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Please help I’m having strong AV at 110 days

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Old 09-14-2018, 02:10 PM
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Please help I’m having strong AV at 110 days

I’m bailing hay at my sisters and this week with the fall weather I have had the worst urges ever and a voice in my head saying I can drink in moderation .

I so badly want to feel abuzz

But I don’t want to fall into that terrible trap of drinking so much every day and feeling like **** and putting my health in danger

So this is the walking part of the talking part… Isn’t it? This is really hard……
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Old 09-14-2018, 02:19 PM
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Hi Free, try to remember the reasons why you chose to get sober. Do you have any journals or old posts on here from your last days of drinking or early sobriety? In moments like that it always helped me to read actual proof of how awful I felt and how difficult it was for me to get through the days without a drink.

Ironically the further I come in recovery the more often I do forget this and think that I could drink in moderation. (The good thing is that also the further I come in recovery the less I see a point or anything rewarding in getting that buzz or numbing myself.)
But when I was still missing it and feeling like maybe, just maybe I could have it every now and then, it helped me to read through how bad I felt and also I had made a list with all the reasons why I no longer wanted to drink.

Also remember that it's always just for today
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Old 09-14-2018, 02:44 PM
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Thanks Kevlar.
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Old 09-14-2018, 02:46 PM
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Sending you a hug and lots of strength and serenity
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Old 09-14-2018, 03:05 PM
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Remind yourself why you got sober to begin with. With more sober time such thoughts will fade and grow dim. After a while, they won't bother you anymore.
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Old 09-14-2018, 03:11 PM
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Thanks least.

I need to ride this wave. So hard
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Old 09-14-2018, 03:22 PM
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Sometimes it is really hard.

Know for sure that getting through a day like this will make things easier next time. Maybe you can take a break from your work and relax. I'm glad you posted about this.
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Old 09-14-2018, 03:25 PM
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I believe in you and your recovery Free. You can do this.
I can see you want to be and stay free, Free

This list always inspires me.

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-recovery.html (101 Helpful Hints For Recovery)

Keep talking to us
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Old 09-14-2018, 03:33 PM
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Free, it is tough at times to get through these strong AV times. I have used distractions to get my mind on something else. The distraction can be anything you want it to be. Do laundry, mow a lawn, go to the store and make something fun for dinner, log on to this site and do exactly what you are doing, calling someone who can help talk you through this. I have been so glad the next morning when I wake up clear headed that it is hard to explain. You can do this and it will pass. Keep going.
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Old 09-14-2018, 03:35 PM
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I feel your pain Free I wanted a relief buzz so bad yesterday I could taste it. I did ride it out and milk and cookies ended the craving. I was so thankful I didn't drink when I woke this morning. Hopefully it will make me stronger the next time it happens. It was a real close call.
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Old 09-14-2018, 05:03 PM
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support to you

at the risk of being repetitious, play the tape forward (god, age! Play the DVD forward??)- what would be the consequences?
Also remember to eat and hydrate.
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Old 09-14-2018, 05:31 PM
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Free- stay in the 100 club with me.
Stay strong, I know you can do this.

Imagine waking up the next morning... and thinking it’s day 1. It could then trigger that horrible cycle we all know too too well.

Keep close to SR
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Old 09-14-2018, 06:52 PM
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Thanks marcutah, Dee, Anna, Phoenix j, bumblebee, and snazzy dresser and tekink!!

It really helped to have all of you respond.

It’s 21:51 in central Michigan and I’m sober!!!

I love you all
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Old 09-14-2018, 07:11 PM
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Free- I use to relate my drinking to weather and things I did. Especially, Fall is such a nice weather and I always drank....I try to avoid everything during initial days...If I feel i am feeling that it's nice weather and reminds me of drink....I go in shut the door and just pretend to be a shitttty weather and watch TV. I know I am missing all the good parts...But I am trying to build my immunity...I know one day I can just enjoy everything without my dark brain thinking about drinking...
Hang in there you will do just fine....Stay strong...
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Old 09-14-2018, 07:20 PM
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Thanks iwilltryagain and topspin
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Old 09-14-2018, 08:42 PM
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Hi Free! I’m so glad you posted here when you felt you needed support. I wish I had done that prior to my previous relapses. After that, the last time I felt strong urges, I did come back here a couple months ago, and it was a game changer for me! So helpful. Anytime I feel weak, I am trying to remember to reflect on Step 1. It has been very deep for me. Going through the steps are really helping me. I’m trying to remember all those previous relapses, all the times I created problems from drinking, the close calls I had, how bad I felt about myself., down to all the specific vivid memories. Then I reflect on how far I’ve come, how much better I feel about myself and my life. How a short temporary period of relief from giving in to a craving will just cause a much longer period of pain and consequences (to my psyche and well being if nothing else) and if I can just ride out the storm, I’ll feel so much better about myself. And the craving will eventually go away. Can you distract yourself with so,etching else while you are feeling this way? It helps me to lay down and mediate with my meditation app, go for a run or a drive. Of course, coming here as well. Stay strong. You can get through this!
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Old 09-14-2018, 08:45 PM
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Originally Posted by Unshackled View Post
I feel your pain Free I wanted a relief buzz so bad yesterday I could taste it. I did ride it out and milk and cookies ended the craving. I was so thankful I didn't drink when I woke this morning. Hopefully it will make me stronger the next time it happens. It was a real close call.
Good for you, Unshackled! All of these successes will make you stronger and stronger each time!
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Old 09-14-2018, 09:12 PM
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Thanks fearless !
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Old 09-16-2018, 02:20 AM
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Hi Free just saw this post, how are you going? Hope you’re hanging in there... play the tape forward to remind yourself what happens and hence why you don’t really want to drink xx
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Old 09-16-2018, 07:35 PM
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Thanks willow!

Yesterday was better.

Today ok too—

My sister also stopped drinking and we both discussed we KNOW we have a problem.

So for us, drinking is just not an option compatable with a healthy, happy life!

I appreciate everyone checking in.

Reaching out to all of you here really helped.

If someone is out there just reading these posts/visiting here, please know that SR is absolutely wonderful !!

Still sober and.....
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