I will not drink/use today
p***enger
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 19,047
I will not drink/use today
For which I am grateful.
Thanks to help from SR, AA, my doctor, a clinical social worker who saw me once, and my psychiatrist, and the support of my husband, sister, a few comrades, and the universal pantheon which seems to prefer things this way.
I highly recommend the sober way to anyone who feels unsure where to turn.
Thanks to help from SR, AA, my doctor, a clinical social worker who saw me once, and my psychiatrist, and the support of my husband, sister, a few comrades, and the universal pantheon which seems to prefer things this way.
I highly recommend the sober way to anyone who feels unsure where to turn.
how are you doing??
p***enger
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 19,047
Miaow kitty. I can't complain -- it's not good for my psyche. Some stress on the near-horizon. I hope this thread will keep me focused on not acting like the worst part of my self, even when I want to, and I know I will.
How are you?
How are you?
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 2,308
I've got 150 days today. I got myself to a meeting and feel a lot better after a down weekend.
I want to keep my chin up too - I have so many blessings and have much to be grateful for. I am so so happy to be able to say I almost have 5 months! (I have had 6 years in the past, but then spent another 5 years off/on the wagon. I'd guess the longest I went sober over the last 5 years was 3 months?)
Mercury is in retrograde and this year has been tough - but there are good things blooming too
I want to keep my chin up too - I have so many blessings and have much to be grateful for. I am so so happy to be able to say I almost have 5 months! (I have had 6 years in the past, but then spent another 5 years off/on the wagon. I'd guess the longest I went sober over the last 5 years was 3 months?)
Mercury is in retrograde and this year has been tough - but there are good things blooming too
p***enger
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 19,047
Congratulations on 150 days! I didn't know you went out after 6 years of sobriety. Those 5 years in between must have been hard. Isn't it sad how life just kind of trickles away when you're drinking? We're lucky to still have anything left. When my mind plays tricks on me, I remember the last time I had to crawl on the floor to get where I was going.
I should go to a meeting. I gave them up when I broke up with my sponsor.
I should go to a meeting. I gave them up when I broke up with my sponsor.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 2,308
Yes courage totally! When I went to AA 150 days ago and picked up a sponsor, I had a moment of shock and surprise. "I was in a relapse for FIVE years???!" Had been lying to myself about how long I had been off/on the wagon. Wow.
I went to AA this time out of sheer desperation. After my last drink I knew I needed to do something drastic to change. I am 100% certain it is why I've been able to string together almost 5 months. I never did AA before in my previous 6 years, in fact resisted it. I went to treatment and then tried to live life as just me, but sober.
AA reminds me of the fact that I am not alone and that there is a better solution. I was trapped in a cycle of "I am the ONLY person out there with a problem" (save for you lovely people on SR of course) and now that I've been going to meetings I realize how skewed that viewpoint was.
I went to AA this time out of sheer desperation. After my last drink I knew I needed to do something drastic to change. I am 100% certain it is why I've been able to string together almost 5 months. I never did AA before in my previous 6 years, in fact resisted it. I went to treatment and then tried to live life as just me, but sober.
AA reminds me of the fact that I am not alone and that there is a better solution. I was trapped in a cycle of "I am the ONLY person out there with a problem" (save for you lovely people on SR of course) and now that I've been going to meetings I realize how skewed that viewpoint was.
p***enger
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 19,047
Here I am It's the best place for me.
Kitty, I'm really glad you're digging AA. The AA program was incredibly beneficial for me. I loved the familiar faces, all sharing the same problem, the steps meetings, setting up chairs and making coffee. I still keep tuned-in through some daily reminders, but I'm not active. Kind of like being a lapsed Catholic I guess. I'll always know there's somewhere I can go.
Re my sponsor, she was great with the steps--she pushed me and particularly steps 4-7 really helped me make some changes. But she wanted to mix friendship with sponsorship, and at one point I felt like she was using AA- related confidences to push me "as a friend" in directions that were none of her business as a sponsor. I guess then I pushed back. And she, definitely, dropped me, about 7 months ago.
It's the best place for me.Kitty, I'm really glad you're digging AA. The AA program was incredibly beneficial for me. I loved the familiar faces, all sharing the same problem, the steps meetings, setting up chairs and making coffee. I still keep tuned-in through some daily reminders, but I'm not active. Kind of like being a lapsed Catholic I guess. I'll always know there's somewhere I can go.
Re my sponsor, she was great with the steps--she pushed me and particularly steps 4-7 really helped me make some changes. But she wanted to mix friendship with sponsorship, and at one point I felt like she was using AA- related confidences to push me "as a friend" in directions that were none of her business as a sponsor. I guess then I pushed back. And she, definitely, dropped me, about 7 months ago.
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