Hawkeye13

This is fantastic courage--I can manage more too though feeling lethargic about work, but loving the trail running right now.
Completed my first 10 mile "race" this Saturday, but wasn't too fast.

I finished it, however, and signed up for another 10K cross country in two weeks.

I ran hills on a rough forest trail yesterday and could have stayed there all day. Loved it.

How do I translate my enthusiasm for the trail to the workplace. . .
That seems to be my biggest question / issue at the moment.

ardy

today is going to be tough .. need a good run like so many of you can do.. hit the back trail and run through the woods .. with just the sound of my feet on the path.... I will not drink.. to day of all days.. for it will not help the out come of the day at all..

Truthbetold76

I will not drink today b/c I feel great on Day 9 and have an interview later this afternoon

ingeborg

I feel so good, I made my decision how to vote in the voting booth and that is over. I had no glass of my favorite wine last night. I woke up not hung over after a pretty sleepless night last night. I realize this is not going to be easy, I have been here before and failed. But I am so weary of fighting the hangover and the listless feeling the next day, and running out to get more wine for the evening and the expense. I just want it to stop. So here I am facing my next evening of not drinking wine, I know I won't. Thank you for listening. 💝

courage2

You people are awesome. Every single one of us who has a problem with drugs or alcohol and doesn't use or drink today is a spark of light gained back from the deep well of darkness and suffocation.

Ardy, ingeborg, truthbetold76 -- it's good to see you today.

courage2

Hi Hawkeye! If you like running, run. Sounds wonderful to me. If you don't like your work, work as little as you need to.

Me, I have little to no enthusiasm for anything *but* work. I have no hobbies or pastimes and only two relationships to speak of.

I chase professional projects because I'm the only income in my household, I live the most expensive city in North America, and I'd absolutely hate my job -- not be disinterested, really hate it -- if a) it didn't challenge me; and b) I didn't feel like I had some control over it.

The only way to be challenged is to push myself -- whenever I get good at something, to take on the next thing. The only way to get control is to control money or power, or both. I have to do this before I get too old, while I'm still considered useful and relevant. If I have a gap in productivity -- and I had a big, big gap for 2-3 years while I was drinking at my worst and in the first throes of early sobriety -- I'll be stuck, at best deadwood and at worst a crank.

Tension and general anxiety are driving me up the wall.

Why in the world would you trade the beauty and health of running for my heart-attach-waiting-to-happen?

Gilmer

I am glad you survived today, Courage. Because you chose not to drink, you managed to flourish.

courage2

You're a good person, Gilmer, 100%. I bet you get taken for granted. I take you for granted, and I apologize for it.

I always survive. So far. These are the things that I can't handle:

1. alcohol in my house,
2. associations with former partners in my crimes who are still active,
3. long absence from my husband who's my main support IRL,
4. going off meds (probably, never tried it, pretty sure it would be a bad idea).

I'm getting pressed to do #2 and I think that's what put me over the top today. That or election day or both.

This calls for Squirrels!

Gilmer

I hope you can dodge the old associates.

I'm OK. Every once in awhile I get a nice shot in the arm.

trachemys

Dinner! BLAM BLAM

courage2

Yum. My Aunt Alma used to have a good recipe for 'possum, so I'm told.

sleepie

HI mind if I hang around a bit?

courage2

Of course not, sleepie! We're just rustlin' up some vittles.

I talk like that when I want to rile up la-de-da know-it-all New Yorkers.

Delizadee

Hi sleepie! the more the merrier

The only rule about fight club, is we don't talk about fight club.

Everyone here gives me the warm fuzzies. In my feels.

courage2

It would be *SUCH* a blast to go out for coffee all of us. We would tear the place apart. Did anyone but me used to stand on tables and make speeches?

sleepie

No pills or anything today but wanted it, I will often want it I guess.

had a very tiny piece of to die for cheese.... moldy and craggy, I let it sit in my mouth to savor.

I have a small practice of "thanking" mentally all the people and animals and living creatures that brought the food to me, I think often of immigrants, I mean I don't think they made my cheese today but they sure get the shaft in our meat industry.

courage2

Re often wanting it, it's still a knee-jerk mental reaction for me sometimes at 2.75 years. "I could use a shot of bourbon right now." "A pill would make this ok." Ad nauseum. Like thumb-sucking for the tit-weaned infant. Doesn't satisfy the need, & the need has become just a phantom, but he's not quite ready to forget the motion.

Dee74

Hold tight as we move into part 2

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-part-2-a.html

D