retreat that i needed
and it was also the begining of my spiritual journey or a journey
of hope.lol

It's been a while, so I can't recall all the aches and pain
from my body. I felt weak all the time and the combination
of the mental obsession. My temper was extreemly short
at first. I 'd fly off the handle for every little thing.

I was also leaded to excercize for some reason.
I was suck up. And the only way to build up my muscle
tissues was to do simple excercizes. I started off just taking
walks, then walk and jog, then jog a couple of miles.
Then i started lifing wieghts again. I started getting more
energy again after a month of slumbering to catch up on my sleep.lol
Excercizing also helped or played a big role. Plus it also helps
to reduce my depression and stress. Sweating out the poison
from my body as will.

Regular eating habits became a challege, but it gose hand
in hand with excercizes.
Mind, body and soul.

Oh yeah

My charecter trait or one of the defects of charecter. I deny or denial.
When I get angery/stress...I don't eat. I refuse help...etc.
I basicailly deny my feeelings. Some peaple are on the other end
of the spectrum. They stuff their feelings....so they eat.
The principle is still the same however, both don't process feelings
or life. Using drugs..will that's the short cut or instant way of being
NUMB. A pill for every ill and I was sick a lot.lol

Cindi R

Had forgotton about the twitching...
esp when trying to sleep.
Ex hubby used to do it real bad. I'd be laying there trying to sleep & he would be "sleeping"...but twitching/jerking really bad.

Done_With_It

It's crazy how we forget about the bad stuff and tend to remember the good part of how it made us feel, eh.....

Cindi R

Oh...I don't even try to glamorize and remember the great stuff anymore Done...
I remember the worst of the worst, staying up for 6 days and waiting for more...being too spun to sleep. Not being able to sleep when you wanted to. Having a hundred ideas going on in your head of projects or "great ideas" spinning around...but never actually acomplishing anything.
Trying to clean the kitchen, having a hundred different ideas of how to rearrange things before walking from one end of the counter to the other...
Being thirsty, making a pot of coffee...
discovering 6 hours later that I still hadn't poured myself that cup of coffee yet...

Done_With_It

Yea, I know exactly what you mean up there. But I'm not to the point of not remembering the good things. I WISH I didn't, I don't do it on purpose, but I do.
I miss not ever having to eat, sleep, etc. I hate stuff like that, I don't think I try and glamorize it, the fact for me is, I just liked to not sleep and not eat. Always have.

hopealwayz

This is a rough night for me. I am having cravings for coke-- not meth but cocaine.
I was craving meth earlier but that went away.. I guess all of these cravings will be less intense after I detox.

Thank you all so much for helping to keep me from falling farther down in the hole of meth. You have all helped to save me from some horrible pain that could have came upon me.

shockozulu

Cheryl, when I got cravings I did a ABC on dealing with urges. It gave me a lot of tools to 'stop them in the bud'. They didn't go away but I was able to control what they did to me, instead of them controlling what I did.
http://www.smartrecovery.org/resources/toolchest.htm
Its the first one at the top.

hopealwayz

I hate to think of what I did to myself when I screwed up and used meth. Earlier to day, I swear I heard someone call my name and I looked around and did not see anyone. Meth made me feel like I was going crazy. All day, I have been twitching, seeing "flashes", irregular heartbeat, and just an overall "feeling of doom" of my health.

Even right now, I'm still twitching.

hopealwayz

Thanks Alera, I'm going to check that out.

velvet

You need to stay strong, Hope...just remember my daughter when those urges come.
Roadie...getting out of town is not the answer. She does have a dad (if you can call him that) in Seattle, but he drinks a pint for breakfast...he visited her a year ago and did the meth with her. Not an option. I have a freshman in high school and one headed there next yr. so I can't uproot them and don't have the finances to do it anyway. I'm the sole bread winner...have a 22 yr. old son, who has kicked the meth, but craves it and doesn't seem to hold a job. Child support, you say....ha...first ex owes me 59,000.00 and second ex hasn't paid for the past year. I sure can pick em'. Anyway...part of me would love to kick all of your a**es, but then I also know how sometimes you just can't put it down. My daughter isn't ready, even though, I know, that she sees what a mess her life has become...on a good day, when she's somewhat sane.

Done_With_It

Quote:

I hate to think of what I did to myself when I screwed up and used meth. Earlier to day, I swear I heard someone call my name and I looked around and did not see anyone. Meth made me feel like I was going crazy. All day, I have been twitching, seeing "flashes", irregular heartbeat, and just an overall "feeling of doom" of my health.

Even right now, I'm still twitching.

LOL, It's not really funny, but I used to see my pink purse flying around my room. I would sometimes see someone from the corner of my eye also. Ughh, that horrible scary feeling is so not worth it.

If you did coke right now, you'd probably start craving meth. Hold on, and stay strong.....

hopealwayz

I am in so much trouble because I spent my bill money on drugs.

Now, I'm scared because I don't know what to do... I don't want to lose this wonderful apartment because I really feel like it is a blessing to me right now.

With all of my heart and soul, I truly want to be clean and sober.

nutz

This too shall pass

turn it over
let go
drop it
It's that simple, not it ain't easy.
I had a hard time with willingness...so to make it easier on myself.
I allowed myself.

Oki doki....




.





you see that dot ?
That's your dis-ease, urge.
You are not the dot.
You are much, much greater.
You're like the rest of the page.

hopealwayz

Done, you really saw your pink purse flying?

That must have really freaked you out!!

Done_With_It

YUP, I KID YOU NOT........ I even wrote to my friend Jellybeanz, actually I think I was emailing her as it was happening one time..... I have it hanging on a hook to the right of me, about eye level so I think that was part of the reason, lol, I dunno, my head comes up with some dandy things sometimes. It's crazy in it's own right.

hopealwayz

Coke and meth are horrible. Coke binges always left me depressed, crying, curled up somewhere , wearing out the kleenex box and wishing someone would just shoot me to get it over with. My meth withdrawals had their own problems. Even though I haven't been curled up depressed and crying, all day long my body has felt overheated and I still feel an irregular heartbeat. Plus all of the twitching and just general weirdness.

I'll be so glad when I'm totally detoxed from everything. I hate this so much. But, it is a learning experience:: Even though I touched something that wasn't my DOC, it could still lead to nothing but trouble.